10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy
by Drakulya
Summary: COMPLETE! Hermione is completely fed up with Malfoy and decides to make a list of ways to get rid of him. But what happens when most of her plans backfire and instead, ends up getting her very close to Draco each time? HGDM
1. Chapter 1: Hermione

Hey everyone! I know I'm meant to be finishing off my Lost in the Wild fic, but I seem to have writer's block for that right now... -.- So here I am, starting a brand spankin' new HP fanfiction, and I really hope you guys like this. -Crosses fingers and mutters feverishly-

Also, some of this idea of mine was thought up after I read the hilarious and wonderful fic by Ari Munami, called Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself. Go read! You won't regret it.

Thanks!

PS: This story will be in the POV of different characters each chapter, so make sure you see whose thoughts you are reading about before you get confused.

PPS: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all its characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Not me. OK?

& here it is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter One

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HERMIONE

Now, I don't want you to go think that I'm dangerous or anything like that. Definitely not. I'm a perfectly normal 16 year old witch who despises violence, and has no intention of ending up in Azkaban ever. I would never even think of jinxing anybody, unless they were just so annoying and irritating that no one can stand them any longer. That's when I would get up, calmly take out my wand and perform a hex on them.

And I know a lot of hexes and spells, believe me. If you don't, ask anyone who knows me. They'll confirm what I just said.

But there is one person and his two croonies who my friends and I jinx regularly. He completely fits into the category of people that I described above - and more. He's unkind, he's a liar, and plus he's a cheat. Once he and his followers tried to pretend to be a Dementor to scare Harry Potter into losing a Quidditch game, but Harry took care of them. Another time he got himself mauled by a hippogriff on purpose and nearly lost Hagrid his job (and for the hippogriff, its head). Again, Harry, but with me this time, just managed to save them both.

So you see what kind of person I'm talking about here. And you should have already guessed who it is.

That's right. Draco Malfoy. We've made him sprout little slugs, we've made his nose hang like a melon, and we've watched him being transfigured into a white ferret and bounced around the hall. All of this we did without feeling the slightest remorse or pity. Well, maybe remorse that he got turned back to normal every time.

I first met him on my first ever train ride to Hogwarts. He was kind of short, and had white blonde hair and unfathomable grey eyes that bored into you. He always either drawled or sneered (except when he was scared, hehe) and his face was just about permanently scowling. His lackeys, Crabbe and Goyle, certainly lacked something vital; intelligence. They were as dumb as they came, but somehow managed to scrape a pass in the end of year exams.

Anyway, Harry and Ron immediately made enemies of him and his minions, and I made friends with the former two, so basically Malfoy and I were not on good terms either. In the second year he let me know how much he hated me by calling me a Mudblood (a witch/wizard with muggle blood). The next year I got back at him by punching him squarely in the face. That had been extremely satisfying.

Now you should have a slight idea of why I hate him so much.

Well, right now, I'm on the Hogwarts Express, sitting in one compartment with my best friends, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived-and-Keeps-Escaping-Voldemort, and Ron Weasley. Ron's little sister, Ginny, is here as well, plus Neville Longbottom, a rather forgetful boy who is forgetful no longer. Ever since his Grandmother, who got tired of him leaving things at home and having to send them to him by owl, performed a complex but effective memory gain spell on him, he remembers things that most of us have forgotten.

"Remember the time when you put me in a full-body bind to prevent me from stopping you getting out of the common room in the first year, Hermione? When you were going to that trapdoor?" He laughs. "That was excruciating. But I guess it had been for my own good, eh?"

You see what I mean about remembering things. I squirm, embarrassed, in my seat. "I hope you didn't mind too much. I did apologize."

"Oh, it's not that I'm blaming you for it. After all, it had been more than four years ago."

Has it really been that long since we helped Harry get to the Philosopher's Stone? This year is my sixth. Oh, right. It is more than four years. "Hmm," I say absently. Neville sees that I am not responding properly and starts to engage Ginny in conversation.

"So, how's your holidays been?" Harry asks me, leaning over the table piled with food (half eaten pumpkin pasties, a few chocolate frog wrappers and an unopened bag of Every Flavor Beans). He's grown taller, finally, and stands about half a head higher than me. Ron, however, being the gangly one, is taller still.

"It was alright, same as usual. Did you receive Ron and my letters?" Harry had not been allowed to go out of the Dursleys' house this past summer, and we knew how much that would torture him, so we kept him up to date with the wizarding world by sending him newspapers and stuff.

"Yeah, thanks. They really saved my skin. Dudley's not much of a companion," he grins. Ron, who has seen Dudley before, nods in agreement.

"Bloody hell, he's definitely not," he says. "I could tell from just one look. And from what I heard, he hasn't changed much since I last saw him."

"Don't be unkind, Ron," I say. "I'm sure he's, uh, trying his best to go on a diet now, isn't he? Didn't you mention he went on one two years ago, Harry?"

"Yeah, but I don't think it worked that well. He threw tantrums everyday and just about wrecked the house."

"Oh. I see."

The scenery flies past outside the windows. The train driver announces that we would be there in 40 minutes, and I look outside. The meadows that were there a few hours ago are gone, replaced by inky darkness. Night is falling.

"Let's get changed into our robes," says Ginny. We nod and when we come back, we find a strange scene; Malfoy is sitting in our seats, without Crabbe and Goyle. He takes an Every Flavor bean and grimaces to himself as he puts it in his mouth. Ron clears his throat loudly and he looks up. Ginny and I take a sudden breath. His face takes on the usual scowl again, but somehow now it doesn't hide how good his glowing, pale skin and his clear, light blue eyes look. Or the way that his blonde hair, which is not so tidy anymore and has grown longer to his shoulders, falls just above his eyes. His eyes. With their long lashes and icy intensity -

Someone please punch me. I am disgusting myself. What am I thinking? That Malfoy is actually good-looking?

Ron does. "What are you doing, Hermione! You were staring at him with an odd look on your face," he says, looking horrified. I notice that Harry is pulling Ginny away sharply, a look of amazement on his face. It seems that Ginny couldn't control herself as well as I did and had tried to leap onto Malfoy.

"So, it's true." Draco's lazy voice drowns out my thoughts. Ah! His voice! It's no longer the annoying voice we always knew, but a slightly deeper, more sexy dra -

I seriously need therapy. Right now. Where are those psychologists when you need them?

"All the girls have been staring at me for the whole train ride. At first, it was only Pansy, so I thought that was normal. Then she left and came back with more girls, most of whom decided to jump me."

So that explains the messy hair. I grin. He glares at me.

"That's why I'm decided to, er, stay in your compartment for the last few minutes. No one goes in your compartment, anyway." He reaches for another bean.

"What makes you think that we would let you stay?" says Harry coldly.

"And what makes you think that I want to stay in the same compartment as Potty, Weasel, Mudblood and their friends?" Draco snaps. "I'm close to desperate. That's why I'm here."

Ron clenches his fists in anger. Harry holds him back while Neville imprints this event into his brain.

"Just pretend he's not there and sit down," he mutters darkly. We do so. None of the boys want to be near Malfoy so Ginny is sitting beside him while I am forced to sit opposite him. Ginny is blushing furiously at sitting next to Draco but all I feel is dread and longing for the train to be at Hogwarts.

"How long until we arrive?" I ask. Malfoy's been looking at me for the past five minutes - glaring, no doubt - and I am feeling more than a little nervous and annoyed.

Harry shrugs. "Dunno."

The next twenty minutes is spent in nearly unbearable silence, except for the occasional munching of Ron, who has given in to his hunger and is scoffing down the last of the pasties. Draco is still watching me, occasionally turning his head to glare at someone else or to examine his Every Flavor bean carefully before throwing it away or putting it into his mouth.

I try hard not to look at him and instead stare out the window, but it is so dark outside that the window turns into a kind of mirror and I see Draco's face now looking at the window too. We exchange glares and when he does the finger to me I give him a rough kick in the shins. I am rewarded with a barely suppressed 'oomph'. My friends turn and give Malfoy the combined glare of all of them together, though Ginny chickens out halfway and looks down.

"We will arrive in approximately 10 minutes," the train driver says over the intercom. We heave a sigh of relief and after eleven minutes of silent insults exchanged between us, Malfoy gives me a painful kick and leaves to go to the great hall with Crabbe and Goyle, who had been looking for him on the train.

I am so angry with him that I punch the nearest thing hard. That thing turns out to be Ron's back and he is propelled forward by the force of the hit. "Ouch! What was that for, 'Mione?" he complains, rubbing his back, as he returns.

Harry pats me on the back. "I know how irritating Malfoy is. Just take it easy, OK? He's not worth punching Ron about." I hear the hint and look at Ron sheepishly.

"Sorry about that. I guess I got carried away."

Ron nods and stops rubbing his back. "You're forgiven," he says, smiling.

At the great hall we sit in our house tables. Most of the Slytherins are bunched together into a tight crowd and I have a feeling I know who's at the centre. Some of the girls from other houses stare longingly at that table, as if wishing they could be there as well. Ginny is one of them. I shake her and she looks at me. "Huh?"

"Don't look at the Slytherins like that! You're a freaking Gryffindor, for goodness sakes."

"Oh. I was?" She blushes and looks in the other direction. "Thanks for telling me."

I look at the teachers as Dumbledore clears his throat and the Slytherins return to their seats. Most of them are surprised as Draco is revealed. The female teachers raise eyebrows and exchange glances. The new DADA teacher, a young, pretty witch called Professor Anderson looks especially fluttery. I see them mutter to one another, before becoming silent as Dumbledore spoke. Then the plates filled up with delicious food, and everyone tucked in.

Ron is the first to stuff his mouth with food, as usual. The pumpkin pasties on the train didn't seem to have even slightly eased his hunger, and he piles his plate up with more food as he eats. Harry is watching, laughing, and dives under the table to retrieve something so that he doesn't die laughing as Ron chokes and turns red. He glances at me with a pleading look. I sigh and wave my wand. Instantly he looks normal again and continues eating.

When the feast is over, the student body begins to disperse towards their own house areas and only the teachers are left. I walk with Harry and Ron as we head towards the painting of the Fat Lady. The current Head Boy, a tall 17 year old with short brown hair tells us the password (major fortuna). The painting swings open and we clamber inside.

"Ah! It's good to be back," says Ron, flopping himself down onto the closest squashy armchair. Harry and I follow suit.

"Back to a comfortable, four-poster bed," agrees Harry.

"What, did the Dursleys make you sleep in the cupboard again?" grins Ron.

"Nah, I'm too tall to fit in there now." Harry shakes his head. "No, they made me camp outside some nights when they couldn't stand Hedwig flying in all the time and rattling her cage when there was mail."

I laugh. "From us."

Ron stands up and stretches. "Well, I'm going off to bed. Lessons start tomorrow, remember?"

"Oh, that's good," I say happily. "What?" I ask when the other two stare at me.

"I still can't believe you actually enjoy lessons," grumbles Harry. "But at least that means you can check our work."

We bid each other goodnight and I head up to my dormitory. When I get inside Lavender and Parvati rush towards me.

"Did you see Draco, Hermione?" Lavender says excitedly. "Did you see him? He looks sooo gorgeous! I can't believe I didn't notice it all along!" Parvati nods in agreement.

I head over to my bed. "But he's still a stinking Slytherin," I say as I climb under the blankets. I see Parvati shrug.

"Well, at least now he's a really sexy Slytherin," she says, giggling, and starts whispering with Lavender.

I have a feeling that I'm going to have some trouble falling asleep tonight, with those two around.

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Good? Bad? Delete? It's all up to you readers to decide!

And I'm sorry for the unimaginative chapter titles, but I can't think of better ones... -.-;; Please tell me if I have made any grammatical or spelling errors. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: Draco

Thanks to everyone for the reviews! -Hugs- Keep them coming, hehehe.

Before we start this chapter I just want to tell you there's going to be some swearing in this chapter. It's in Malfoy's POV, so you would kinda expect him to swear in his head at least. Hope you guys are ok with that. Don't say I didn't warn you.

& here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter Two

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DRACO

My sixth year at Hogwarts has started rather strangely.

As soon as I'd stepped into Platform Nine and Three Quarters, I found many female eyes sweeping towards me. The older ones raised an eyebrows before turning back to what they were doing or glancing down at their daughters, whose attention was still fixed raptly on the blond 16 year old boy who had just walked in. I smirked. Many girls blushed, while some fought to keep themselves sneaking peeks at me while talking to their boyfriends. Most of whom were glaring at me with intense jealousy and hatred. If looks could kill, I'd have died a thousand times already.

Thankfully, they couldn't, and I was still alive and standing.

Well, anyway, I strode purposefully towards the train, ignoring everyone else. Then Pansy practically appeared out of nowhere and leaped on me. Thankfully I had grown taller and stronger over the summer, and was able to keep myself from falling over backwards. But just barely.

"Draco darling," she purred, giving me a look that I supposed was meant to be seductive, but only seemed extremely lecherous. "How were your holidays?"

Bloody hell. The girl runs up and nearly kills me just to ask a stupid question like that? I scowled at her and dragged myself, with some effort, to an empty compartment. Pansy clinged on all the way, much to the envy of some girls.

Fuck, what was wrong with them? Why were they looking at me like that?

I guess growing my hair must have helped my appearance a lot.

I finally managed to shake Pansy off after a few minutes of struggle. Then she decides to sit next to me and cuddle up. Shit. I pushed her roughly away and she pouted. She stood for a few minutes, and then sat down on the seat facing me. I can guess that she was probably wondering where would be the best place to sit for a good view of a certain Malfoy. At that moment, Crabbe and Goyle came in, probably after shoving open every single other compartment door they had passed to see if I'd been in them. No doubt the people who had been in them were quite pissed off.

"Where have you two been?" I snapped, jerking my head towards Pansy, who was now content with just staring at me. They looked sheepish.

"Sorry. Goyle wanted some food and chased the trolley witch to the front of the train." Crabbe elbowed Goyle and he doubled up in pain. Huh. Serves the bloody idiot right. You'd think that five years of being on the Hogwarts Express would have taught them that the food trolley didn't start selling until the train began moving.

After a few hours Pansy was still at it. Her eyes were fixed on me and watched my every move. Hell, didn't that girl ever blink?

"I'm going to go for a while. I'll be back, darling."

"Don't come back," I said, but she was already gone. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered faithfully like they always do when I say something even remotely funny. I sighed and wondered what to do to get away from Pansy before she returned. "Stay here," I told the other two, who nodded. I headed outside and saw something that made me pale. If that were possible. I already looked like a vampire. I had not been out in the sun much, if at all during the holidays, and my skin practically glowed, it was so white.

What I saw was Pansy marching towards me and leading a band of Slytherin girls, some of which I recognized. She pointed at me. Dammit. They saw me and started to run. The floor shook with the pounding of all their feet.

What was happening? Was I so good-looking that all these girls were chasing me?

But despite my confused thoughts I ran all the same. Some brave ones caught up before I started to get away and began to nuzzle my shoulder. Fuck! Must get away! I broke away from the crowd of girls and sprinted off. I was very fast when I wanted - needed - to be.

There was only one place I could think of to go. I spotted Potter heading towards the head of the train with his friends. When they had disappeared I glanced behind me to make sure there was no one in sight, then slid into their now empty compartment.

There, I sat for a while, speculating on all that had happened. Girls were staring at me. Girls were after me. Basically, they wanted me. It was a scary thought, even for a Malfoy like myself. I mean, sure, having hot girls wanting you if perfectly fine. But having people like Millicent Bulstrode after you is very frightening.

I picked up an unopened bag of Every Flavor Beans and distracted myself by trying out the flavors. If I could get an edible and actually good-tasting bean, then I would be pretty bloody lucky.

So when Potter, Weasley and Granger, plus Weasley's sister and Longbottom come in and see me, I am completely unaware of it, except vaguely aware that a door had been opened somewhere near me. Someone clears their throat. Weasley, no doubt. I glance up, feigning surprise.

After a bit of talk, they sit down. Because Potter, Weasley and Longbottom refuse to sit next to me and there is no room anywhere else, Granger is forced to sit opposite me and Ginny Weasley beside me. Ron's little sister is not much to look at - same red hair as all Weasleys have, and a face that I guess you could say, at a pinch, cute.

I turn my gaze towards Granger. She seems to have changed her look a little over the summer. Her hair is no longer bushy but slightly curly, flowing an inch or so past her shoulder. Her teeth are perfect, but that's probably because Madam Pomfrey had shrunk her front teeth some years back.

If she didn't study so much, Granger could actually be almost pretty.

Hmm.

She notices me staring and, looking embarassed, looks at the window. I flash the finger at her reflection and she sees it. Her eyes grow wide and I feel a kick on my shins seconds later. It hurts a lot and I restrain myself from howling. Well, I always knew how hard that Mudblood could punch. I had experienced it in my third year, for insulting that stupid half-giant Hagrid that the three loved so much. I had never been punched by anyone before. That was my first time, and hopefully my last.

When we get off the train I get my revenge on her by, er, accidentally kicking her back on the ankle. She gasps in pain and glares daggers at me. Nothing new there.

Crabbe and Goyle find me moments later. "Where were you? Why were you hanging around Potter?" asks the latter of the two.

"None of your bloody business," I say maliciously.

Goyle takes the hint and shuts up.

After the sorting of the first years, we are allowed a little free time before the feast began. Instantly I am surrounded by a gang of giggly, but sadly Slytherin girls.

"Oh, Draco, you look marvellous today!"

"I must agree. Your hair is just so - so gorgeous!"

"You've grown, Draco! -Attempted sexy laugh here-"

And so on. By the time Dumbledore stands up to make his usual speech and the crowd disperses, I could have kissed his wrinkled old feet.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts. For some of you, this will be your first time here. I hope you all had a pleasant journey here. But let's not keep you waiting, as I'm sure you are all quite hungry. Tuck in!"

Starving is probably a much better adjective. I can hear Crabbe's stomach growling loudly beside me.

The students all cheer and applaud as the plates fill up with food in an instant. Several first years gasp in delight and amazement at this spectacle, but I've seen this about a hundred times before, so I just eat with a bored expression on my face. Half of my house table keep sneaking glances at me, and you can probably guess which half.

After the feast, everyone leaves the hall quickly, tired by the train ride and looking forward to their warm bed in their dormitories. I, for one, am not only looking forward to sleep but also to getting away from those tiresome girls for the night.

So, when everyone is distracted (a very hard feat, since every few seconds Pansy keeps looking at me in that perverse way and everyone else is now also staring at me with a kind of surprised gape) I melt into the darkness and get to the Slytherin common room in a few minutes. I don't have Crabbe and Goyle with me, though, because obviously those two would be a little harder to hide in the shadows.

In my dormitory, I find, to my surprise, that Blaise is already here. When he sees me he practically jumps in amazement. "Draco! What did you do to your hair? It looks really sexy on you." Zabini giggles.

Did I mention that Blaise is a bisexual?

"Oh really," I manage to croak back, before taking off my robes and stripping to my boxers, all the while very aware of Blaise's hungry gaze that he has fixed on me. I dive into my bed as quickly as I can. Blaise looks distinctly disappointed.

After a while, the other Slytherin sixth year boys come in. After some muttering and then silence, snoring fills the air.

Fuck. I cover my head with my pillow and try my best to go to sleep, while at the same time trying not to think of all that had happened today. It seems like in less than one day I had turned into some kind of sex god - even more than before. I mean, ever since girls started to really notice boys I was always the one whom most people had a crush on. Now... I have a feeling that some girls in my house will be willing to take it further than just a crush.

Groaning silently to myself and thinking what might be in store for me tomorrow, I lie on my back and finally drift off to sleep.

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Ah, there we go. That's Draco's POV and the second chapter done, though that's not the last of chapters in his POV -A very big hint-. So now I hope you understand a little about why he's suddenly so sought after by the female population of Hogwarts. If you don't, er, you should be able to get it after a while. Basically it's his looks - unearthly glowing pale skin, roughly cut white blond hair, medium, muscular build. Yeah.

Thanks! Tell me anytime if I have to change my rating.


	3. Chapter 3: Ron

Thanks so much again for all those nice reviews! Hope you all enjoy this chapter. And I changed my rating, too - thanks to SnowHedwig05 for telling me!

Happy New Year, w00t. Christmas is already over, but hey, a late Merry Xmas anyway!

& without further ado, here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 3

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RON

Look. Before you suspect anything, I have to tell you. I am definitely straight. I am into girls (though I won't tell you which girls), not boys. Got that? Good.

But as a person with eyes, I must concede that Malfoy's looking pretty good this year. Alright. Extremely good. I won't mention anything more than that. Let's just say that most of the girls in Hogwarts are now having second thoughts about him, and putting him on their 'Possible' list. Some, on their 'Must have' list. Thank goodness Hermione doesn't seem to be affected, or she'd be blabbing about Malfoy as well as SPEW. And I don't think I could stand that. Ginny, however, is another story.

So after that peculiar train ride, and a good night's rest, I wake up the next morning feeling pleasantly warm in my four-poster bed. I sit up slowly, yawn and rub my eyes before scanning the room to see who else has already awoken. Harry seems to be struggling with the choice of staying in bed for another five minutes, or getting up and having some breakfast. The second option wins and he sits up, but with some difficulty as part of his brain appears to be trying to drag him back underneath the covers again. Seamus and Neville are already gone, and Dean Thomas is still fast asleep.

"Hey. Dean. Get up! It's the first day of classes," I say as I throw a cushion at his head. "You don't want to be late."

Dean groans and opens one bleary eye. "Huh? Oh, hey Ron. Goodnight to you, too." And he rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Harry rolls his eyes at me as he dives under the blankets to get changed. Man. After sleeping in the same dormitory for five whole years, you'd think that we wouldn't care who was changing or not. But Harry, ever the shy one, still keeps up his habit of getting changed whilst hidden from view.

I leave Dean as he is and put on my robes. Then, I stuff my wand into my back pocket for safe keeping, and in case we need to, er, teach someone a lesson. Harry emerges from the blankets, his robes all creased and his glasses at an odd angle. He adjusts it and attempts to brush his raven hair so that it looks presentable, though without much success. Sighing in defeat, and with the mirror giggling, Harry joins me at the stairway that leads down to the common room.

"So, what did you think of yesterday?" he asks me. Funny. I was just about to voice the same question.

"Definitely very weird," I reply, waving hello at Hermione, who had just emerged from the girls dormitory. "Though I'm really not surprised that Malfoy's being hunted down by girls, considering Ginny's reaction to him."

"Did you just say something about me?" A threatening voice whispers into my ear, and pulls my hair painfully. "Cos if you did..."

"Ouch!" I yelp. "Not the hair, Ginny!"

Ginny gives one last tug and let go, a smug look on her face for successfully hurting her brother. I give her a scowl, which she returns and then ignores. I hear a suppressed laugh and turn to Harry accusingly. "Hey! You're meant to be on my side. Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing. Never mind," Harry turns a little pink. Why, I can only guess.

"Is it because you support Ginny instead?" I ask him slyly.

He is now red, and coughs delicately before changing the subject. "Let's get down to breakfast," he says quickly, and with a warning glance in my direction, walks off. Ginny follows. Hermione comes up to me.

"Let's go, Ron," she says. "If you stand here all day we'll be late for lessons."

Speaking of lessons, I don't even have my timetable yet. "D'you know what we're having this morning?" I ask Hermione as we head towards the Gryffindor table a few minutes later. We find a seat next to Harry and sit down.

"I'm not sure. We'll get our timetables in a minute, though. Oh, look!" Owls had begun to stream in through a large open window, and each owl lands before a student, drops a sheet of paper and leaves. Some owls also leave letters and packages from home for several students, and Malfoy, I notice, gets a large packet of sweets again. He looks bored and unwraps the packet before passing it to Crabbe and Goyle, who each devour a considerable amount of the contents before handing it back.

Harry notices, too, but Hermione is too busy checking our new timetable to pay much attention to Malfoy. "Hmm. Oh, great. Double Potions with Slytherins first thing Monday mornings. And another session on Fridays, too!" She looks up and glares at the Slytherin table, fuming. "What a sad way to begin the year. At least we have a session of Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid the next morning. Without Slytherins."

"Uh-huh," I say, tucking into a sausage and some toast. Hermione gingerly picks at her scrambled eggs before sighing and pushing her plate away. "What, are you still mad about house elves making meals for us?" I say through a mouthful of sausage.

Hermione gives me a disgusted look. "Don't talk while you're eating! I don't want to see the process of a poor sausage getting mashed up in your jaws. And yes. They should at least get paid for doing this, right?"

Harry laughs. "Still on about spew?" he asks, his eyes twinkling. I know how hard that is for him, with Sirius gone and all, but Harry seems to be taking it all in his stride and looks quite healthy and happy. Good. If Harry was depressed this year, and with half the school after Malfoy, I would probably take Harry's lead and fall into depression, too.

"It's S-P-E-W! Not spew!" Hermione says hotly. "Can't you get it right for once?!"

Harry grins and turns back to his breakfast. "Hey, doesn't SPEW spell 'spew'?"

Hermione looks very stormy and mutters something about 'idiotic boys who can't even respect a name'. Personally, though, I have to agree with Harry. It's hard not to call it spew. S-P-E-W is too long for anyone to bother.

After breakfast, the three of us head towards the dungeons. Hermione gets over her anger with Harry as we approach the cold, stone classroom that Potions is held in. "It's so cold. Why didn't they take the fireplace from Trelawney's old class and stick it here?" she complains. Harry nods.

"Yeah, a fireplace would be good, but none of that perfume, thanks," he says, wrinkling his nose at the memory of how the original Divination classroom's heat and strong perfume always made him sleepy.

We enter as quietly as we can and find seats next to each other. Seamus, Dean and Neville are already here. Some Slytherins are, too, but thankfully no Snape, so we can talk freely. "What do you think we'll be making today?" asks Neville, his round face anxious. "Do you think that now my forgetfulness is cured, that I'll do better in Potions?" He glances at the ingredients on the table as he speaks.

"Probably," says Harry. "You'll remember to do exactly what Snape says, and you'll remember everything you read on the blackboard."

"Yeah, you'll be able to make a perfect potion, and Snape won't pick on you anymore!" I add. Neville heaves a sigh of relief and looks very happy.

As reluctant as I am to admit it, I'm actually kind of envious of Neville's newfound ability (with his grandmother's help, of course) to remember small details. I think I'll go to his grandmother and ask for a memory gain spell performed on me, too.

Just then, Snape sweeps in, followed by Malfoy, his cronies and a bunch of other Slytherins. He catches me leaning back into my seat after breaking off my conversation with Harry and Neville, and smiles maliciously. "Well, well. Looks like Weasley and Potter have been having a nice little chat. Five points from Gryffindor for both of you." Harry looks furious at this, and I know that my expression must mirror his. But we know better than to argue, and fall silent, both of us casting a dirty look at the Potions master. Malfoy smirks before sitting down in the only empty seat left, the one beside Hermione. She looks like she has trouble deciding whether to inch away or inch closer.

Wait. That can't be what Hermione is thinking. When I look again, she's sitting near the edge of the seat - away from Malfoy. I let out the breath I have been unconsciously holding and am glad that Hermione hasn't fallen for Malfoy's charming looks like Ginny. At least we'll have one girl to complain to about Malfoy, who won't stick up for him.

"Today we will be making the Potion that reverses the Shrinking potion we made a few years back. This potion makes the shrunken victim normal again, which can be quite useful in case of accidents with the Shrinking potion," he says. He taps the blackboard and lines of instructions instantly appear. "Read each line carefully before proceeding. Make sure you conduct each instruction exactly as it says. You may start!"

I peer at the blackboard for a while, memorizing the first line and carefully slicing a fat leech into thin pieces. Around me, people are doing the same. Some, like Hermione, have already proceeded onto the next line of instructions, which is to put the sliced leech into the cauldron (filled to half with water) and allow to simmer, before stirring three times anti-clockwise and adding the unicorn horn powder at the same time. I put the leech in and spot Neville, sweating in effort as he reads and rereads each line about ten times, by the looks of it, and that reminds me that I had better get on with the potion and stop peering at what everyone else is doing or I'll never be finished.

When everyone has completed their potions and smoke in different colors is fuming from each cauldron, Snape walks around and examines each potion carefully. He comes to a stop next to Crabbe's desk and sighs. "Crabbe. What did I say about the lacewings? I didn't tell you to dump them all in, it says clearly on the board to put each one in with a few seconds break between each." He moves on and, eyes glittering, comes to a standstill beside Neville, who is trembling like a leaf. Snape looks at his cauldron.

"Yes! Snape's got nothing to say about Neville's potion!" Harry whispers triumphantly to me. I grin, but it quickly fades when I hear what Snape says.

"Ten points from Gryffindor! Granger, I've told you before, do not whisper instructions to Longbottom!"

Hermione gapes at him for a few seconds. "But, Professor! I'm three seats away from him! How can I be whispering instructions?"

Snape glares at her. "Don't make me take more points off Gryffindor, Granger," he says dangerously, turning back to the rest of the class. "Dismissed!"

The Slytherins are grinning at what has happened as we file out the door, and Malfoy comes up to Longbottom.

"Well, I'm glad that your potion was actually looked right for once," he drawls, producing a small vial from his robes and unstopping it. "So I think we can all test to see if it really works." In one quick move, he pours the contents of the vial onto Neville, who immediately shrinks into a chubby baby, his loud cries causing many to block their ears. The Slytherins all start laughing uncontrollably. Malfoy smirks for the second time this morning and turns to leave. I have an urge to punch him and by the looks of it, it seems that most other Gryffindors are struggling with that same urge.

"Someone get Professor Snape!" Lavender cries, rushing over to Neville, with Parvati not far behind. "We can't leave him like this."

"Get back here, Malfoy!" I yell at his retreating back.

He turns his blond head slightly and stops. "What are you going to do, Weasley?" he sneers. "Fight me? I'd like to see you try."

Actually, I hadn't realized before how Malfoy is now a little more muscular than me. And though we are around the same height, I would probably come off worse in a real fist fight.

I am having second thoughts about a fight, but I can't just back down completely. "Go eat dirt, Malfoy!" I shout back instead. He laughs and leaves. I am fuming but try not to show it.

A few minutes later Snape comes (Parvati went to get him). He looks at the brawling baby that Neville has become and looks like he is trying not to burst out laughing (a very rare expression for him). Coolly he takes out a vial similar to Malfoy's and pours the counter potion onto the baby. Instantly Neville begins to turn back to his normal self. He thanks Snape, stuttering a little.

"Th-th-thank you, P-Pro-Professor S-Snape."

Ok, maybe not a little stuttering. Make that a lot.

Back at the common room, Neville is so embarassed by the event that he decides to miss lunch when we offer to walk down to the Great Hall with him. "It's OK," he mutters, climbing the stairs to the boys dormitory. "I'll be fine. See you at Transfiguration." And that's that.

Harry, Hermione and I just stare at each other.

"That was such a mean thing to do!" Hermione bursts out at the Gryffindor table at lunch. She is so angry at Malfoy that she shoves some potatoes into her mouth, forgetting momentarily about house elves. "I mean, what did Neville ever do to him?"

"It's probably just the fact that he exists," Harry says, emptying his plate into his mouth and spooning more onto it. "You know how Malfoy does things for no particular reason."

"I bet he was jealous that Neville's potion was correct and his wasn't," I add.

Hermione raises an eyebrow. "How do you know that his was incorrect? I was next to him and saw that his potion was perfect."

"Oh."

"But still...!" She punches the table in anger, causing the goblets, filled with pumpkin juice, to shake and spill some of their contents. "He had no right to do that to poor Neville!" Harry and I shrink back a bit.

Hermione seems to be angry and violent a lot lately. For instance, after we got off the train, she punched my back so hard that I'd staggered. Well, I suppose it's all good, just as long as she doesn't aim her anger at me. I don't want to suffer injuries this early in the year - Quidditch is coming up in only a few weeks.

I just hope that she gives Malfoy the beating he deserves. Go get 'im, Hermione!

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I hope I didn't make the characters too OoC in this chapter. I tried to keep to their personalities in the real books. And in this chapter, you should start to see why Hermione begins to write the list.

Comments and critique is very welcome!


	4. Chapter 4: Hermione

Heya, everyone! Again, I appreciated all your reviews. This chapter is dedicated to all of you! -Blows kisses- :D

(Btw, does anyone know what the term 'AU' means? I've seen it in the description of some stories and I want to know what it stands for...)

& look, here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 4

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HERMIONE

Argh! Damn him!

I still can't get over what that filthy - little - Slytherin - slug did to poor Neville at Potions. It was such an awful thing to do! Neville was so ashamed that he refused to come down for lunch and just muttered something about Transfiguration that I didn't catch, but Harry and Ron obviously did, because they nodded and left him alone. I didn't want to leave him, but I was feeling hungry so I gave him a quick grin, which he feebly returned, and clambered out of the portrait-hole.

That was a few hours ago.

Now we're in the Great Hall again, this time for dinner. Neville had turned up for Transfiguration and History of Magic after lunch, and since then has seemed normal. Right now, I spot him sitting a few seats away from Harry, Ron and me, talking animatedly with Dean and Seamus. When he sees us, he gives a little wave and smile. I sigh with relief that he's alright again, and settle down for the meal.

"Neville seems pretty fine now," says Harry, as food appears on the golden plates.

"Yeah," Ron agrees. "I think he's gotten over the Potions incident." Just like last night, he begins stuffing his face again. I sigh and tut softly.

"Sheesh, Ron, do you always have to eat like such a pig?"

Harry laughs, spooning up a bit of mashed potato. "You should have some table manners, like me."

Ron rolls his eyes (a difficult feat to do while eating, but something that he can pull off) and goes back to wolfing down his food.

After the meal, as we are walking out of the Hall, we pass the Slytherin table. Most of them laugh as Neville goes by, but he ignores them and continues walking. Malfoy smirks when he sees us, and taps his wand casually on the table. A cup of pumpkin juice flies from in front of Goyle towards me and before I can dodge it, spills its contents all over the front of my t-shirt. The Gryffindors around me become silent as they all realize what has happened. Malfoy, that jerk, is still smirking his head off. Thankfully I am wearing a dark color, or my top would have become see-through...

I glare at him, and pretend to flick my hair with the hand that holds my wand. I don't think anyone else but Harry and Ron notices my movement at first, because they are all glaring at Malfoy, but when he suddenly sprouts bunny ears and a fluffy lump for a tail, they start laughing hysterically and congratulate me on my comeback. Smiling smugly, I turn and leave before Malfoy can do anything else to me.

Outside I probably look calm and collected right now, but inside I am fuming with anger. I am wearing one of my favorite tops, and since I don't want to let the house elves wash my clothes, I will have to spend hours washing it off by hand. Hours wasted, when I could be studying and finishing off my homework, or even relaxing outside! I sigh to myself. Well, as long as the elves don't have to do it.

"That was great, Hermione!" grins Ron later in the common room.

"Hmm," I say in response.

"You should have seen Malfoy's face when he realized why everyone was laughing," adds Harry, smiling as well.

"Hmmm," I say again.

Ron frowns. "Is something wrong, 'Mione?"

"Hmmmm..."

"Are you angry because of Malfoy?" Harry, dear Harry. Always so able to pick up on people's feelings. Well, perhaps maybe not with Cho last year, but now he's much better at it.

"Well, yes!" I burst out. "Look what he's done in only a day! First he embarassed Neville, then he spills pumpkin juice on me, which you all should know is nearly impossible to wash out!"

"It is?" Ron looks confused. Bless him. He's probably never washed anything in his entire life. "Well, you could leave it to the house elves. I sure they could get the stains ou - I mean, never mind," he finishes quickly when I give him a disapproving look.

"I'm not letting the house elves have more work to do. I'm going to get this out myself. But before that..."

I think for a while. How can I stop Malfoy from annoying Gryffindors? Give him a heart to heart talk? I don't think so. Threats? No, I'd get in trouble with Dumbledore. But... if I could get rid of him by magic... or by force...

"What are you thinking, Hermione?" asks Harry curiously. Ron looks like he wants to know the same thing.

"I'm thinking..." I start slowly. "... that we could get rid of Malfoy for a while. Like what Fred and George did to some guy last year - stuck him in a vanishing closet, didn't they?"

Ron's jaw drops open. "Are... are you thinking of killing Malfoy?"

"No, of course not, stupid!" I snap. "I would probably go to Azkaban for that. I mean just temporarily - you know, injuries, illnesses..."

His jaw drops even further. If that's possible. "Hermione! What's gotten into you this year? You're so violent nowadays." He looks thoughtful, however. "Though I'm not saying that's an entirely bad idea..."

"True," says Harry.

"So, you guys all in for it?" I ask, getting excited at the prospect of saving Hogwarts from a great evil, if only for a little while each time.

"What's in it for us?" Ron asks slyly.

"Hm..."

"How about this," Harry says suddenly. "We help you get rid of Malfoy, and you stop badgering us about spew the whole year. Starting from now," he adds as I open my mouth crossly to correct his reference about SPEW. "Deal?"

It is a big price to pay, giving up my campaign for elf rights for one whole year, but if it means stopping Malfoy then it's fine by me. Although because of his now amazingly good-looking face and physique (yes, I'm dying to know why he looks so handsome all of a sudden, too), most of the girls are after him, which could make my idea to attack him harder with them crowding around him all the time. But I would have to manage...

"Alright, then. It's a deal," I say grudgingly, and scowl when Harry and Ron whoop and slap high-fives. "There's no need to be that happy!" I protest. The two look at me sheepishly and smile.

"Well, we're not going to devise how to get rid of Malfoy - you can do that. But we will help the practical stuff. Like shoving him down the stairs or something..." Harry chuckles. Little does he know that he has just put an idea into my mind.

"Shove him down the stairs, huh?" I muse. Harry looks startled. "Could be a good idea."

"Wh-what? You're actually going to do that?!" Ron yells. "No way! You might kill him (though it wouldn't be a great loss)! You'd go to Azkaban!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Ron," I say breezily, waving a hand. "I'll take care of the planning. You're just meant to help me perform the deeds."

He grumbles something incoherent, but remembers the deal about SPEW and shuts up.

"Goodnight, then," I say to Harry and Ron, and they nod before disappearing into their dormitories. I do the same, and find the room empty. Lavender, Parvati and the others must still be outside in the Great Hall. Not that it is a bad thing; it would give me time to think about my first plan for letting Neville and other fellow Gryffindors walk around the school in peace for a while at least.

Smiling to myself, I think of what Harry said about pushing him down the stairs, and decide it might not be such a dangerous idea after all, if I am careful... I would have to push him off a small flight of stairs. If I shove him down something like the stairs to the North Tower, he would probably break his neck and die. Not what I have in mind.

I take out my diary (which is just about empty, since I hardly ever bother to write in it) and rip out a page. On it, I scribble:

_--- Plan 1: Push Malfoy down the stairs._

_When: When he is alone (if ever)._

_Why: For being a git. No other reason needed._

_How: When he is walking down a small flight of stairs, casually bump into him and cause him to fall down. Easy as that. Do not make self look conspicuous or make the shove look intentional. Try to take him by surprise or he may resist my attempt._

That should be good enough.

I rip out the page and stuff it in the pocket of the pair of jeans that I plan to wear tomorrow. I take my soiled t-shirt and put it in a plastic bag, then into my trunk. I would have to remember to wash it tomorrow morning or evening. Finally, I sink into my bed and close my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

The next morning arrives. Sunlight peers through the window and falls in shafts to the floor, making previously invisible dust dance around like glitter. I rub my eyes and sit up, getting dressed quickly. Today we have Care of Magical Creatures, and I don't want to be late. The rest of my dormitory is still asleep and looks as if they are dead to the world, only the sounds of their breathing making it obvious that they are still alive. I slip out the door and head to the common room.

No one is there. I glance at my watch and sigh. "Only seven o'clock," I murmur to myself. A bit early to go to breakfast, so I decide to sit in a puffy armchair and wait for my friends to rise.

About half an hour later, Harry emerges from the boys dormitory and spots me. I nearly fell asleep while waiting, but when I see Harry I pick myself up and smile in greeting. He hurries down the stairs and comes towards me. "Hey, Hermione! What are you doing up so early?" he asks. Then he wrinkles his nose. "Don't tell me you're planning to ambush Malfoy before breakfast."

I laugh. "No, not quite. But I am probably going to try my first plan today."

He stares at me, looking amazed. "Are you sure? I thought you were only kidding last night!"

"Since when did Hermione ever joke about things like that?" Ron's voice floats out from behind Harry. He turns quickly and grins at Ron, who joins us. "So you're going to do the first deed yourself? You sure you won't need help shoving him over?"

I shake my head. "No, thanks. You can be lookouts if you want to help on this one," I say brightly.

"Lookouts? Sure!" Turning to Harry, Ron whispers, "This is starting off easier than I'd thought."

"Don't worry, Ron. Your jobs will hopefully get a lot harder later on. I'll make sure of that," I say jokingly.

After breakfast we head out towards Hagrid's hut for Care of Magical Creatures. As the three of us walk along the hallway, I see Malfoy and his two cronies swaggering along in the same direction, though they are a little ahead of us. I suddenly stop, causing Ron to crash into me. "Ow!" he complains loudly. "What was that about?"

"Shhh!" I whisper. "He's right there! This could be my chance. Can you two distract Crabbe and Goyle?" The two idiots are some way behind Malfoy, about three metres, so I expect that Harry and Ron could probably get them away without too much fuss. And so they do. Ron performs a full body bind from behind on Crabbe, and rushes ahead to grab him before he topples to the ground and makes a huge noise, but nearly gets squashed in the process. I stifle a giggle and watch as Harry goes ahead and tells Goyle something that makes his greedy little eyes light up, and Harry leads him away. Soon they disappear behind a corner. I suppose Harry must have told him there was some very delicious dessert still left in the Great Hall.

That leaves me with my job. Cautiously I walk quickly forward until I am directly behind Malfoy. He is talking, thinking that his minions are still behind him. "... We're having that idiotic half-giant for Care of Magical Creatures again. Ironic, isn't it? He's the one that should be taken care of..."

I bite back an insult and though my hands are itching to grab my wand and hex him, I control myself and walk along, trying to grunt and sound a little like Crabbe and Goyle. When we reach some stairs consisting of about eight or nine steps, I walk behind and to his left a little, and as he starts to walk down, I move forward to push him... and lose my footing as my right foot slips from the stair.

Malfoy sees me and his eyes widen as I start to fall towards him. "Granger...?!" He grabs me quickly around my waist to stop my fall and he staggers backwards down a few steps, but doesn't lose his balance. My heart had been pounding with adrenaline and now starts to slow down as it realizes that I am safe.

For a while we just stand there, Malfoy with his arms circling my waist and my own hands out in front of me, resting on his chest. A wonderful musky smells fills my nose and I realize how close I am to my worst enemy. I glance up and find that he is looking at me, amused. I feel my cheeks getting warm and push myself away hurriedly, turning to leave.

"Don't I even get a thanks for saving you, Granger?" he calls out. I stop hesitantly and turn back around, sighing.

"Oh, thank you so much for saving my pitiful life, Malfoy. You are my hero," I say, rolling my eyes. "There. Happy now?"

"Very. You may go, oh pitiful one." His eyes sweep the area. "I suppose you were responsible for luring Crabbe and Goyle away as well?"

"Yes. It wasn't very hard."

"All so that you could crash into me? Don't tell me you've fallen for my good looks and charm, too." He smirks. "Though I have to admit that it was a good plan."

I blush and glare at him. "No, Malfoy. For one thing, I didn't crash into you. I fell by, er, accident. And for another - unlike most other girls, I know you're a heartless git who has brainless idiots for friends."

He blanches in anger. "Well, at least I don't go around following heartless gits with brainless idiots for friends," he hisses. "Unlike you, Mudblood."

We glare daggers at each other for a while, my face red with anger and his pale, as always. Then I spin around and stalk away, towards Harry and Ron, who releases Crabbe from his body bind and leaves him around the corner to recover.

"How was it?" Ron asks excitedly, but his face falls as he sees my expression. "You failed?"

"Pretty much," I mutter. "I slipped and fell on top of him."

Harry laughs. "That's better than nothing, right? At least you hurt him a little bit, though not enough for him to stop walking around."

I sigh and smile slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

In my head, I am already planning a new scheme, though I don't tell the others. Next time, I won't fail.

And I definitely did not enjoy Malfoy having his hands on me. The nerve of that idiotic ferret!

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I hope you liked this chapter, especially the bit where Draco unintentionally hugged Hermione... teeheehee! This chapter was pretty long for me, so next time it may be a little shorter (usually my chapter lengths are like Chapter 1). And sorry the insults exchanged between Hermione and Draco were so lame, I couldn't think of anything...

Remember to click that little blue/purple button beside 'Submit Review'! Hehehe.


	5. Chapter 5: Harry

Yo, peoples! Thanks again for all your reviews. Comments to my reviewers for the previous chapters are at the end of this chapter. (That's why it's so long.)

I think Harry is a bit OoC here. I hope you don't mind, hehe. -Runs away- And 5th year Prefects are still Prefects in their 6th year, right? Wasn't Percy a 6th year in Chamber of Secrets and a Prefect?

& without further ado, here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 5

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HARRY

Is it just me, or has the whole female student body of Hogwarts suddenly started swooning at Malfoy whenever he passes?

Somehow, by the reactions of Ginny, Parvati and Lavender to the blond ferret, I don't think that it's my imagination. Plus they're some of the prettiest girls in the school. Please, don't tell them I said that about them, or I will personally dispose of you.

However, thankfully, Hermione seems oblivious to Malfoy. I know that because she has just recently started planning to murder him. In fact, she's making a list of ways to get rid of him - and I, for one, hope that she succeeds, if that means Ginny will stop gawking at Malfoy like all the other girls.

What? It's true. She does gawk at him.

Honestly, by the way she looks at him sometimes, you'd think she was becoming a Pansy clone. And you should all know what Pansy's like. If you don't, here's some flashbacks to help jog your memory (I heard these from some gossiping girls in Slytherin):

_FLASHBACK 1._

"Pansy! Get off of me!" Malfoy hollered, after waking up and finding Pansy on top of him and nuzzling his ear. He sat up, pushed her away and dressed in record time before she could jump on him again. Then, he hurried towards the common room.

"Oh, but Draco!" she pouted and called after him. "Come back! Now's the perfect time to have a romantic candlelit dinner!"

"Now is 2am! Get lost and go back to your own bloody dormitory!" he yelled back.

"But...!"

"Go away! I told you before, Parkinson, don't come into my dormitory in the middle of the night!"

_END FLASHBACK 1._

_FLASHBACK 2._

Malfoy had broken his arm last year, while we had been at the Ministry of Magic, fighting Death Eaters. Apparently, Peeves had zoomed through him by accident, and while he went through Malfoy's arm, the heavy iron chains he had been carrying didn't. He howled in pain as the bones in his arm cracked and, as expected, Pansy rushed through the gathering crowd and kneeled down beside him.

"Aww, Draco! You broke your poor widdle arm!" she commented.

Malfoy glared. "That's obvious! While you're here, why don't you do something useful, like go away?!"

"But surely you don't mean that! Let me kiss your arm better, my darling," she said, ignoring his protests and grabbing his arm roughly, causing something else to snap. Malfoy's eyes widened and he nearly screamed as a fresh wave of pain shot from his arm.

"Goyle... Crabbe... g-go get a teacher!" he managed to gasp, whilst fending Pansy off at the same time. The crowd twittered and some other Slytherins started to hurry away to find a teacher, since they all knew how dumb those two were.

Finally, Professor Snape arrived, and walked briskly towards Malfoy, stopping Pansy just as she was about to tackle the boy. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Malfoy's arm. "Peeves, was it?" he asked. Malfoy nodded mutely, and Snape, conjuring up a stretcher, levitated Malfoy onto it and led him towards the Hospital Wing.

According to some, after the incident Peeves had refused to say whether he did it on purpose or by accident.

_END FLASHBACK 2._

So you see what Pansy's like now. And as reluctant as I am to admit it, I almost feel sorry for that snotty Malfoy. Not that he really is snotty, of course. It's just a way of speech.

Anyway, onto a happier note... I can't believe Ron and I actually managed to get Hermione to stop talking about spew for one whole year! And it was a good deal - we help her get rid of Malfoy, and she shuts up about elf rights. Ron also persuaded her to stop glaring at us whenever we eat. Her glares were almost as frightening as her speeches about spew were pointless. I mean, why complain about paying elves and setting them all free, when they love their jobs here at Hogwarts? Honestly. Girls these days are so confusing.

Just like Ginny - she's dated more guys in her five years here than all of us three put together. She dumped Dean in the holidays (they had been sending owls to each other and visiting each others' houses), and now was seeing some guy called Jeffrey Wilson. And she still finds the time to stare at Malfoy. Sheesh.

Oh well. Never mind that.

"So what are you going to do next?" I ask Hermione, as we trudge along back to our common rooms after Care of Magical Creatures.

People from all houses are milling around as they exit from their last class and start towards their own common rooms before the next lesson. Ours would be DADA - Defence Against Dark Arts - and it's with Slytherin. Again! Honestly, if I didn't know Dumbledore better, I'd have sworn that he's making Gryffindors have their classes with Slytherins on purpose. Then again, knowing him, he's probably trying to 'unite' the houses, especially the two that hate each other the most. Though I don't think having lessons with Slytherins will improve our unity with them.

"Oh, I don't know, really," she answers, shrugging. "I haven't thought of a new plan yet."

"You're gonna keep going?" Ron stares at her. "Honestly?"

"Yes," she says, smoothing her jacket absently. "I need to wash that top, too... remind me, guys."

"Wash your top, wash your top, wash your top," Ron chants in a monotone.

"Not now," she snaps at him, amused.

"Wash... top... wash... your... top..."

"Shut up, Ron," I laugh, punching his arm lightly. "You sound like a broken record."

"Wash... wash... top... your..." Ron is now looking delirious and his eyes are beginning to roll around in their sockets. Urgh. The lengths he goes to just to make a joke.

"Is something wrong? Are you OK, Ron?" Hermione asks worriedly.

"Don't worry about him, he's just acting," I say, waving a hand breezily. "He does this all the time in the dor - whoa!" Ron starts to sway and Hermione and I catch him just in time as he collapses. "Ron! Are you alright, Ron?"

Ron doesn't say anything, but makes a small gurgling sound. "Urg... gur..."

"We need to take him to the Hospital Wing!" cries Hermione. I nod and, placing Ron's arm over my neck, lift him up and support him as we walk. Soon we arrive at the Wing, and knock the door urgently.

"Yes, what is it?" Madam Pomfrey opens the door and glances at Ron. "Oh, feeling ill, is he? Come in. Goodness knows, I've seen you three in here more times than any other students that I can remember."

I grin weakly and hoist Ron onto a bed. Hermione places his feet, which are dangling down, onto the mattress and we wait anxiously while he gurgles. Madam Pomfrey joins us a moment later. "So, what's wrong with him?" she asks, examining his eyes, which are rolling a little, carefully.

"Well, we were just walking from Care of Magical Creatures, and then he suddenly collapsed!" Hermione says, frowning. "He was fine, then his eyes started rolling and stuff..."

"Hmm, Care of Magical Creatures, was it? Were you studying wood sprites, by any chance?" Madam Pomfrey turns to look at us. We exchange a glance.

"Actually, yes, we were," I say slowly. "But I don't think anyone else was sick..."

"Is he going to be alright?" Hermione blurts the question I was about to ask. I nod and look at her questioningly.

She laughs. "Don't worry about it. He'll be fine. It's just the wood sprites' pollen that's made him ill. I believe he is allergic to it... and quite severely so, too. Though it's nothing my anti-allergy potion shouldn't fix." Madam Pomfrey smiles at us. "He'll be up and walking by tomorrow morning. You can see him then. For now, you'll have to go away." She shoos us towards the door and shuts it behind us.

"Well, that's good," I say, relieved. "We'll visit him tomorrow morning, I guess."

Hermione looks a bit... unhappy somehow, but she smiles at me and nods. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

I wonder why she's so upset?

Is it because... no way, it can't be. Could it?

Hermione likes Ron?

Later this evening, we sit in the common room, the two of us plus Ginny. It makes me nervous to sit so close to her, but I control myself and think calming thoughts, like Quidditch, where I will kick Malfoy's ass, and waterfalls and flowers and prancing gnomes dancing around naked...

Hold it. Scratch that last part. Naked gnomes are part of my nightmares, actually.

Anyway, we are sitting at the same table and writing our Potions homework. Ginny had been very worried about Ron when we told her, but now that she knows that he's going to be OK, she's the same as always.

"Hey. That bit's wrong, Harry. Moonflowers aren't used for preventing bad burns, they're used to cure lunatics," Ginny says, leaning over to inspect my work.

Leaning over, even closer! Our faces are about ten centimetres apart, but she's looking down at my work, and I'm blushing and staring at the back of her lovely red head. Hermione raises an eyebrow knowingly, and grins. I glare at her, and she stifles a giggle.

Hermione glances at her watch. "Oh, nearly 8pm. I have Prefect duties tonight." She sighs and packs her essay away into her bag. Ginny and I look up, and silently I give her a look that says, _don't leave me alone with Ginny! I'll make a fool of myself!_ But it is Prefect duties, so she shrugs apologetically and gives me a replying look that plainly says, _well then, make the most of your time alone with her, Lover Boy. Hahahaha. _

And then she leaves. Suddenly I realize why she was so unhappy about Ron being in the Hospital Wing. If she does like him... then this means she can't do duties with him tonight, can she?

And so I am alone. With Ginny, who is prodding me. "Hey, Hermione's gone, but we still have to do our homework," she says.

"Um, yeah, you're right," I manage to splutter, before bending my head quickly and crossing out my sentence about the moonflowers.

Oh boy. I hope Hermione finishes her duties soon, before I do anything really stupid.

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Thank you to all my reviewers so far (comments are replies for the people who reviewed chapter 4):

moonmouse, XXXpinkkitty5467, ITK with a dark side, Cold-eyes-for-you, Supreme Neo slytherin Countess, Cherry Arrow, Best of My Love, Swimming-Gal, Vendethiel, babygirl1990, HarryGinnyluv, Lydia Potter, Heather, peace.princess, Weirdi, ashibabi, Nianko, Essenity, Nevra4Evra, Re-Living Tomorrow, LivKnightley, Silver-Sox, Dreaming One, LayDe3 tR1n1ty, FiReFaIrY14, HappyHarryLover, Hiei's Jaded Dragon, Whisper's Song.

Zekintha: Thanks for your reviews! He doesn't have a love potion, as you may have already realized. And poor you, you can't login all the time...

Venus725: Your reviews are quite amusing to read. Thank you:D And yes, I know what you mean...

SnowHedwig05: Thanks, I'm happy that people don't mind my chapter lengths... even though it keeps changing.

preciousonee: Lol, I'm glad you liked it!

xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: Thank you for your reviews! Glad you enjoy my fic.

Nightmaze: I actually like receiving long reviews. They're fun to read, as long as they're not flames or repeated words...

juliachan: Thanks for taking time to stop by. :D

Karana Bell: Yes, you tend to run out of rude things to write when it comes to insults... and thanks for reviewing.

Halric The Harmless: Angsty? Hmmm, I didn't plan to make her angsty, but if she is, that's fine by me. :D

l3Nxh34r7: Ok. I've updated! Hohoho.

Luna G: Well, I guess it IS quite hard not to write OoC... none of us are Rowling and we don't have her style of writing, do we?

Dreaming One: Oh, thank you for your reviews and ideas. You're a great writer yourself, by the looks of your stories!

Michelle Felton: Thank you for reviewing.

-Hugs and Pocky for all!- Oh, and this chapter, with Ron falling ill and stuff, may seem pointless, but you will see in the next chapter why these events were necessary... -Cackles-


	6. Chapter 6: Draco

Hello, everyone! Again, I loved reading all of your reviews, so keep the comments coming. And if you would like to see a picture of a scene in Chapter 4, go here: h t t p : w w w . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m / d e v i a t i o n / 1 3 8 4 8 7 7 3 /. Just paste it into your browser bar thing, without the spaces, with slashes in appropriate places. :D

I'm sorry if you don't like having people other than Draco and Hermione's POVs. I just thought it might be interesting to see what everyone else is thinking. If you don't mind, then that's great. Hehe!

& here is the next chapter of...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 6

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DRACO

You know what? Something very strange happened to me today - or in the morning, on my way to Care of Magical Creatures, to be exact.

Granger fell into my arms.

Now, there is just something rather disturbing about that simple little sentence. For one, there's the 'Granger fell' bit. What had she been doing following me, anyway? Was she trying to hex me? I didn't do anything to her at breakfast.

Maybe it was the pumpkin juice that I spilled on her last night? Nah, she can't be still thinking about that. Of course, the only other thing could be that she had fallen for me and started trying to get close to me. But somehow, I have a hard time picturing Hermione Granger doing that - just as hard as it was to imagine Pansy not after me.

Then there's the 'into my arms' part. Why on earth hadn't I let her fall to her death and crack her head open on the floor? I'm just getting too damn soft for my own good these days. Maybe it was a reflex - when you see a girl falling at you, about to send you sprawling onto the ground and get a concussion, you reach out to steady her so you don't get brain damage.

Whatever the reason was, it was very odd.

"Hey, Draco. Dinner's about to start," Goyle's voice interrupts me from my thoughts. "Let's get going already."

I sigh. "Is food all you care about, you bloody moron?"

Goyle blinks. "Well, I suppose so," he says slowly, unsure of how to answer this kind of question - speak the truth, and annoy me with his answer, or lie and please me?

"Well, go get Crabbe. I'll be there in a while," I snap, and turn back to the book I had been reading before I got lost in my thoughts. I just hope that those two dumb assholes can get to the Great Hall by themselves without getting lost. Then again, there is the smell of food to guide them, if they ever do lose their way.

"OK then," Goyle says happily, and skips off. Trust me, funny as it seems, you do not want to see Goyle skipping. It can give you nightmares for weeks. I, thankfully, have my book to shield my eyes from this and continue reading.

Suddenly, there is a whoosh and a tawny owl soars past my head, its talons scraping my hair. It turns and then drops a letter on my lap. I look up from my book, put it aside and proceed to open the envelope, but the owl gives me a sharp peck on the hand. "Ouch!" I yell in surprise. Glaring at the bird, who returns my gaze with an equally strong glare of its own, I throw a small owl treat at it, which it catches deftly with its beak and swallows. I turn my eyes towards the letter.

_To Mr D. Malfoy:_

_Regretfully, I have just received news that one of our Gryffindor Prefects, who was supposed to be patrolling tonight, has fallen ill and cannot perform his duties. It would please me greatly if you could take his place, and go see Professor McGonagall in the Transfiguration classroom, where you usually see her for Slytherin Prefect duties, at 8:00 pm sharp to be informed of what you have to do as as replacement for Mr R. Weasley._

_If you have any inquiries, or do not wish to take this responsibility tonight because of any arrangements (catch-up classes, etc), please owl me as soon as you receive this letter. If you are fine with this, then I hope Professor McGonagall will see you there, on time._

_Many thanks,_

_A. Dumbledore_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry_

I smirk at the letter. "Weasley, ill? I really don't know how he got to be a Prefect in the first place... Dumbledore's favorites, I suppose."

I fold the letter up and place it into the pocket of my jacket, and as I look up, I notice the tawny owl is still standing there on the table, staring expectantly at me. "What do you want now?" I say impatiently to it, and then slap my forehead. What am I doing, talking to dumb birds? It isn't as if the owl could talk back.

I pick up a fistful of owl treats and fling them out the window. "Shoo," I say loudly. The owl doesn't move. I sigh again, the second time in less than 15 minutes. "I don't have a reply for Dumbledore. Now take that bag of owl treats and go, you bloody annoying ball of feathers."

The owl understands this, and with a happy hoot, grabs the treats with its claws and soars out the window. "Finally got rid of that fucking bird," I mutter to myself, and leave the common room for dinner. I'll need it, since Prefect duties don't finish until about 1:00 am. I don't plan to crawl around the halls with my stomach rumbling, especially not in front of a Gryffindor.

8:00 pm comes much too soon. I had set my watch alarm to that time so I wouldn't be late, and now it is beeping frantically on my right wrist. "Shut up," I snap at it, and realize that again today I have spoken to something that would obviously not reply.

"Is something wrong, darling?" asks Pansy in a sweet voice.

I glare at her. "No! And don't call me 'darling', Parkinson."

She pouts. "Aw! But I like calling you darling, darling!"

I sigh. Conversing with Pansy Parkinson is like speaking to a wall, albeit a very stupid talking one. "Nothing's wrong. I have to go for Prefect duties. Now go away!" I emphasize my point by swatting at her with my Transfiguration notes. Unfortunately, they fly out of my hands and fly everywhere. "Shit!" I swear, and along with that word comes many others that I won't mention.

"Let me," offers Pansy, and to my surprise, instead of stepping on my papers by accident, she collects them silently one by one and hands them to me in an untidy stack. "That's all of them."

I am shocked at this sudden change in behavior, but take it as a good sign. After all, anything is better than her purring 'Draco darling' into my ear every day. "Thank you, Pansy," I say graciously, and place the notes into my bag.

"You're welcome, Draco darling!" she says, sighing lustfully (urgh) and batting her lashes at me. I turn away, disgusted and disappointed - looks like she hasn't changed, after all. After throwing my bag onto my four-poster bed, I hurry down the steps of the dormitory with only my wand and walk towards the Transfiguration classroom.

When I push open the door to the class, I find that Professor McGonagall is already there. I glance quickly at my watch and find that I am a little bit early.

"Hello, Professor," I say pleasantly, and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"You're early, Mr Malfoy," she says, stating the obvious.

I smirk. "Well, that's news to me, Professor," I say sarcastically, and the teacher's mouth thins until it is just a line.

"Mr Malfoy," she snaps. "Just because you are now slightly more popular with the female students, it does not give you an excuse to be rude to your Professors."

I am surprised that even she noticed my change in looks and as a result, an increase in my female fans. I shrug. "Sorry, Professor," I say lightly, and then the door opens. It must be the other Prefect.

When I see who it is, I laugh inwardly. Of course. How could I have not realized? Gryffindor? Prefect? Not Weasley? The only other Gryffindor Prefect is, obviously, Granger. When she sees me, she takes a small step back, but then averts her gaze and glances at McGonagall.

"Is... is he the other Prefect patrolling tonight, Professor?" she asks, her voice shaking a bit. Why, I wouldn't know. Maybe she's nervous about patrolling with the Slytherin sex god. I'm definitely not nervous about doing Prefect duties with the Mudblood bookworm.

"Yes," replies McGonagall, but the look she gives Granger is one that says, _Unfortunately, it is him. I'm sorry about this arrangement, Hermione. _I pretend not to notice. Hey, it's a blow to a man's ego when people exchange looks like that. I don't know what I've done in the past five years to make the famous trio hate me so much. Nothing that I consider hateful, anyway.

What? Why are you giving me that look? I haven't done anything... I think.

"Oh," Granger says a small voice, and sighs.

"Scared to patrol with me?" I sneer. "I don't bite."

She glares at me with that glare of hers that I've grown to find amusing, and almost cute, in the past years.

Gack. What am I saying? The word 'cute' does not belong in Draco Malfoy's dictionary, thank you very much.

"I'm not scared," she says angrily. "There's nothing to be afraid of from a little -" - she glances at McGonagall to make sure she is looking elsewhere, before making a rude gesture at me - "- like you, anyway."

"Ooh, didn't know you had it in you to make rude signs, Granger," I say loudly, and see, to my satisfaction, that the Professor hears and frowns at Granger.

"Rude signs? Really, I'd have expected better from a Prefect, Miss Granger," she scolds. Granger turns pink and looks away. I grin wickedly. "Well, now: your patrolling duties for tonight. You will patrol the corridors around the Hufflepuff common room, to make sure nobody is out wandering about after 9:00 pm. If you catch anyone, you have the authority to deduct house points from the student's house, and make sure they get back to their common rooms as quickly as possible. You do not need to escort them personally as that will waste time.

"Your patrolling time will finish at 1:00 am. Make one last round to make sure no one is around, and then you may go back to your own common rooms and go to bed." Professor McGonagall looks around at us. I've already heard this talk before, many times last year, and I suppress a yawn and nod. Granger, as usual, is listening intently to every word. "Any questions?" We both shake our heads. "Then you may go. Make your way down to the Hufflepuff common room, and do not wander around elsewhere, if you can."

Granger stands up and starts to leave. I follow and we walk down the corridor in silence.

"So where's your boyfriend, Weasley? Ill, is he?"

"Yes, and he's not my boyfriend!" she answers hotly. I smirk in response. She quickens her pace and is soon far ahead of me.

"Hey, don't forget that we have to stick together, or I'll have to report to Dumbledore that you left me behind and shirked your duties," I drawl. She slows down and soon we are walking side by side again.

We reach the Hufflepuff corridors, and begin patrolling. It is pretty bloody boring most of the time, so Granger and I amuse ourselves by trading insults, or discussing Pansy or someone equally brainless to talk about.

As we talk, I realize that maybe Granger isn't as much of the study maniac that I'd expected. To be honest, apart from insults, I had been prepared for a deep discussion about studying and homework that went something like this:

Her: Have you done your Potions homework, Malfoy?

Me: No.

Her: You should, you know! It's due on Friday. Only 2 days away!

Me: Yeah, OK.

Her: I can't wait until next year, when we do our NEWT's. How many do you think you'll get?

Me: Dunno.

Her: I bet I'll get good marks for everything! What do you think?

Me: Hum ho. Right-o.

Me: What the- I mean, whatever. (God, that Mudblood is screwing up my brain with her boring talking...)

This was much more interesting to converse about than lessons or our latest assignment.

Appoximately three long hours of pointless conversations and seven wandering students later, I glance at my watch and notice that it is already 12:40 am. "Time just flies when you're having fun," I say sarcastically.

"Ha. Ha. Yes, you're right," she says in a forced voice. "If you count patrolling with stupid Malfoy as fun," she adds in a small voice, though not so small so that I couldn't overhear.

"I heard that," I say.

"You were meant to," she grins back. "Let's just finish our patrolling for tonight. I'll be glad to be rid of you, Malfoy."

"Sure. Can't wait to get your ugly mug out of my sight, too."

The two of us stop and glare daggers at each other. We seem to be doing this a lot lately.

As we proceed to do our last round, we pass by the Hufflepuff common room. Since we have finished our duties, Granger doesn't walk past it like she has for the last three hours and instead bends forward to have a look at the entrance.

The door to their common room is covered by a colorful curtain that looks fragile and easy to break into, but when you near it you will realize that it is made with something close to steel, and will only turn to the fabric that it looks like temporarily when you say the password.

"Ingenius," says Granger as she examines the 'curtain'. "I haven't seen anything like this before."

"I wouldn't be surprised, with your feeble Muggle parents," I say, taking the opportunity to provoke her. She's quite pretty when she's angry, you know.

She gives me the furious look I was expecting. "Shut up, Malfoy," she says. "Or I'll do what Moody did and bounce you around the corridors - without turning you into a ferret first."

"Is that a threat, Granger?" I say softly.

"Yeah, it is," she replies in the same tone.

I smile maliciously, which only seems to make her even more angry. "I suppose I should be shivering in fear... filthy Mudblood."

She glares at me. "Just because your dear father is in Azkaban, it doesn't give you an excuse to call people names."

My eyes harden. Stupid Granger. What does she know about my father being in Azkaban? She doesn't know how much he suffers, and though I don't care about him, the embarassment of my family caused by him is great. We were lucky this previous summer, that we didn't have the media swarming all over our lawn. Mother nearly broke down when she heard that Father had been sent to Azkaban for being in league with Voldemort, though I suspect that it was more from shame than love.

"Is that so? And what excuse do you have to talk about my father being in Azkaban?" I say quietly, taking a step towards her with every word, and soon her back is against a wall. Her delicate face is flushed and she flinches as I place my palms on the wall, next to her head.

"What are you doing...!" she starts to say, but I cut her off, putting a finger on her lips. Then, I lean towards her face so that our lips are less than an inch apart, then turn slightly until my mouth is next to her left ear. Quite close to her ear, too.

"Don't ever talk about my Father again. Do you hear me, Granger?" I whisper. She snorts, but doesn't say anything. No response, huh? Looks like I need to take my threatening actions further.

My lips touch her ear, and she gives a funny choking sound. How unusual. Normally, if I did this on any other girl, they would be fucking moaning already like there's no tomorrow. And that usually puts me off. However, Granger isn't that kind of girl, and she doesn't make a sound. "I didn't hear your answer," I whisper, deliberately breathing onto the skin of the curve of her neck. Though that was probably enough provoking, because she squeaks and suddenly pushes me away roughly. I smirk as she whips out her wand and points it at me, her eyes wide with surprise and fury.

"Did you enjoy that, Granger?" I ask, my eyes glittering. Actually, I was quite afraid of what Granger might do with her wand. She is a bloody smartass after all. I don't want to risk ending up with a faceful of green warts or something to that extent.

"You wish," she mutters, putting her wand away, her face cooling now and not as red anymore. Inside, I sigh in relief that she put her weapon away. "You do that to me again, and I'll kill you with my bare hands, I swear. The only reason I'm not hexing you to the middle of next week right now is because I'm a Prefect."

"So you say," I say lightly. "I'm leaving. Say hello to Potty and Weasel for me, and tell Weasel that I hope he stays ill for as long as possible."

"Huh," she frowns. "Whatever, ferret-thing. _Lumos_!"

And then she leaves, walking down the corridors, which are dark except for the lights at the tip of our wands.

_Ferret-thing? _I smirk and head in the opposite direction - down to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room, where I would be able to get some well-deserved sleep.

I think today was quite an eventful day. It's not often when you get to seduce your worst enemy, you know.

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Oooooh! I really hope you like this fic so far. Don't worry, everybody, I can't and don't write very fluffy/soppy stories (though I'm not sure that's a good thing or not). This story will just contain some fluff.

Please tell me what you thought of the little romance-ish bit, and if it was OK. I need feedback for my first 'nearly kissing' event between Draco and Hermione. :D


	7. Chapter 7: Hermione

Well, as you requested - this POV is Hermione's! You'll get to read what she felt about last night. Hehehe!

& lookies here...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 7

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HERMIONE

Oh. My. God.

Oh my God! I cannot believe what has just happened.

Malfoy seduced me. Yes, you read right. Seduced.

Well, actually, it was more threatened than seduced. But still. Not like I fell for it or anything - now don't you go thinking funny ideas, you. Of course I didn't fall for it. Who do you think I am? Pansy? Lavender? Parvati? No no no, I would not fall for Malfoy, never ever, I say!

But it was definitely very shocking, all the same. I knew that the dreading feeling I had in my stomach I had after Ron fell ill wasn't just cramps. I had known that because Ron was sick, that meant a replacement Prefect. And since Dumbledore always rambled on and on about house unity (not that I don't agree with him, but you have to admit that the speech gets boring after a while), I had suspected that it would be a Slytherin replacement. After all, who didn't know that the two houses that needed unity the most was Gryffinder and Slytherin? If you locked two people, one from either of those houses, in a room and came back an hour later, you would probably find them yelling profanities and performing forbidden spells on each other.

And who were the Slytherin Prefects? Parkinson and Malfoy, I think it was. Yes, that's right. Why Dumbledore couldn't have let me patrol with that thicker-than-a-concussed-troll cow instead of the ugly - well, not ugly, but stupider-and-snottier-than-a-snotty-tissue ferret, was beyond me.

I suppose that if I had to spend three hours with Pansy, I probably would have been in for a three-hour talk about Malfoy. Handsome Malfoy, sexy Malfoy -

Seductive Malfoy...

Urgh!!!

Just thinking about last night's patrol makes me shiver in horror. I still can't believe Malfoy had actually backed me against a wall and nearly kissed me.

Yuck!

"Are you OK, 'Mione?" someone asks. "You have this odd glazed look on your face..."

I snap out of my thinking and smile at Harry. "Nothing's wrong, Harry. I'm fine."

"If you say so," he says. "Don't worry, Ron should be OK now." He pats me comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Right," I say, rubbing my eyes. It is the morning after Ron collapsed from his allergy of the wood sprite pollen, and because Madam Pomfrey had said we could come and take him back to the castle today, here we are. We stop outside the Hospital Wing and I knock on the door. After a few seconds, Madam Pomfrey opens it and stares at us.

"Ah! You two. Mr Weasley's friends, am I right?"

Harry nods. I suppress a yawn. I had tossed and turned in my bed until quite late last night - or rather, very early this morning, thinking about Malfoy and coming up with a new scheme to hurt him. I have one in mind now. It's in my pocket, on another sheet of my diary paper.

_--- Plan 2: Break some of Malfoy's bones, hohoho._

_When: When he is not in his common room or in a class._

_Why: For doing... doing what he did last night to me._

_How: Will need Peeves' help for this task. Need him to carry something heavy and bang it into Malfoy. Not too hard, though - don't want to kill him. Yet._

I cackle as I imagine the scene: Malfoy, screaming and clutching a broken limb, while Peeves blows a raspberry at him and zooms off.

Suddenly I am aware that Harry and Madam Pomfrey are looking at me with odd expressions. "Are you alright, Miss Granger?" she asks. I nod quickly, cursing silently. How could I have become immersed in my thoughts again, in front of others? If I continue doing this, my reputation will be ruined. Oh, the shame.

When Madam is gone to wake Ron, Harry turns to me. "Were you thinking about another plan to kill Malfoy back there?" he whispers.

"Well... yes," I admit grudgingly. "Last night, he- I mean, I need to get back at him for something."

Harry raises an eyebrow. "Did he give you a hard time while you were patrolling last night?" he asks, a vicious edge in his voice. "Because if he did, then you can count on me and Ron to avenge you."

I laugh. "No, thank you very much, Harry. That's why I'm doing this list. I want to get rid of him myself."

"Oh," he says, looking a bit frightened. "Just don't get too violent, Hermione. We don't want our best friend to become a mad ax-woman or something."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine," I say lightly. Mad ax-woman, indeed!

A minute later, Madam Pomfrey comes back with Ron, who looks tired but happy to see us. After we leave the Hospital Wing, Ron tells us what happened to him when he collapsed.

"... I suddenly felt really dizzy, and I think I started repeating things." Harry and I exchange glances, smiling as we remember how Ron was going on about washing my top. Which reminds me, I have to get to that soon. "And then I suddenly blacked out. It was scary - I thought I was dying or something."

"How was your time in the Hospital Wing?" I ask.

"It was OK... I mean, Madam Pomfrey was nice and all, but mainly I just slept and she gave me some potions to drink last night. That's about it," he replies, shrugging.

"That's good to hear," Harry says, relieved. "I thought you were done for. You were practically foaming at the mouth yesterday when we took you here."

Ron wipes his mouth absently. "No, I'm fine now."

Herbology is next, and we walk slowly towards the Greenhouse. "Will you be alright for Herbology, with all the plants and stuff? You won't faint again, will you?" Harry asks.

"Hey, I'm not that weak," complains Ron. "And anyway, Madam Pomfrey said I would be fine for Herbology."

We are studying in Greenhouse 3 today. Several dangerous-looking plants with sharp teeth sticking out everywhere line the furthest wall, and Professor Sprout has set up the task today far away from them. I am glad; I don't want to miss seeing Malfoy getting hit by Peeves, though if I do go to the Hospital Wing, I'll know if he got hurt or not.

"Today, students, we are brewing Mandrake Potions," Sprout declares to the class once all the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs have arrived. "Does anyone know what the potions are used for?"

Of course I know. Even if I didn't read so many books, I would have known, because the potion had been used on me in my second year. I raise my hand promptly. Nobody looks surprised at this. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Mandrake Potion is used to cure petrified victims," I say. "Also it can be used to revive those who have heard a baby Mandrake's cries. However, it can be harmful to a completely healthy person, because of the special bacteria in it."

"Correct. 10 points to Gryffindor," the Professor says happily. "Though the potion will not do anything but make the healthy drinker comatose for a few days - it will not make them ill or kill them.

"Today we will be cutting the leaves of the adult Mandrakes and putting them into a tray. Put on your earmuffs, and take them off only when I tell you. Adult Mandrakes don't need to be taken out of the soil for their cries to be dangerous."

We fight for the earmuffs that aren't fluffy and pink, as usual, and watch raptly as Professor Sprout lifts the thick glass casing of the tank that holds the Mandrakes. As soon as she does so, all the plants around the Greenhouse curl up into a ball; even the sharp-toothed ones.

Thoughts begin to drift together in my head as I watch. Mandrake Potion... lethal... Malfoy... drink...

The rest of the lesson passes in a blur. All through Charms, which is after Herbology, I can't concentrate and keep thinking about how I could use the Mandrake Potion on Malfoy. It would only make him comatose, as Sprout had said. He wouldn't die or anything.

After lunch, we have about half an hour's break. I had told Peeves that this would be a good time to do his deed, so I forgot about the Mandrake Potion idea and instead thought about the plan in hand.

About 20 minutes later, I start to grow frustrated that nothing seems to have happened yet. What is Peeves doing right now? I had pretended to be the Bloody Baron when I asked him this morning (I borrowed Harry's invisibility cloak), so he shouldn't ignore my request. I stand up. "I'm going to the toilet," I lie. I feel bad about lying to my friends, but I have to check on Peeves and Malfoy. "Be back in a mo'."

"Sure," says Harry, and Ron nods. Neither of them look suspicious, and so I sprint off.

After asking around, I discover that Peeves was last seen carrying a large chandelier towards the hallway near the DADA class. _He must be going to find Malfoy,_ I think, grinning. I head in that direction, just to make sure.

When I reach the hallway, I find that Malfoy is walking with Pansy from the direction of the Transfiguration classroom. _Slytherin Prefect duties?_ I wonder, and walk forward nonchalantly, the picture of innocence. All I need is a few flowers in my hair. When I approach the two, Malfoy smirks at me, and I roll my eyes. "Mudblood," he says. I suppose this is his way of greeting.

"Ferret," I say back. He stops, and glares at me, ignoring Pansy who is tugging on his arm and sending me death glares. I guess that is her way of supporting Malfoy.

Suddenly, I hear a cackle, and Peeves suddenly materializes behind Malfoy, carrying the chandelier. Just like what people said. My eyes widen, and Malfoy looks confused at what I am staring at over his shoulder. He starts to turn, but not before the chandelier smashes into his back and sends him sprawling onto the ground - on top of me.

"Hehehe!" Peeves grins wickedly. "Sorry about that, Malfoy! 'Twas an unfortunate accident, you see." And with another cackle, he speeds off, leaving the remains of the chandelier in a broken pile next us.

Now that Peeves is gone, there is just one more problem to solve - Malfoy. I am pinned to the ground, underneath him, and I attempt to push him off.

"Get off of me!" I hiss.

"Can't," he replies, a pained expression on his face. "I think my back is broken..."

Quite a crowd has gather around us now, though they don't come too close because it seems that whenever they try, candles start throwing themselves at the crowd. Bewitched? Who knows.

"I don't care!" I say in a low voice. "Just get yourself off me. I don't care if it means breaking your back even more."

He smirks again. Looks like he's not in as much pain as he looks like he is. "Don't tell me you don't like being in this position," he whispers. The crowd is beginning to giggle and the girls seem to be making envious faces at me. Looks like most of them would love to change places with me right now. I sigh.

We are in a rather awkward position. Malfoy's arms are leaning on mine, rather forcefully, and his head is lying on my shoulder, with the top of his head under my chin. My legs are trapped because both his legs are on the outer side of mine. My only hope of getting away is to shove him over - which might snap his spine - or wait for a teacher to get him off.

"Where are the teachers when you need them?" I moan after about ten minutes of torture. "I'm waiting another five minutes - if they don't come, then I'm going to throw you over myself."

"As if you can," Malfoy sneers, challenge in his voice.

I stare at him. "Is your back really even hurt?" I ask. As much as I hate him, I don't really want to cause him to become paralyzed.

"Why don't you find out?" he answers, smirking.

"Why don't you at least try to get off me, if your back isn't broken?" I snap. I want to cross my arms in frustration, but I can't since I'm stuck in this position. I give him a hard shove, but fail to move him much except make his head fall to one side, so that the top of his head is now level with my nose and his face is facing the floor.

"Ouch," he complains. "Try to be gentle, please, Granger."

I snort. Gentle? If it were anyone else, I would probably attempt to gently push them over, but since it's Malfoy, I decide not to bother. I hear Pansy's angry voice in the crowd, telling me not to hurt her "Draco darling".

I grin. " 'Draco darling', is it?"

"Shut up," he says rudely. "Ignore Parkinson - she's a master of ridiculous names."

In spite of the circumstances, I laugh. He glares at me, and makes his attempt to get off me. Supporting himself with the hand that is on the floor, he tries to push himself off me with his other hand by placing it on my shoulder - and it lands on my chest. My eyes widen, and he looks surprised. "What?" he says, annoyed at my expression. Then he realizes where his hand is and he pales, if that's possible for him.

"You- you pervert!!!" I scream, slapping his face. The impact throws him off balance and he falls to the side. The crowd goes ooh and aah, and many girls come rushing to Malfoy's aid as he lays there, groaning pathetically. I stand up quickly, and brush myself off. "Urk," I mutter under my breath. I had never thought that he would be the groping kind.

Well, it had been an accident. He didn't even know where his hand was until the look on my face told him.

Slowly, I glance back at him. He catches my eye and gives an apologetic look.

What? Malfoy, apologetic? I doubt it. When I blink, the look on his face is the familiar smirk again. I shake my head as Professor Anderson - DADA teacher - rushes towards him and conjures up a stretcher. Then, she walks away, the stretcher floating lazily behind her.

"Phew," I say, smiling to myself as I head back towards where I left Harry and Ron. "A job well done."

There was just that hand-on-chest bit that I didn't like. And of course, the whole being-pinned-underneath-the-Slytherin-sex-god thing. Gark...

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Don't worry, people, it was just an accident. :D I would never make Draco the perverse groping kind! Nuuuu! Please review, they keep me going. And of course, the more reviews, the faster the update, ne?


	8. Chapter 8: Ginny

Wow! I can hardly believe that it's chapter eight already. Thank you, everyone, for over 100 reviews. -Hug-

& onto...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 8

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GINNY

Something very weird has happened this year.

Draco Malfoy has become hot.

Now that's something you don't see everyday. I mean, sure, Malfoy wasn't ugly last year. But he wasn't exactly drop-dead-gorgeous, either. He was just a little better than average when it came to looks - I'd say that he was about as good-looking as Harry, maybe, but in a different way. Harry was more cute good looking, whereas Malfoy was evil good-looking. But of course, Harry also happened to be a nice guy, not particularly sensitive when it came to girls, but a good bloke nonetheless. And there was the fact that Harry Potter was the famous 'Boy-Who-Lived'. So Malfoy couldn't really compare.

But this year... as soon as he stepped off the train and arrived in the Great Hall for the feast - bam, the girls are all over him. The Slytherin girls, anyway. The rest of us had too much dignity to be 'all over' Malfoy. And I had Harry. So the most we could do was gawk.

I sure hope Harry didn't see me staring at Malfoy. I would die if Harry, of all people, caught me looking at his worst enemy.

But of course, Parvati and Lavender have no such restrictions. They stare and giggle so much that it almost disgusts me. Sometimes I wonder if the Sorting Hat made a mistake in putting those two into Gryffindor. Most of the time they act like Slytherin girls.

"Omigod, Ginny! Have you seen Draco yet?" Parvati had gushed as we headed towards our dormitories after the train ride and feast. "He is, like, so smokin' hot!"

"I wouldn't mind having him to myself for a night, if you know what I mean," Lavender had purred, giggling with her friend.

"I know exactly what you mean. Now please, I want to get some sleep. Goodnight!" And I closed the door, sighing and shaking my head. Teenage girls these days.

Another weird thing is, Hermione doesn't seem the least affected by Malfoy's appearance. Everytime she passes him, she's not blushing like pretty much all the girls. She even keeps up her habit of insulting him whenever possible, whereas most girls, who used to do the same, has now suddenly run out of insults and just simpers at him.

The strangest thing that I heard from Ron and Harry, however, is that Hermione is apparently planning to kill Malfoy. What the hell! Has she gone out of her mind? I suspect that the boys were exaggerating a bit when they told me, but still... trying to kill someone? That's totally unlike Hermione. But then again, the person in question is Draco Malfoy, AKA the Slytherin sex god, and Harry's worst enemy here at Hogwarts. The very person who makes Dudley sound thoughtful and kind. As if that were possible.

And so, now I'm here in the crowd, past the Transfiguration classroom. Staring at the spectacle before me.

Malfoy, lying on top of Hermione, both of them in rather awkward positions. Draco's back looks like it's hurt, and Hermione has a funny expression on her face; as if she's enjoying this, but is hating herself for enjoying it. And there's a sprinkle of disgust on her face, too. Malfoy just looks like he's in pain.

In the few moments that I've been here, I've been told several versions as to what happened. One blond girl told me that Draco had passed Hermione in the corridors, and then he suddenly jumped on her and tried to tear her clothes off. Somehow, I find that unlikely, and I left the girl to fantasize by herself. Another boy, a third-year, I think, told me that a possessed suit of armor tried to kill Hermione and Draco leaped over her to protect her, hence the broken back. I dismissed that idea as well. Considering how much Hermione and Malfoy hate each other, I thought it was rather unlikely that he would save her. It was easier to imagine him laughing at the sidelines as the suit of armor tried to hack Hermione into bits. Not a particularly nice thought, and neither versions explained the smashed chandelier that is beside their feet.

The most acceptable theory of why the two were on the floor was that Peeves had hit Malfoy with the chandelier, breaking it and Malfoy's back at the same time. Hermione had been in front of him, walking, and he had fell onto her. This was told to me by a serious-looking seventh year.

Suddenly, Hermione shrieks and slaps the poor boy with the broken back. He rolls into a wall and groans in agony. Hermione stands, dusts herself off, and, ignoring Malfoy, grabs her bag and pushes through the crowd. When she sees me, her eyes widen. She hurries towards me and drags me around the corner. I notice that the girls in the crowd all rush towards Draco as she leaves.

"How long have you been watching?" she asks when we stop walking, a tinge of embarassment in her voice.

"Oh, for about two minutes? Not very long. I was on my way to Potions." I pat her on the shoulder. "Don't worry. You two didn't look very dodgy." _Yeah, not dodgy as in him-lying-on-top-of-you not dodgy._

She snorts. "That's not what I'm worried about! The whole crowd saw us lying there. I'm not to concerned about what I looked like. But..." she looks around, and the leans in a whispers: "Did you, um, see anything before I slapped him away?"

I think for a moment. I did see Malfoy trying to move around and supporting himself to get up, but nothing else. I shake my head. "Nope," I say truthfully. Hermione sighs in relief. "Why? Did something actually happen between you two?" I ask, grinning slyly. "Oh, Hermione. You disappoint me. At least pick a better spot for it next time."

She flushes and glares at me. "Nothing happened! I was just asking a outsider as to what it looked like."

"I thought you didn't care about what it looked like," I ask, confused.

She shakes her head. "Never mind. I have to go find Ron and Harry."

"Yeah, they were looking for you. You'd better go."

Hermione nods. "OK. Bye, Ginny!"

"Bye," I say as she disappears around the corner. I wonder what did happen. Looks like Hermione's not going to tell me, so I'll have to pry the information from someone else.

A few days later, when Malfoy has fully recovered from his back and is strutting about like normal, I walk into the common room after dinner and overhear Harry, Ron and Hermione talking in low voices about something. I slowly move closer, until I can hear snatches of conversation.

"- looks like he's healed -"

"- what will you do now-"

"- next plan, duh -"

"- sure he won't get revenge-"

"- ...enge? I seriously doubt it -"

"- never know -"

"- oh, relax, Ron -"

"- ...lax? Here you are, plotting to injure Malfoy again, and you're telling me to re -"

"- Ron, Hermione's not the smartest witch in school for nothing -"

"- ...anks, Harry -"

"- ...elcome -"

"- so you're actually going to pour Mandrake Potion into his pumpkin -"

"- shhhh! Do you have to say it so loud-"

"- sorry, but are you really going to do it-"

"- might as well -"

"- might as well! This is serious, we're talking about putting Malfoy into a coma here -"

"Ahem!" I clear my throat. I've heard enough. What is all this about Mandrake Potions and putting Malfoys into comas? The three look up, startled, guilty looks on their faces.

"Oh, um, hi Ginny!" says Harry, a tad too loudly. An unnatural smile has plastered itself onto his face.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask, suspicious.

Ron rolls his eyes. "Don't be so nosy, Gin. Go away."

"That's not going to work on me," I snap. I haven't forgotten the last time he shooed me away when Harry had wanted to tell the two something private. About You-Know-Who, most likely. Not that it was necessary - after all, who had been the one posessed by him in their first year? "Why are you going to put Mandrake Potion into Draco Malfoy's drink?"

Hermione glares at Ron. "I told you not to talk so loudly!" she hisses, and then turns back to me, smiling. "Oh, we were just kidding. You know how much we love to joke about things like that. After all, we do hate him."

I fold my arms, signalling that I am not moving until they give me the truth. Ron knows this posture and sighs. "Hermione - she's not going to leave."

"Ginny... please," Harry says, his eyes soft. "We don't want to drag you into this." I nearly melt here and now, but my desire for an answer stops me.

"No. I don't care. Just tell me! You guys always hide things from me. It's not fair! I'm already 15. Only a year younger than you!" I stomp my foot. "Why do you still think you're so much bigger than me, and keep me out of things?"

Hermione sighs and rubs her temples. "Alright, Ginny. You win. I'll tell you what we're doing..."

"Are you sure, 'Mione?" Harry asks, worried. "Are you sure you want to give Ginny such a burden to carry?"

"Stop making it sound like it's something really serious! I'm only trying to keep Malfoy in the Hospital Wing, that's all." Hermione rubs her eyes wearily. "The way you two are putting it... it sounds like I'm murdering people or something."

I stare at her. "Keep Malfoy in the Hospital Wing? What do you mean?"

The explanation that I hear after that is the most outrageous plan that I've ever heard, but somehow it makes a bit of sense. Getting rid of Malfoy for a few days each time, by injuring him, would let us relax and not worry about Hagrid being sacked or us being jinxed randomly in the corridors. But the fact that it had been Hermione - easygoing, bookworm Hermione - who thought it all up, was a little unbelievable.

"So you're saying... that Hermione was the one that decided to do this?" I ask slowly, hardly daring to believe my ears.

"Yup. The one right here," says Ron, pointing at Hermione, who grins.

"It may sound a bit farfetched, but he does deserve it," she says, shrugging.

"And that case of Peeves smashing the chandelier into Malfoy's back... that was arranged by you as well?"

"Right," she nods. "I borrowed Harry's invisibility cloak and managed to persuade Peeves to do it by acting as the Bloody Baron. You know how he's afraid of the Baron. He's the only person - or ghost - that Peeves actually obeys all the time."

I sit heavily into a nearby armchair. "Wow... but I must say, the plan was quite ingenius."

"This is the second plan, Hermione failed the fir- ouch!" Ron yelps as Hermione smacked him on the back of the head.

"Shut up! I told you not to talk about that, Ron!" she snaps, glaring. Ron bows apologetically.

"Why are you so uptight about that time, anyway?" Harry asks curiously. Hermione switches her laser glare to him and he shrinks. "Never mind..."

"Well, I'm going to bed," Hermione says, smiling slightly at us, whilst giving Ron a funny look that I can't quite comprehend. "See you tomorrow! And Ginny - don't concern yourself with this. Leave it to us!" And with a last wave, she disappears into the sixth-year girls' dormitory.

Harry, Ron and I sit there for a while in silence. Then Ron hurriedly makes an excuse - something lame about how our mom told him to have a early bedtime - and leaves. So now it's just Harry and me. Alone in the common room again. I try to think of something interesting to say, but my mind has decided to pick this moment to grow blank.

"So... what do you think?"

I blink. "Think about what?"

"The plans, of course."

"Oh..." I could shoot myself right now. What a stupid question! It's obvious what Harry had asked about. "Um... weird?"

Harry nods. "Yeah... weird is right. Though I do hope Hermione succeeds. It's been nice without Malfoy stalking around these last few days. And we owe it all to Hermione."

"Right," I agree. _Gosh, isn't there anything better to say than that? _A rather uncomfortable silence ensues.

"So... see you tomorrow as well, Ginny," he says awkwardly, and stands. I quickly do the same.

"Oh! Um, alright. I have to go, too." As I walk past him, his hand brushes mine, and I start. I turn slightly and give him a questioning look.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. I smile and head into my dormitory, where I change into my nightgown and flop onto my bed, thinking about tonight. Sorry? Why on earth was he sorry? If he didn't do that by accident... then that brush of the hand could have meant a lot of things. I smile to myself, and fall asleep hugging the pillow hopefully.

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A rather boring chapter in terms of HGDM... but a hint of Ginny/Harry! Hehehe. Don't worry, a very exciting chapter is coming up next! Or at least I hope it's exciting. :D


	9. Chapter 9: Draco

I did promise there would be some excitement this chapter, right? O.o Ok, here it is then. :D Thank you to all the reviewers! -Hands out Pocky-

Regarding the past comments of some readers:

Zekintha: Quote 1: Basically, what Hermione was trying to say to Ron was 'get out of here fast and give those two some time alone'. Quote 2: I suppose you're right... I've changed it now. Thanks!

MysteryMadeMe: Aww, I'm so sorry your fic got deleted! One of my old stories were deleted too. Wahhhhh!

fireball11234: Wow, my first ever flame. :P I doubt you're reading this, but let me say this: If you think this is the 'fuckiest absolute worst' fanfiction you've ever read, then I don't see why you bothered to flame me for it. Of course, this might be so that you can tell me how much you hate this, but really, if you don't like a story then just don't read it. Simple as that.

& onto...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 9

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DRACO

That stupid fucking Mudblood. If she hadn't slapped me, then I might have only needed to spend two nights in the Hospital Wing. But because of that misplacement of my hand she had hit me harder than anyone ever before, and I think something in my back snapped as I fell. So two nights ended up being four. And I couldn't even move - I stared blankly at the ceiling the whole time. And I don't think I need to tell you that the ceiling wasn't exactly very interesting.

Well, she always did like to slap me. Why - I wouldn't know.

"Are you alright now, Draco darling?"

I think you know who this is.

"I'm fine." I sip the mug of coffee in my hand and flip through the Transfiguration textbook, looking for references to the spell _Pyrifico,_ which sets the desired object aflame.

"Would you like a back massage?" she asks sweetly - or as sweetly as a Parkinson can be.

I choke on my drink and turn to glare at her. "Thanks, but no thanks."

I've had experience with her back 'massages' (which is more like torture than a massage). What she does is make you lie flat on your stomach, and then she does this huge karate-chop style movement into the middle of your back. If you haven't had enough calcium, then that chop would be more than likely to send you to the Hospital Wing. Thankfully my Quidditch practices helped my muscles, but even so I was just able to take the strain.

After that, she does several more chops along your back and then sits on you. Pansy isn't exactly overweight, but she's not skinny either, and her weight is probably enough to make you shriek for help. Of course, by the time somebody comes, she's already done several more moves on you, and you'll be either gasping for breath or unconscious.

Pansy pouts, apparently unaware of how much agony her massages have caused me. "Awww! But you look like you need it. After all, your back just healed."

"Exactly why I don't want a massage," I snap. "Go do it to someone else."

Pansy simpers at me before jumping up to leave. "Good idea, darling! I'll help someone else relieve their stress."

I feel sorry for whoever gets her treatment.

Since it is a Sunday, there's no classes to go to. I decide that some flying might help me to relax, since my neck is starting to ache from bending down to write my essay for so long. I collect my books and throw it onto my four-poster bed before running a hand through my hair absently, and heading outside with my broom in my hand.

The cool wind is welcoming on my face after being in the stuffy common room all morning. Honestly, if they didn't prepare such great meals, I would have demanded that my father throw out all those bloody house elves a long time ago. Sure, they make your bed and tidy up your rubbish, but they just don't seem to understand that you don't light a fire the size of the one in the Slytherin common room in the middle of summer. I like warmth, but that is just too much. I don't want to boil to death in front of a fireplace. That would be an embarrassing way to die for a Malfoy.

I walk slowly towards the Quidditch Pitch. When I am outside of Madam Hooch's office, I knock on the door. Her face peers out at me. "Yes?"

"Can I fly around a bit on the court?" I ask, giving her my best smile.

She nods. "Alright. Just don't do anything dangerous. I'll be watching you."

"Of course," I say, and mount my Nimbus Two Thousand and One. I would have asked father that he buy me a better broom, but since he's in Azkaban there's not much he can do. So I have to make do with this.

I do a few quick laps of the Quidditch field, enjoying the feeling of the wind rushing past my ears, and when I come down I spot someone watching. I nudge the broom in their direction, and when I get close, I find that it is Granger. What a surprise. I land next to her and get off the broomstick. She claps grudgingly.

"I have to say, Malfoy, even though you lack anything vaguely resembling a brain and guts, you sure can fly. I guess it makes up for your pathetic spoonful of brain cells." She smirks, and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Yes, and I suppose your know-it-all attitude makes up for your lack of flying skills," I answer smoothly. I don't think she's ever touched a broomstick again after that first lesson in our first year.

She grinds her teeth, already starting to get angry. "How do you know? Anyway, at least I'm not a brainless ferret," she fires back.

"At least I'm not a filthy Mudblood," I sneer.

"You're a real pain in the butt," she mutters. "And I mean a real pain."

"Then why did you come to watch the big pain in your butt fly?" I ask nonchalantly.

She shrugs. "I was bored, I guess. Nothing better to do."

I feign a hurt look. "Oh, you bruise me. So I'm the last resort when you're bored out of your wits."

Granger laughs. "That's right."

"Well, I'm sorry. Your last resort is now going back to his common room," I say lightly, and stride away with my broom over my shoulder.

That was unexpected. I mean, Granger and I actually had a civil conversation that wasn't completely made up of insults and sarcastic remarks. "There's a first time for everything," I mutter to myself as I approach the castle.

Later that day, there is an uproar around the Gryffindor common room. As I walk past the painting of the Fat Lady to go to dinner, someone beyond it screams and there is the sound of a struggle. A few moments later, a bedraggled Ron Weasley climbs out, glancing behind him fearfully. I notice that he is limping a bit. Oh well. Not my business. The Weasel probably tried to get some girl into bed and got beaten up for it. I shrug and continue to the Great Hall.

After the meal, Crabbe and Goyle follow me as we head back towards the common room.

"Did you hear about what happened to Weasley, Draco?" Goyle asks as we leave the bright lights of the Great Hall and enter the dim corridors of the dungeons. I stop when I hear the question, and recall what I saw earlier today.

"No. But I did see Weasel coming out of the common room. He didn't look too good."

"He probably didn't, because apparently Pansy forced the password from some first-year and entered the Gryffindor common room. She tried to give Weasley a back massage," Crabbe explains.

"She did what!" If I was drinking a cup of pumpkin juice right now, I would have spat it all out. If I was riding a broomstick right now, I would have fallen off. If I - well, you get the picture. I am amazed, but secretly I congratulate Pansy for choosing such a good victim. After all, Weasel deserves it.

"Pansy tried to give Weasley a -"

"I know what you said, you idiot," I snap. "It's a way of saying."

Goyle shrinks. "Oh."

"So how did you find out?" I ask. I hadn't heard anything about it since I last saw Weasley.

"Well, after you left for dinner early, Pansy came rushing back and screamed how Weasley has a nice butt for the whole common room to hear."

I cough. Weasley, nice butt? Somehow I don't think Pansy stopped at just giving him a massage. She probably started groping him as well. I shudder, and can't help but feel slightly sorry for the boy, as much as I hate him.

Suddenly, there is the sound of someone screaming my name. I look past Crabbe's shoulder and see, with some amusement, that it is no other than the Mudblood herself.

"Malfoy! Get your ass here right now!" she shrieks, her eyes wild and her hair flying behind her.

I raise a hand lazily. "Over here, ma'am. Nice seeing you again."

She spots me and marches angrily in my direction, stopping a few inches in front of me. "Why did you send Pansy to do that to Ron? And how did you get the password?" she asks menacingly, leaning in so that her face was centimetres from mine.

"I didn't tell Pansy to do that massage to Weasel. And she got the password herself."

Granger snorts. "That cow, getting the password to the Gryffindor common room? That's about as likely as you shoving your broomstick up your ass."

_A bit obsessed with my ass, are we? _I think, smirking. Normally Granger doesn't say anything even remotely rude, so she must be very angry to be keep repeating the word 'ass'. "Well, she got the password. And I didn't even shove my broom up my ass."

Her eyes grow furious. She grabs the front of my black t-shirt with a skull on it and glares at me. "I know you did this! So stop lying!" she shouts. "Who else can tell Pansy to do something like this? Ron nearly suffered the same fate as you because of that stupid cow!"

"And what happens to Weasley is no concern of mine," I snarl, grabbing her wrists. "Get your hands off my shirt. I don't want a Mudblood making them dirty."

She now looks ready to explode. "You-you BASTARD!" she screams and kicks me hard just under the kneecap. Ouch. That hurts. Inside, I cheer for the fact that I made Granger say the word 'bastard'. This is probably the first time in her whole life she's said that, whereas I have been uttering rude phrases all my life, since I was old enough to repeat things that I hear.

"Hey! Don't touch Draco, you stupid girl!" Crabbe and Goyle shout simultaneously. If I wasn't in such pain right now, I would have laughed out loud.

But what happens next doesn't make me laugh at all. Those two bloody dumbasses (I swear, if I didn't know better, I would have thought that Crabbe and Goyle had trolls for ancestors), each wanting to punch Granger, push each other out of the way and instead of hurting her, all they do is push her hard towards me.

And what follows is that her face, already close to mine, falls even closer. I start to push her away, but our eyes widen as Goyle accidentally gets shoved right into Granger's back and her lips land on mine.

There is silence as the minds of people close by, click. Then they realize what has happened and start staring. Crabbe and Goyle look like fish out of water with their mouths hanging open.

What takes up most of my view, however, is Granger's face. Her eyes stare into mine. I stare back. Suddenly she tries to scream when our mouths are still touching and instead just opens her mouth, forcing mine open and the same time and makes a muffled 'eeeewwrgh!' noise, sounding halfway between 'ewww' and 'aaaaaargh!'. Unfortunately, this makes it look as if we are snogging, which is not a good thing at all.

Now people are beginning to whisper among themselves. I hear snippets of conversation:

"_Oh my God, what are those two doing?"_

_"- get a room, honestly..."_

_"I'll say..."_

_"Oh no! Does this mean Draco's taken!"_

_"I doubt it... I mean, this IS Hermione Granger kissing him..."_

_"Did we actually see Crabbe and Goyle shoving Hermione onto Draco or did she do it herself?"_

_"Who knows..."_

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My fucking reputation is ruined! All thanks to that stupid Mudblood (again)!

Granger pushes herself away - or rather, slaps my face aside so she is free (my face is beginning to get raw from all that slapping from her), a disgusted look on her face as she wipes her mouth, trying not to spit.

"You... you'll pay for this," she mutters, glaring daggers at Crabbe, Goyle and namely, me. People in the crowd titter as she passes them. "GET LOST! GO AWAY!" I hear her yelling at the crowd as some of the girls pursue her, obviously asking how she managed to do it. I smirk, despite the situation. Watching Hermione Granger always makes me smirk. It's quite odd, really.

Ooops. I meant Mudblood. Not Hermione Granger. Of course, they're the same person, but I really shouldn't start calling her by her first name in my head. It's unhealthy for a Malfoy.

Very unhealthy.

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Heheheh! What did I say about an exciting chapter? XD A kiss should satisfy you guys for a while. Of course, if was an accident, but oh well.

And please... don't kill me if you thought the description for the kiss was bad. It's so hard to describe a kiss with words! O.O


	10. Chapter 10: Ron

Wow! I got a whole bunch of reviews for the previous chapter. :D Thank youuuu to everyone who's supported me so far. -Is very happeh-

Another thank-you section at the end of this chappie. Replies are to people who reviewed chapter 9.

Let's get on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 10

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RON

Well, ever since after Hermione told me to leave Harry and Ginny alone, I've had no idea what's happened between them. Sure, Harry's my best friend, but sometimes hormones can take over any guy. It's just something you can't escape if you are a boy. So I hope he didn't do anything weird to Ginny.

Of course, if he did, she would probably have come crying by now, and Harry would have been slinking around all morning with that guilty look of his. But I haven't seen much of Ginny today, and when I did, she'd seemed pretty bouncy like usual. Harry was normal too, talking animatedly about Quidditch and not asking, instead, how to apologize to a girl or something.

So I am satisfied.

"Pass the marmalade, Hermione," I say through a mouthful of porridge. She rolls her eyes, sighing but complies. I spread the jam onto a piece of toast. Harry looks as if he's glad I didn't shove the toast into my mouth when it was already full.

I wonder why they're giving me those looks. Are my table manners that bad? Nah, they must be just overreacting.

"What's your timetable for today?" asks Hermione.

I shrug. "Dunno. I have a free block before dinner, though. Astronomy tonight."

"Me too," says Harry. "Obviously, since we're in the same class and all."

"Homework?"

I wave a hand. "Nothing to worry about, 'Mione."

"I bet you won't be saying that when the teacher marks it 'T'," she mutters under her breath. "And that's not for 'Terrific', either."

Harry looks genuinely hurt. "You have that little faith in our abilities to complete homework without your help?"

"N-no! Of course not! I just wondered if it might help if I check it or something," she says, flustered.

I pat her on the arm. "We'll be fine. With my help, Harry can get through all of his homework tonight."

"That's what I'm worried about," she mumbles. "Well, good luck on your studies. I'm going to Ancient Runes now." She waves at us as she departs the breakfast table. "See ya!"

"Ancient Runes? I thought she gave that up last year," I say, frowning.

"Apparently not," Harry replies, shrugging. "In any case, let's get going. Our classes start at the same time as hers, you know."

We head off towards the Divination classroom, taught by Firenze the centaur now that Trelawney has been kicked out. As usual, the classroom is covered from wall to wall by creeping vines and leaves. And as usual, the centaur is fashionably late and doesn't arrive until the whole class is here. When he finally does, Parvati and Lavender sigh and stare at him with longing looks on their faces. Sheesh, can't they tell that he's a bloody centaur, not a human?

However... with his white-blond hair and astonishing blue eyes, Firenze actually looks a lot like a certain Slytherin. Of course, minus the lower half of his body and the tail. Maybe that's why the centaur gets sighed at by girls a lot. Though not as much as Malfoy, of course.

After another vague lesson about prophesies, Harry and I move on to DADA with Hermione, then it is lunch, and finally Charms. After that last class, it's time for our free block, and we bid goodbye to Hermione before skipping (literally) back to the common room.

"Ahhhh. Some time to relax. Finally." I sink into a squishy armchair and sigh contently. The warmth of the fire basks over me and I suddenly feel very sleepy. Harry follows my lead and sits in the chair opposite me. A few other Gryffindors, who have the same block off, climb in through the portrait and head straight into their dormitories, no doubt to catch a few extra winks of sleep while they can. "So... how was last night with my little sister, Harry?"

Harry flushes. "It was fine. Nothing happened, so don't go accusing me or anything."

I stretch luxuriously. "Yeah, sure."

"It's true, Ron!"

"Hey, I believe you. And even if something does happen between you and Ginny in the future, I won't be too worried, since you're my best friend and all." I grin at him.

"Ron..." Harry seems a bit lost for words. "Thanks." He beams at me rather soppily.

I laugh. "Don't get all emotional, Harry. It's embarrassing."

He opens his mouth to fire something back at me, but a loud noise near the entrance of the common room cuts him off. And before we can do anything but crane our necks to have a look at what's going on, the portrait swings open and someone rather unexpected comes in.

Pansy Parkinson.

"Oh my God," I whisper. Harry nods, looking equally shocked. How on earth did she manage to get in here? If she knew the password and told everyone, then who knows what the Slytherins might do to us while we're asleep. No one would get any rest, afraid of being hexed while they are in bed.

"Ah! It's Weasley and Potter, isn't it?" The girl brightens, and strides towards us. When she reaches me she grabs my arm and starts to push me onto the ground with my face down. "Let me give you a massage, handsome!"

"Hey...! What are you doing, you cow!" I shout as she sits on my back. "Arggggggghhh!"

She does a big chop in the middle of my back. Something cracks and pain shoots up my spine. "Ouch! Harry! Get her off me!"

He attempts to help, but Pansy just throws him off and continues to pound on my back in what she calls a 'massage'. It is anything but. My back feels ready to fall apart. I can just imagine the spinal bones creaking and snapping apart. I shudder. Not a very comforting thought.

"I'm going to get a teacher! Hang on, Ron," Harry yells, looking frightened. However, I notice the slightest shadow of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth before he turns and runs off. I swear under my breath. He'd better come back soon... or I'll be dead meat if the rumors about Pansy's massages are true.

I try to turn and throw her off, but she is too heavy and I can barely move with her weight on top of me. She changes the direction of her pounding (with much pain for me) so that her hand is now 'massaging' my lower back. Then she suddenly pauses. I heave a sigh of relief, preparing to get up. But she stays where she is. "Oohhh! You have such a nice ass. How come I never noticed? And to think I spent five years in your company... -Giggle-"

Suddenly I have a premonition of what is going to come. I scream and try to throw her off with all my might, but her pounding has made my back as weak as jelly. Whenever I move, something creaks and snaps as if there are rusty gears inside me, and pain enters muscles I never knew I had. But anything is better than having Parkinson's hands over me, if my suspicions are correct...

And they are all over me now. My eyes bulge as she starts groping me and my mouth drops open in shock and disgust. Pansy makes some odd noises. I think she is enjoying this, but I am not. Definitely not! Honestly, you males out there - you wouldn't enjoy this either. Trust me.

Her hands roam around my pelvic area until they reach the place. My eyes must be as wide as dinner plates as she giggles. Now my body is screaming for me to get out of here, and I slowly crawl out from under her, using all the strength I have (which is not much).

"Heeeeey! Handsome, where are you going? I'm not finished with my massage yet," she giggles, reaching for me. I dance out of her reach - or as close to dancing as I can in my state - and make towards the portrait in an almost comically slow limp. I push the painting of the Fat Lady up quickly and climb through, my entire body aching.

As I crawl out to the corridors, I spot Malfoy passing by with an amazed look on his face as he sees me. Argh, damn him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who sent Pansy Parkinson after me. I limp away towards the nearest classroom, determined to get help (what on earth is Harry doing!) and get away from the mad girl behind me. I can still hear her voice faintly; "Rooooooonnnnnn... come back here..."

Going back there is something I will not do, even if my life depends on it.

As I near the Charms classroom, Professor Flitwick sees me. "Mr Weasley! What happened to you?" he asks shrilly, rushing at me. "Let me get you to Madam Pomfrey right away! I really hope you didn't have a fight, young man."

Thankfully, Pomfrey heals me up pretty quickly, but as I leave for dinner, she mutters something about "... second time this week... don't know what the boy's doing these days..." as she closes the door behind me. I shrug, then smile as nothing in my back cracks with the motion, and walk quickly to the Great Hall before I miss dessert.

"What happened to you, Ron?" Hermione squeaks when she spots me. Harry motions towards the seat they'd saved for me and I sit down gratefully. "We couldn't find you! Harry said something about Pansy Parkinson coming into the common room and torturing you."

"That's about right," I say, digging into a steak. I hadn't realized how ravenous I'd been. All that struggling took a lot of energy, I guess. "Let me tell you..."

And so I explained to them the whole story. As we talk and stride back to the dorms, Professor McGonagall appears behind a corner. "Mr Weasley?" she asks sternly. "Please come with me."

I glance at my friends, and shrug nonchalantly as I follow the Professor. We reach her office and she tells me to sit.

"Is it true that Miss Parkinson from Slytherin accessed the Gryffindor common room, and injured you?"

I nod, a bit surprised that McGonagall has already been informed. But then again, she is the head of the house, so a trespassing student would be some news for her.

"Do you have any idea how she gained the password?" the Professor probed. "The Fat Lady said that she didn't force entry, but had the password."

"I have no idea, Professor," I answer truthfully.

We talk for a while longer, and, apparently satisfied, Professor McGonagall sends me back to the common room. "Tell me if anything else happens," she says.

"Alright."

I round the corner and suddenly, Harry comes running up to me. He is panting and his glasses are a big foggy. "Ron! Did you see? Did you hear anything about Hermione?"

I shake my head, a bit confused. "No. Why? Something happened to her?"

Harry looks rueful. "I just heard... that Hermione kissed Malfoy."

There is a bit of silence as the words settle in. "What the..." I gape at him. "...! Bloody hell! Are you sure!"

"Heard it from Ginny. I don't think she'd lie about something like this." Harry grimaces. "Let's just hope it was an accident. Though I'm not sure how you can kiss someone by accident - 'Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else so I just kissed you by mistake.' - sure, that'd go over well."

My head reels from the news. Another big thing that occurred today. What more outrageous things might happen between now and bedtime? I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the last crazy event for today.

Gee, Hermione'd better have a good excuse for this. I doubt that it's part of her 'killing Malfoy' list.

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Thank you to all my reviewers so far:

moonmouse, XXXpinkkitty5467, ITK with a dark side, Cold-eyes-for-you, Supreme Neo slytherin Countess, Cherry Arrow, Best of My Love, Swimming-Gal, Vendethiel, babygirl1990, HarryGinnyluv, Lydia Potter, Heather, , Weirdi, ashibabi, Nianko, Essenity, Nevra4Evra, Re-Living Tomorrow, LivKnightley, Silver-Sox, Dreaming One, LayDe3 tR1n1ty, FiReFaIrY14, HappyHarryLover, Hiei's Jaded Dragon, miarae, rockxonxlupin, pink0614, MysteryMadeMe, NybCR, Zekintha, Ayglea, Artemis, max, xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo, SnowHedwig05, preciousonee, Nightmaze, juliachan, Karana Bell, Halric The Harmless, l3Nxh34r7, Luna G, Michelle Felton, who cares?, Parcheezie, annabanana, hermoninny109, liz, Citrus Rain, Nathonea, Sun Kissed Rose,

Venus725: Thank you. :D

Whisper's Song: Ah, yes. Gossip! I'm sure you know, you Gossip Girl. XD

xputteckx: Glad you enjoyed it.

BrennaM: Oh, Hermione has a lot more up her sleeve. There's still 8 more plans to go... (I can tell this is going to be an epic.)

foxeran: Haha, I have lots of cruel fates for them to come. -Cackles-

Violistobsessionist: Thanks. :D

Cierra: XD

Kat Lupin: Where Hermione will be in contact with... -Smirks as well- You'll find out! Bwahahaha!

mykswiss: Thank you for the Author Alert adding thing!

stasha: Of course I'll write more, I haven't run out of ideas yet. :D

Incarnation: "Brilliant?" -Preens-

Key of F Major: Thanks for the more in-depth review. Yes, I realize now that it might be easier to read if I'd kept it in one POV, but then I wouldn't be able to write about what happens to other characters. Third-person POV might work, but it's a bit late now... and I'm glad I haven't made many errors yet.

jamesismysweetheart: Thanks a lot!

Hey... how come I can't use most of the keyboard symbols in my chapters anymore! O.o That's weird...


	11. Chapter 11: Hermione

Yo, people. :D A lot of you liked the Pansy part, and I'm glad. There might be more about Ron and Pansy...

Jeeesh, school started a week ago. Nooooo! It's so boring and we get tons of homework. -Sighs- I'll try to fit updates between homework, but expect them to be not as often as before.

Reply to reviews:

dracochick: I didn't say that Draco spewed slugs, I said he sprouted slugs. If I remember correctly, there's a scene at the end of book 4 where Harry and the twins both cast hexes on Draco and Co., resulting in little slug/tentacles sprouting from their faces. But maybe I should have put tentacles instead... anyhow, thanks for the comment. -Hug-

Dreaming One: Thanks for all your advice, I basically just did the previous chapter for that scene. I should have added more, I guess... :D

And on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 11

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HERMIONE

Well, I suppose you're wondering why I'm in the Prefects' bathroom, desperately scrubbing my mouth out with my toothbrush.

Let me give you a clue. It's got something to do with Malfoy.

Yes... that complete utter idiot's friends (who are even more idiotic, if that was possible) pushed me into him and made me... um, kiss him. I mean, how stupid can you get? What kind of dumbass, when trying to get someone away from Malfoy, ends up pushing them right into him instead?

Well, I guess Crabbe and Goyle are just that sort of people... I wouldn't be surprised if they won the 'Witch Weekly - The Most Dumb Dumbasses Award' for 10 years straight. Or maybe for their whole lifetime, even.

"Hermione...! Are you in there?"

I turn, toothbrush dangling from my mouth and toothpaste foaming around my lips. "Yersh."

"Is that... Hermione? Sorry if it's not... um..." Ron's voice falters and dies.

"Oh, itsh meh! I'm jusht brushring my teesh right now." I spit the foam and toothbrush out and wipe my mouth hastily on a towel. Automatically my hand reaches for my pack of dental floss. I guess old habits die hard. I was raised by two dentists, after all. Ron will have to wait a while before I open the door.

"'Mione... I need to talk to you for a minute. Will you come out, please?"

"Not now, Ron. I'm busy. I'll come out in a few minutes."

"Are you shaving?"

I nearly spit out the dental floss at his question. Shaving? Who does he think I am? I'm not like Lavender or some people, who grow hair as thick as gorillas on their legs and arms. I'm pretty much hairless... apart from my head, of course. "No, I am not shaving."

"Taking a bath?"

I sigh to myself. "Ron - honestly. Can't you just wait a while without trying to guess what I'm doing?" And I'd have thought it would be obvious. Apart from showering or going toilet, bathrooms are usually used for brushing teeth.

A few minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom smelling like my toothpaste. I follow Ron down the hallway. "So... what were you going to ask?"

He turns, an unusually serious expression on his face. "Hermione... is it true that you... you kissed Malfoy?"

The way he says it, with so much loathing, makes me feel like I'd been slapped in the face. I feel a blush creeping up from my neck. "Um... you heard already...?" I absently fidget with the hem of my top. "Let me explain, Ron - it was an accident..."

He shakes his head. "I believe you. But what were you doing around him, anyway? First I heard about that chandelier thing, now this."

"Look, Ron. This is what happened. Listen, OK?" I sigh and stop walking, leaning against the wall with my arms folded. "I was going to confront Malfoy about the Pansy thing."

Ron's face softens a bit. "Oh, was that it?"

"Yes. Then, well you know Crabbe and Goyle, they're as stupid as a rock, if not stupider. I was pretty much screaming at Malfoy and they got pissed off, and tried to beat me up or something." I turn a bit pink at the memory of what came next. "But... well, let me just say that instead of hurting me, they managed to push me towards that ferret-boy. And the rest is history."

"I see..." He nods, finally understanding the situation I'd been in. "So it was an accident. Well, I believe you, Hermione. Even if you did kiss Malfoy willingly, we would have supported you, however reluctantly."

I smile at him, relieved that he'd understood. "Thanks, Ron. Have I ever told you that I'm really glad to have friends like you, Harry and Ginny?"

Ron blushes. "Don't worry about it." He starts to stride away. "Come on, 'Mione. Let's get going back to the common room, or Filch will have our heads. It's past 9:00pm."

I follow him, grinning, and glad that he was using ''Mione' again, instead of my full first name. That was as close to a nickname I'd ever gotten, unless you count those ridiculous pet names that your parents give you when you're small, like 'Hermy' or 'little angel/princess/cherub', etc.

That night, despite explaining the accident to Ron, I lay awake in bed for a long time before finally drifting off to a troubled sleep. I'm sure you know what was occupying my mind.

The next week passes quite quickly and peacefully. There were no fights between us and Malfoy (very unusual) and I didn't have time to think of anymore schemes because of my tight homework schedule. But I promised myself that I wasn't going to stop here when I'd already gotten this far.

Saturday morning comes. I wake up with a loud yawn, glance at my watch, which says 7:03 am, and get up. I remember the forgotten top in my trunk and decide to get it washed while I'm up so early. None of the other girls are moving in their beds, and the sound of snoring recedes as I step out of the dormitory without changing. I figure nobody would be up this early, and I'm too lazy to get changed out of my nightgown.

At the side of the lake, I conjure up a small washtub and some Frend (a Muggle brand of cleaning product, used especially for lifting stains). After thinking a moment, a scrubbing brush is added to the inventory of items. I sit down heavily next to the lake and dip the washtub into the icy water, wincing as the coldness numbs my hand. There is no sign of the giant squid. I would have liked its company, even though it isn't exactly human.

Dunking the soiled top into the water, I spray the wet cloth with Frend and scrub it as hard as I can. After a while my hands start to get tired and I lay back on the dry grass, sunshine starting to find its way onto my face. I sigh in content and close my eyes.

"Turning into a washing maid, are we?"

My eyes snap open and I sit up immediately. There is no mistaking that lazy drawl. My heart skips a beat, whether it is from hate or shock, I don't know. "Malfoy?" I ask incredulously. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Same reason as you - oh wait, maybe not exactly the same reason," he smirks. "I like my morning walks."

I snort. "Huh. Really."

His smirk grows wider. "And if you're going to wash clothes, at least dress appropriately for the job." Malfoy nods at my nightgown, and I flush a deep red, instinctively crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"I didn't think anyone would be out this early, least of all you," I mumble, turning back to my washing.

"Everyone has their surprises, I guess." He sits down next to me. "You don't need to fold your arms. There's nothing there to cover, anyway."

I feel myself starting to get very angry. This is almost a certainty these days - as soon as Malfoy and I hold a conversation, at least one of us gets mad at the other. "Shut up, ferret-boy. What do you know, anyway?"

"Well, then... want me to find out if you have anything to hide?" he asks suggestively, leaning closer. My face turns even redder and I shove him away.

"S-stop that," I yell, bending my head down and scrubbing at the washed top in a frenzy. I can almost hear him sneer.

"Come on, it won't hurt..."

And with that, he pushes me into the icy cold water of the lake.

"Ahhhh! What was that for?" I scream as the water seeps through my nightgown and chills my skin. I shiver, feeling like a human popsicle, and paddle the best I can with my feet underwater to keep afloat. Thank goodness I'm not wearing a heavy robe, or I would have drowned by now. Malfoy is laughing his head off on the shore. I send him a glare and his laughing subsides.

Suddenly, a lazy tentacle emerges from under me and lifts me into the air. "Whoooaaa!" I shout as I cling onto the giant squid's tentacle. It's harder than it sounds - it is slippery with water, and the surface is smooth like jelly. The squid tosses me back to shore. "Ahhhhh- ommf!" I land in a heap beside Malfoy, who has started laughing again. "I said, 'shut up'!"

"That made my day," he says, grinning as I stand up. There is silence as he looks at my wet clothes. He stares and stares until I feel so annoyed that I could punch him.

"What is it?" I ask irritably. Then I look down at myself. My cheeks flame red again - a very strange sight, because it had been white just a second ago. "Um... er..."

Obviously, my whole nightgown had been soaked. But what I realized just now is that it has turned very transparent, too. So basically, you can see right through it to my underwear.

"Bookworm you might be, but at least you've got a nice body, too." Malfoy raises an eyebrow, looking impressed. "It's a surprise no-one's tried to get you into bed yet."

"Why you little..." I glare, at the same time trying to cover myself up, and swing a fist at him. I didn't expect it to hit, but surprisingly it lands on his chest and he loses his balance. The look on his face is priceless as he falls back and lands, with a huge splash, into the lake.

I choke and double over, my sides splitting from laughter. His head bobs up, his expression furious. "I'll get you, Granger!" he shouts angrily. I am pleased to notice that there's no sign of the squid to help him. I give him a sweet smile.

"Yeah, sure," I grin and walk off, my clean top floating behind me as if held by invisible hands. "See you later!"

In my mind I've already written out the next plan, which I've just performed:

_- Plan 3: Make Malfoy feel the cold._

_When: Now!_

_Why: For pushing me into the lake. It was freezing! Damn that idiot!_

_How: I've just done it. :D_

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Well... there it is. :D Chapter 11! 12 will be up in a week or so, depending on my schoolwork. Thank you for all your reviews, everyone. I loved reading them.


	12. Chapter 12: Draco

Hi! I did say I would update in a week, but I think it's slightly past a week now... dunno. Schoolwork is melting my brain. -Brain fizzles and squeaks-

Anyway, don't worry if I go for like two weeks without updating, I might just be busy or stuck with ideas. I don't plan to cut this story off, it's my most successful one so far and the one I have the most ideas for (the stories that I haven't finished, and couldn't finish because of permanent writer's block, have been deleted). So don't give up on me if there's no author alerts from me for a fortnight.

And onto...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 12

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DRACO

Granger is really pushing it.

I am going to teach her a lesson, one that she won't forget anytime soon.

Hahaha. Ha. Ha.

These are the thoughts in my head as I trudge down a corridor, dripping wet with lake water. I shiver slightly as I push past the Slytherin common room entrance, brushing strands of hair from my face. Thankfully I haven't sneezed yet, and it doesn't feel as if I will anytime soon. If I get a cold then I am going to complain to Dumbledore about abuse.

Of course, I will skip the part about me pushing her in first.

Still... it was embarassing getting beaten by the bookworm. I can't believe I let her have the last laugh. I felt like an idiot all the way as I stumbled back to the common room from the lake. And the giant squid had fucking ignored me, which wasn't fair since it had helped the Mudblood when she fell into the water.

When I reach the comfort of the roaring fire in the common room, I sigh in relief and flop down into a serpent-skin armchair, clawing at my hair to try and get rid of the assorted plants and bugs that had found their way there. When my hair feels relatively smooth and bug-free again - as well as back to being white-blonde rather than green-tinged - I lean back into my chair and close my eyes, enjoying the comforting heat of the fire.

"OHMYGOD! Draco-poo! Are you OK?"

I groan inwardly. Her again. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Pansy attempts to give me a hug, but wrinkles her nose in distaste as I drip all over her robes. "Urgh! The water's cold. Where have you been? Remember, before you go swimming you have to take your clothes off."

I roll my eyes. "Who do you think I am, Pansy? I know that better than you do." I reconsider. "Wait, maybe not. You'd take your clothes off in a flash if you felt like it."

She pouts. "I can take my clothes off for you, darling!"

"Please, don't," I say as I lower my head and shake it like a dog, not taking her seriously. But when I look back up, I shout in surprise as a naked Pansy confronts my eyes. "Oh God! Put them on, put your clothes back on!"

"Why?" she asks stupidly, sauntering over closer. "Doesn't Draco-darling like it?"

"I like it, but not right now," I say. Pansy looks happy at the comment and finally clothes herself again. "Phew. Don't do that. You never know who might walk in through the door, and if they tell the school, my reputation is ruined."

"OK. Whatever you say, Draco." She sits down on my lap, uninvited. I scowl at her. "Would you like-"

"No thanks, Pansy. I'll get cleaned up myself." I don't really want to know what she was going to offer.

"Well, alright."

"Get off my lap." I push her away roughly and stand up, grimacing as I glance at the puddle of cold water left in the seat. "Never mind - the house elves will clean it up." I hurry up into my dormitory and grab a black t-shirt that says 'DEATH' on the front, boxers and a pair of blue jeans. I would have to go to the Prefects bathroom to take a bath and change. Right now, however, I would have to walk there in my wet clothes. Oh well. Soon I would be dry - and warm - again.

When I am in front of the bathroom entrance I peel off my soaked shirt and throw it in the basket for dirty clothes. "Ahhh. That soggy shirt nearly gave me hypothermia." I glance into the room with the huge bath, and, satisfied that no-one is there, strip down to my shorts and dive into the warm water. I am surprised that there is already a load of bubbles, but think nothing of it.

Until a voice calls out. "Um, who's there?"

I peer around for the source of the voice. "It's Draco Malfoy."

There is a sharp intake of breath, and then someone splashes in the corner opposite me, obviously trying to get out. There's only one person who would react to me like this. "Granger?"

The splashing stops. "No. It's Lavender Brown."

"She's not a Prefect."

"Damn!" A string of curses follow. I try not to smirk as I wade silently towards her. "Um, Pansy Parkinson then."

"Pansy would have jumped on me ages ago," I remark dryly. "Actually, she would have jumped on almost any guy taking a bath. In any case, I know you're Hermione Granger. So stop pretending." I have covered 2/3 of the pool now, and with one powerful kick I go under the surface, and then come up right in front of her. She is scowling, but that doesn't make her look any less pretty. I grin. Beautiful face, great body, plus a personality to boot. Granger definitely isn't shallow, that's for sure. The only unfortunate thing is, she's wearing a swimming suit right now.

"OK, now you know who I am." She steps towards me. "Now get lost!" With one hand, she tries to push me under.

I grab her wrist and pull it towards me. "Oh no, you don't. You're not drowning me again."

"Argh! Why won't you die? You're harder to kill than a flea," she says, her face glaring at me from only a few inches away.

"I guess I should be honored you think that way," I say sarcastically, but my eyes widen as she kicks me in the crotch. "Oh, fuck! That hurt!"

She looks grimly satisfied. "Good. It was meant to."

"And now you know what I'm going to do to you for revenge, right?" I smirk and swim after her.

"W-what?" Granger tries to hide it but I can hear a bit of fear and anticipation in her voice. She paddles away quickly, but I am faster. With one fluid motion, I trap her into a corner and pin her against the wall of the bath. The mermaid in the painting giggles at the show. Angry and a bit scared as she is, Granger casts a dirty look at the mermaid, who glares back and, sniffing regally, turns away. "Now, Malfoy. Let me go!"

"Ah, don't hurry me, Granger. I like to take my time."

"So I've noticed," she mutters. "You're pretty slow when it comes to brain power, too."

I tut. "Don't insult me further, Granger, or you might find your punishment bigger than it is."

Granger snorts. "I've decided that this is some kind of nightmare, so you can't hurt me. I will pinch myself and then I will be awake, lying on the grass beside the lake." She lifts her chin defiantly. "So go ahead, do whatever you can."

"Do what I can? Famous last words," I sneer. Though what I have in mind for her won't exactly kill her, unless she decides to suicide from shame or we both die from asphyxiation.

Before she can say anything snappy in reply, I lean in swiftly and kiss her on the lips, slipping my hands around her. Steam rises around us, curling in tendrils and keeping the cold air away. The bubbles brush against our skin and pops on contact. Her eyes are wide, even wider, if possible, than last time when Crabbe and Goyle pushed her into me. Her lips are warm, but sadly, firmly shut. Aw. I'd always wondered how good she would be at frenching.

Granger pulls back after a few seconds, looking livid. "What was that about?" she screeches angrily. She wipes her mouth. "I feel like I've been contaminated with a disease or something."

I smirk. "Don't lie. I could tell you liked it."

"Did not!"

"I know you did.

"I didn't!"

"Quit lying."

She scowls again, wet hair plastered to her forehead. "I hate you, Draco Malfoy," she whispers, staring up at me.

"I know."

And then I kiss her again. This time, she kisses me back. She pauses after a few seconds, lifting her lips from mine. I can hear her chant under her breath, "This is just a dream. This is just a dream. This is just a dream. Draco Malfoy here is not real. This kiss isn't real. Therefore you are not actually kissing Malfoy. You are not betraying your house by kissing a Slytherin. Anyway, it's OK to have dreams about this. You are not a weirdo with a dirty mind. You are..." before she grabs me and kisses me again.

I might not know much about her, but I can tell you this: Hermione Granger is an excellent kisser.

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A kiss... :D A proper one, at that. It may be a bit sudden, but don't worry, they're not in love just yet. All will be explained in the next POV of Hermione's. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this.

I'm sorry if you would have liked Hermione to make the first move, but in my mind, I don't think she's that kind of person. She's too shy. Draco is more 'courageous', you might say.

Chapter 13 will be up shortly! It's already written - I actually wrote it before this one. O.o


	13. Chapter 13: Harry

This story is becoming more successful than I'd hoped. :3 Thank you for all your reviews. I loved hearing from you.

Harry is a BIT angsty in the beginning of this chapter. There won't be much more angst after that, though. I hate angsty Harrys. "."

&... ABRACADABRA!

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 13

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HARRY

Quidditch season is coming up. Actually, Gryffindor's first match is tomorrow - Monday. And our opponent is none other than the Slytherin team.

This should be an easy game, even though I haven't been flying in the holidays at all. I did manage to fit a few hours of riding my Firebolt between homework these past days, and I don't think I've gotten worse.

My Firebolt... the only thing that's left from Sirius. I'd smashed that mirror he'd given me, and the lock-picking knife had disappeared to nowhere. I kept wishing that I could see him again... just hear his bark-like laugh, see his gaunt, but grinning face. That scene of his death, when he fell through the arch, keeps playing over and over in my head whenever I think of him. Talking to Luna last year had helped ease my grief a little, but I still wasn't convinced that Sirius was hiding out of view behind the veil. My Godfather would have come out there straight away. He wasn't the type to keep me wondering.

I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts. I'd already mourned Sirius enough in the past few months. There's no point drowning in despair, which is what will definitely happen if I kept thinking about him. I concentrate on the Charms review test in front of me and dip my eagle-feather quill into the small pot of ink sitting next to my papers.

After the lesson, Ron and I walk together to lunch, discussing the test and what we'd put down. "What did you write for number 12? I couldn't figure that out," I complain, glancing at Ron.

He shrugs. "I think I put, 'Cheering Charms'."

I stop. "'Cheering Charms'!" I ask, starting to laugh. "You put 'Cheering Charms' for that question?"

Ron looks confused. "What?"

"The question said, 'What charm is used to depress the person it is cast on?'"

"Oops," he says sheepishly. "I wasn't concentrating. I was thinking about the Quidditch match with Slytherin - coming up tomorrow!" He punches the air excitedly. "I can't wait to kick Malfoy's ass, after all he's done to us."

It seems that most of the Gryiffindors feel the same. People like Seamus and Dean have started to mutter ominously about past quidditch accidents whenever they pass a Slytherin player. Obviously they are trying to creep them out, and make the other team lose focus.

Hermione looks quite happy about the upcoming game, too. When I asked her early this morning, after she came back from the lake and before she went to the Prefects bathroom, why she was grinning madly all of a sudden, she told me nothing was up, she'd just had a really good morning. Apparently she got her top washed (finally). Still, I don't think that would be enough to put a huge grin like that on her face.

"You're coming to watch the match, aren't you?" I ask Hermione now after finding her at the Great Hall. Ron seats himself on my other side, an expectant look on his face as he stares at the empty plates.

Hermione smiles. "Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world. And..." She lowers her voice and glances around. "... it would be a good time for me to do something to him without people getting too suspicious."

I had realized a few days back that Hermione was serious about the killing-Malfoy thing. Of course, I support her all the way. Who, in Gryffindor, wouldn't? "Great... just be careful. Snape's refereeing the match. I don't want you to get caught - or you might get expelled." I shudder. "Even if you're a top student. I'm sure Snape'll do everything he can to get rid of one of us."

She nods. "I know... we've been here for five whole years, and there hasn't been a day when he doesn't glare at us. It's really depressing, you know."

"Yeah," I laugh. "Though if Snape started smiling at everyone, they'd probably put him in St Mungo's."

After lunch, we head to our lessons. Between homework and the occasional quidditch practice (organized by yours truly, the new team Captain), we have hardly any free time that night. Before I know it, it is Monday morning.

I glance at my watch as I get up. "Ah! It's already six," I shout to nobody in particular, and hurry downstairs with my shirt half-on, purple quidditch robes over my arm. And guess who is downstairs at that very moment.

Ginny.

She takes one look at me and goes bright red. "H-Harry? Quidditch match, I suppose?"

I blush and quickly pull on my shirt properly. I don the robes as fast as I can and when I am satisfied that I am completely covered, I look up at Ginny. Of all the people to meet while I am practically bare-chested, it just has to be Ginny. Talk about bad luck. "Um, yeah. What are you doing up at this time of morning?"

"I was going to watch you practise before the game," she says, grinning. "And see Ron make a fool of himself. He just can't play well without being pressured. Hopefully he'll do well in the actual match."

I nod. "Yeah... it's really strange. Everyone else hates the pressure of a big match, but Ron needs it to do his best."

"Well... shall we go down to breakfast?" She links her arm through mine and marches me towards the potrait-hole. "Come on!" And we go down to the Great Hall, a redhead beauty dragging a very pink me along.

At the Gryffindor table, I see that Ron and Hermione are already there. Ginny waves furiously at them, and Hermione's face cracks into a big smile. Ron looks as if he's trying hard not to fall asleep at the table. Most of the time he fails to hide his yawning, and at one point he drops onto the table to sleep and lands his face into a bowl of hot porridge. That wakes him up effectively, and he is kept busy trying to wipe the porridge off his face.

Hermione waves back madly at us. "Harry! Ginny! This way!" As if I haven't seen her yet.

I give her a grin and, gesturing to Ginny, head in her direction. "G'morning, Hermione, Ron."

"So what have you two been up to?" Hermione smiles as she looks at me and then Ginny. Somehow Hermione's smile looks a bit strained, but I can't tell what's wrong, and since she's obviously trying to hide her discomfort with something I decide not to ask. Hopefully it's just something about her plans about Malfoy.

I turn bright red again. Damn. Just when I'd managed to drain the color from my face so I looked normal. "Er, nothing."

"Ginny!" It is Dean Thomas. "Come sit with us for a while!" He doesn't notice the glare I send him, and Ginny stands up with an apologetic glance at me.

"Sorry! I'll come to the tactics talk, don't worry." And before I can do anything, she bends down and gives me a little peck on the cheek. My face, if it was red before, is now burning scarlet. Then she leaves and goes to sit with Dean and Seamus. It's funny how popular she is with the guys.

"You should have asked her to stay," Hermione scolds me.

"Why? I shouldn't stop her from talking to other guys."

"Oh, Harry!" She pokes me. "You're so dense! Can't you tell she likes you! If you had at least asked her to stay, she'd have felt you actually appreciate her. And that little kiss was proof."

"It was just a friendly kiss on the cheek," I mumble, averting my gaze from her.

"Just a friendly kiss! Are you a troll, Harry?" Hermione looks exasperated now. Ron is still busy wiping his face, a disgusted expression on his face. "You're even slower than Ron when it comes to girls!"

"Hey! I heard that," Ron yells from behind her. Hermione gives him a grin and he laughs. "Oh, so you're giving Harry the talk."

"What talk?" I ask.

Hermione ignores my question. "What I'm trying to say here, Harry, is that you should ask Ginny out."

I gape at her. "Ask... ask Ginny out! Who do you think I am, Superman? I can't do that! She'll reject me! She's got loads of boys lined up at her door, in case you haven't noticed."

She snorts. "I've noticed, alright. I'm her best friend. But I can tell she likes you."

"Give me proof."

"One. That kiss just now." Hermione crosses her arms. "Two. She always blushes when you're around."

"Is that it?"

"Wait, I have more. Three, she always talks about you. Four, she always stares at you for no reason."

"OK, OK. I get the poin-"

"Five, she tries to talk to you. Six, she offers to help you with your homework."

I remember that night when Ginny and Hermione had suddenly asked if I'd done my Potions essay and had forced me to finish it, with their help. "Alright, I know. You don't have to say anymo-"

"Seven..."

"I said, I get the point."

"Seven..."

"HERMIONE! I KNOW! STOP GIVING ME REASONS!"

She stands up, smiling. "THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU WON'T ADMIT YOU LIKE GINNY WEASLEY!" The satisfied grin on her face is a stark contrast to her screaming.

The whole hall falls silent at her words. I look at Ginny quickly, and notice that she is crimson, giggling with a few of her friends, who are staring pointedly at me. I turn away quickly before she notices me, and glare at Hermione, who is holding back laughter. "You should have seen your face, Harry! Now that the school knows, you'd better get to it. Ask her out."

I sigh, but inside I am beaming. I feel like jumping around screaming with glee. I now have an excuse to ask her out without looking desperate. "Hermione... thanks." I grin at her.

Hermione laughs. "Just make it soon. I wanna see you guys snogging as soon as possible."

"HERMIONE!" I yell, swinging a plate at her, and she shouts with laughter as she ducks. It's a good thing Hermione's smile looks fully natural now.

A few minutes later, I am out on the Quidditch field, Firebolt in hand. After discussing tactics with my team, consisting now of me as Seeker, Ron as Keeper, Ginny, Heather Wilde and Georgina Thompson - the first new team member a 7th year and the latter a 5th year - as Chasers. Jack Mulberra and Cameron Smith are the new beaters, both 5th years. With Lee Jordan gone, Seamus is now the new commentator, though not before Lee managed to give Seamus a few lessons on how to commentate and how to insult the Slytherins without getting McGonagall too mad.

"Annnnd, in the red corner, is the GRYFFINDORS! Yeah!"

A loud cheer rises from the red and gold crowd, while the Slytherins boo nearly as loudly. "Annnnd... in the green corner, is the SLYTHERINS! Eat dirt, you scu- ow!"

Professor McGonagall obviously finds this comment to be unsuitable, because she'd cuffed Seamus around the head. "Finnigan! Don't make rude comments!"

"Sorry, Professor," Seamus apologizes, grinning. "So... LET THE MATCH BEGIN!"

Madam Hooch's whistle blows, and suddenly we all kick off. The Quaffle is in our possession, and I count on Ginny, Heather and Georgina to score some goals while I search for the Snitch.

A flash of gold near the bottom of the field catches my eye, and I dive down towards it. I notice Malfoy is tailing me, obviously trying to follow me and then overtake me at the last second. But the gold flicker is gone, and I curse silently. I fly up and Malfoy joins me as we both look around for the Snitch.

"I heard you're in love with that Weasley girl." He smirks at me, flicking his shaggy blond hair back.

I eye him warily. "Yeah, so what if I am?"

"Then I hope you don't mind leaving Granger," he says before making a fast dive. I ponder his strange words as I follow him.

Suddenly, right before my eyes, the tail of his robes catches blue flames. I suppress laughter and yell out. "Malfoy!"

"What?" he shouts back, zooming directly for the gold glint he'd spotted.

"Your robes are on fir- argggggh!" The flames, blown by the wind, has started to catch on the tip of my broomstick. "Stop, Malfoy! You're making my broom burn!"

He doesn't listen, and only when he feels the blue heat on his back does he yelp and skid to a dramatic stop in midair. I nearly crash into him. "Oh, God! I'm on fire! Help!"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," I mutter as I try, unsuccessfully, to douse the flame with a _Aguamenti_ spell. "Damn! This flame won't go out."

The only person I know who can make a undousable flame is none other than - Hermione. I glance at the Gryffindor crowd and spot her with Ron and Dean. The smug grin on her face tells it all. And as dangerous as it is, I can't help laughing.

"What's so funny, Potter?" Malfoy yells, beating at the flames. "Time out! Time out, Madam Hooch! Ahhhh, it's burning my back!" He flies down to the ground and immediately, and Madams Hooch and Pomfrey rush towards him.

"My goodness! Who did this to you, boy?"

He glares at me. "I don't know. But I suspect it might be Potter and his gang."

Professor McGonagall snorts derisively. "Potter was on the broomstick the whole time. I was watching him. As for his friends, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be the kind to pull something like this. But I will question them."

The game has been forfeited, and I leap off my Firebolt. The flames have now disappeared from my robes, but are still burning fiercely on Malfoy. However, to my amazement, it isn't searing his skin and there is no sign of burnt flesh, even where the blue fire licks at his bare back. It seems that it only burns clothes, and nothing else.

Hermione, you're a genius. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on Malfoy's face when he realized his clothes were on fire. Ever.

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Hope you enjoyed it. :D


	14. Chapter 14: Hermione

Arigatou for all your support. I appreciate hearing from you. :) Thanks especially to all the people who have continuously reviewed this fic since the early chapters. You know who you are, and I do too. So thank you very much. -Glomp-

& here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 14

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HERMIONE

Well, I'd hoped that yesterday had been all one big dream - I mean, nightmare. But after I'd left the Prefects' bathroom in a state of daze after the smooching session, I'd pinched myself as hard as I could. On my arms, legs and face. If you don't believe me, I have bruises to show you as proof.

OK, I admit it. I went a bit overboard with the pinching. But the point is, I didn't wake up next to the lake, or anywhere for that matter. I stayed where I was, in my swimming gear (I wear it when bathing, in case of Peeping Toms sharing the Prefects' bath with me). And I hurt all over. My lips had still been flaming from Malfoy's kissing and my hair was tousled from him playing absently with it as we'd kissed.

Which takes us back to why we'd snogged in the first place. I admit that I'd wondered what it would be like to kiss Malfoy before. And a small part of me was satisfied that I had finally found out. Still, I had no affection for him. It was just a curiosity, and now that it had been fulfilled, I feel pretty much the same as ever towards him.

Really.

Now I have those plans I've written for Malfoy to carry out.

_Plan 4: Burn Malfoy with magical fire._

_When: During today's Quidditch match._

_Why: Because... because I said so._

_How: When he is flying and about to get the Snitch, cast _Acquapyro_ on him. Must resist from casting _Pyrifico_ on him instead, because that would burn him for real._

"Hermiiiiiiiiiiione!"

"Bwahaha- I mean, uh, hi Ginny!" I try to cover up my evil laughter with a loud cough in an attempt to distract her. "So, seen Harry this morning?" Gah! That was a dumb question. We'd come to the pitch together, all four of us. There isn't much of chance of her not spotting him this morning if they'd walked next to each other on the way to the Great Hall, as well as to the Quidditch pitch.

She gives me an odd look. "Of course. We were just with him a second ago, weren't we?"

"Er, yeah! Sorry about that. Got a bit carried away with my thoughts."

Ginny laughs. "Malfoy-killing plans, right?"

I grin. "Something like that. So, good luck on the game. Make sure you give the Slytherins what they deserve. Don't hesitate to jab a few of them in the eye."

"In the eye? Well, I'll try my best. Thanks! Cheer for us." And with a wave, Ginny departs, holding her Nimbus Two Thousand tightly in her hands.

Where did that Nimbus come from? Well, basically, when Ginny had been going out with Dean Thomas, he had been really into her and bought her a load of presents. Dean's family weren't millionaires, but they were close to it. They had a modest little house, without any unnecessary things in it like huge plasma TVs or sound systems throughout the house. This meant that Dean got a lot of money, because his parents had a lot of money to spare.

Now that Dean and Ginny had broken up, they are still good friends and occasionally, he would buy her the odd present. I guess she's just lucky.

"Hiya, 'Mione!" A gruff voice says brightly.

I look up. "Oh! Hey there, Hagrid! Come to watch the match?"

"Yeah. Heard that Ginny Weasley's playin' fer the Gryffindor team?" The half-giant sits down, waving aside a protesting 3rd-year that had been next to me.

"That's right."

"Good on 'er," he says, staring at the people down below. "Takes after 'er brothers, it seems!"

"Annnnd, in the red corner, is the GRYFFINDORS! Yeah!"

Seamus's voice booms out, and I snap my attention towards the pitch. On one side is the Gryffindor team, Harry in the front. On the other side, green and silver-robed figures stood, looking menacing. At their front is Draco Malfoy. My heart does a little flop, and my hand tightens around my wand. I am going to do Plan 4 to Malfoy at this match. Hopefully no-one will notice me waving my wand around a bit and muttering spells under my breath.

On the pitch, Harry and Malfoy both step forward. Even at this distance, I can see the glares on their faces, and their reluctance to touch each other. After a few seconds of silence, Harry finally raises his palm. Malfoy slowly raises his and clenches it around Harry's hand. The forced grins on their faces nearly make me pee my pants with laughter.

Thankfully I don't pee my pants, or it would have been rather unladylike.

Madam Hooch's whistle blows, and the two teams take off in a flurry of dust and multicolored robes. Soon, Ginny, Heather and Georgina are passing the Quaffle between them. After a few seconds, Georgina receives the red ball and, being close enough to the Slytherin goal hoops to be able to take a good shot, throws it towards the right hoop. The Slytherin goalie flies as fast as he can towards the Quaffle and tries to catch it, but misses by a good metre.

The crowd around me roars in triumph. Opposite the pitch, the Slytherins glare at us and mutter amongst themselves.

Harry and Malfoy seem to be making conversation as they both sit atop their broomsticks and scan the pitch for the tiny golden Snitch. They make one dive after another, but always pull away near the end, feinting. Eventually, Malfoy sees something Harry hasn't and starts to fly down. The Slytherins cheer as he zooms down, obviously spotting the Snitch.

"Come on, Harry! You must have seen it!" I mouth to no-one in particular. "Geesh... OK, time for Operation Burn-Malfoy." I grab my wand, and covering it with the sleeve of my robes, wave it in a complex pattern in the air and point it at Malfoy. "_Acquapyro_!"

To my pleasure, Malfoy's quidditch robes catch on fire, just like I'd intended. Harry seems to be yelling something at him, but he doesn't notice the flames until a few seconds later. Then he starts shouting in surprise.

"What's this! Draco Malfoy, of the Slytherin team (boo) has caught on fire! What's happening?" Seamus cries, eyes wide. Sheesh. Ever the drama king.

"'Mione! Did ya see his face, that ferret!" Hagrid booms, laughing heartily. "He looked scared out of 'is wits!"

"Uh, yeah. Hahaha! That was very funny. Ha. Ha."

Hagrid stops laughing and gives me a funny look. "Somethin' wrong, Hermione? Ye don't sound well."

"I'm fine. Just laughing at Malfoy. Haha. Ha!" I force a grin as I crane my neck to see how Malfoy is.

"Hermione... I think I'll go and talk ta Madam Pomfrey about yer behaviour," Hagrid says, starting to stand.

I quickly drag him back down, smiling at him and looking as sane as possible. "No! I said I was fine, thank you. I appreciate your concern, Hagrid, but I'm really OK." I stand up instead. "I'm going down to talk to Harry. Stay here, will you? Don't come looking for me, I'll be alright getting down there."

"Erm... OK, then. If yer say so," he answers, looking doubtful. "See ya."

I wave at him and then hurriedly make my way down to where Harry is standing, laughing like a maniac. "Harry! You OK? The flames didn't get to you, did they?" I hadn't done the spell very much before, only in my first year when I'd set Snape on fire in the same way, except I'd caught the flame in a jar first. I didn't know what might happen if a person who wasn't the target caught fire too. The blue flames wouldn't burn the targeted thing, but anything else like clothes or shoes would be demolished. I hoped that Malfoy hadn't put his wand in his pocket, because then it would have been burned up too.

"Nah, I'm fine. But you should have seen Malfoy! He was jumping around screaming before Madam Pomfrey assured him that he was still fine and not burnt." Harry chuckles. "I wish I had a camera."

I smile at him, and then look over at where Malfoy is. I suck in my breath and wish that my heart would stop flopping around, because it did that just now.

His robes have been burned clean off, revealing his bare chest and the jeans he is wearing underneath his now non-existent quidditch gear. The scowl on his face doesn't make him look any less sexy. And even though I'd shared a bath with him yesterday, I hadn't seen anything because we had been underwater, and the bubbles on the surface of the Prefects' bath had made the water practically opaque. Plus the water had been nearly up to his shoulders, so there hadn't been much to see.

Obviously other girls are thinking the same thing as me (not the bit about the bath, the first part), because a bunch of them come to fawn over him. His scowl widens as he pushes them away. Only the really persistent ones, like Pansy, come back to him. The others realize he is in a bad mood and stay a reasonable distance away, not wanting to feel his anger or get in his bad books.

When he looks up and spots me, he waves a fist at me menacingly, cold grey eyes flashing with humiliation and unmistakeable anger. "GRANGER!"

I wouldn't be surprised if the whole school had heard him, because suddenly the pitch goes rather quiet. "Um... hi?"

He stomps over to me and leans so close to me that I can feel the heat from his body. "You... you did this, didn't you?"

"What if I did?" I answer rather coldly, or as coldly as I can manage so close to Malfoy.

He sneers. "Right. You'd better watch out, Mudblood, because I'm going to get back at you soon - very soon."

I pretend to shiver. "Omigod. I'm so friggin' scared. Bring it on, Malfoy. I doubt you could hex me even if I were asleep."

Malfoy's face turns slightly pink. "You'll be sorry you said that." And with that, he strides away, his female fans glaring at me. I make a face at his back, and as much as I would love to hit him with some kind of hex, my pride doesn't allow me to make such an underhand attack. Instead I satisfy myself with a few choice swear words, which I won't list here.

"Oy, 'Mione."

I turn around to grin at Harry, who looks a tad bit worried. "Yeah?"

"Do you think he was telling the truth? I wouldn't put it past him to hex you while you were, say, asleep. He might even ambush you while you're on Prefect duties with Ron!" Harry says, looking concerned. "Who knows what that Malfoy and his croonies will do to get back at you. I mean, you embarassed him quite a lot. He was seen jumping up and down screaming in front of the whole school."

I wouldn't have called it screaming, but it was close enough. "Hm. You're right. But isn't that what Ron's there for?" I grab Ron and hook my arm through his. "My bodyguard's right here!"

"H-hey! Hermione, I doubt I could fight off Malfoy and his friends by myself," Ron splutters, flushing. "Anyway... don't take him too seriously, you two."

I am pretty sure that Malfoy was serious. But I don't think he would be dumb enough to hex me - I am practically infamous in Hogwarts for my tasteful revenge on those who dared to attack me. I relax as a familiar jumble of spells tumble into my mind. There is the jelly slugs one, and then there is the one who turns the victim green with purple spots. Many more are there, but listing them would take too long.

The Quidditch match being over, I walk along to Potions with Harry and Ron. I can tell that it's not going to be an enjoyable lesson, even it is just Gryffindors in the class. Snape will be sour that his house team was denied the chance to maybe win against the Gryffindors, and that one of his favorite students was humiliated in front of the school. And judging by the scowl on the Professor's face as we walk into the dungeon classroom, I'm probably right.

"Five points off Gryffindor for you three being late," he barks as soon as we open the door. I roll my eyes at Harry and Ron. "And a further ten points off, Miss Granger, for rolling your eyes!" I gape at him, but wisely keep my mouth shut even though a few choice retorts are at the tip of my tongue. I take my seat and look as neutral as possible, so that Snape can't take points off from me for smiling or scowling too much.

Throughout the lesson, points are taken of for the slightest mistake. By the time we exit the classroom, our house points have gone down by about sixty. The whole class is muttering and complaining about the unfairness of this situation, us included.

"That -" - Ron makes a rather rude gesture in the air - "- stinking rat! Now we're probably last in running for the house cup!"

Harry doesn't look too worried. "There's still the rest of the year, Ron. And plus, we're having another match on Thursday, so if we beat whoever we're playing, we should be ahead by a little again."

"That's good to know," I remark. "Just make sure you beat that team. Don't you dare lose. We don't have many crystals left in the hourglass..."

"So, Snape's taken revenge? About time..." A voice drawls from behind us. I groan. That voice is all too familiar. Nearly as familiar as my hexes. Which I have a funny feeling I'm going to need to perform in a few moments.

"Go away, Malfoy," Ron says automatically. This is one of his many auto-responses to Malfoy. Others include, 'Get lost, stinking ferret.' and '-Insert unpleasant word here- off, idiot.' Not exactly positive, but then again, Malfoy doesn't really deserve positive comments from us.

"Not likely," he says loftily. "I haven't even taken revenge yet." His smile grows malicious as he aims his wand at me. "Which I will do now... _Tarantallegra_!"

Immediately my legs start tap-dancing. Wow. Never knew I could dance so well. Now if I could just get it to stop...! "AHHH!" I scream as my frenzied dancing leads me to a wall. My feet kick at the stone wall and the sound echoes along the corridor. Malfoy starts laughing as I trip over my feet and fall on my butt, legs still kicking like something in its death throes.

Urgh. Not exactly a nice thought.

"_Reversio_!" Harry shouts, and my feet stop. I huff and heave a bit, while Harry and Ron ask if I am OK. I nod and slowly get to my knees, and before Malfoy can block it, I pull out my wand and yell: "_Mobilicorpus_!"

And Malfoy floats ten feet into the air, his head nearly bumping the ceiling. "Oh, holy shit!" he shouts, looking around frantically for his wand before realizing that it is in his hand. "_Rever_- no!"

I laugh at his panicked expression. "That's right. You can't reverse this, because then you'll be a wizard pancake! And I doubt Crabbe and Goyle know how to conjure a stretcher yet. So have a good time up there, amigo." Cackling to myself, I beckon to Harry and Ron to get going to Transfiguration. "Come on. We'll be late if we don't hurry."

"Get me down! Or when I die I'll come back and haunt you!"

"I bet you'd do that whether I get you down or not," I mutter.

"You bitch! Get back here! Or at least, if your pride won't let you, tell one of your boyfriends to do it!"

I turn pink. "For the last time... HARRY AND RON ARE NOT MY BOYFRIENDS!" And because of my anger, I decide to add something: "_Petrificus Totalus_!"

Full-body bind.

So now Malfoy is not only floating ten feet up, but he's also immobilized. If his nose itches then he can't scratch it. And there's nothing worse than a continuous itch that you can't scratch. "I'll repeat myself one last time - have a good time up there, Malfoy." Then with a satisfied smile, I turn around and join Harry and Ron. I wonder what he'll do for revenge. Knowing Malfoy, it'll be very... close-up and personal.

OK, why is my heart beating so fast at the thought of being up-close to Malfoy? This is very unnatural. Slow down, you idiotic thing.

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Not an awfully big advancement on the plot, but yeah... kinda necessary to the whole relationship thing.

I don't know how some authors can write huge, 20-page chapters. O.o I mean, in some fanfics, for one chapter the scrollbar is like tiny. And I think I include enough thoughts and descriptions... but at most one chapter for me is about 5 pages.


	15. Chapter 15: Ginny

Hurrah! We're onto chapter 15 of this story already! Thanks again for all your support, everyone.

And for those of you who want more Hermione and Draco romance, you'll have to wait for the next chapter. But since the next TWO chapters are both from them, it'll be good! You might have seen a pattern in the POV sequencing... :D

POVs other than Hermione and Draco's will probably focus on other things, like what Hermione did and Harry/Ginny. So please don't demand that you want HGDM romance and that the rest of the chaps suck. I'm working on a new fic, and that'll be all about Hermione and Draco. Promise!

& lalala...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 15

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GINNY

I.

AM.

GOING.

TO.

KILL!

THAT.

HERMIONE GRANGER!

Why oh why did she have to go and tell the entire school something that I'm sure isn't even true? Well of course, I hope it's true, and Harry did turn a bit pink when Hermione yelled, but that might have been from embarassment. I mean, anyone would have blushed if someone yelled out that they liked someone, who they probably don't like, in front of nearly all the Slytherins (they'd come to cheer Malfoy on, and predictably Pansy Parkinson was sitting next to him, trying to feed him all that she could, cooing while placing a hand on his leg suggestively).

OK, now I'm babbling. MUST STOP BABBLING AND CONCENTRATE! I'm going down the stairs, for goodness sakes, and if I fall then it's all my fault. There'll be no one to catch me, like Malfoy caught Hermione (or so she said, with a rather disgusted shudder). Still, at least someone caught her. Since there's no one to catch me, I'll fall right down to the bottom and will bang my head on the floor. That will result in my brains spilling out, and me dyin-

STOP IT!

My brain seems to have an overactive imagination today. Thoughts about brains spilling out - especially my brains - are not nice to think about, and will not help me to make conversation if I see Harry again today. Which I probably will.

That reminds me of our encounter this morning, when Harry had no shirt on. Phew. I was flushing enough back there to make my head seem on fire, and he also seemed a little surprised to see someone up so early. We had a rather quick conversation, and I just had to tell him I'd gotten up early to cheer him on. God. I sounded so clingy and desperate.

Anyway... must say, Harry has a really nice chest. -Drools- Well, I'd kinda expect that, since he's being playing Quidditch for who knows how long. Longer than I've been at Hogwarts, or so Ron tells me. I assume he probably started playing in his first year, so now he's a real expert when it comes to Quidditch and how to play it. Of course, I don't like Harry just because of his manly man chest, but because he's a really nice and funny person. However, being good-looking doesn't hurt, either.

"Um... Ginny? You there?" Someone waves a hand in front of my face.

I snap out of my thoughts. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm here. What's next? Is the lesson finished yet?" I said loudly, grinning to cover up my period of blankness.

People around me suppress giggles, and my good friend Georgina, who is sitting to my right, snorts. I look up, annoyed, and catch the evil eyes of Professor Snape as he glares down his greasy long nose at me. I nearly scream in fright and quickly cover my mouth as a small squeak emits from it. "Um... I mean, is my potion finished yet? Ahahaha. Haha. Ha!"

"Miss Weasley, we have not started making a potion yet. So I don't think that excuse will work," Snape sneers, and I realize that he is right. There is nothing in the cauldron in front of me, save for a few flecks of dust. "10 points from Gryffindor, for daydreaming when I am talking about what you need to make a Sleeping Potion. And if I catch you again, the points lost will be double."

When he turns his back and begins talking, I make a face at him. At that moment, he turns around sharply to look at me again. "Did I just see you making a face, Weasley? That's another 5 points."

My eyes bulge, my fists clench and my classmates start to protest. "But, Professor-"

"She didn't make a face, she was just trying to suppress a sneeze-"

"Yeah! That's what she was doing, I'm a witness-"

"ENOUGH!" Snape shouts, his eyes blazing. "20 points off for the class talking back to me when you were not asked to!"

People mumble angrily about how unfair this is, and a few people shoot angry glares at me. My friends (the rest of the class) shoot threatening looks right back at them, which causes them to look down rather quickly. I smile at Georgina, who grins back. Through the rest of the class we are silent, and Snape has nothing to take points away for. Ha. Take that.

When Potions is finished, we walk towards our next class. On the way, a group of us have a rather interesting conversation:

"Jeesh, what bee went up his ass, that stupid Snape!"

"I'll say... PMS, maybe?"

"Ew! He's a man, Georgina, not a woman... hahaha. It'd be funny though."

"Maybe he's a transexual..."

"Let's not get into that subject, guys. It's bound to get disgusting in a few moments."

"Right-o. Let's get to Transfiguration already. If we're late McGonagall's gonna kill us."

"Heehee! Oh, remember last time? When I tried to transfigure that cactus into a turtle? When I was done, the turtle still had huge spikes on it! And it walked around and pricked everyone."

"Not everyone. Mostly it was because you put it on their seats when they were about to sit down."

"-Guilty look- Well, that's cos you suggested it."

"No, I told you to put it on Mike's seat. He's a real idiot, that guy. Tried to put a slug into the back of my blouse the other day. Good thing he sat down extra hard on the spiked turtle, since one of his mates pushed him onto it by accident. Served him right."

"I thought you liked him."

"Me, like that madman? No way! Not in his wildest dreams. Let's hope he doesn't dream about me. Urgh."

"You guys are wandering into another disgusting area of conversation."

"Oops. Sorry, Gins."

"Don't call me Gins! My name is Ginny. Not Gins. Not Gin. Just Ginny."

"I'm sorry, Gins. Oops. Damn! Sorry, Gins! Argh! I said it again!"

"Why you..."

"WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE SHUT UP! We're nearly there! If the Professor catches us talking, she'll probably get really pissed off."

"You're the one yelling, Georgina..." I say, laughing. Suddenly, I bump into someone walking quickly my way. "Wah!"

"Woah... Ginny? Are you OK?" A familiar voice says worriedly as I stumble and fall backwards, rather ungracefully, onto my butt.

"Urgh... yeah, I'm fine. You should have watc- Oh! Harry! Um, hello. So sorry for bumping into you." I accept the hand he offers and he helps me up. It looks like the task took him no energy at all. _He's so strong,_ I think. Must be all that Quidditch. Cute, friendly and has a nice bod. Oooh, yeah. "I'm OK. Honest." I ignore the whistling and giggling of my friends, and send them a quick glare when Harry's not looking. Georgina pokes her tongue out at me and grins.

"Oh, it's Ginny!" Hermione walks up beside Harry and smiles at me. "Sorry about that. Harry was still gloating about our latest victory against Dr- uh, Malfoy, so he wasn't looking where he was going." She leans closer to me and adds, in a whisper, "He's rather simple-minded, you see." I give her a funny glare/grin (I am still a bit pissed about this morning), but decide to let the subject drop for now.

"Everyone's simple-minded compared to you, 'Mione," I grin, giving her a playful punch on the arm. "Looks like Harry's no exception."

Harry laughs. "'Course I'm not. Anyway... just wanted to ask you something, Gins." He grows serious and stares at me. From anyone else, I would have smacked them for using 'Gins', but when Harry says it, it sounds sooooo cute. It's nice that he is using a nickname for me. I'd wanted one ever since Harry and Ron started using ''Mione' for Hermione, but there wasn't really a good choice of nicknames that can come from 'Ginny'. "You know how there's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend...?"

My heart skips a beat. Is this really happening? If I'm not imagining things, and there really is a Harry Potter standing in front of me asking about Hogsmeade - then there was a chance... a very slight one, but a chance all the same, that he'd ask me to go with him...

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come with m- us. Us as in me, Hermione and Ron." He grins and grabs my hands, squeezing them vigorously. "Come on! Say yes. It'll be fun."

I blush when he takes my hand and nod as coolly as I can while my hand is being squeezed by Harry. "Yuh-yes, of course. Why not? So this weekend. Sah-saturday or Sunday?" My friends' giggles are really getting on my nerves now. They haven't stopped since Harry said hello. "AND SHUT UP BACK THERE!" I yell when Georgina makes a wet sloppy kissing movement behind Harry. Hermione and Ron suppress laughter, the latter grinning from ear to ear.

He lets go of me and beams. "Great. Yeah, um, Saturday I think. That would be the best day." Then he starts to leave, and waves goodbye. "See ya later, Gins!" I make a feeble hand gesture back at him, in attempt to wave goodbye in my shock. Wow. Harry has just asked me out (in a way)! I am a little disappointed that Ron will be coming too, since no doubt he'd try to stop Harry doing anymore more than talk to me or shake my hand, but I don't mind Hermione. Being the smart girl and agony aunt that she is, she'd definitely make herself scarce as soon as she can without looking too suspicious.

"Hey... Ginny, how come you don't mind him calling you 'Gins', but you get all angry when we do?" Georgina pouts after the trio leave, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Hmph! I know you gotta respect our Quidditch team captain, and the cute Boy-Who-Lived, but you should at least make him equal with us when it comes to nicknames."

"Yeah! Well, maybe Ginny likes him. He seems to like her a whole lot. I mean, he just asked her out to Hogsmeade on Saturday. It may not sound like it, but you know how nearly every boy here in Hogwarts ask a girl out to Hogsmeade for a first date," another of my friends says. "It's like a Hogwarts tradition."

"You think so?" I ask her thoughtfully. "Does he really like me or what?"

Georgina and the rest of my friends roll their eyes. "Well, duh!" they exclaim in unison.

"It's so obvious," Georgina adds. "Practically written all over his face."

I beam at them, and then glance at my watch. "Oh no!" I say in horror. "Transfiguration class started 10 minutes ago! We should have been in there a long time ago!"

"Yeah, but Harry Potter came and asked you on a date. That's a good excuse if I ever heard one." Georgina assures me as we file inside quickly, earning glares from the Professor. We quickly sit down and flip to the page of our textbooks, written on the board. She gives me a thumbs-up sign when McGonagall starts talking again and I grin. Phew. Thank goodness Malfoy was set on fire today, or the Professor wouldn't be in such a good mood.

Thanks, whoever it was that cast the flame on him. I have a hunch that it might be Hermione...

And yes, she's forgiven for yelling this morning.

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Thanks to these people who reviewed chapters 10 - 14 (replies are for reviews for chapter 14):

AJ01: Writing long chaps has always been something I wished I could do... but haven't succeeded in doing so far. :D When I do get a long chapter it starts getting boring. And I lose inspiration. O.o

WannaBArtist: Lol, more like no more jelly beans for YOU. You've had enough. XD Thanks for stopping by!

Macey Muse: Yay! I got on your favs list. :D Thank you very much. I'm glad they aren't OOC.

Rogena: You'll find out what happens to Malfoy... next chapter. Hehe!

Whisper's Song: Thanks for your continual support! And I'm still not sure about how to work the beta-ing, since I can't seem to send anything to you. D:

The Lady of the 4leafed Clover: Thanks! I don't deserve such praise! ;o;

FaErIexFaItH: Sure, I will. :D

Artemis: There'll be lots more happening in the next 2 chappies! Glad you liked it.

BaYerrulz: Many people like the shifting POVs. I'm happy that you're one of them.

Lady-Crymsyn: Thanks!

showmethehobbit: Yay! Another fan of shifting POVs. Heehee!

D/HR SHiPPER: Yes, Hermione's starting to feel something! Things are going to get good. :D

Michelle Felton: Lol, yes, nice revenge indeed.

preciousonee: Thank you! Good, good, my chaps are long enough. -Ish happeh-

xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: -Hugs you tightly- Another constant review. I love hearing from you! And I hope you laughed when reading this chapter, too.

cierra: W00t! Thanks for all your comments. Bwahahah!

couch-potato01: Oh yes, getting up and personal indeed! Thanks for the review.

Element Mage: -Writes like she has no tomorrow-

BlackFairy76: Really? Hermione a bit of a bitch? That's an interesting prospective. Some people have called her pessimistic, too. :D

jOanna: Romantically funny? Hooray! XD

yummyguitars: Thanks for the review! I am honored. And I love your fic too. Update, 'k?

goodybad: -Heart flops with yours- Yes, Draco is such a hottie:D -Giggles- Anyway... hope you have stopped laughing now... O.o

OnEbLoOdYrOsEpEtAl373: Thanks! -Glomp-

Katrina MacG, jesska-14, Hieiko, TsuirakuMitsukai, fashy, Enigma, jamesismysweetheart, kiOh, Indian Ink, l3Nxh34r7, Dreaming One, xputteckx, LiLbLueangeL1223, Zekintha, Incarnation, obsezzionzzz, Bookworm1214, Blompie, Allie Kat, ducks-rule-world, MysteryMadeMe, who cares?, ILoveBillieJoe, I should be Studying, Writing Freak, TheConductorsLEASTfavorite, CrazyEvil13, red briar rose, punknpotter, HaliJade Snape, cyancrystaldolphins, juliachan, jtbandnerd, baby-destiny, beautybunnymouse, Amaran, Xtreme Nuisance, Venus725, StarPhoenix, Anniebells, ViolistObsessionist, SnowHedwig05, NybCR, ., Bre, taste for suicidal, BrennaM, marauderbabe289, Eliot Z. Wheatherbee, NeVeRmInD2, DracosBby, Parcheezie, dracochick, PrInCeSs-RaVeN-DaRk, ashibabi, stasha, mykswiss, Key of F Major, Nathonea,

And if any of you are looking for a beta-reader, I'm available to help, but only if you have a email address than can send and receive mail from hotmail email addresses. I've never beta-ed before, but I'd like to try it.

Thanks!


	16. Chapter 16: Draco

OMG! Thanks so much, everyone! Heehee, I woke up the morning after updating, and found about 20 review alerts in my email inbox! I really appreciate the feedback and am glad so many people are enjoying my story. :D

And thanks to TaKeFlIgHtDrAcOLuVr, meh 300th reviewer! A tub of ice cream for you! And of course, tubs of ice cream to all my other reviewers too. :D

& this is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 16

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DRACO

I could have sworn that stupid sneaky Granger had added a little extra in her petrifying spell so that my nose would start itching exactly five minutes after she left. Which it did. And it wasn't a little itch that went away, either; it was one of those itches that made your eyes water if you didn't scratch it. When Crabbe and Goyle finally had the brilliant idea of finding a teacher to get me down about half an hour later, tears were practically streaming from my eyes.

Good thing, though, that Pansy isn't here. She would probably have warped the situation in her mind so that I had really strung myself up in the air to get her attention, and I am crying because I miss her. Then she would get me down, and not in a particularly nice way. What would follow would make anyone shudder and feel ill.

After a few more excruciating moments of torture by itch, Professor McGonagall finally appears with Crabbe and Goyle in tow. They look rather pleased with themselves that they'd had the sense to get an adult to help me down, but I am thinking of some creative methods of getting them to pay for making me stay up here with my unscratchable itch for so long. "Grrraghvootoaaaaaaoon!" I manage to make a small and rather muffled protest. Looks like the _Petrificus Totalus_ is starting to wear off a bit, or at least around my mouth. I decide to try struggling a bit.

To my amazement, my arms can move around a little and my feet and legs are no longer frozen. I am about to whoop in joy but the sight of the stone floor looming up closer and closer at a very frightening speed dampens my mood. "Ooof!" I utter when I hit the ground and roll around in pain. "Owwwww! My back! I just got it repaired a few weeks ago... urrgh. If I can't play Quidditch for my team in a few days you can be sure I'm going to complain to Dumbledore." I glare at the people who had come around as spectators and most of them quickly look away. The rest run off in fright.

McGonagall raises an eyebrow at me. I imitate her and her mouth purses into a very thin line. I quickly lower my eyebrow and give her my most sweet and innocent look. "I hope I didn't just hear you make such a rude comment to me, Mr Malfoy. It is certainly not my fault that your back is hurt. But I am sincerely sorry I didn't conjure up a stretcher for you in time..." She gives me an apologetic look.

I repress the urge to roll my eyes at her. "Oh, that's perfectly alright, Professor. My back is - oooah - fine. For now at least. I should be able to hobble my way to the Hospital Wing myself."

"Good, good. Then you should start hobbling as soon as possible." McGonagall gives me a shadow of a smile and walks off. "I hope that it is nothing too serious."

Is is just me, or was McGonagall being sarcastic? I make a rude gesture at her back and saunter off towards the Hospital Wing. Actually, I feel fine except for a few bruises here and there from my rather abrupt fall from ten feet about the ground.

"And please don't saunter, Mr Malfoy," her voice calls from behind me. I freeze in mid-stride and start hobbling like an old man, coughing and patting myself on the back to look the part. I can almost hear McGonagall's eyebrows raising, but as she doesn't say anything else I stop hobbling after I turn the corner and go back to my normal walk.

When I reach the Hospital Wing, I knock loudly on the door. Pomfrey opens it and sighs when she sees me. "Not you again?" she barks, ushering me in. "You're so accident-prone. You and Mr Weasley... -Sigh- Teenagers these days... when I was at Hogwarts, the nurse was often bored because hardly anyone ever needed to go see her. Yabba yabba yabba..."

I ignore her complaints and tell her politely that I would like something for bruises. "Just something to stop the pain... ouch, it hurts... ohhhhhaaa!"

She doesn't look convinced by my wounded animal sounds and whips out a small bottle of something green. "Here. Put some of this on your bruises. It should stop the pain. Not too much, mind you, dragon dung is very strong."

"D-dragon dung!" I ask, nearly choking as I am about to apply the green something onto a bruise on my shoulder. I quickly wipe the gook onto a tissue and toss it into the bin. "You can't give students dragon dung to apply! I may not be the smartest person in the Hogwarts (like Hermione Granger, damn her) but even I know that dragon dung is very toxic!"

"Don't you worry about what goes into these ointments! I'm the one that gives them out, so I know perfectly well what dragon dung is like. And it's not like the creator of this medicine would give you fresh dung to apply. This is a weakened state of dragon dung and it eases pain by paralyzing the nerves under the skin where it is applied." Pomfrey crosses her arms, looking a tad bit pissed off that I am arguing with her about medicine, of all things. "Now be a good boy and put the dung on. Or you can suffer the pain until your bruises heal."

I mutter something about tyrannic school nurses these days and quickly smear a little of the ointment onto the worst bruises. Immediately the dung was absorbed and I start to feel a bit numb. "Gyaahh. Help. I'm going to fall over. I can't control my arms! They won't move!" I flail them about to make my point.

Pomfrey sighs as she hands me a late pass. "The lies students tell these days just to miss out on lessons..." I hear her mumbling to herself, before she kicks me out of the Wing and tells me that I can endure the numbness on the grass outside if it gets any worse.

After about 20 minutes of hobbling (again) to Herbology, I arrive at Greenhouse 3 and push open the door. The first thing I see is Granger's face staring at me from about an inch away. "ARGGHHHH!" she screams and falls back. "Professor! There's a hobo outside! I just opened the door and was about to go outside when he suddenly appeared right in front of me!" Half the class erupt into hilarious laughter, while the other half glare at them. Oh no. Double Herbology. I can't believe I'd forgotten.

I scowl at her. I do look a bit worse for wear with dragon dung smeared over some parts of my face, but it was all her fault to begin with anyway. And hobo? That was a bit harsh. I grab her and pull her up. "I. Am. Not. A. Hobo." I snarl at her. She pokes her tongue out at me and grins. "Got that? And don't you go poking your tongue out at people, or you might find that it'll be cut off in a few moments."

She pretends to shiver. The whole room watches in silence. Either Professor Sprout isn't here, or she's finding this rather interesting to watch too. "Ooooh, soooooo scary." She smirks. "An eye for an eye, they say. If you cut off my tongue I'll be sure to wrench yours out." Behind her, Potty and Weasel stifle laughs. I give them an extra glare and they stop to glare right back at me. Eventually, however, they give up and and blink rapidly.

"Ha. I doubt you'd want to put your hand into my mouth," I sneer, turning back to her. "And I certainly wouldn't want it there."

She glares at me. I can tell that she is bursting to make a comeback but at that moment Sprout decides to break it up. "Mr Malfoy. You're very late. Care to tell us why?" She motions for Granger to go and do what she was meant to do. I quickly explain to her and hand her the pass. The Professor looks satisfied enough with it and pockets the piece of paper.

Granger heads towards the door and when she passes me, mutters in my ear, "I'll be seeing you later, ferret. Hope you enjoyed your time hanging up there in the air. How was your nose?"

So she had been the one who was the cause for my ever-itching nose. I give her the evil eye and she laughs. "That's not going to scare me, Malfoy," she hisses and leaves. The atmosphere in the greenhouse changes immediately from one of tense anticipation to relative calmness.

I nod blankly as Sprout fills me in on what we are doing right now, which is working in groups of four to milk a large, poisonous plant called the Stone Tentacula (named because of its hard and brittle tentacles that are not flexible like most tentacle plants, but are fixed in shape and the force of the stone tentacle, if it hits you, can cause concussion. The ones we are working with are babies and have been put under a sleeping spell), and to my horror I am put in the group with Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy. The first two I don't mind, but Parkinson...!

"Darling! You're hurt! What happened? Who did this to you!" The look on her face is enough to make me look away. I didn't really want to imagine what she might do to Her- er, Granger, if she knew that she was responsible.

Must stop thinking of Granger by her first name! Must stop! Now!

"Don't worry about it." I wave her away and concentrate on getting through the lesson and ignoring Pansy's fussing.

After the class I trudge back to my common room, bored and tired from the Quidditch match. It's just before dinnertime, anyway, so I won't get in trouble. I yawn and start to take out a book, deciding to use this time to revise for the Charms quiz tomorrow.

Blaise appears in the doorway a little after I open the book. Behind him is a few other more popular Slytherin boys. I roll my eyes at them and they sit down beside me. "Yo," Blaise says, winking at me. I pretend not to have noticed. "Want to play a game?"

"Not really..." I mutter, glaring at him. The other guys look a bit scared of Blaise's constant winking and raising eyebrows at me.

"Oh, come on. It's just Truth or Dare. Knowing you, no dare is too hard." Blaise grins at me. I perk up, starting to get interested. Truth and Dare is my favorite game. And he's right. No one who has dared me so far has seen me chicken out. Whether it's jumping off something, seducing a girl or even getting them into bed, I can do all of that without blinking. Unless it's Pansy, of course. I'd puke if someone dared me to seduce her.

"Alright." I nod slowly, and lazily lean my arm on the table. "How will we play?"

Blaise looks surprised. "Why, Paper, Scissors, Rock, of course! I'm gonna play against you. The others are just here to be witnesses in case you chicken out." He glances at the three people sitting around us, who nods.

Hmmm. I wonder what kind of dare they are setting up, that they would need 3 witnesses. And Paper, Scissors, Rock? Not exactly the most creative way for Truth or Dare. However, against my wise inner voice, I shrug. "Yeah, whatever."

A few rounds of Paper, Scissors, Rock later, I've won twice and Blaise has won once. "I would ask Truth or Dare, but Truth is so boring. So let's just play dares." Blaise nods nonchalantly. "First... bow at my feet." I smirk as his eyes widen, but his pride doesn't let him refuse and he slowly does what I ask. Kneeling down on the carpet, he makes a face and slowly does a kowtow, at my shoe. I help him up, and he squeezes my hand. Quickly I release it, making a disgusted face. He laughs.

"Second... I dare you to kiss Ginny Weasley in front of Potty and Weasel, if possible. You can do that later if you want. And I want to see it." Blaise has a funny gleam in his eye as he smiles. I am satisfied. Looks like Blaise won't weasel out of this one. No pun intended.

"Sure. Now, your turn. I want you, Draco, to french m-" - he looks at the other people and turns pink - "-er, Pansy, with me as witness. You have 3 days from now to do that. Tell me when you're ready to do it." He grins wickedly as my mouth drops open. Quickly I close it before a fly comes zooming into it, like those stories I've heard so often.

"What! Pansy? No fucking way!" I protest. "You know what she's like. If I french her she'll take it as a sign to, er, take it much further."

Blaise shakes his head, with that infuriating grin still on his face. "Sorry, Draco. You said you'd do any dare. So here it is." He stares at the witnesses. "Right? He did say that, didn't he?" They quickly nod, not wanting to infuriate one of the most popular and rich boys in the school. He turns back to me and gives me a triumphant look.

I stand up ever so slowly and give him my best shark smile. "Blaise... come over here. Into the dormitory. I'd like a word with you."

He leaps up eagerly and quickly follows me to the stairs. "Stay there, or go somewhere else!" he barks at the other guys, who shrug and stand up, ready to leave. I lead Blaise over towards a corner. He looks as though he is trying hard not to pounce on me and drag me into the nearest closet. I shudder but continue anyway.

"Blaise. I will do that dare. But for a price," I purr in my best Pansy purr (sometimes being around that woman does help). I grab the front of his shirt. He is practically panting and starts to grab for me. "Oh yeah! That's good... you little SON OF A BITCH!" I yell and give him a award-winning punch to the face. He staggers backward and his nose begins bleeding, but I show no mercy and continue on my quest to give Blaise the beating he deserves for daring me such a stupid dare. Oh, I'd have to do the dare, for sure, but right now I might as well have some fun.

A few minutes later I emerge from the dormitory. "Phew!" I say, wiping my brow with a satisfied smirk. "That felt good." I may have to kiss Pansy, but that was practically worth it. I wipe the small amount of blood from my hands onto my black robes and make a mental note to throw it to the elves to wash later.

Throughout dinner, I kept thinking of ways that I could french Pansy without actually frenching Pansy. The situation seemed hopeless as I thought and thought, but to no avail. When I start to walk slowly back to the Slytherin common room and get ready for my Prefect duties tonight, I pass the Gryffindor table. When I spot Granger, an idea suddenly pops into my head.

Granger. Parkinson. Deceiving spell.

Seeing how the kiss with Granger in the baths hadn't been too bad (better than with Pansy, at least), I decided I'd rather snog her again and risk her wrath instead of frenching Pansy and risk getting molested in public. Urgh. Just the thought of doing either makes me squirm with discomfort, but since the latter makes me nearly choke, I make up my mind to stick with the first one.

"Hey, Mudblood," I call out. She freezes and turns around to face me, ever-so-slowly. Potty, Weasel, Weaslette and all the other Gryffindors become silent and glare at me. I resist the urge to run away from the force of their glares but mentally plant my feet on the ground so stop myself from moving.

"What?" she snaps, venom dripping from her voice. Even some other Gryffindors flinch at her voice, and Crabbe and Goyle fidget nervously behind me. Potty and Weasel, however practically cheer her on and Weaslette looks down her nose at me.

I wonder if it such a good idea to tell her to meet me somewhere tomorrow night for the dare, in front of all these people. But then, when have I ever gotten embarassed about something like this before? "Meet me beside the Transfiguration classroom after dinner tomorrow night." I smirk. "You know you don't want to miss it. So be there." With that, I walk off.

"Hey, what are you going to do to her?" I hear Weasel yell behind me. I laugh to myself when I hear that and Potter warning her not to listen to a word I say. Somehow I don't think that Hermione will listen to them at all.

At least, I hope she doesn't.

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Wooo... Draco called her by her first name in his head and didn't notice/try to correct himself:D What will the dare lead to? Find out, in the next chapter of 10WtKDM!

Dunno... I think I made the dare thing a bit sudden... but I couldn't think of any other way to make them french kiss. And I just know you'll love that. The scene will most likely happen in chapter 17. So keep reading! Hehehe.


	17. Chapter 17: Hermione

Wheeee! So many nice comments for chapter 16. :D I'm so glad that more people are reading my fanfic, and that old readers are still reading. Hehe.

Here's chapter 17 (with ze french kissie, which I know you're all looking forward to). Enjoy!

& let's get on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 17

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HERMIONE

Hm. Surprisingly, Malfoy hasn't tried to kill me for doing all that to him. If anything, he is mellower than before (my plans must have helped!), though 'mellow' isn't exactly a good word to describe him. Apart from the small fight at the Greenhouse, nothing much as happened.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Have I finally broken him in? I really don't think so. In fact, if I know Malfoy, then he's probably saving all his insults for something really big.

Last night, though, he did something that amazed me - he asked me to meet him somewhere, and he actually did it nicely, without threats or seduction. Well, apart from the Mudblood bit, but I'm used to that from him. It's getting a bit old, because he doesn't usually say it like he used to. It's more like a bad nickname now. Ewwww. Malfoy giving me nicknames. Rather yuck to think about.

I wonder what he's got planned for me... but whatever it is, it's probably revenge. Ha! If he tries anything, I'll hex the shit - sorry for the bad language, people - out of his sorry arse. And while I'm meeting him, I might as well perform the next plan (this one will hopefully agonize him so much that he'll want to stay in the Hospital Wing for a long time).

_--- Plan 5: Kick Malfoy in the crotch_

_When: During our meeting_

_Why: For my list, of course. I have loads left to do._

_How: Um, does this even need an explanation? Locate crotch, lift foot, kick as hard as possible. Enjoy shriek of pain and run off before the victim can cast Avada Kedavra on you._

The next day passes in a blur. I can remember vague bits of it, like when Ron got hung upside-down for trying to feed the giant squid one of my old house elf hats (I had to give up knitting them because of my contract with Harry and Ron, but they haven't really been a great help...), and when Ginny and Harry were practically hugging each other, they were laughing so hard. Me, I was pursing my lips and muttering about how I would get Ron back as I retrieved the soggy hat from near the squid's mouth. Eventually after that, Ron was released and the squid sank back under the surface, with something close to amusement on its face.

Dinnertime soon comes, and throughout the whole meal Harry and Ron try to talk me out of meeting Malfoy. "For all you know, he could rape and murder you!" Harry yells. Several people turn to stare at him. He blushes but still gazes at me fiercely. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to go, Hermione. It's not safe. Especially in the hardly-used hallways around the Transfiguration room... if you scream, I bet no one will hear you."

I roll my eyes. "You've been watching way too many dark Muggle movies, Harry. Don't worry. I can take him on. After all, I'm not dumb enough to go there unprepared, without my wand."

Ginny nods. "Yeah. You know 'Mione, she's got a bank of curses and hexes she can perform in the blink of an eye. Malfoy and anyone else with him wouldn't stand a chance if they tried anything on her."

I beam at her. "See? Even Ginny knows. So you guys should have all realized that by now."

"But..." Ron falters when he sees the stony look on my face. "Well, alright. Just let us tag behind you and watch. If anything happens and you can't handle them on your own, you know we'll be there to help you out." He shudders slightly at what Harry had said. "Don't worry... we won't let him rape and murder you, 'Mione! We'll kick his ferret ass before he can get his hands on you."

"Thanks, guys." I smile at my friends, feeling extremely glad that I have such great friends.

As I walk towards the Transfiguration class, I start wondering about Malfoy's transformation during the summer. What had happened to make him so good-looking now, so much that nearly every girl in the whole school was falling head over heels for just a second look at him? So many girls gathered around him at mealtimes to flirt and giggle with him that the Slytherins were constantly scowling (even more than before - yes, I know, unbelievable) because they couldn't find places to sit and get to the food.

Had he gone through plastic surgery in the holidays? Nah, I don't think so. I doubt purebloods like him would ever do anything vaguely Muggle-ish, apart from maybe beauty treatments...

Wait. Isn't plastic surgery considered a form of beauty treatment? Oh God. My head is so full of random thoughts. It's probably better if I just ask him, rather than go through all the possibilities. And like they say, sometimes the truth is even more wild than fiction.

"What are you thinking, 'Mione?" comes a voice from behind me. I nearly scream as someone bumps into my back. "Ouch! Too close."

I spin around to see Harry, Ron and Ginny tailing me - about a metre away. "Not that close!" I yell. "I said you could tag behind me, but I didn't say you were meant to follow me like a trail of ants! Get back around the corner, we're nearly there. If you three are in view, Malfoy won't tell me what he was meaning to."

"Since when did you care what Malfoy says?" grumbles Ron, but he obeys me and disappears around the previous corner and flashes me a thumbs-up. I take that as a sign that I can start moving again and quickly walk towards the Transfiguration classroom.

To my surprise, Malfoy is already there. He is leaning against the wall next to the door, and looking extremely hot.

Gah! What am I thinking? Ferret-thing, hot! That is something Pansy would say, but not me. I shake my head quickly.

Malfoy spots me as I approach. He gives me a lazy smile. "So. You did come. Brave of you, H- Granger."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Who said you could start calling me by my first name?"

"Who said I was calling you by your first name?" he scowls, running a hand through his messy but sexy hair.

STOP IT! Stop thinking like that!

"OK. Save the insults for later. But first, I want to ask you a question." I take a deep breath. "How come your looks changed so much during the summer? Before, no girl would look twice at you - apart from Pansy - but now you've got them lined up at your door. Did you have plastic surgery? Cosmetic spells? What?" Alright, so that part about the girls looking twice at him isn't exactly true. He'd already had loads of girlfriends and admirers before, but compared to now, the amount is measly.

He laughs, and glances around the hallway quickly. I can hardly believe I'm actually having a sane and completely polite conversation with Malfoy, but I guess there's a first time for everything. And why's he looking around so nervously? "You want to know?" he asks.

I scowl. "If I didn't, would I have asked? Really - that was such a dumb question."

"Fine, don't get snappy, or I won't give you an answer." He sighs. "Alright. Listen up. You know my name, Draco?"

I nod. "Yeah." I want to make a smart reply but I decide now is not the time for it.

"It means dragon. Not that you didn't know that already... know-it-all," he sneers, but continues the explanation quickly when I give him a powerful glare. "I was named that because of a certain drink that I was fed when I was born. Three guesses what it was."

I think for a moment. "Dragon pee?"

He looks outraged. "What the fuck! Hell, no! That's one. Two more guesses."

"I know, I know. I was just playing dumb. Dragon blood, right?"

He nods. "Yes. You know the effects it has on babies. Well, what it really does is do what the parents wish for the child's appearance. My parents wished for me to grow normally until I was 16. Then, my looks would become the best that it could with my current genes." He pauses when he sees my eyes widen. "You understood that, right?"

"Of course," I scoff, folding my arms. "I read about dragon blood and its uses and effects in _Of Dragonlore and Dragonbane_, a book I got from Professor Sprout."

Malfoy rolls his eyes. "I should have known. There probably hasn't been a book that you haven't dug your nose into."

I look offended at his remark. "Hey, at least that means I have something between my ears. Get on with the story."

"Alright, alright." He glances around again before speaking. "However, soon after the transformation last summer, mother and father realized that the dragon blood had been a waste of galleons. A friend of theirs, who could predict what someone would look like in the future, told them that I looked exactly like I should have. My current image was what she had seen me like on my 17th birthday, after looking into the future for me a few years back."

I slowly acknowledge this. "Ah. A witch gifted with foresight. Too bad they can't look into the future and see what you'll do for a living. I'd love to know."

"You know they can't do that. If they do, they'd be meddling with fate and choosing your path for you. And if you didn't follow the path they made for you, then many others would have been affected by your choice." Malfoy shrugs. "It's complicated. That's why many witches and wizards who have foresight choose to ignore the ability and let it recede with age."

"I... see. So that's why," I murmur. "You reached the height of your physical appearance earlier than you should have."

"That's right. And that means, I'll also preserve it for longer," he adds. "That's about the only good thing about wishing with dragon blood."

I start to giggle. He glares at me, with a questioning look. "That means you'll have girls all over you for longer!" I say, grinning. "I can imagine it now... 'Draco Malfoy, one of the most sought after men in the wizarding world, has sadly perished because he was ambushed by a hoard of screaming fangirls, who promptly suffocated him by non-stop kissing.'"

He does the finger, but then he sees someone coming behind me and freezes. I hear him taking out his wand and muttering something. "Heyy... you're not going to try and hex me, are you?" I demand, and something shuffles in the corner where my friends are hiding. "'Cos I hope you're not stupid enough to try that again." I start to take out my wand.

Malfoy rolls his eyes at me. "Honestly, Pansy, you know you can't hex me, baby. Hello, Blaise. Here she is." He smirks at me. "Pansy, you're in for a treat."

Blaise Zabini, one of the more popular and handsome Slytherins (too bad he swings both ways), smiles and stands a bit away from us, a eager look on his face. "Well. Then you might as well get started, Draco," he says quietly. Then he turns to me, and smiles. "Hello, Pansy. This is gonna be great to watch. Hah!"

I stare at him. "Huh?" I manage to croak. "I'm no-"

But before I can manage anything else, Malfoy is upon me, his lips locking with mine in a deep kiss. My eyes widen and I stare at him as he pulls me towards him and puts one hand on the back of my head, in my hair, and the other around my back. I struggle a bit, but he chose his arm positions well and firmly stops my squirming. "Don't move, Granger," he hisses as we pause a second for breath, and then he kisses me again.

Behind me, I can hear someone swearing under their breath, and the sound of fighting. Oh, no! Maybe it is Harry and them. If they are still watching, then they should have knocked Malfoy out as soon as he put his mouth on mine, but I can't feel anyone trying to pull me away from him.

And as much as I hate to say it - Malfoy is a great kisser and I am in girl heaven. I mean, who wouldn't want to be kissed by the Slytherin sex god, even if they are one of his greatest enemies?

However, all my fluffy girly thoughts disappear when he forces open my lips. At first, I don't think much of it, but when he starts to put his tongue into my mouth, I suppress a scream and struggle harder than ever. But to no avail - he is much too strong, and he looks as though he is vaguely enjoying it. Blaise whistles and claps. Malfoy doesn't stop and continues playing tongue tennis for another whole minute.

When my tongue gets too tired from trying to force his out (and thus looking as though I am responding to his french kiss), I suddenly remember my plan. Of course! My arms may be trapped, but my legs aren't. I glance sideways to see that Blaise looks as though he is thoroughly enjoying the scene and is standing with a big smirk on his face. Ha. He won't be smirking for long. And as much as I hate - er, love to disrupt the show, I have to do it.

I loosen my tongue and Malfoy pauses for breath. Quickly I take this moment to pull back and perform a spectacular kick to his crotch. His eyes widen in pain and he doubles over, groaning. "Ooooooaaaaaouuuughhh... oooooohhh fuck that hurts... GRANGER! Get your ass back here!" he howls, and Blaise quickly rushes over to help him. "Why... you little..."

I grin at him. Blaise looks very confused. "Granger? Isn't that Pansy you were kissing?" A moment later, he suddenly smiles as the answer dawns on him. "Ahhh, of course. Granger's been hurting you so much that whenever you're in pain, the first name you curse is hers! Oh, you poor thing, you."

I nearly fall over after hearing his reasoning. "Er, yes! Poor Draco! Hahaha. Hehehe. Um, got to go now! Bye, folks!"

Blaise stares at me as he helps Malfoy up. Draco has a murderous look on his face as he groans and bends over again. "Pansy's acting rather strange today... sure you took all your medicine this morning, Parkinson?"

"Of course," I roll my eyes and quickly rush off before Blaise can suspect anything else. So Draco had cast a concealing spell on me before Blaise had seen me. Clever of him. Blaise thought he was snogging Pansy, when really it was me under the concealment. I don't know why Draco didn't just go and find the real Parkinson, but I don't blame him for not wanting to kiss her. I mean, Pansy is the sluttiest girl in Hogwarts, and everyone knows it. A mere kiss with her could turn into a full-on shagging session, especially when it comes to someone like Malfoy.

And yes. I am going to call him Draco from now on. Malfoy is such a mouthful, and... well, I think the name 'dragon' suits him better.

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OK people... I admit, I don't have any experience in kissing, therefore I do not know how to describe a french kiss. Sorry if it was too vague or not quite right. You'll have to make do with that description in this chapter. :D

Apart from that... I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Gee, I can tell this story is going to be long... there's still five whole ways to go! Oh well. Please don't stop reading, everyone, or I don't think I can finish this.

Thank you! -Hugs and kisses-

PS: Is Blaise Zabini a girl or a boy? I'm pretty sure he's a boy. But some people said Blaise is a girl. O.o Which is s/he? And if there's proof of whatever gender s/he may be in the book, can you please point it out to me?


	18. Chapter 18: Ron

Whoa! Last time I counted, I got more than 40 reviews for chapter 17! Wow! -Faints in shock- -Revives in order to bring you the next chapter-

& hopefully you'll enjoy...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 18

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RON

Wow. He actually did it.

Harry finally asked my little sister out.

Well, kinda... I mean, he did say that Hermione and I would be coming along too. So it's not like they'd be alone together or anything. But still! He did it without stopping halfway and running off! That's pretty good for someone who's been feeling protective of Ginny since he rescued her in his 2nd year, and has been too shy to tell her his feelings for, um, 4 years. Which is a very long time.

Who'd have thought the most famous boy in the magical world would be afraid to ask a girl out?

"OK, Harry. She said yes. What now?" This is Hermione.

Harry shrugs. "I dunno."

I narrow my eyes at Hermione. She narrows hers back at me. "What?" she demands - rather defensively, I think. Or maybe that's just my imagination.

"You still haven't told us what you and Malfoy got up to last night," I say, absently scratching my nose with my quill. I dip it into the ink pot and resist from scratching my nose any longer, because then it would be stained black. I dab the excess ink onto a tissue and start copying down the paragraph from the History of Magic book. "Gargh, this is so boring."

"You were there. You saw. Nothing happened," she answers, but doesn't meet my eye as I glance up to look at her. "Well, too bad if it's boring, Ron. You've got to finish it. It's due tomorrow morning! I mean, Professor Binns was actually nice enough to let you have one more night to complete it. Even though tomorrow is Saturday."

Harry grins. "Your fault for not doing any of it in the three days he gave you to complete it. I mean, three whole days to copy down a few paragraphs relevant to the history of magical pets and how Muggles viewed them. That's nothing. You should see Hermione's homework planner. Man, is it full..."

Hermione laughs. "And strangely, I get it done, too. Unlike some people here."

"Don't try to change the subject from your date with Ginny, Harry - and for you, Malfoy." I finish the sentence and check to make sure I didn't make any mistakes in copying. "Last night, when we were looking out for you, a couple of Slytherins ambushed us from behind a statue. Now you tell us what was going on. The last thing I saw was... hmmm, Blaise walking in. When an infamously bisexual Slytherin walks into a meeting between you and Malfoy, it can't be good." I glare at my friends, one of whom blushes furiously and looks away, coughing delicately, and the other glares right back at me.

"What happened between me and Malfoy is none of your business," she snaps, before realizing the tone of her voice and what she had said. Harry stares at her.

"What's with you, 'Mione?" he asks, surprised. "Ron was just worried about you. That's all. There's no need to get angry."

I nod. "Yeah. If there's anything wrong, you can tell us."

Hermione stands up, and slaps the table. "I wasn't angry!" Yeah, right. "Just leave me alone, OK? I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me! Nothing happened in that meeting. Nothing!" she yells before stomping off into her dormitory. Several people nearby turn their heads to glance at us and whisper among themselves. One murderous look from me and Harry quickly sends them back to what they were talking about before.

"Gee... I wonder what happened last night," I muse. "Must have been pretty bad for her to react like this from a simple question."

Harry shakes his head. "If it was that bad, I'm not sure I want to know."

The next day, we wait for Hermione in the common room for about an hour before giving up and heading to the Great Hall for some breakfast. Throughout the whole day, there is no sign of her. When I ask Ginny what is wrong with Hermione, she shrugs. "I haven't seen her since after breakfast. She said something about going to the library to finish off homework. That's not really a unusual thing for her, so I didn't think it was suspicious or anything."

As Harry comes up from behind me, Ginny sees him and goes bright red. "Er, um... hi, Ginny!" he says, a tad too brightly, when I elbow him in the ribs.

Ginny giggles. "Hello! Well, I've got to go. See you later! We're going to Hogsmeade at 2pm today, right?"

Harry and I nod. "That's right. If Hermione's not around by then, we'll have to go without her," I grimace. "As much as I'd hate for that to happen... but we can't really quit this 'date', right?"

She punches me in the arm rather hard, and frowns. "Aw. Do we have to? It'll be really sad to go without her." Translation: No! I don't want to be alone with my brother and the guy I really like! What if I do something stupid? There won't be another girl to tell me what to do!

Yeah, you may think it's odd that I understand basic girl speak. But I have been living with a sister for 15 years. 13 years since she started talking. So that's a pretty long time to get to know what girls actually mean when they say something.

Slowly the hours tick by. Harry keeps glancing at his watch and shooting worried looks at the portrait-hole, as if expecting Hermione to crawl through it and come in, beaming, any minute now. At first he frantically suggests we look for her, but Ginny tells him not to. If Hermione wanted to be left alone, then it is best to leave her be. When she is ready to face us and tell us what happened, she would. But in her own time. So in the end we settle for asking Nearly Headless Nick to wander around the school and tell us if he sees her anywhere.

But as 2 o'clock comes, there is still no sign at all of Nick or Hermione herself. Sighing, I stand up. "2pm, guys. Time to go. Looks like Hermione won't be joining us."

Ginny looks remorseful as she puts on a coat. We head out with the rest of the students going for a hot glass of Butterbeer at Three Broomsticks, or going to buy sweets from Honeydukes. The rest of the people are probably going to see the rest of the places, like the Shrieking Shack, Post Office or the joke shop. Too bad we already know the secret of the shack, or it would have been another place on our must-visit list for our trips to Hogsmeade.

"Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer?" I suggest as we head down the street. The other two nod numbly. Both are shocked that Hermione would actually miss their first 'date'. To be honest, I am very surprised, and a little angry, at her stubborneness. What was so bad that she couldn't tell us, and instead had a big fit over it? I suspect she is overreacting about the whole situation.

We walk slowly into the bar, and find an empty table near the back of the room, as usual. Ginny rubs her hands, even though it isn't all that cold. Harry looks like he wants to hold them to keep them warm, but doesn't have the guts to grab her hands. I stand up to take a look around, in case Hermione has decided to come after all. She does know that we would be stopping here first thing, and I am pretty sure that she knows the time we would be coming, too.

Nothing. I sigh. Oh well. I didn't really expect anything...

"I'm going to buy drinks," I inform the two, who are deep in conversation. About what, I wouldn't know. At least they're talking, and awkward silences seem to be few and far between their bursts of animated speech. Harry looks up and smiles, and Ginny gives me a quick nod.

"Thanks. Here's six galleons for the drinks." Harry looks at Ginny briefly before turning back to me. "It's on me."

Ginny tries to protest, but Harry shakes his head. "I guess that means I owe you another present at Christmas," I mumble good-naturedly and walk off to buy the Butterbeers.

"Hello there... Mr Weasley, is it?" Madam Rosmerta says cheerfully as I approach.

I blush slightly. "That's right, Madam. How are you?"

She giggles. "I'm great. Nice weather, isn't it? Now what would you like, Ronald?"

I grimace at the name, but hide it under a weak smile. "Three Butterbeers, if you don't mind."

Madam Rosmerta nods. "Of course. No problem." She takes out a large jar of Butterbeer and three glass cups, and starts pouring the drinks.

At that moment, the door to the Three Broomsticks slams open.

Most people keep on talking, but Rosmerta glances up quickly. "Oh! Mr Malfoy. How nice to see you again. Please take a seat."

Upon hearing that, I decide not to turn around and see Malfoy's stupid smirk (TM). It is what she says next that makes me turn around very sharply, eyes bulging. "Good day to Miss Granger and Mr Zabini, too! What would you like, you three?"

"Hermione!" I shout as I spot her standing calmly among the Slytherins. She sees me and her eyes grow wide.

"Oh! Ron...! I didn't think you'd come here first thing," she exclaims, turning pink. Behind her, Blaise smiles at me, and puts a hand on her shoulder in a rather seductive manner. Hermione glares at him and he quickly takes his hand off and coughs lightly. Several groups of girls around Blaise and Malfoy wink at them. Blaise (that shameless flirt... just because he has a nice face and money! Some people have all the luck...) goes off and starts talking to them, occasionally resting a hand on one of the girls' knees or shoulders.

"Surprised to see her with us, Weasel?" Malfoy drawls after ordering drinks, and smiles at Madam Rosmerta, who flushes and smiles widely back. "Didn't think we'd sink as low as to hang out with her, did you?"

At this comment, Hermione kicks him hard in the shins, and by the looks of his expression, it must have hurt. Ha! He deserves it for insulting her so much. Though it is quite strange. What is she doing with them, anyway? Did she ditch us for them? No way. Hermione wouldn't do that. She's a loyal friend, that much I know from being her best friend for over five years. "Ron, don't listen to that meathead. I came with them to find you. Since you were coming here, anyway..." she trails off when she realizes that she is explaining herself into a corner. "The point is, I found you guys." Hermione looks around. "Where's Harry and Ginny? Don't tell me they've already snuck into somewhere secluded."

I laugh. "Not likely. They're having a heated conversation about Quidditch. The best thing to get them started, I suppose..." I point to the corner, where our table is. I thank Madam Rosmerta and, with the help of Hermione, carry the mugs of Butterbeer over.

When I turn I bump into Malfoy and Blaise. "What are you two doing?" Hermione says, annoyed. "This is our table."

Malfoy pretends to look hurt. "Oh, you're so ungrateful, Granger. We offer to take you along to Hogsmeade, and this is the thanks we get?"

She gives him an angry look, but relents and shrugs. "Well, do what you want. Mind you, this table won't be too interesting for girl-fanatics like you. Maybe the other groups of girls-" she points at the young women Blaise had just been flirting with - "-will be better company for the likes of you."

"What if we want to stay?" Blaise says loftily, glancing at Harry and Ginny, who are still talking. Ginny has this big smile on her face, and Harry looks like he is about to burst with glee. Well. I don't blame him. He's finally on a date and talking with the girl he's liked for how long.

"Then stay. But I warn you, we'll be leaving soon. You can stay here, but we won't be." I smile viciously at him. He looks a little taken aback at the venom in my voice (yes, I did learn that from Hermione) but recovers quickly and puts on that famous smile that so many girls find mysterious, slightly smirky and very sexy. Though not as sexy as Draco Malfoy's smirk, of course. That expression attracts so many girls, it should be illegal. I mean, there are other boys apart from him, you know!

Hermione grins at me. We proceed to talk as if the Slytherins are not there. After a while, there are three groups of people talking at our table, two groups occasionally merging to have a group conversation: Hermione and I, Harry and Ginny, plus the other two extras, Blaise and Malfoy. They talk in whispers, and only occasionally shoot glares in our direction.

When we finish our Butterbeers, Ginny proceeds to stand up. "Let's go! We should visit Honeydukes. I hear they're giving out samples of their newest sw...!"

But she doesn't finish her sentence, because, to the shock of all nearby, Blaise has walked up and kissed her on the lips. Harry's jaw is literally dropping wide open. I stare at the two kissing. Hermione has an angry expression on her face, and is standing up to get the slimy git off her friend. Ginny looks surprised and a bit blank, and Blaise has his eyes closed, as if he's enjoying it.

A moment later, he steps back and breaks the kiss. Ginny is still blank and doesn't seem to have realized what has happened. "Ginny!" Hermione shrieks, and she snaps back to reality.

"Yeah? What happened? The last thing I remember was Blaise... OMFG!" Her eyes widen and the first thing she does is to glance back at Harry, who looks at her blandly. "I'm so sorry, Harry! I didn't even realize what happened!"

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks, a forced smile on his face. "It wasn't your fault." Harry may be famous, but he's not exactly good at covering up his feelings. It's obvious he's very mad at what happened, partly because he was probably hoping to kiss her on the date, but also because of all the righteous crap - kissing somebody when you don't like them is wrong, etc.

I turn to Blaise and give him a withering look. "Why you little..." I hiss as I grab the front of his robes. "You interrupted my best friend and my little sister's date! You kissed my sister in front of Harry, who is technically her boyfriend! You are going to get the beating of your life if you don't get your sorry ass out of here, NOW!" I roar the last part, and Malfoy seems rather surprised at this display of anger. Blaise looks practically terrified.

"OK, OK! Calm down, Weasley. It was a dare, alright? I was dared to kiss your sister in front of Potter. I didn't do it because I wanted to, you know. I mean, she is a Weasley... hahah." He laughs nervously but whimpers as I raise a fist.

"Boys! Stop fighting this instant!" Madam Rosmerta's voice calls out. "If you must fight, do it outside!"

Hermione rolls her eyes at this. "Talk about selfish. Ron, Blaise, break it up. Don't fight here. We're already causing a scene." Ginny is holding on to Harry, whose smile is a little strained. Reluctantly, at my sister's pitiful puppy expression, I let go of Blaise and give him a dirty look. "OK, Draco. What is all this about?" She folds her arms and looks up at Malfoy, who sneers.

"Oh, it was nothing. Simply a game of Truth or Dare. Blaise was lucky enough to be dared to kiss Weaslette in front of Potty. My personal treat. I hope you enjoyed that kiss, Ginny, because you won't be getting another one from a Slytherin for the rest of your life. I'm afraid you'll have to settle for wimpy little Gryffindor boys." He smirks at Hermione, pats her on the cheek, and leaves. "Come on, Blaise, your dares are done. Let's go back to Hogwarts. It's getting a bit cold out here."

Hermione gapes at him. "Who gave you the authority to touch me and then just leave?" she yells. By now, the whole bar is watching us from their tables, like this is some kind of Muggle TV show. Malfoy stops at the doorway and gives her one last smirk before closing the door.

We all sit down slowly, each mentally murdering Malfoy and Blaise for ruining the date. After a while of silence, in which the rest of the bar stops staring at us and the noise level rises again, I speak up, feeling rather dazed.

"Can someone tell me what that was all about?"

Because really... I don't remember inviting those two to come to Hogsmeade with us. And why was Hermione with them, anyway? She was explaining, but then she just stopped. I wonder what she's hiding from us. She didn't seem like she knew about this whole Blaise-kissing-Ginny thing, because when I looked at her when Blaise snogged Ginny, she looked as shocked as the rest of us.

Just what is going on around here between Hermione and Malfoy's gang? I, for one, definitely would like to know. And I have a funny feeling Harry would, too. Especially the Blaise bit...

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And so, Blaise carries out his dare... in front of Harry... who is definitely not pleased. :D Hehe.

Stay tuned for the next chapter. It's the holidays right now (for two weeks), w00t, so I might be able to update faster. I'm not sure. It really all depends on my inspiration to write.

Remember, reviews speed up the updating process. ;3


	19. Chapter 19: Draco

To those who didn't understand the Pansy part last chapter, please read chapter 16. That should be a Draco POV. After reading it you will probably understand the situation better. :D

I already had an explanation for Hermione being with them in my head, but after reading all those people's reviews, wanting to know why she was at Hogsmeade with Draco and Blaise, the explanation seemed a bit weak... O.o But anyway, hopefully it will satisfy you guys for now... hehe.

BTW, credit for some of the ideas in the howler goes to Farangis. I read their fic, Owl Posts, and loved it!

& here we go...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 19

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DRACO

Phew. Blaise nearly saw through my deceiving spell, thanks to Granger's very un-Pansy-like behavior. But good thing she ran off before he could suspect anything. If he knew he'd been tricked... I shudder to think what he'd make me do. There are many ways of punishing someone who backed out of a dare, and I am pretty sure Blaise is familiar enough with the game Truth or Dare to know at least half a dozen of them.

I have a funny feeling though, that whatever he decides to do, the real Pansy will enjoy it very much.

I shiver, even though the Slytherin common room is very warm with its fireplace roaring with orange flames. Crabbe and Goyle are busy fighting over the last of the cookies some house elf had kindly put on a table, thanks to my polite request that they give something for those two morons to do while hanging around here. I mean, homework is out of the question. I doubt they could concentrate long enough to complete one paragraph of an essay.

Which is why I always tell them to bully a 2nd or 3rd year to do their essay for them. With their bulk and threatening faces, no younger witch or wizard can refuse them. If they do, they're in for a beating, something that those two are actually good at. Too bad they can never catch Potter... he always seems to manage to outrun them. The other two of the 'Golden Trio' don't run nearly so fast, but Weasley is pretty good at fighting. The other one? Under my special orders, they are not to touch her.

After all, she's mine to annoy.

"Draco! There's no more food left," Crabbe whines. I fling a cushion at him, and it hits him square on the forehead. Just as well I didn't throw a spellbook, or he'd be in the Hospital Wing, twitching, by now. Goyle laughs stupidly a few seconds after the cushion falls to the floor. Man, talk about slow.

"Blaise and I are going to Hogsmeade in an hour," I snap at him. "I'll bring you back all the sweets you want."

Crabbe and Goyle cheer. I roll my eyes. Honestly. Do they even have a part of their brain that doesn't think about food all the time? I suppose they must have both been Siamese twins joined by the head at birth, and when they were separated, the other twins got both brains. Crabbe and Goyle were left with a few stray brain cells, or so it seems. I open my Transfiguration book and flip to the more advanced spells, scanning the page for ones that turned things to their true forms. Maybe if I cast that kind of spell on those two, they might turn into gorillas.

"Yo, Draco. You ready to go?" Blaise's voice floats into my thoughts.

I look up and give him a killer smile. "Of course. I'm always ready to go." Which was true. I always wear designer clothes, even for casual outfits, and my hair always appears either tidy (when I bother to brush it), or messy. Girls seem to like the latter style better. Which is why I've given up brushing my hair until I wash it.

Blaise blinks and blushes. I groan and look away. He's a nice guy and all, but sometimes this whole bisexual thing really drives me nuts.

"OK, man. Let's go then." He makes his way to the entrance. I put away my Transfiguration book and follow him, giving one last glance at Crabbe and Goyle to make sure they aren't taking turns eating everything in sight. I still want to keep my owl, you know.

As we pass the library, something with brown curly-ish hair runs right into me. I am winded for a second, but quickly recover to see that the bumper is none other than Hermione Granger. "Ouch!" she complains, rubbing her head. "What was- oh... my God." When she sees me, her eyes grow wide. "Whoops."

I fold my arms lazily. "'Whoops' is right. What are you doing running around, anyway? Shouldn't you be in there?" I jerk my thumb over my shoulder towards the library.

She huffs indignantly. "I may be a bookworm, but I don't live there, you know."

"Where's Potty and Weasel, then?" I ask. Blaise looks at us interestedly, swiveling his head to look at whoever is talking.

Granger stops and glares at me. Then, she sighs. "I... don't know."

Doesn't know? They're her best friends, for fuck's sake! How can you not know where your best friends are? My hunch is that they're in the Gryffindor common room, looking for her. Though I can't imagine why they would think she'd be hiding there, of all places. "Riiiight."

"It's true!" she yells. Blaise looks alarmed and takes a step back.

I raise an eyebrow. "No need to get angry, Granger. Where do you think they are?"

"We were going to go to Hogsmeade right about now," she says, after a slight pause. "Maybe I'll find them there..."

I look over at Blaise. "Is Weasel's little sister there, too?" I ask her nonchalantly.

She narrows her eyes at me. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," I reply innocently. Hmmm. So Ginny Weasley is going to be there with Potter and Weasley. This could be the perfect chance for Blaise to get his dare over and done with, if we get the timing right and find them. "Wait a sec. I need to talk to Blaise." Quickly I grab his arm and drag him over to one side, aware of Granger's hawk-like gaze. "Did you hear that? Ginny's going to be there. This could be a chance for you to kiss her in front of Potter and Weasley. For your dare."

Blaise nods. "Sounds good. But Hogsmeade is huge. Where do you think they'll be?"

"Just hang around Three Broomsticks. They're bound to go there. Too cold not to." I straighten and turn back to Granger, a big grin on my face. She looks frightened. I quickly wipe the grin off and replace it with a smirk instead. She sighs in relief and looks normal again. "Right... Granger, we're going to Hogsmeade too. If you want to... uh, come with us, you can. Just don't get in the way."

"Eh?" Blaise exclaims. "Why is she coming? I thought you hated her."

I clamp a hand over his mouth and shove him back. "Shut up! I just feel sorry for her, that's all. If you open your big mouth and say something like that again, I'll Spellotape your lips together," I whisper into his ear. He nods furiously and I let him go. He staggers around, gasping for breath like a fish out of water.

Hermione - no, Granger, giggles and then stifles her laughter. "Why are you letting me come with you?" She smiles. "And have you thought about the fact that I might not want to come?"

I shrug as coolly as I can, but inside I am rather pissed off at being rejected by a girl. A bookworm, at that. God. Embarassing. "If you don't want to come, I'll just go and tell your friends that you ditched them and are wandering around, giggling, with Pansy's gang," I sneer.

"What!" she shouts. "I'd do no such thing!"

"Oh, but Potty and Weasel don't know any better. After all, it looks like you've been fighting, haven't you?" I smirk as she gapes at me. Obviously my words have struck a nerve and, most likely, were true. "Don't tell me you've really been fighting?" I flick her hair. She flinches and takes a step back. "So much for the Golden Trio. At this rate, you won't last very long."

Granger grinds her teeth. "OK, you got me. I'll come." She mutters under her breath about something that sounds like 'blackmail', and trails along beside us. People who are passing by goggle at the scene; Hermione Granger, walking alongside Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. And plus, we aren't even screaming insults at each other. A nice change, in my opinion. I am sick of getting sore throats whenever I come in screaming vicinity of her.

We arrive in Hogsmeade half an hour later. Granger shivers and draws her cloak tighter around herself. I bare my teeth at the howling wind and immediately it calms a little bit. Blaise stares at me in wonder. Granger just edges away. "What?" I say irritatedly. "Not my fault even the wind is afraid of me."

"I don't know what kind of wizard you are, but you sure are influential." She looks over at me. "Must be the dragon blood. I heard dragons can command the elements."

I am surprised that she knows that fact. No, wait - I'm not surprised. This is Hermione we're talking about here. No doubt she knows stuff like that. "Hm. Maybe." I glance at Blaise, who is walking beside me silently. Now that is amazing. Usually Blaise is a chatterbox; not as chatty as chatterbox women, but pretty talkative for a guy. "Where to, Blaise?"

He looks up. "Three Broomsticks. Isn't that what you said?"

"Oh, yeah. OK. Three Broomsticks it is." I ignore Granger, who rolls her eyes at my apparent forgetfulness. Bloody hell, I just wanted to play nice and ask for someone else's opinion, and she takes it the worst possible way. I'm not old and bald yet. My memory hasn't started failing me.

A few moments later I push open the door to the bar. Madam Rosmerta spots us and gives me a dazzling smile. "Oh! Mr Malfoy. How nice to see you again. Please take a seat." A familiar looking head is turned away from us, but there is no mistaking that red hair. I smirk. Is Weasley trying to hide from us?

"Good day to Miss Granger and Mr Zabini, too! What would you like, you three?"

At this sentence, The Mysterious Redhead turns around sharply, his eyes wide. "Hermione!" Granger looks amazed and, after giving me a look that I suppose was thankful, joins her friend.

"Surprised to see her with us, Weasley?" I drawl after I tell Rosmerta what drinks I'd like. "Didn't think we'd sink as low as to hang out with her, did you?" Suddenly I feel a sharp kick to my shins. Fucking hell! That hurt. I glare at Granger, who 'hmphs' and looks away. Goddamn that woman. If she wasn't so... so likeable, I'd have taken care of her ages ago. Being a good kisser also makes me hesitate to punish her too badly.

After Granger and Weasley leave, I nudge Blaise and nod towards the table Weasley and Granger sit down at. He cranes his neck and looks over to see Ginny Weasley, seated opposite Potter. He grins. "Great. This should be easy. Come on, Draco." He grabs my wrist and pulls me over. I shudder slightly at practically holding hands with a bisexual boy, but endure it in a very Malfoy manner.

As we arrive at the table, a series of event happen very fast; Granger and I exchange a few words, and before any of them can realize what has happened, Blaise grabs Ginny and kisses her full on the lips. Weasley swears and attempts to strangle Blaise, but Granger breaks it up. Throughout the whole time, Potter doesn't do much except gape and stand up a few times. Hah! What a coward. Doesn't even have the guts to stop a guy kissing his girlfriend.

When Hermione asks for an explanation, I proceed to tell them about the dare. Blaise grins triumphantly from behind me. I resist the urge to give him a black eye, his smile is so infuriatingly smug. After I am done explaining, I smirk at the shocked group and pat Hermione on the cheek. Believe it or not, she looks pretty even when she is angry. Unusual. Most girls turn to fire-breathing dragons when they lose their temper. "Come on, Blaise, your dares are done. Let's go back to Hogwarts. It's getting a bit cold out here."

She gapes at me. "Who gave you the the authority to touch me and then just leave?" she shouts at me as I push open the door. I turn back to give her one last smirk before heading outside and closing the door behind me. I start laughing as I imagine what Potter must be feeling, and give Blaise a pat on the back.

"Good job, Zabini. Can't wait to see Potter at class tomorrow. He's gonna explode!" I chuckle.

Blaise looks proud of himself. "She wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. Maybe next time I'll come back to her," he says.

I laugh. Looks like I'll be getting plenty of entertainment to watch in the next few weeks. There's Hermione Granger, who owes me for taking her to Hogsmeade; Ron Weasley, who'd be hunting Blaise and I down for kissing, and daring the other to kiss, his little sister. Most of all was Harry Potter, who'd probably murder us at any given chance. After all, who didn't know the Boy-Who-Lived's crush for years and years? "Good boy. I'll be looking forward to that."

At dinner, after my own owl delivered a few reminders from my mother, a school barn owl soars towards my table. In its claws is a blood-red envelope, which it drops in front of me. Several Slytherins nearly recognize this as a Howler. I puzzle over the possible senders and come to the conclusion that it could be none other than Potter. Quickly, I rip open the Howler as it starts burning at the corners and prepare myself for the loud voice, similar to the one Weasley had been forced to hear in his 2nd year.

What I hear, instead of making me frightened, nearly makes me pee my pants with laughter. Obviously, I don't actually wet myself. That would shame the family reputation.

"FORMER MASTER DRACO MALFOY! HOW DARES YOU DARE MASTER ZABINI TO KISSY-KISS MISS GINNY? SHE IS VERY ANGRY AND SO IS MASTER HARRY POTTER! IN FACT, DOBBY HEARS THAT MASTER POTTER PLANS TO TAKE REVENGE ON YOU! HE SAYS HE SHALL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND FEED THEM TO THE THESTRALS! HE ALSO SAYS HE WILL SLICE OPEN YOUR BOWELS, TAKE OUT YOUR HEART AND THROW YOU TO THE GIANT SQUID! MISS HERMIONE AND MASTER WEASLEY WARNS YOU TO WATCH OUT, BECAUSE THEY KNOWS MASTER POTTER IS ANGRY ENOUGH TO DO ANY OF THESE THINGS! LASTLY, DOBBY HEARS THAT MASTER HARRY SAYS 'SCREW YOU'!"

The whole hall erupts into laughter. Dumbledore looks faintly amused, but I can see that McGonagall doesn't see the funny side of it. I am howling with laughter, so hard that tears are streaming from my eyes. Oh yeah? If Potter tried to do anything to me, he'd be the one fed to the Giant Squid. I glance over at the Gryffindor table and spot Potter growing crimson, but looking at me very defiantly. Granger is spluttering on her pumpkin juice. I don't think Potter is the one who told Dobby to say these things. I wonder who it is.

However, it seems 'Harry's' revenge is not yet done. A second Howler is delivered as the first one curls up in flames and turns into ash. The owl holding it again drops it quickly in front of me and soars away, hooting in a frightened manner.

"DOBBY REMINDS MASTER MALFOY AND MASTER ZABINI THAT MASTER POTTER ADDS, 'AND I DON'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY, SO GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU'D RATHER SCREW EACH OTHER!'"

Again, the hall starts laughing, however this time not many people are laughing because most of the girls are all sighing pitifully. I slap the table and the Slytherins, and some people closest to our table, fall silent. Some of the smarter women recognize this as a sign that I am not really gay, and that crap was just something that someone invented to embarass me. Potter now has his head in his hands, but I can see he is laughing. Granger is being smacked on the back by Ron, who is grinning at her. Somehow, at this sight, my hand clenches. I don't know why, though.

Blaise looks rather happy at the prospect of screwing me, but I smack the back of his head and he quickly puts an offended expression on his face. Gods. I hope he doesn't get any funny ideas.

What was that person thinking of, using Dobby, of all creatures, to record a Howler? Most likely they don't want to let the whole school know who they are. And it has to be a person Dobby knows well and obeys without question.

Since it isn't Potter, and I doubt Ginny would do anything of the sort, that leaves two suspects: Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

It'll be fun torturing the latter one into confession, and as for her punishment? I can think of many, many ways - not all of them painful.

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Lalala... there's chapter 19. Hopefully now you get why she was with them. And Draco actually let her! Heehee.

OK... I wasn't sure what I was thinking when I wrote the Howlers. Dobby? -Grins- I guess I was going for a bit of extra humor. I dunno what I'll do for Draco torturing Hermione, though.

Please review. :D Thanks very much.


	20. Chapter 20: Harry

Hello, everyone! Wow, over 470 reviews. :D I never expected so many! Thank you, everyone! A reply for some reviewers are at the end of this chapter (that's why it's so huge).

& first, let's get on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 20

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HARRY

OK. Take a deep breath, Potter. Calm down. You know you're not that angry at Blaise. You know you aren't. Whooooooooooo. Whaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's OK. Everything's fine. Ginny's alright. Nothing has happened. Come on. You know you can forgive that slimy little git.

Oops. Let's not get too insulting, shall we? Let's... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

STUPID FARKING SLYTHERIN! STUPID ZABINI! STUPID BISEXUAL IDIOT! STUPID FREAK! STUPID FERRET, who dared him to kiss Ginny! ARGH! Damn them all! I HOPE THEY GO TO HELL! I HOPE THEY BURN ON A STICK UNTIL THEY SHRIVEL UP, AND THEN BE EATEN BY VULTURES! GAH!

Phew. That was good. Now I feel a little better.

"Um, Harry...? Are you feeling alright?" Hermione asks me worriedly. I realize I have been beating the nearest wall with my chair. Madam Rosmerta glares at me, staring at the splinters that are all that's left of what used to be a wooden chair. "I mean, you've been beating at that wall for the last ten minutes... Eek!" She ducks as I swing the chair to put it back beside the table.

I glance at her oddly. "What's wrong, Hermione? Why are you ducking?"

She breathes out and gives me a shaky smile. "N-nothing, Harry! I'm fine. How about you?"

Ron is already talking to Madam Rosmerta to try and convince her not to punish me to severely about the chair. After a few moments he comes back, beaming. "OK, Harry! She says that she won't raise a fuss about this incident, as long as you pay the full amount of money to buy a new chair. Madam Rosmerta says it costs 20 galleons for the chair. Pay her as soon as possible and she'll let you off the hook."

"Oh. Thanks, Ron. I appreciate it." I smack him on the back, perhaps a bit too cheerfully, because he makes a strangled noise and staggers off to join Hermione. I look at the pile of wood at my feet. Several customers nearby have already rushed out the door in fright, and the ones who don't want to move, but are still afraid, stare at me cautiously, ready to duck if anything flies towards them. "Hey... where did Ginny go?"

Hermione looks uncomfortable. "Well, she told us that she was too guilty to face you, so she went back to Hogwarts alone. I mean, what Blaise did was pretty mind-scarring... especially since it's Blaise and all."

Disappointment clouds my features. "Oh." I try to give a feeble smile and change the subject. "So... what should I do with these, Hermione? Take them back to Hogwarts and use them for the fire in the common room?"

Hermione shrugs, glancing at me. "I don't think that fire uses wood, but if you feel like it you can keep them..."

I shake my head. "No, I'd rather not, but it's a mess sitting here, isn't it? Someone might trip and kill themselves."

"Er, alright then. This is more practical." Hermione whips out her wand and points it at the timber, moving the broken chair with her foot so that nothing else can catch fire from it. "_Pyrifico_!" The wood instantly catches flame and starts burning very fast. A few minutes later, all that is left of the chair is a few specks of ash. Ron kicks it away into a corner, and immediately a maid appears to sweep it up.

"Shall we go?" Ron asks. I nod, and the three of us head out the door, but not before Rosmerta calls me in.

"Mr Potter! Can I have a word with you, please?"

I sigh, but oblige and head back into the warmness of the bar. "Yes, Madam Rosmerta?"

"The chair?" She raises an eyebrow. "I understand Mr Weasley told you about the costs?"

"He has," I say politely. "I am aware of the fact that I need to pay you 20 galleons as soon as possible. Is that right?"

Madam Rosmerta nods, and smiles at another customer that has just come in. "What would you like, Mr Barnes?" To me she says, "Before the next term starts, if possible. It'll give you time to visit Gringotts to take out the money. I trust that you will be prompt with the payment."

"Of course," I reply. "Now if that's all..."

"One last thing," she says, beckoning me back. "Please, Mr Potter, do not smash anymore chairs in the future, or perform anymore dangerous or violent actions in my bar. Today we've already had a public kissing session -" - I feel anger rising again at these words - "- and very nearly, a fistfight. Plus your wall-beating - I've lost many customers today, Mr Potter. Please don't make me lose anymore customers, or there won't be a Three Broomsticks in the future." She smiles at me in what I suppose is meant to be a sympathetic way. "If you have any troubles you know you can talk to any of your Professors - they'll be willing to help you."

I shudder as I imagine a counselling session with Snape:

_"Professor! I'm feeling depressed and angry."_

_"Go away, Potter, before I turn you into a pickled slug. Your personal problems are not my business. Go jump into the lake if you're depressed. God knows it'll brighten up the school."_

_"WAHHHHH! Professor, you're being mean to me! I hate you!"_

_"Yes, yes, whatever, Potter. Stop whining, you already whimper and complain enough to drive most people up the wall. It's amazing how your little friends haven't jumped off the North Tower yet."_

_"Well, they have considered it..."_

_"There you go. You might as well lead by example. Goodbye, Potter, before I blast you away with an exploding spell. I assure you it will not be a pleasant experience for you and your behind."_

_"But..."_

_"No buts, any more noise from you and I will take away so many points that you'd win the house cup if we counted how many negative points you have."_

Er, am I the only one who sees a problem with that scenario?

"Alright, Madam." Finally, I head out the door to join my friends. Urgh. What a long talk about nothing.

"What did she say?" Ron asks. "Not the money again, I hope. I told her I'd tell you."

Hermione shakes her head. "Hah! No offence, Ron - I know you used to have a little crush on her, back when you had a crush on nearly every girl - but she's kind of greedy, don't you think?"

Ron blushes furiously. "I did not use to like Madam Rosmerta! I mean, come on, she's been alive since my parents have been alive! How old is that!"

I shudder. "Very old. I remember when she talked to some teachers and Fudge about my dad when they were in Hogwarts... seems like she was working at Three Broomsticks back then too."

The three of us shudder simultaneously. It would have been a very odd sight for a passer-by, but thankfully there is no one in our immediate vicinity.

Back at the Gryffindor common room, I spot a shadow of a redhead sprinting up the Girls Dormitory stairs. "Ginny...?" I drop all my things and run after the disappearing figure up the stairs. Sadly, the no-boys magic works at that moment and the stairs turn into an obscenely smooth surface. I try to hold on but only succeed in making squeaky noises as I slide pathetically down the new ramp. Somewhere up there, someone giggles, but stops quickly. "Ginny, is that you?"

She moves out of the shadows and comes forward. Her face looks a bit stupified but other than that, normal. "Harry? Um... I'm so sorry about that... I promise, I didn't take part in any of their plans!"

I shake my head. "Don't worry. I did hear the part where Malfoy gloated about how he dared Zabini to snog you, and so he did. It's not your fault. Only Malfoy's."

Ginny looks very relieved. "Oh, thank God. I thought you were coming up here to get me."

"I'd never do something like that!" I say, a little offended that she thought I was so violent. I mean, OK, I admit it, I do get a tad angry sometimes, but really, it's not like I do anything out of the ordinary except mope around and shout a bit.

Oh, and blow people up like balloons.

And, um, occasionally casting a lot of random hexes.

Er, also, I tend to smash things a lot...

OK, forget what I said about being offended. I suppose Ginny is right. I am a bit temperamental sometimes. But I'm getting better, I swear! After all, now it's inanimate objects that I'm hitting and swearing at and hexing, not the unlucky aunt or enemy. Though I still wouldn't mind hexing Malfoy every now and then. And now Blaise Zabini too.

"Yeah, well... want to go outside and talk, Harry?" She leans out shyly from the doorway. I nod, staring up at her like Romeo at Juliet.

Ahhh, that reminds me. I wish we were Romeo and Juliet. I mean, look at their undying love for each other! Even though they're from different families that hate each other (well, my parents didn't hate Ginny's, but we are pretty different in terms of fame) they still loved the other. The only thing is that I don't want to suicide because I think Ginny's dead. And hopefully she won't suicide because I suicided because I thought she suicided.

Oh man, my head hurts from thinking so much. It's spinning. I'm bound to get a headache soon. "OK. I don't know if you'll have to slide down or what..." I point at the still-smooth surface of the once-was stairs, grinning sheepishly at her.

"Don't worry about that, Harry," she laughs. "Watch this. It only turns into a ramp when a male is nearby. When a female walks down or up from it, it'll turn to stairs again." She runs towards the ramp. I half-expect her to fall down, and shut my eyes. Seconds later, she crashes into me and we land in a tangled heap on the carpet.

Blushing crimson, Ginny quickly untangles herself and stands up. "Uh... I don't know what happened there. Maybe it was because you were there too. Looks like the ramp stays a ramp if a boy is standing anywhere near it." She grins at me. "Sorry about that, Harry. Are you hurt?" I groan as I pick myself up and nod slowly, nearly screeching as something snaps in my neck.

Hermione and Ron have long left us to talk, and my bag is left on an armchair. "Wait a sec," I say, and rush to fling my bag into my dormitory. There is quite a lot of money in there. I don't want to lose anymore, especially since last year I tipped a whole bag of money into the fountain, and the year before I gave the twins my winnings... which left me with still a fortune, but noticibly smaller than before. When I come back, Ginny is waiting at my stairs. Somehow girls can enter the boys' dormitories, but boys can't enter girls'. God. Can't we men have any privacy whatsoever?

We climb out of the portrait-hole and walk out the front door of the castle. Outside, the birds are chirping and the sun is shining again, which is marginally better than the cloudiness we had earlier. "Soo... how was it?"

She glances at me questionally as we sit down beside the lake. This is my favorite spot - I don't know Ginny's favorite spot, so mine will have to do. "How was what?"

I snort. "The kiss, of course! What else?"

"Oh, Harry! Stop being silly," she says, wiping her mouth unconsciously. "You know it was horrible. I mean, this is Blaise we're talking about here."

"You didn't seem to hate it that much," I say pointedly, and the realize how jealous I sounded. But it's too late now. I'd already said it - and quite loudly, too.

Ginny stares at me, then bursts out giggling. "Aha! You're jealous, aren't you?" She giggles again. "That's so cute!"

"Wha-! I-I'm not! I mean, uh..." I bluster, trying to cover up my outburst.

She cups my face in her hands. I instantly turn a shade of red my uncle would have been proud of. "Don't worry, Harry," she whispers, leaning close. "I like you too."

At those words, all my worries and insecurities disappear. She likes me! She really does! And she admitted it. I didn't have to tell her first or anything. That always means that a girl really does like you. Or so Hermione tells me. "Ginny-"

"Shhh," she says, and closes her eyes.

Hands sweating, I put one on her waist - only to hear Ron's voice calling out. "HARRY! Where the bloody hell are you?"

Like lightning, we break apart just as Hermione and Ron appear from around the corner. Hermione sees our flushed faces and guesses immediately what has happened - or really, was going to happen. "Ron! They're there. I told you. Now let's get going."

Ron struggles against her, looking confused. "What were you doing? Why are you both so red?"

Hermione sighs. "Ron, you numbskull. Look what you've done." To us, she gives an apologetic look.

"What did I do? God, I just came to find you, and you blame me for it?" he grumbles. "I was just worried. I mean, they suddenly just disappeared..." I can see the clockworks in his brain ticking as his mind goes over his last sentence. "Hey... what were you two doing, anyway?"

"NOTHING!" I yell. Ron looks taken aback. "Oops. Sorry. Well, let's go, Ginny. We've fed enough to the squid," I say hastily, helping her up. She hangs on to my hand a second longer than needed, and I smile back at her.

"Man, people these days," I hear Ron muttering ahead of us. "Talk about ungrateful..."

Ron, I am going to kill you. Whoops - now I'm like Hermione. There's quite a list of people for me to kill, too... but I'll save revenge for later. Right now, I'm on the top of the world! Wheeee!

Oh gods, my head hurts from all that skipping. I'd better stop. People are pointing at me and staring. Uh oh.

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And Ron ruins their first kiss (nearly)... O.o

A list of thanks! (Replies are for people who reviewed chapter 19. Beware, quite a long list!)

Lady-Crymsyn: Thank you! I've updated now. XD

Zekintha: Personally, I can't imagine Dobby yelling... well, I can a bit, and it's not very nice.

Hawaiian-Rachael: Really? Glad I made you laugh.

obseZzionZzZ: OK... breathe in... breath out...

WannaBArtist: Sure. Just wondering, is your name just a name, or do you really draw? If so, do you have a page on DeviantART?

Qira: Thank you! Have you been following my story, or have you just started reading?

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goodybad: Argh... hate school... that reminds me, school is starting again. NOOOO!

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elektrikstorm: Hmm, sexy, kinky? Sounds good... but this is a PG-13, so there won't be too many kinky stuff, but trust me, you'll get your share of it. XD

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KaTjustka: Thank you! Glad you found it funny. You'll find out who it is, eventually... (Well it is kinda predictable. -HUGE clue there-)

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showmethehobbit: Dobby ish teh cool. XD -Shows you a hobbit-

luv2dance756: You're welcome! I'm glad you understood it.

S T I L L: I love your name! It's unusual seeing a name with letters arranged like that here.

Mellem: Lol! I'd miss him too...

DaddysLiLAngel1: Owl Post rocks! I hope this wasn't too similar to it. Apart from the 2nd letter thing. Hehe!

nikethana: OK! Here it is. Hope you liked it.

xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: Thank you for another review! -Hugs- You rock. :D

AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff: You'll have to be patient for fluff... I is no good at writing fluff. But I shall keep up the humor! -Runs off from Hentai Chibis- O.o

jamesismysweetheart: Yay! Lol, looks like you enjoyed Dobby's howlers too. XD

future movie maker: Thank you!

pluto: Hehe! OK! I shall obey you... O.O

hanna: Oh, that's unusual! You liked that chapter the best? Thanks, btw.

Blue Dragon Skies: Lovely name. Arigatou for the review. Yes, logging in is a hassle...

brownbunni: Lol, there has to be a non-straight guy in a story to keep it interesting. Non-straight girls would be just gross. Thanks for the review! Hermione and her temper... -Tuts and shakes head-

xputteckx: Thanks. :D

BaYer04rulz: -Fangirls Draco as well-

camille tan: Thank you for the compliment! I'm glad my plot is good. I hope you keep reading. -Hint hint-

anonymousreader: W00t! I'm happy that my plot isn't cliche, lol. And thanks for taking the time to write a fairly in-depth review, and for reading through some of my reviews. XD

tru: Yup, most FFnet couples are either the original ones or weird ones. This is a weird couple. :D

cierra: Aww, thanks for another review. I appreciate it.

Whisper's Song: I already talked to you about the new fic, but in case you didn't get that email, I said I'd love to help. :D

DarknessHatesMe: It hates me too. I think. O.o

Anigen: I would, but there wouldn't be much to write about apart from the kissing bit. And going inside a bisexual's mind? Um... urk? Especially one around Draco. Yeouch.

Simply Hopeless: Lol! That made me grin.

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ducks-rule-world: Popcorn! Yum! I like caramel ones. -Completely off-topic- Anyway, your reviews have made me laugh! Hehehe! WAR AGAINST SCHOOL! OxO

Also thanks to:

BeautifulMisconception, anonymous, American Deer Hunter 73, Missy, trapped-in-a-dream, waterfaerie15, lilithofunderworld, Forgotten-Heart, FlairVerona, EvilsmileyfaceofDOOM, daichi, couch-potato01, jewelwhisperer, Bookworm1214, Sony, MysticStar7037, D/HR SHiPPER, Snake Misstress, CountryHermione, Sword in the Stone, kay345, spicygreensalad, Draco Malfoy, Hermy, Artemis, The Lady of the 4leafed Clover, Macey Muse, PhoenixPlume, stasha, Evie Malfoy, pink fluff, Michelle Felton, seamusismyprince, kamikazepanda, SomeOne, preciousonee, littlebozz, neear freeak, juliachan, AJ01, jOanna, Indian Ink, alygdgrl, TaKeFlIgHtDrAcOLuVr, LadyNymph, thedarkside45, Element Mage, gopha-gurl, Cataclysmic Silliness

Oops, I know I didn't actually get to where I got to in my last chapter, so you didn't get to read Harry's thoughts about the Howler, but there isn't much to say about it except he was thinking what Draco thought he was thinking.

And does anyone here actually keep their review alerts, instead of trashing them? O.o I hope I'm not the only one who makes a folder for them and keeps them, even though I can read them on my page...


	21. Chapter 21: Hermione

I'm sorry to those who find underlining to emphasize words annoying (one person said it looked like links). Just remember, you can't have links in a story chapter. Maybe that'll help. But for this story, I don't plan to move to using italics for emphasized words. You can be sure, however, that I will do that for my next story (which I am writing as well).

& wheeeee...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 21

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HERMIONE

Oh my. Harry was really pissed off at Blaise, if his behavior at Hogsmeade was any indication of his mood. He smashed a chair, for God's sake. And he didn't even seemed to realize he'd done it. Now that's scary.

But after he came back to Hogwarts, he found Ginny and they disappeared somewhere. Ron, being the protective brother and worrisome best friend, suggested that we look for him. Which we did. I knew where to look - after all, we've been friends for over five years, and I know all of Harry's favorite 'hiding' places. Under a large oak tree, on the bank overlooking the centre of the lake. It's a beautiful spot, one that I'd shown to him back when I had a little crush on him.

Don't tell anyone about that. Even if that was back in the first and second year, with the crush dissolving in the middle of the third year, it's still kinda embarassing...

"So, Ron, happy now?" I hiss to the rather thick redhead as Harry and Ginny, both beet-red when we'd found them in the action of breaking apart right before a snog, trail behind us slowly like Patroni. "You totally ruined their chance to make up after that Blaise incident."

Ron shrugs helplessly. "Sorry! I didn't know. I'm not exactly experienced about things like that." Strangely, he glances at me and turns pink. Hmm. How odd. "I guess this means they're officially a couple?" he asks, motioning behind him.

I nod. "Obviously. They should have gotten together ages ago. You can tell Harry had been itching to ask Ginny out, and she never really took any of her other boyfriends seriously." I sigh. "Poor Dean. He really did like her a lot."

"Let's hope Harry's not itching to get to second base," Ron mutters as we push open the main doors of the castle and head inside. I roll my eyes at his back and follow him, glancing back at the two to check they are still there and haven't lagged behind too much.

The next night, after the event where I asked Dobby to record a howler for me (the poor little thing didn't know what on Earth he was doing, so did it for me quite willingly) and then sending it to Malfoy at dinner, we sprawl on our favorite armchairs and just relax. It's a Saturday evening, after all; I'd done my homework in the library when I'd escaped from my friends in a moment of guiltiness. I hope Harry and Ron have written their homework down in the homework planner I bought for them. That's what it's for, after all.

"How do you plan to take revenge, Harry?" I ask him nonchalantly. I am hoping that he'll let me do the revenge, since I'm going around injuring Draco anyway. So what if I call him by his first name? It doesn't mean anything.

I think.

Harry narrows his eyes at me playfully. "You want to go and hex Malfoy and co. again, don't you?" he says, replying to my question with a question of his own. I hate it when people do that - it's like they're trying to avoid answering my question.

"Yes... and no," I say mysteriously. Ron shakes his head and Harry laughs.

Ginny, who is sitting in the armchair beside me, pinches me. I yelp and withdraw my arm quickly. "Hey, 'Mione, what's all this I hear about you and Malfoy? First you're trying to kill him, then you guys have some kind of private meeting. Days later, you appear in the Three Broomsticks with him and Blaise." She shudders at the name, but continues. "What's all this about?"

I try to give a light smile and shrug the matter off. "OK. The killing thing. I am not trying to kill him, only trying to injure him as often as possible so that he doesn't annoy the rest of the school. Second, the private meeting - he arranged it, and we didn't talk about anything other than Dragon Blood and -" I pause quickly. It would not be a good idea to tell them about that french kiss. I mean, he thought I was Pansy, and that is already insulting enough to make me keep quiet about it. No need to make anyone else pry. "Yeah, that's about it. And third, he offered to take me to Hogsmeade when I told him I was looking for you guys. Nothing special there."

Harry, Ron and Ginny all exchange surprised looks. "Malfoy offered to take you to Hogsmeade to find us?" Ron asks curiously.

"Yes," I say, rather irritably. Is he deaf or what?

Harry looks amazed. "But Malfoy never offers to do anything for anyone. Except maybe stuff their heads down the toilet. But you get my drift," he says. "He never offers to do anything positive for anyone."

"So it's quite strange that he helped you," Ginny says, a wicked gleam in her eye. I sigh. I know what she is thinking - suspecting - and it's not pleasant. "I bet he fancies you."

Ron's eyes bulge. "No way! Malfoy would never like Hermione. He goes for the all-looks and no-brains type, like Pansy."

I glare at him. "Is that meant to be an insult?"

"N-no! Of course not," he amends quickly, looking at me nervously. "I mean that Malfoy tends to like dumb girls with big chests. Not that he's the only one, of course..."

"Oh my God, Ron," I say. "I never knew you went for bimbos."

"I don't!" he argues. "I was just saying that girls like that are generally more sought after at first sight."

Ginny laughs. "Suuuuure, Ron! We believe you!"

Ron turns to glare at his little sister. "Shut up!"

"OK, break it up," Harry yells over our bickering. "Stop screaming at each other." He clears his throat and grins at me. "Hermione, I hereby grant you permission to get revenge on Blaise for me. Do whatever you want to him - and make it creative! Include Malfoy if you need to."

I give a cheer. "Yay! Thanks, Harry. You know I'll make good use of your permission." I smile. "Now go and make up with Ginny. I'll take Ron somewhere far away. After all, we have duties tomorrow night, so that gives you more time if you need." I almost giggle at Harry and Ginny's expressions. Harry's is a look of embarassment mixed with glee, and Ginny just plain glee. I have to say, that girl is pretty outgoing with her emotions. Not afraid to make the first move, that one. "Ron. Let's go and take revenge. It's nearly dinnertime."

Ron sighs but obeys, with one last glance at the couple as they sit shyly in their seats, reluctant to move until we are out of sight. Quickly I drag him through the portrait-hole and the Fat Lady's picture swings closed behind us. "So, where to?" he asks as we walk along slowly.

I shrug. "Dunno. Got a plan?" Of course, in my head I already have a plan for Malfoy, but I think Ron can have the joy of beating up Blaise if he wants.

_--- Plan 6: Get Harry's Invisibility Cloak and beat Malfoy over the head with a broom, hopefully making him get a concussion which will keep him in the Hospital Wing for days_

_When: Anytime - probably tonight_

_Why: Because he dared Blaise to kiss Ginny (thus killing the mood of the date)._

_How: Find him, put on coat, sneak after him with a broom in hand and beat him when he is out of earshot of the Great Hall. This is so that no one can hear his shrieks of pain and coming running, i.e Pansy or a teacher._

"How about we go beat up Blaise?" Ron suggests brightly. "It'll sooth me, that's for sure. Malfoy is up to you."

I beam at him. "Just what I had in mind, Ron." I make a mental note to go back to the common room later and grab the cloak. Oh wait. If I go back later, Harry and Ginny could be in the middle of a marathon snogging session. I wouldn't exactly want to barge in on them, so now would probably be good, when the two are most likely still in the talking stage of making up. "Wait a sec. I need to go back and get something."

I clamber back into the common room after reciting the password ("_Incendio Trio_") and thankfully run into Harry and Ginny while they are still sitting in their seats, although Ginny seems to have moved into the armchair next to him. They look up quickly as I approach and seem relieved to see that it is just me, not someone like Dean (who was heartbroken for weeks over Ginny's breakup with him). "'Mione? What's up?"

"Harry, I need your Invisibility Cloak," I request, and Harry nods. I think he understands why I need it, otherwise he would have asked me why. But since Harry is so nice and shares like a good boy should, he generally just gives people what they need, no questions asked. He appears back on the stairs a few moments after he heads into his dormitory, and runs down to hand me the cloak. It feels like liquid in my hands. I fold it carefully and tuck it into my robes. "Thanks, Harry. I assure you it will not be misused." I give him an impish grin, which he returns. I go back outside and spot Ron wandering around nearby.

"What took you so long?" he grumbles when he sees me, but looks happy anyway.

"Had to grab something for my plan about Malfoy," I say, a little breathless from climbing through the portrait-hole so much. I take out the Invisibility Cloak to show to Ron. "This."

Ron's eyes widen. "Harry actually lent it to you? Wow," he breathes excitedly. "This makes our revenge much easier."

"Mine, at least," I remind him. "Yours is just straight-on fighting. Or unless you would like to use an underhanded method and ambush Blaise?" I grin evilly. Ron hates it when people mock him about his pride.

"O-of course not!" he huffs, eyes blazing. "I'm going to go right up to that freak and give him what he deserves - a good spanking. Not that I'd really spank him, but you know what I mean." He straightens his robes and brushes a hand through his orange hair. "Better look good for the job. You coming with me, or are you going after Malfoy on your own?"

I shake my head. "There's not much time left until dinner," I reply. "Better hurry up and not take my chances. After the meal, we probably won't be able to find them." I pull up the sleeve of my thin, woollen blue jumper (which is not that good at keeping out the cold, but does the job acceptably and looks good too) and glance at my watch. "It's 7:10pm. We have half an hour." I look up and pat Ron on the shoulder. "See you back at the common room at 7:45pm, OK?"

He nods. "Deal." With that, Ron waves goodbye and goes off to find his target.

My victim is most likely on his way to the Great Hall. I glance around carefully and put on the cloak. It is a wonderful feeling, walking around the school knowing that no-one else can see you. I refrain from skipping around and dancing, because the cloak doesn't muffle noises.

About 10 minutes later, I manage to spot Draco, thanks to his distinguishable drawl and Crabbe and Goyle's loud voices. I quickly hide around a corner, but then remember that I am invisible to them. Heart pounding, I casually walk towards them, carefully avoiding contact. To perform my plan, I'll need a broom cupboard. Scouting ahead, I spot one a few dozen metres away. Slowly I follow the trio like a ghost, making sure to keep as quiet as I can.

When we reach the cupboard, I dart off to the side and whisper, "_Alohamora_!" to unlock the cupboard.

Draco stops and frowns in my direction. "Wait, boys. I think I heard something." He slowly walks in my direction. "Knowing how some people own invisibility cloaks these days, it's best to check you're not going to be jumped." The blonde Slytherin waves his hands in front of him like a zombie, and I quickly open the door to hit him in the face. "Dammit! Goddamn, that hurt!" He rubs his nose, glaring at the door.

I suppress laughter and reach in a few metres (why on earth do they build these cupboards so big?) to find a broom. "Perfect," I murmur to myself and withdraw it carefully from the cupboard. When Draco sees a sweeping broomstick floating in the air in front of him, he looks downright scared. I wave it about menacingly and manage to knock him on the shoulder - I'd aimed for his head, but he moved aside nimbly and I only managed to get him after moving the broom to his side.

"Ouch!" he complains, rubbing his shoulder. I grin and use this chance to hit him over the head. "Oh, fuck! Who is that!" he yells, ducking as I aim another swing at him. "Stop it! It's not funny, Potter! This joke is getting old. In case you forgot, you did this in 3rd year. And 5th year. And now. Can't you think of anything better?"

I find myself having fun as I sweep the broomstick at Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, whom out of the three, only the first one dodges any of my blows. The other two are too slow and stupid to avoid anything and take the force of my hits, even though they aren't my target. "Oops," I say apologetically as I whack Goyle on the shins very hard yet again. He squeaks and falls back. At the same time, he reaches out to grab something to hold onto, and, of all things, the Invisibility Cloak is the thing he finds first. As he tugs the cloak down, I am revealed. "Oh no," I mutter as realization dawns in Draco's cold grey eyes.

Which are very pretty, did I mention that?

MUST NOT THINK ABOUT DRACO'S PRETTY EYES. MUST NOT!

"So it was you, Her- Granger," he snarls angrily. "You know, humiliating me seems to have become a hobby of yours recently."

"Not my fault I enjoy such entertainment, Draco, especially when it's so easy," I reply airily, carefully stepping back so to make a fast escape. Then I remember the cloak. Goyle is still clutching it in his fist. I can't exactly leave without it.

He raises an eyebrow. "'Draco'?"

"That's not your name?"

"Yes, but not to you," he says. "For you it's 'The Superior Master Malfoy'. For Potter and Weasley, I'll make up something even longer."

I roll my eyes. "My God, I feel so special that I get to call you something unique from what everyone else does." I give the cloak a hard tug and Goyle finally has the sense to let go. "Good. Got the cloak back." I smile sweetly at him. "See you! Enjoy nursing your bruises." Actually, I don't think I did much more than give them a few bruises in some spots that will be very sore tomorrow morning. Hah! They should think themselves lucky.

"Who's there?" A croaky voice calls out. "Students should be at dinner, in the Great Hall! When I catch you, you'll get detention for wandering around when you're not supposed to." The voice is accompanied by a faint meow that can be none other than Mrs. Norris.

"Damn, it's Filch," Draco mutters. "Quick, Crabbe, Goyle, run. You two won't be able to hide yourselves if your lives depended on it." To me, he jabs a thumb towards the cupboard. "In there. Now."

"Don't think you can boss me about, you-" I stop in mid-sentence when I see Filch's shadow looming right around the corner. I gulp and dive inside. "Maybe just this once!"

A moment later Draco joins me and shuts the door quickly. I thought the broom cupboard was big, but apparently not, because right now his knee is jammed into my back rather painfully. "Move your leg," I hiss as quietly as I can, and shove him backwards, but to no avail because there is no space to shove him to. "Man, this place is so small."

"What did you expect? It's a broom cupboard, not a handy place for people to hide in. Filch probably won't look here. This is one of the smaller ones. He'll think we all ran away." Draco does his best to shift himself, but we are both sitting in odd postures, making it hard to move without banging the door open. And by the very faint clicking sound outside (Mrs. Norris' claws on the floor) and the loud sound of Filch's footsteps, he's still pretty close by.

"Good point," I whisper before becoming silent. Slowly, the footsteps die away, though not before a great deal of muttering and curses.

Draco lets out a breath. "Phew." Returning back to his cocky self, he smirks. "Let me remind you, cupboards like this are also used for..." He attempts to stand and then forces me to the corner, kneeling over me with his hands beside my shoulders. "... shagging sessions." Draco lowers his face until his nose brushes mine, and nuzzles my cheek.

I push him away. "No way, Malfoy. You're not going to do that to me here. I'd like to lose my virginity to someone I actually like..." I trail off as something inside me twinges. I ignore it and turn away from him.

"Aw. You stopped calling me Draco," he says, feigning hurt. "That was sweet while it lasted, I suppose." He grins. Even though it is dark, I can practically feel his self-confidence about girls radiating off him. I guess he does have a reason to be so confident. His looks guarantee that he'll get any girl he sets his eyes on.

"Now let's go... WHAT!" I start to push open the door, but it doesn't budge a bit. "_Alohamora_!" The spell bounces off the wood and when I try again, the door stays firmly shut.

Draco pushes me aside. "Oh, let me do it, you weakling," he says, slamming into the door with his shoulders. The cupboard stays shut. "_Dynamora_!" he shouts and points his wand at the door. A feeble little explosion happens at the tip of the wand, but doesn't blast the door open as it is meant to. "What the fuck is happening?" he asks, sitting back in frustration.

I refuse to believe that I am stuck in a broom cupboard, of all things, with Draco Malfoy. "_Pyrifico_! _Dynamora_! Um, _Explosarsium_!" When none of the explosive spells work, I bang my head in panic. "No! It can't be true! We're not stuck here, we can't be!"

"Didn't Dumbledore mention something about new spells on the storage cupboards around here, to stop students skipping class to make out in broom closets?" His eyes widen - I can see that much from the sliver of light that comes through the crack between the doors. "Uh oh. That means we're stuck until someone comes to help us out."

"Filch? Should we yell for him?" I groan. "I mean, the worst thing he can do to us is to give us detention for weeks... oh gods." I put my head in my hands and shake it. "This isn't good."

Draco bangs the wall. "I'm not calling for Filch! He'd expel me! He's hated me ever since I slipped a neslug into his slipper at the end of last year." He sighs. "I don't want to be expelled now. I only have another year to go."

I giggle. Neslugs are nasty little creatures that look like slugs, but explode when squashed to spray out acid that burns most things except human skin, strange as it is. Instead, it stains the skin a sickly shade of green, and makes it itch for weeks afterwards. "That was pretty brave. How did you pull it off?"

"Well..."

After I get him started, Draco briefly explains his prank, and we start talking about all the pranks we've ever done or witnessed. Since Ron is Fred and George's brother, most of the time he hears all about their latest joke first before anyone else, and Harry, Ginny and I laugh about it before people have even had time to see the results of the joke. So being stuck in the cupboard turns out to be not all that boring, but unfortunately there is the problem of my friends that I have to tend to. "What can I do? It's already 9pm," I complain after a moment of silence. "Ron and Harry will be worried. They probably think you've murdered me and dumped my body in the lake or something."

"That's ridiculous," Draco says indignantly. "For one, you're far to interesting to murder, and for another, I don't dump bodies into the lake. That's so uncreative."

I raise an eyebrow, even though he can't see it. "Does that mean you've murdered before?"

"I did not mean that."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Who knows." I smile to myself. So far I haven't been hexed or anything. In fact, it's been almost enjoyable. Apart from one thing - sitting so close to Draco and not being able to make any moves, because he's supposed to be my worst enemy. Of all the attractive males I could have gotten stuck with, it just has to be him. The most attractive one. The one who is also an enemy.

At about 10pm, we start to feel bored. "My homework's due on Monday, and I haven't finished it yet," I mumble. "I'm going to be in trouble if we don't get out soon."

"It's due on Monday. That still leaves you tomorrow night," he points out. There is a period of uncomfortable silence, and suddenly he grabs me and pulls me towards him. "OK. Looks like I can't seem to resist temptation any longer," he whispers into my neck. "I mean, woo, stuck with a girl who's not Pansy in a closet. Mmm."

I'm sure he can feel my heart pounding like a drum next to his steady one. "Wh-what? What are you doing?" Feebly, I try to push him off, but secretly I am enjoying the feeling of having strong arms around me. It always makes any girl feel safe and secure. In Draco's case, the anticipation of what might come is also a strong feeling.

I wonder. What will happen next?

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Wow! Long-ish chapter. Longer than usual, anyway. Hope you liked this, 'kinky' stuff next chapter. Not really kinky, more like just a interesting night of lust for these two young people. -Winks- I'll try to make it PG-13 enough... though I'm not that good at that kind of stuff, so bear with me... suggestions will help.

Basically, what is kinky but not too adult-rated? PG-13 kinky, basically. Any ideas?


	22. Chapter 22: Draco

So many people said I was mean to leave it where I did... XD So I updated sooner than I would have (I was afraid of your wraths X.x). Well, here's the next bit... hopefully it's alright. I can't write snog scenes too well. You'll have to make do with this. :D And of course, I'd never ruin the fun by posting a Ron chapter... -Shudders-

Btw... no, no shagging yet... if I did that it would just be pure lust, wouldn't it?

& I present to you...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 22

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DRACO

Well, well, well. Never thought I'd end up like this. Stuck in a broom closet with Hermione Granger, of all people. But I must say, it could be worse.

Much worse.

So I suppose I'm quite lucky. And while I'm here, might as well make the most of it...

I lean over. "Oooh, this is gonna be fun," I smirk as I push her against the side of the closet. I'm not sure why I am doing this to Hermione. I mean, come on, she's the school bookworm. How low can I get? But somewhere in the last few weeks, with her attempting to murder me every few days... I suppose I've started tolerating her.

And I said tolerating, not liking. So don't get any weird ideas.

"ARGH!" she yells, attempting to push me away. "I'm going to call Filch! Get off me!"

After her shouts, we both fall silent and listen hard. Is anyone coming to get us out? I mean, sure, it's nice in here, but I'd like to get out before my bladder erupts. I shudder slightly at the prospect, and press my ear to the door. "Can you hear anything?" I ask her. Granger shakes her head. I sigh. "Oh well. Guess I'll have to continue..."

Her eyes widen. "Hey, you're serious?" She scrambles to one side. I follow her, getting closer every time. She moves to the other side, and I keep up - until our noses are touching. Hermione slumps down and chuckles. "Oh man. What a great thing to do in a closet. Get raped by a horny, stupid Slytherin idiot..."

"Hey... I am not stupid! And I don't really want to rape you, you know. Don't flatter yourself." I cross my arms, even though we're forehead to forehead. Well, I wouldn't really mind shagging Granger, but I don't want to rape her. That's just low. I don't need to rape anybody, with my looks.

"Hmph" is all she says to my comment. She glares at me, her legs still struggling against mine as we gaze not-so-lovingly into each other's eyes. "Then can you explain what you're doing on top of me?"

My smirk returns. "To sharpen up my kissing skills, of course." With that, I turn my head to the right slightly and press my mouth to hers. For a moment, Hermione does nothing. Then all of a sudden, she jerks violently around as if she has a spasm. I lock her arms down and grin to myself. To an outsider looking at the cupboard, it must look like there's a boggart in here.

"Let me go!" she mumbles between pauses. I shake my head doggedly and keep going. Soon she stops her fighting and slowly but surely, starts returning the snog. Inside my head, I laugh in glee and triumph. Hah! I win this round. "You asswipe! Stop it!" Ironically, at the same time, she is now kissing me back quite voluntarily.

"Mind your language, young lady," I snarl, stopping for breath for a brief moment. This time, to my immense surprise, Granger gets bold and pulls me towards her, fingers twined in my hair.

I can feel her lips moving into a smile. "You sounded like Professor McGonagall just then," she teases.

I roll my eyes and there is silence for a long time as we snog (I hadn't forgotten how good she is) frantically, anxious about anybody barging in. After a while, when the pace slows down a bit, and our lips are tired from mashing against each other's, I move my lips to her ear. Mmmm. Nice. "Not likely, Granger." A very later reply, but a reply all the same. I kiss a line down from the back of her ear to the base of her neck. I nuzzle her velvet skin. Wonder what kind of moisturiser she uses. Her skin is fucking amazing.

She squeaks and grips my shoulder. "Eep! Not there! Draco, stop."

Not really listening, and rather absorbed in my activity, I shrug nonchalantly and move my lips lower and lower. "Hmm, right." Almost unconsciously, my hand pulls back the jacket she is wearing over a spaghetti strap top and trace circles on her arm.

She shudders but pushes me off, this time with real force. "I told you, not any lower," she scolds. Putting her jacket back on, and adjusting her top straps, she scowls at me. "I was humoring you. Don't take it too seriously. I'm not your next plaything - not like Pansy."

This time, I shudder. "Pansy is not my plaything. Sure, she's pretty and has a great body, but her personality..." I make a gagging noise. "She's so eager to please any decent-looking guy that it disgusts me."

Hermione raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so even though she digusts you, you still go out with her?" Patting her ear absently, she pulls herself up into a proper sitting position - I had made her nearly lie down when I kissed her. "Seriously, you have no taste, Draco. There's loads of other pretty girls out there. Take Parvati, for one. Parvati and her twin, Padma. They're both beauties. But no, you just have to go out with a Slytherin pureblood."

"Hey, well, at least Pansy can afford to pay for all our dates," I shoot back. "Unlike some redheaded pauper that I can name, but won't. Anyway, I dumped her ages ago. We'd only gone out on about three dates altogether, because we were a couple for such a short time." I wouldn't mind seducing Parvati or Padma, but they're bimbos. Not very interesting. Not like some people... who happen to be in a closet with me at this moment. I think of more things I can do. Obviously Granger will object to any more snogging, but that doesn't mean all my options are closed...

She looks a bit angry at my stab at Weasley. "Well, sorry if not all of us are as well-off as you, Draco. Some of us have brains instead. I'm sure there's not nearly as much between your ears than Ron." She crosses her arms, hmphing at me.

I laugh. "Oh yeah, then how do you explain all the OWLS I got last year? The most in Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw." I make a face at her, even though she probably can't see it. I consider casting _Lumos_, but since I'll need my wand later for my 'punishment' for Hermione, I decide against it. Oh yes. I'd thought out the punishment. I assure you it will be very interesting. At least, for me. "Couldn't beat you, though. I suppose the bookworm will always win when it comes to grades."

Hermione sighs. "You make that sound like a bad thing. What's wrong with being a bookworm? Nothing, as far as I can see."

"Whatever you say," I answer slyly. Silently I reach for my wand and mouth the words that would give me handcuffs and chains. To my pleasure I hear a slight crinkling noise. Good. It seems to have worked.

"Should we try and bang for help?" she says after a while. Raising her hand to pound the door, Granger's wrist is suddenly pulled back by the chains that secure her handcuffs to a wall. "Hey..." she tugs at the chain to pull it out, but to no avail. "What the-" She whirls to face me. "DRACO!" she screeches madly. "Why did you put me in handcuffs! Ones that allow little movement, at that!"

I smirk. "Why do you think, my dear, smart Hermione?" I slowly shuffle towards her and conjure up a jar of raspberry jam. I lift the jar to the light. "_Lumos_! Here's a hint." I smile wickedly when realization dawns in her eyes and she groans. "_Nox_."

"Oh no. This had better not be what I think it is." She shifts around, trying to free herself, but the chains are pulled tight. "Dammit!"

"More amusement for me," I drawl. "I'm bored, anyhow." I wave my wand a raspberry jam splats onto her neck. I lean in and lick it off. She twitches indignantly but doesn't make a sound. More splatters. More licking. After a while, Hermione looks as if she is bursting to do something, anything, but not stay still. A muffled squeal emits from her as I unzip her jacket again.

"Don't go there," she warns. "Or I'll cast _Dynamora_. My wand is pointed at your crotch anyway. One well-said spellword should set it off."

"Ooouch," I say, grinning, as the jam dribbles down, threatening to stain the edge of her top. I move in to gently run my tongue over it just in time. She shudders. "No worries. Your threats are more than enough to keep me away. But meanwhile, might as well have fun with what I can." I stroke her hair with my clean hand. It's not particularly nice to have jam in your hair, as I know from personal experience. So I'll spare her the annoyance of trying to keeping bees away from her head.

What happens after that - well, I suppose you can guess. More snogging (she didn't object that much), more fun with raspberry jam. Eventually my knees start hurting from kneeling over her for so long, and I lie down next to her. "Urgh. So painful," I complain. "You should thank me for your good time." I release her from her handcuffs and she lays her hands down, shaking them.

"Who said I had a good time? My hands hurt like hell," she grumbles, but I can hear a hint of a grin in her voice. Hermione huffs a little bit from all that activity and rolls to one side so I have more space. I smirk and shift over, and put an arm around her shoulder to roll her back towards me. Her head ends up on my shoulder, just under my chin. "Leave me to sleep in peace," she murmurs, rolling the other way, but before she can I pull her back. She kicks a bit at my shins - quite hard, actually.

I wince in pain but don't let her go, instead, lying back and closing my eyes. "Stop kicking me. It hurts. Go to sleep, Hermione. You can act as a replacement for my teddy bear."

She chuckles. "You don't even have a teddy bear, Draco. At least, I hope you don't. That would be scary." She sighs contentedly and relaxes. "You're right. I'm too tired to struggle anymore." A pause. "Goodnight, Malfoy."

I smile to myself, eyes still closed. "Goodnight."

The next morning finds us sleeping soundly in the cupboard - still. I guess it's a good thing no-one walked in on us or anything. That would have been hard to explain. I still don't really know my feelings for Hermione; it's somwhat mixed. Sometimes I feel like snogging her randomly on the spot as a way of greeting, other times I feel like doing a karate chop on her head. Of course, I've done neither, but that's how I feel about her.

I wonder how she thinks of me.

Not that I really care or anything. Honestly.

I am lying sprawled out, or at least as sprawled out as I can in a small space like this. Hermione has curled up like a cat and is still in the same position as when I last saw her. Maybe my arm around her helped with that part. I glance at her watch. It reads 10:13am. I gently shake her awake. "Hermione. Get up."

She moans and opens one bleary eye. "Wha-?" Like me, she glances at her watch and her eyes widen. "Oh, dammit! It's almost time for lunch! Harry and Ron will be desperately looking for me by now." She sits up and stretches, yawning. "I really think we should call for help."

I sigh. "Yeah. Detention or no, I really need to piss. And I mean really."

"I didn't need to know that," she says, glaring at me with a disgusted expression, but an oddly amused look too. "Keep information like that to yourself next time. The world is not interested in the affairs of your bladder."

"What a shame," I remark and kick at the door. "HEY! HELP! ANYONE?"

Hermione joins in with the shouting, and soon we are both banging and and screaming at the top of our lungs to be released. I give the door an extra hard shove, and at the same time, Hermione does the same. To my amazement, the door flies open and we land on the cold, hard floor with an 'oomph'.

"Oooh... that hurt," I groan, clutching my ribs. "Hope I haven't broken anything..."

Granger, who landed half on top of me, stands up and shrugs. "Thanks for being a cushion, Draco." She grins. "I'm pretty sure I haven't snapped or twisted anything."

"Grin while you can," I snarl. "You're lucky I don't beat up girls. Or I'd be on top of you, breaking as many bones as I can right now." I hobble off towards the nearest toilets. "For now, I need to relieve myself. See you at the Prefects' meeting tonight," I call back.

She nods, and turns around to go back into the broom cupboard for a second, and comes back out with a strange, liquidlike cloak that looks like a shawl my grandmother - no, Weasley's grandmother would have worn back when shawls were stylish. I suppose this is Potter's famous Invisibility Cloak. She tucks it under her arm and claps a hand to her forehead. "Oh! Forgot about that." She sighs. "Better not get stuck in closets too often. I can only risk missing so many classes."

I roll my eyes. "What, you've missed Ancient Runes? That is the most boring subject on Earth. I have no idea why anyone bothers to even show up."

"Shut up! It's not that bad," Hermione says defensively. "Easy for you to say, your grades are probably so low that skipping classes can't decrease your marks anymore..." she trails off as she starts walking in the opposite direction.

"I heard that," I yell at her.

She grins back at me. "You were meant to!"

Muttering to myself, I trudge towards the toilets as fast as I can manage without running or looking like I need to go. That is a Malfoy technique that no other boy could have mastered, except me.

I smirk when I think back. That, my friends, is what I call a night of fun. Snogging, handcuffs and magical closets. And what was up with the door, anyway? When Hermione and I both slammed into it, it opened easily like it was meaning to all that time. No doubt another 'friendship and co-operation' charm cast on it by Dumbledore.

Hmph.

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OK. Here is where they start to like like each other... hope this wasn't too sudden (then again, this is the 22nd chapter already, so some romance and snogging is due). Anyway, I won't be making any fast moves with their relationship, there's still a scene I've been planning for ages that I haven't put in yet.

Review and tell me what you think!


	23. Chapter 23: Ginny

Everyone: thanks to a review by QueenMazyofLazy, I was reminded to clear things up a bit. The howler was the dinner the night before the revenge on Blaise, so the revenge and closet stuff was the day after they went to Hogsmeade. Otherwise Draco could not have been in the closet snogging Hermione and have received the howler. So if there's any part of the story that suggests otherwise in terms of order of events, please tell me and I will fix it.

(Btw, I accidentally made a mistake about the above subject in chapter 21 - I have changed it now.)

Thank you!

& before you, you see...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 23

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GINNY

Sometimes I can get really pissed off at Hermione. But when you look at things from another angle, you can always see that what she's doing is good for me. Like when she was yelling about Harry liking me in front of the whole school. Embarassing, yes, but without it I wouldn't be here right now, sitting beside Harry in the common room. Plus there was that howler she made Dobby record... that was the funniest thing I'd heard in a long time.

Conveniently, the room is empty. Then again, it IS quite late. We just sat here, doing our homework together, until everyone else had gone to bed. I feel like jumping in joy that Harry isn't making a big deal about the Blaise thing - he was even jealous! That had been so cute. I wish I could replay that over and over again. Heehee!

"'The properties of Veritaserum is that it forces the truth out of a person,'" Harry recites monotonously, holding up his Potions notes.

I giggle. "You can stop the pretense now, Harry. Everyone's gone to bed."

He glances around, looking surprised. "True! I didn't even notice."

"You were that absorbed in your work?" I ask incredulously.

"No... I was too busy staring at- uh, I mean, staring at my parchment. Yeah, that's it. Parchment." Harry blushes a little and clears his throat, shuffling his papers. He adjusts his glasses and unconsciously runs a hand through his already messy hair. Messy hair would normally look good on any boy (with some exceptions, like Lee Jordan - if his hair had gotten any more messy, it would be an afro), but on Harry it looks simply gorgeous. At least, in my eyes.

I sigh, smiling wistfully. "Riiiiiight," I drawl. There is a period of comfortable silence as we grin at each other foolishly.

Then Harry speaks up shyly. "Want to, um, finish what we were doing last time before Ron interrupted us?" he asks, turning a bright shade of crimson. His emerald eyes are now a stark contrast to his skin color.

"I thought you'd never ask," I exclaim, my heart leaping around crazily like a mad rabbit. Butterflies do somersaults in my stomach as Harry leans over the table. I get closer to him, and close my eyes...

"OUCH!"

I open my eyes again, wondering what happened. Then I see Harry clutching his stomach in pain. I giggle. Obviously he'd been a tad too enthusiastic in leaning over to kiss me and had smashed his abdomen against the hard table. "Oh, Harry! Be careful! Are you alright?" I stand up and walk over to him, concerned but still smiling in spite of myself. "That looks like it hurt. Don't try battling the table with your stomach - not a good idea."

He grimaces at me, doing his best to sit up. "Y-you should have told me that earlier, Ginny. It's kinda late for that kind of advice now, don't you think?"

"Awww. Sorry," I coo. I pat him on the arm and look into his eyes. He stares at me through his glasses, hair falling onto his lashes. We remain like this for a while, me standing over him while he sits, looking up at me. Soon, my back starts to get tired and I feel the urge to sit down. At this moment, Harry pulls my arm towards him. Losing my balance, I stumble forward and my lips fall onto his.

How romantic - apart from the fact that my back is very sore, Harry is having to crane his neck up in order to reach my mouth, and I am in a rather awkward position, half supported by him and half unbalanced. But who cares; I mean, this is the big moment, the moment I've been waiting for since I set my eyes on Harry when I was 10.

OK, well maybe not that early (when I was 10 I hardly wanted to snog any boy - I was still recovering from the whole 'boys have cooties' thing that girls and boys get when they are about 8 or 9), but you get my idea.

After a minute or so, we pull apart, and I struggle to stand up. "Phew. Not too shabby," I comment with a grin. Harry smiles. "Your first kiss?"

He looks embarassed. "Actually... no," he admits.

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh? Who was your first?" I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I want to make sure, just in case I am wrong and it is something- er, someone horrible like Millicent Bulstrode or Pansy Parkinson (don't ask me how Harry can be fooled into kissing the former).

"Cho... Cho Chang," he says. "In my 5th year. Last year, basically. Um, it was when I was teaching all those DADA spells secretly to 'Dumbledore's Army'."

I laugh. I remember those lessons; they were pretty helpful. Never knew what was going on after them, though. Looks like Cho picked a decent place for a snog. I never would have guessed. "Oooh, I see. Was it good?"

"..." Harry glances at me. "Um... well... it's not like I have much experience or anything, but I have to say this one was better." He grins shyly. "Much better."

"Good, good," I reply. Just then, the portrait hole swings open and a flushed Ron crawls through. He looks a bit worse for wear and seems to be nursing a bruised arm. He limps towards us - has he broken something? - and collapses on the nearest armchair. "_Accio cup_! _Accio water jug_!" I shout, waving my wand. The aforementioned items zoom towards me and I stop them smartly at the table. Ron thirstily pours himself a drink. "Where were you, Ron? Have you been fighting?" He scowls as he puts down the cup. His black eye becomes apparent. "Oh. Oops. Didn't see that."

Sighing, Ron rubs his eye. "Thanks, Harry," he says as his best friend conjours up a wet towel to wipe him off. "Yeah, obviously I've been fighting. Blaise, to be exact."

Harry inhales sharply. "Don't tell me you were taking revenge by trying to beat Blaise up with all his friends nearby," he says dangerously. "By yourself, too."

Ron looks sheepish. "Actually, that's what I was doing. But Blaise was pretty fair. He called off all his mates when they leaped on me and proposed a one-on-one fight." He groans as he accidentally bumps his arm on the table. "Godammit, that boy can fight. Never knew he had the material. I had almost expected him to slap me as a first move, but no - a punch straight onto the face. Ow." He touches his right cheek, wincing.

I sigh. "Ron, you thickhead. Haven't you ever seen Blaise fight? He fights like a madman, that guy. I think he does karate or something."

"What's that?" Ron frowns.

"It's a kind of battle style used by muggles," explains Harry. "It's hand-to-hand. No wands, guns - that's those metal wands with bullets in them - or anything, just bare hands and feet."

"Wow," Ron laments. "I wish I'd heard of that. Then maybe I could have learnt it and kicked his ass."

I pat his shoulder. He yelps. "Oh, sorry. So, who won the fistfight in the end?"

Ron looks up, rolling his eyes. "It was a draw, I swear. Well, except I ended up more bruised and beaten than him, but we were both tired and winded so we called it quits."

I roll my eyes to myself. That usually means that he lost. Ron never admits that he lost a fight - his pride won't let him. "OK. A draw. We believe you."

"Honest!" he protests, but Harry silences him with a glare. "Sorry. Oh yeah, have you guys seen Hermione? She told me to do whatever kind of revenge I want to Blaise and that she'd take care of Malfoy's punishment from you. And plus something about beating him over the head with a broom."

Harry chuckles at the mental image that arises with Ron's description. "Oh yeah. She came back asking for my Invisibility Cloak, too." Then he sits up. "Hey... if she has the cloak, she should be able to just attack and then come back straight away. But yet she's been gone longer than you, Ron." He turns to face us. "Think something happened...?"

We are silent for a while, thinking. I'm not exactly worried about Hermione - rather, more for the person who decided to mess with her, but she has been gone for quite a while. Hexing someone to oblivion wouldn't take this long. She's been gone since she and Ron left Harry and I here, which has been about three hours.

Malfoy couldn't possibly survive a 20-minute beating, with a broomstick and Hermione's vigour, let alone a 3-hour one.

And I don't think Hermione's going to actually kill Draco... at least, I hope not.

"Where do you think she is?" I ask, out of ideas. "Near the Slytherin common room?"

"Could be a good place to start looking," Harry agrees. He glances at his watch. "But it's 10pm. And we don't have the Invisibility Cloak, so if Filch catches us we're dead. Literally."

Ron sighs, rubbing his temples. "What can we do, what can we do, what can we do...? Hermione sure was stupid taking the cloak... but then again, if she didn't, she'd be caught, reported and possible expelled. Well, maybe not expelled, with her grades, but we can't let her take the blame for anything we do in the future. All three of us will be in Filch's bad books - if we aren't already, which I think we are."

"Then all we can do is wait till she gets back," I declare. "I know Hermione well enough to trust that she can take care of herself. And unless the staircases shift an unusual amount tonight, I wager that she'll be able to get back here."

"You sure, Ginny?" Ron asks, worried. I grin. He's liked Hermione for a while now; several years, to be exact. Not as long as I've liked Harry, of course. But I don't think he really loves her or anything - it's more like just a crush. After all, Hermione is very pretty, even more so now that her hair has grown out of its bushyness. It's not sleek and shiny, but it looks good on her.

Harry stands up and stretches. "So now we wait," he says, trudging sadly up to his dormitory. "Oh, wait," he adds, as if he just remembered something. He runs back down and pecks me on the cheek. "Goodnight," he says, face red again, and sprints into the boys' dormitories. Ron stares at me open-mouthed. I refrain from laughing loudly and thus waking the rest of the Gryffindors.

"Since when did you two get so cosy as to kiss each other goodnight?" he asks suspiciously as I head up the stairs to the girls' side. "What did you two do while we were gone?"

I recall the kiss and the conversations, and smile. "Nothing," I say nonchalantly. "Nothing at all. Well, actually, that'd be a lie, but really, nothing apart from a snog..." I chuckle at Ron's horrified expression. Honestly, I don't know why he looks like that. Probably because his best friend and little sister have just become an official couple, meaning that both will spend much less time with him.

He should really get himself a girlfriend. OK, so Ron's not the most handsome or sexy boy in the school (at the moment, Draco Malfoy holds that title), and I can't really say anything really positive about his appearance in a female perspective without sounding incestuous (is that a word?), but I know for sure that he's actually not bad when it comes to looks. His orange brown hair is slightly wavy and curls around his ears and at the nape of his neck, and his eyes are an interesting blue-gray color. He looks like Fred and George, and I know for a fact that those two were never short of girls.

Even if Ron isn't exactly as interesting as them.

But still.

I shut the dormitory door behind me and head straight to my bed. My dorm-mates are already sound asleep, and a few of them occasionally emit soft snores. Tessa, the loudest snorer, sleeps farthest away from me, thank God. Right now I want as little distraction as possible to let me sleep. My worry for Hermione is literally gnawing at my mind.

Oh, Hermione, Hermione. Won't you show up, so we can all sleep in peace?

I really wonder what she's doing with Malfoy... if she's still with him, which is a very big possibility. Snogging? I wouldn't put it past them, considering their relationship with each other. One minute they're throwing insults and casting lethal spells at each other, and the next they are seen together, not fighting at all.

Let's just hope it's not anything past a little kiss or two.

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I know some of you just want to read Hermione and Draco's POVs, and that's fine with me, but I doubt I'll stop writing other POVs because they provide another interesting perspective to a situation and occasionally make you laugh at their stupidity. Like right now. Ginny knows little about what they're really doing, but she can guess. Ron and Harry, however, don't know a thing (or at least haven't said anything :D).

Anyway, if I just write Hr or D POVs the story would suddenly become more fast-paced than before.

So there:D

Please review and leave me a comment. I love reading them!


	24. Chapter 24: Hermione

Yay! Long weekend this week! We get a 4-day weekend. -Grins madly- Gee, holidays are so rare here that I'm excited about an extended weekend... -.- Just shows how evil my teachers are.

Urgh... still another 5 weeks of school before winter break... which is only TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS! During then I will also probably have to do my science fair project... -Sighs- I hate school. )'.'( (Random face of the day.)

& I bring to you... after days of writing...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 24

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HERMIONE

Well, what can I say. I suppose, in Ron's words - Bloody brilliant! OK, why exactly am I quoting Ron? Oh yeah. That session in the broom cupboard.

It was... how do I put it. Enjoyable.

Alright, very enjoyable.

You probably already know what happened. In any case, I'm not going to repeat it. If I do I might just explode with the memory right here in the Greenhouse and set Hogwarts on fire. And that's something I don't want on my permanent records at school.

But there's one thing I can explain, and that's the Howler. Let me recount...

_FLASHBACK_

"OK, Hermione. What did you just say?"

I sighed and crossed my arms. "I said, to let Malfoy know the severity of what he's done, I'm going to send him a Howler."

Harry nodded. "That's great, but what was that bit about Dobby? Or was I just hearing things?"

I beamed innocently at him. "Oh no, your hearing is fine. I did say something about Dobby." Pausing for dramatic effect, I continued, "I'm going to let him yell at the Howler, which means the letter will contain Dobby's shouting, not yours or mine. This is to avoid humiliation, you see." It was apparent that Harry did not see, because his face was rapidly turning red. "Well, you probably won't approve, but it's better than recording your voice."

This had the desired effect on Harry, and he calmed. "True, true," he muttered. "So we're actually going to make Dobby record a Howler." He shook his head. "Unbelievable. The things you do to annoy and embarass Malfoy..."

"I'm not just trying to annoy or embarass Malfoy," I said, irritated. "I'm just letting him know how much he hurt your feelings. I even wrote a script for Dobby to read off, so it's not like I'm going to make him say random things on the spot."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, 'Mione." Harry glanced around. "Shouldn't we take Ron along?"

I shrugged. "If you want to bother to find him. I think he's probably interrogating Ginny right now about Blaise or something. He won't be back until he's completely satisfied that she barely even knows him. You know that could take a while." I brushed a strand of hair away from my face, shuffled my script for Dobby (only about 3 pages long - I'd had a good idea of what I'd wanted him to say before I had written it down, so little editing had been required) and straightened. "Well. Shall we go?"

Moments later we arrived at the painting of the bowl of fruit. I tickled the pear and pushed open the door that appeared. Harry followed quickly before the door disappeared and he became cemented in the wall. "You're getting pretty good at this tickling thing," he remarked. "You know exactly where to tickle it." He narrowed his eyes. "Exactly how many times have you been down here, promoting 'elf freedom'?"

I flush. "Er, not that many times. Ahaha... maybe, 3 or 4 times?"

"Right," he muttered. "And I'm a transvestite who has a fetish about stockings."

"Harry, I never knew," I said, raising an eyebrow. I caught the sarcasm in his voice but refused to admit how many times I'd really been in here. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

He muttered something incoherent and waved a hand. "Come on. Let's find Dobby."

We found the house elf preparing roast chicken for lunch with a few other elves. When they saw us, they all jumped to their feet and bowed low, so that their noses touched the ground. "Mr Potter and Miss Granger! We are delighted and honored to have you here with us!" The furthest elves dashed away and came back with trays of cookies and sweetmeats. "Please, have them! It's our gift to you!"

I grimaced to myself, making sure the elves didn't see. I hated to take advantage of the elves - they worked so hard to make those, and now they were giving them to us just because we were here? But I knew better than to offend the house elves by refusing the food, so I accepted it. "Thank you very much," I said warmly. The elves danced around happily.

After eating the cookies and sweetmeats, Harry whispered something to an elf near him. It nodded its head enthusiastically and ran off. Soon, Dobby arrived. "Ah! Mr Potter and Miss Granger! Good afternoon!"

I motioned for Dobby to come. "Dobby, can you do this for me...?" I mumbled in his ear what I wanted, and he agreed. "Be right back," I said to the others, and gave Harry a look that said, 'distract them while I'm gone recording the Howler!'. Then, I opened the door to the corridors outside, gave Dobby the script and started recording.

_END FLASHBACK_

So basically, that's what happened.

Note that just because the broom closet kissing was great, this does not stop me from performing my next plan:

_--- Plan 7: Poison Malfoy by dripping Mandrake potion into his goblet. Make sure to measure the amount put in, otherwise he may have a spasm straight away and fall into a coma_

_When: At anytime when juice is served_

_Why: For being a general git_

_How: Take the small vial of Mandrake juice from the previous session of biology that I gathered and tip a tiny amount into Malfoy's cup when he isn't there. Make sure he doesn't see me._

I sigh in boredom as I carefully peel open a humming pea pod and empty the contents into a small bucket. Mine is nearly full. The aforementioned vial of Mandrake juice is sitting snugly inside my inside robe pocket. Ron, who is beside me, seems to have problems with the peas jumping out of their pods excitedly and missing the bucket. Several shoots are growing at his feet, and he is starting to panic. Of course, being Ron, the first thing he does to try and get rid of the shoots is stepping on them. An awfully pathetic little squeak sounds as he mashes the plants into the ground.

"Ron!" I protest as I hear several squeaks. "Don't do that! They're very rare plants, so you can't just go around stepping on them."

"Who - bloody - cares!" Ron answers through gritted teeth. "They're so annoying!"

"Well, if you start putting the peas into the bucket instead of dropping them, they might stop sprouting!" I yell at him. He glares back at me but shuts up as Professor Sprout walks towards us, her eyes wide. She gives Ron a lecture about doing what he is told and not talking so much that he keeps missing the bucket. He nods, trying for the doe-eyed innocent look but failing miserably. All he looks like is halfway between constipation and a forced smile.

"Don't say it," Ron hisses at me after she leaves. "Do. Not. Say. It."

I am the picture of innocence. Well... I'd like to think that I'm more convincing than Ron, at least. "Say what? 'I told you so'?"

He blocks his ears and starts humming loudly. "Lalala! I can't hear you! LalalalalaLA!"

I turn to Harry, perplexed. "What's up with Ron?"

Harry grins. "I think he's not taking the fact that Ginny and I are officially together too well." He shrugs. "Ah well. Ginny told him last night. So he's had all night to fume over it. Wonder what's wrong with him?"

"You know how, er, sensitive Ron is about Ginny's boyfriends," I say, giggling. "And maybe you shouldn't have let Ginny tell him - she's rather blunt about things like that."

"True," Harry says. "Too late now, don't you think?"

After Herbology, we have a free period. This is unusual, but I decide to make the most of it and decide to head down to the lake while Ron and Harry play one of their favorite games (one that I don't find all that fun), Exploding Snap. I think about bringing my Astronomy chart to complete, but decide to have a bit of a break.

Moments later, I arrive at the lake bank and look around for a good, sunny spot to sit. Winter is approaching, and I can feel it in the air - the wind is getting more bitter every day. I shiver slightly and am glad I had the sense to bring along my coat. Finally my eyes settle on a miniature, grassy plateau with a single large oak on it that is about 20 metres away and start walking.

When I get closer I spot a dark shape sitting against the tree. I wonder how I could have missed it - obviously trees do not grow a odd bulge at its roots. I shake my head and proceed to walk past them.

About 2 metres away, I finally recognize the shape. "D-Draco?" I ask incredulously. The person turns their head and my suspicions are confirmed - it is indeed Malfoy sitting there.

Reading a book.

Reading a book.

Is it just me, or is Draco Malfoy reading a book?

I shake my head, wondering if I am hallucinating. But no; in Draco's hands is a copy of _Hogwarts, a History_. "What?" he replies irritably, looking a tad surprised. "Come to kick me in the groin? Or slug me with a broomstick?"

I roll my eyes. "I'd do no such thing," I say piously. He snorts. "Well, to tell the truth, I'm just here to gaze at the lake. You know, relax."

"Wow," Draco says sarcastically. "Hermione Granger knows the meaning of the word 'relax'." To my amazement, he shifts over a little. "Here, you can relax next to me." He smirks and pats the ground next to him.

Speechless, I walk over slowly and sit down. His body warmth radiates against my arm, making me feel extremely jumpy. "Um... thanks?" I peer at his book and notice that the text is unfamiliar. "Hey... that's not _Hogwarts, a History_!" I pull the book towards me and take off the dust jacket. "Aha! _1001 Feats Crazy Wizards Have Performed in History_! What the hell is that!"

Draco snatches it back, glaring at me. "OK, smarty-pants, you saw through my disguise. I was just bored. I thought it would be an interesting book to read. Better than whatever book you were blabbering about," he says.

"I was not blabbering!" I say hotly. "I was just talking normally. Anyway, do you know how gory that book is? I'm flipped through it once and nearly threw up." I shudder. "There's one who apparently threw himself into a meat mincer... yuck!"

"So you've read it before?" he asks, smirking. "Then why are you telling me not to read it?"

I stood up. "I didn't," I hiss. Then I sigh. "You're pissing me off. Like always. Now I feel like strangling something... so much for a relaxing break," I say regretfully, casting a dirty look at Draco. "You can read that by yourself." Turning my nose up into the air, I start to walk off - and find my wrist being pulling back. "What, you want to be strangled? I'll be happy to comply, if you just stay still for a while."

Draco laughs. "You can't strangle me. The female population of Hogwarts would weep and most likely murder you." He gives me a wicked smile. I feel my heart skip a beat and suddenly become very aware of him holding onto my wrist.

"Er, Draco?" I say, staring pointedly at his hand. "If you don't mind, please let go of me." Suddenly I am pulled forward sharply and land on his lap. "Urgh... that hurt!" I complain, banging at his shoulder.

"Good," he answers. I look up to see him close up, in all his sexy Slytherin God glory. Not that this is an unfamiliar view... but it's a first time I've actually had a chance to look at him, instead of just been pulled right onto his lips to snog. "Actually, let me rephrase that. I'm sorry, poor dear." He gives me a mocking air kiss on my cheek.

I am stunned, again, into silence. Malfoy, apologizing? OK, well, it was half-sarcastic, but I detected truth in his words too. Nope, it wasn't just another pretend 'sorry'. That's twice he's surprised me today. What's next, him admitting that he now swings the other way and am a proud wearer of spandex, because it makes him feel 'sexy'?

Not that he's not sexy enough as it is... but that's not the point.

"Anyway, I didn't pull you back for nothing," he continues, a gleam in his eye. "I pulled you back to give my favorite fan a snog or two." With that, he puts his arm around my neck and pulls me down to kiss me. My heart leaps to my throat. So now I'm not a filthy Mudblood anymore. What a change.

Not an unwelcome one, I have to admit. But still, Draco is the short-term girlfriend type. I really don't want to be just another girl that he's played with and has now tired of. My pride won't let me be one of those.

But might as well enjoy the opportunity, right?

Slowly I kiss him back. When we break apart, I struggle to stand up and wag a finger in his face. "A correction there, young man," I say, trying not to smile. "I'm not your fan."

"Don't burst my bubble," he replies. "You deflate my ego enough everyday as it is." He looks at me, serious. "Strangely, I like that."

I blush. "You're weird. Really weird."

He smirks. "I know you love that about me." Draco puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. Thinking he is asleep, I don't answer, but he makes me jump by adding something else. "Admit it, Her- Granger."

I roll my eyes to myself. "Just call me Hermione, OK? I'm tired of you correcting yourself halfway through saying my name. My name is not 'HerGranger', 'Mudblood' or 'insufferable know-it-all'. It's just Hermione. So don't call me anything else - unless you still hate me." I pause for effect, and to give him time to think. "Also... your weirdness fascinates me, but I can't say I love it."

"You wrench my heart so cruelly, Hermione," he sneers. "OK, Hermione it is. Do you want me to call you this, Hermione?"

"Not like that!" I yell at him. He starts laughing and opens his blue eyes. I kick him in the thigh and he shuts up a little, but still lets out the odd snigger. "Hermione. Not Hermione. Don't drag my name out. Just say it normally!"

"Hermiiiione," he answers. At this point I am so pissed off that I beat the tree. This time, he shuts up properly, eyes wide in surprise. "Wow. Another side of Hermione. The violent side. Though I must say, I've been exposed to this violent side too many times for my own good." He shudders visibly. "Far too many."

At that moment I remember the Mandrake potion plan. I almost feel like giving up on the plans, but really, I can't stop now. I'm already on my 7th plan. Only another three more to go, right? It's a bit late to regret my past efforts at ridding Hogwarts of Malfoy. I grit my teeth and decide to perform the plan tonight.

I am not concerned about Malfoy.

I am so not concerned about Malfoy. I mean, who cares about what happens to the selfish git if he falls into a coma? It's not like anyone would care. Well, maybe apart from Crabbe and Goyle, and his mother, but yeah. That's probably about it. And at this stage, most of the girls in Hogwarts would care, but they only want his body. So that's not really a problem.

Right. That's it. My feelings about Draco are sorted.

Wait... what feelings?

I am just about to scold myself mentally when I hear a rustle in the bushes near the corner of the castle, the one closest to where the two of us are right now. I spin around sharply and catch a glimpse of someone with short, red hair dashing away around the corner. "Oh my God- dammit!" I mutter in frustration. If that was who I thought it was... and he saw me standing here next to Malfoy, not beating him up or assuming a fighting posture at all...

"Who was that?" Draco asks suspiciously when I start to walk away.

I pause and look back. "Trust me. It wasn't someone I wanted to see." Sighing, I give him a slight smile and start running back to the castle.

If that was Ron, then I'm officially busted.

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Ha! Hermione's been seen... muahahaha. Well, you guys all did know that the Howler person was her, right? It was pretty obvious (I suck at writing mysteries. U.U).

Review review review. :D


	25. Chapter 25: Ron

Wow... 12:49am here... I'd better go to bed... XD

A little bit of this chapter was borrowed off S T I L L's HP fanfic. It's that bit with the 3 different types of stares. Though I have to admit, theirs is muchos more creative, lol.

BTW! Everyone, read my new Draco/Hermione fic! (Shameless self-advertising...) Thanks to those who already have. I appreciate your reviews. :D Though people have been nagging for me to update this, so yeah...

Reply to a review:

Joshua Davis: I'm not sure what you mean by sending in the fanfics... Sorry! Do you mean putting up your own fanfics? Because if you want to do that, it's free to sign up to FFnet. You can write and post your own fics here. If that's not what you meant, you can email me or review again and explain better.

Replies to everyone who reviewed chapter 24 is at the end of the chappie (that's why it's so long).

& here we go...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 25

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RON

Did I just see what I think I saw?

A brunette girl, standing under a tree next to a boy with white-blond hair. No prize for telling who that guy is, but the girl...? I mean, I don't remember Pansy Parkinson having brown, wavy hair. Last time she ambushed me her hair had been black (dyed, maybe?). There is the possibility that it could have been Lavender Brown, but since when did she get so cosy with Malfoy?

The only other girl I know with brown, wavy hair is... oh my God, please no.

Hermione?

But wait. That's just ridiculous! Ahaha! Haha! Ha! The day Hermione hangs around with Malfoy is the day when Harry finally admits his feelings to Ginny! HAHAHA!

Then again, Harry and Ginny are now officially an item...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is not good.

"Ron? You alright?" Parvati Patil gives me a funny look, and shakes my shoulder. "Hello? Earth to Ron Weasley!"

I blink. "Eh?"

She looks relieved. "Phew. I thought you were having a spasm back there. You were kinda writhing around in your seat, and mumbling things under your breath."

"W-was I?" I say shakily, forcing a laugh. "Hahah! Wow! I didn't know! Maybe I had a nightmare or something. I really don't remember!" Wow, writhing in my seat? What happened to me there? How embarassing... thank God it's not double Charms or anything. Otherwise I'd have been so humiliated.

I glance around for Harry and Hermione. The latter one is sitting on my other side, staring intently at Professor Flitwick as he spoke. The other is in front of me, brushing a hand through his already-messy jet black hair every now and then. I roll my eyes. No chance of any of those two seeing me suffer. It would take a lightning storm for Hermione to stop paying attention to the teacher when they're in the middle of an important lecture, and Harry is so used to loud noises (thanks to Voldemort) that it would probably take more than that for him to turn around.

I turn back to Parvati. "I wasn't too... er, noticeable, was I, Parvati?"

"Not really... but everyone behind you probably saw you." She giggles. "That's most of the class, mind you. We're sitting in the second row."

"Oh God," I groan, and look back. True enough, half the class is staring at me. I decide to pay attention to the Professor. Maybe it'll take my mind off things.

After the lesson, I trudge towards my next class (Potions, urgh). Harry and Hermione are chatting next to me. It seems that Harry is trying to get advice off Hermione about how to make Ginny feel happy and satisfied, short of snogging her every 10 seconds. Hermione is suggesting flowers and gifts to give her. I strongly disagree. It'll make Ginny's head even bigger than Percy's, if she gets all that attention from Harry Potter. But I am simply too lazy to raise my voice to argue.

And there's still the brunette girl thing to think about...

Throughout Potions, I sit there, staring blankly at Snape as he instructs us about the uses of some potion whose name I've forgotten (or didn't hear at all). Thoughts whizz through my mind. Who was that brown-haired girl? Was it Hermione? If it was, what was she doing there? Did she prefer Malfoy's company to mine? But why? WHY?

My mind is dizzy with questions that want to be answered. Not much help Snape's lecture is going to do. So I decide to ignore him and keep thinking.

20 minutes later, I am outside his class with a detention slip in my hand. Scowling, I slowly walk circles around the dungeon and sigh pitifully whenever I stop outside of the door to the classroom, which is my starting position. I read the slip. _7:30pm, Wednesday night. Report to Mr. Filch's office for your detention. Be prompt. _Underneath that is a scrawled signature that I presume to be Snape's. Ugly person, ugly signature. I have to say that his signature matches his face and personality quite well.

When the period finishes, and the bell tolls for dinner, the rest of my class mill out of the class. Hermione rushes towards me as soon as she sees me and sighs. "Ron... this is the 5th detention you've gotten from Snape."

Harry joins us as she finishes speaking. "What? Well anyway, Ron. That was really funny! You were just sitting there like this," he jabs my arm with his book and makes sure I see his impression of me drooling blankly. I'm sure I wasn't that awful. Gee. Some friends I have. "The whole class was laughing." His expression grew serious. "We stopped laughing when Snape took off 50 points for having a student pretending to be ignorant and retarded in his class, and gave you a detention with Filch. Again."

I shake my head. "What is it with Snape and Filch? Are they old buddies or something? Because whenever I get a detention from Snape, he always sends me to Filch. It's like he's helping the man feed his hunger to see teenagers suffer under his hand or something delusional like that." Grumbling, I walk towards the Great Hall. Maybe dinner will cheer me up. Or maybe I'll eat so much in my attempt to cheer myself up that I'll throw up and feel worse than ever.

OK, let's just stick to happy thoughts for now. Murderous thoughts can come later. Vomiting thoughts should be banned completely. I can't afford to lose my appetite at a depressing moment like this.

As we enter the hall, Hermione elbows me. "OUCH! What was that for?" I hiss in pain.

She ignores my pathetic groans of pain and points towards the Slytherin table. "Sorry. Ron, where does Dr- Malfoy usually sit?"

I look at her suspiciously. "Why do you want to know? Don't tell me you've developed an obsession with him." That would explain why she was under than tree, standing next to Malfoy and not attempting to murder him. If that was her. I repeat, if.

"No, of course not!" Is it just me, or doesn't she sound as convincing as usual? "It's for my next plan to get rid of him. I need to slip this into his cup." She takes out a tiny vial of some kind of potion and shakes it in front of my face. "There. Happy now?"

I smile. Phew. So she isn't obsessed with him (meaning I still have a chance!). "Oh. Cool." I scan the Slythering table. Right now, it's nearly empty, because most people go back to their dorms to change (if they just had an outdoor class, or if they just want to look flashy) or put their books away. We rarely take our textbooks to a meal in the Great Hall, but today's an exception. "Um... I think he sits... over there somewhere."

Hermione looks annoyed at the vague waving of my hands. "You're pointing at about a dozen seats! Make up your mind. I don't want to poison someone other than him."

I squint at the table, thinking about where he usually sits, glaring at us from his house table. "If Harry and I sit there, like always... he's facing this way... over there... so that means he sits..." I stare at one seat, the one that my calculations have finished with. "... there!"

"Great! Thanks, Ron!" She practically skips off and, clutching the vial of that weird green-brown substance, carefully scoots around the end of the table and runs over to the seat I marked out. "This one?" she calls from across the Slytherin table, pointing at one of their ornately carved chairs, covered with green silk. I nod, with a last glance to make sure. She uncorks the bottle and carefully drips a few droplets of the stuff into the goblet that whoever sits at the seat will drink out of.

Job done, she runs towards the Gryffindor table and motions for me to follow. I look around for Harry, and, spotting him with Ginny, hurry towards Hermione.

During the feast, the two of us have our eyes glued to the Slytherin table. We try not to make it too obvious that we're staring at Malfoy - instead, trying to make it look like a 'Who's Malfoy?' look, or a 'We don't know that stinking ferret' look. Or even a 'Pshht. Who wants to look at that idiot? I'm staring at the ugly bulk next to him!' stare.

"How long does the potion take to start working its magic?" I ask as the desserts appear. I am slightly annoyed at how slowly the potion seems to be reacting. He should be having spasms on the floor right about now. Almost like what I was doing in Charms. I quickly bury my head at the memory, face burning. Now I know how Harry must have felt after the first Dementor accident.

Hermione tuts, irritated. "Wait, will you, Ron? Patience is a virtue, they say! It'll start working soon. I promise."

And since Hermione is never wrong when it comes to magic spells or potions, I decide to believe her. Let's just hope 'soon' is before I grow a beard.

Almost immediately after I think that, a commotion erupts at the green and silver table. "Help! Someone's having a heart-attack!" someone yells from that table. Most of the other students in the hall continue munching on their food, talking calmly and occasionally glaring at the noise the Slytherins were making. "HEY, YOU BASTARDS! Don't be heartless! Come and help him!"

Hermione and I glance at each other, exchanging grins. "This is it," she says excitedly, tugging on my sleeve. "Let's go have a look!"

Harry, who doesn't know anything about what happened before dinner actually started, peers at us, confused. "Huh? What is it? Hey... do you two know something I don't?"

"Don't worry! Just come, and we'll fill you in later in the common room," she says, dragging him along. We run to the Slytherin table, where now half the school is assembled at. We head over to the place where most people seem to be crowding around, and struggle our way through the mass of people. Our determination drives us as we swear and punch through the crowd. Hermione, however, is just politely making her way through. Honestly. She should learn from us. It's much faster this way - OUCH! Who just kicked me!

Finally the three of us make it to the front of the crowd. "I can't wait to see Malfoy's face as he spasms," I say, smiling wickedly.

Hermione gives a rather forced laugh. Something in her face makes it look like she's regretting what she's done. "Yeah," she mumbles. "Let's just hope he's not dead."

We turn and finally look at the victim. What greets us makes my eyes wide.

The person lying unconscious is not a certain blond, arrogant bastard, but one of his lackeys.

Goyle.

The aforementioned bastard is staring at us. Namely, at the person next to me. I slowly turn to look at Hermione. She's staring at him with the same expression as on his face. Kind of a shocked, bemused and, somewhere in there, a look that I can't quite decipher sort of expression.

"What happened to him?" Harry whispers. "He looks dead. Is he?"

"I wish," I retort. "I think he's just knocked out. In a coma. A vegetable."

"Oh. Too bad."

"Don't be so unkind, Harry!" Ginny scolds, appearing beside him. Instantly Harry goes puppy-dog mode and ignores us. Man. I glance at Hermione. She's lowered her eyes to the body. I can hear her muttering profanities, in all sorts of languages. Wow, never knew she was talented in that field.

Someone (probably Snape) had conjured up a stretcher for Goyle by the time I turn my eyes back to the scene. It is larger than normal stretchers, because of his size and the fact that he still convulsed every few minutes. It would be a hassle to get him back onto the stretcher every time he has a spasm.

When the crowds break up and go to bed, mostly due to Dumbledore, Harry and Ginny have gone off again while Hermione and I walk back to the Gryffindor common room in silence. Well, for a while, anyway.

"You told me that was his seat," she says in a dangerously low voice after a while. "You told me that's where Draco Malfoy always sits."

I put up my hands. "Hey, don't look at me. It's not like he's got a seat with his name labeled on it or something. People do tend to do a thing called 'change seats every once in a while', you know."

She glares at me and I wisely make up my mind to shut up. "That's not the point! If you weren't sure, you shouldn't have told me! I could have poisoned anyone, for all I know."

"What was in that vial, anyway?" I ask sharply, wanting to change the subject to delay the yelling that is bound to come sooner or later. Might as well fill in some blanks while I postpone it.

"... Mandrake potion," Hermione says quietly. "Don't tell anyone, though. I snuck it out for the sole purpose of putting Malfoy into a coma. Which I failed at, thanks to you," she adds, looking pointedly at me.

This is so unfair! I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she asked for Malfoy's seat. How would I know where he sits every bloody day? I'm not a Seer or anything. Not that I want to be one, but yeah. "Don't blame me! You were the one who asked me. So I gave you the best answer I could!" I throw my hands up in exasperation. "Geez, I try to help, and this is the repayment I get?"

Hermione sighs. "Oh, Ron. It's my fault. I shouldn't have blamed you. You weren't to know, were you?"

"Don't worry about it," I say gruffly. "At least it got one of his croonies. Better than nothing, right?"

She smiles. "True, true. Thanks, Ron. I'm sorry for yelling at you." She blinks innocently. "Let's be fwends again, OK?"

Oh man. What is that girl on? Talk about severe mood swings. One minute she's shouting at me, blaming me for something I couldn't help, and next second she's all innocent smiles and childlike words.

I really think Hermione should stop interacting with house elves so much. It's going to her head.

And this poison thing... it should mean that it wasn't her that was with Malfoy on the banks of the lake, under that tree, was it? I mean, why would she be all cosy with him, and then turn on him so much as to put something that could make him comatose in his cup?

Hopefully, I'm right. I don't know what I'd do if it was her there with him.

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Big thanks to the following people (as usual, replies are for people who reviewed my fic after I updated the previous chapter):

Eliot Z. Wheatherbee: Sorry if you don't like the other POVs. You can always read the HG or DM ones only. :D Thanks for your review.

goodybad: Thanks! Yes, poor tree... -Sighs-

pat-nosferatu: Yes, Hermione's inner conflict is very interesting. :D

lilithofunderworld: Lol, yeah, it was a very Ron thing to do, wasn't it?

queenofthelameos: Thanks for the comment!

xputteckx: I guess she's still trying to poison him because a part of her still won't give up her plans. Plus she's the type to finish everything that she starts... so yeah. -Shrugs-

Venus725: True that...

showmethehobbit: I'm sure it would have been hilarious... :D

degrassichick: Thanks!

fierydarkness: You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it!

iluvdraco: Haha! I think Harry's not too bad in the movies either... or Oliver Wood... hehe. Thanks, I'm honored by your reviews. Lol. I'm sure this story will be pretty long, considering she still has 3 more plans to go.

Savannah Gray: Thanks for pointing that out to me.

jesska-14: It was Ron (you know now, obviously), since I don't think Ginny has short hair. Thanks for the review!

moony's number 1: Wow! Thanks for taking the time to read through all those chapter of mine and review most of them! I really appreciate it. :D

Joshua Davis: Your comment is right at the top of the page. :D

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AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff: Yeah, you're right, there is an awfully huge amount of fics out there that have an ANGRY!Ron in response to Hermione and Draco's relationship. So I followed what you said and made it a bit different... thanks!

Jinenji: I want to read it too...

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kyo19?

nosie: Who knows what he was doing... I don't think he was hiding there though, probably just walking past.

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pluto: Thank you! Your questions have been answered, though probably the answers weren't as exciting as you'd hoped, lol.

homestar-fan: Lol, they all have to backfire, don't they? Otherwise there'd be no fun. XD

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Court12: Lol, thank you! Though Ron was stupider than we might have expected... or he just didn't want to believe his eyes.

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Antanaqui: Yeah, I have mentioned the Howler before, but I wanted to tell how Hermione actually did the Howler because it wasn't explained properly before. :D

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Moonstonegodess, Smart1One, Whisper's Song, filthylittlemudblood, Piggilvr35, 570l3Nxh34r7, Kim, LilacBlu, BaYer04rulz, undyingsoul2159, bewiched, Deana, FlairVerona, Irena-Sooie (sorry, couldn't get your name properly here... FFnet doesn't support the 'plus' symbol), elektrikstorm, YO!, WannaBArtist, goodybad, Aeryn'sArchives, MisticElf, American Deer Hunter 73, Jess, roleena kashka, couch-potato01, preciousonee, snowmouse, luv2dance756, spicygreensalad, future movie maker, MysteryMadeMe, Danish Pastry 28, Narwhal Girl, Hedgehogcrossdresser, BeautifulMisconception, Mellem, DarknessHatesMe, AJ01, anna, xX obseZzionZzZ xX, QueenMazyofLazy, Redberry Greenleaf, FireGuardian, Jasmine, Suisei, reshie, kazzy b, ellejatgorgeousgirlsrok (FFnet doesn't support the email 'at' sign either...), FloraDora, natyslacks, QiRa, MoonLitAngel04, iLuvHawkeye, calamityalpaca43, EvilsmileyfaceofDOOM, anonymousreader, 1time2many, D/HR SHiPPER, Forgotten-Heart, Evie Malfoy, Lady-Crymsyn, Tinka Shimmer Belle, NicoleFelton, SweetieK, duj, Incarnation, UPDATE!, Lady Edelweiss, Some Beauty Never Fades, FaErIexFaItH, powerelite, MarauderGrlEvr, (star) (can't do the star symbol, so that'll have to do), waterfaerie15, TOM-FELTON-IS-SEXY, HarryPotterLover242, beautybunnymouse

Wow... long list! XD

Please review to make me update faster. :D


	26. Chapter 26: Draco

I opened MSN the morning after updating chapter 25 and WHOOOM! I had 30 new messages. XD And all, except 4, were reviews! I don't remember ever getting that many at once. Thanks so much, everyone. I appreciate your support!

This chapter ends slightly more seriously than typically. That's cos 10WtKDM is nearing the 'climax', I guess you'd call it, when Draco and Hermione really start to fall in love. And I say near, because she doesn't love him just yet. You know Draco, he falls in love much faster than Hermione. ;) Hopefully he won't fall out of love with her, though. Hehe!

& to infinity and beyond...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 26

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DRACO

I think I'm becoming a bit too attached to a certain Gryffindor girl.

Not that I mind, but it's her bloody friends I'm worried about. Sure, Harry Potter and Ron Weaselly - no, Weasley, are no match for Crabbe and Goyle's punches, but they're definitely more intelligent than them. Though that's not saying much, since those two are possibly the stupidest students in school history to ever manage to scrape passes for their end-of-year exams.

Anyway, back to the point. The thing is, Potty and Weasel can make my life a living hell if they ever find out. And don't approve. I don't think that Hermione really cares what they think, but that's easy for her; she wouldn't have to endure another full year of torture from those freaks. But I do.

That's only if, and I emphasize if, the two of us get together. Which, at the moment, seems pretty likely, by the way we're progressing, but I don't understand these missions of Hermione's where she attempts to murder me with some kind of weapon or poison. I thought she'd gotten over my bullying her in the previous years?

Obviously not, I realize now, as Goyle lays there on the ground twitching like he just had a heart attack. "Fuck it," I mutter as I shake him violently to try and get him to wake up. "Goyle, what's wrong? Did your drink taste weird?" I have a funny feeling that the aforementioned girl is at least partly responsible for this.

"Coming through," Snape's cold voice floats over to me. I look up and see him parting the students and finally stopping in front of Goyle's body to stare at it. "Who did this?" he says in a dangerous voice. He looks at me. I put on my best innocent look and his gaze sweeps away from me. I sigh to myself in relief. When no-one says anything (well, they wouldn't really want to put themselves in mortal peril, would they?), Snape tuts softly. "No-one is going to own up? Then I assure you, when I catch the culprit, the punishment will be much worse than what you might get now."

I peer around for the Gryffindors. Most of them are still hanging around, shooting nervous looks at the body and Snape. They all know that they are number 1 on the suspect list in Snape's very biased mind, and I don't blame them for feeling frightened.

"Oh man, is that Goyle?" I hear whispers flitting around from one person to another. Snape has gone to fetch Professor Sprout, since he identified the poison to be some kind of plant juice. I have a suspicion that it might be Mandrake potion.

"Yeah, that stupid, big one." I suppress a smirk as I hear that comment. Looks like Goyle's idiocy is famous.

"So, Draco, what now?" Crabbe asks me, looking scared and a tiny bit worried. "Goyle is KO'd-"

"In a bloody coma, not knocked out," I snap quietly, even though they basically mean the same thing. I just feel like correcting someone to make myself feel more in control. This 'attack' has shaken me a little. Hermione would go this far to get at me? "Did you see a phantom fist swing at him out of nowhere? 'Cos I sure didn't."

"Right, coma," Crabbe corrected himself. "Do we take him to the Hospital Wing?"

I glance at Snape as he has a quick word with Sprout. "Nah. Leave him. Snape'll get a stretcher or something and he'll get carried to the Wing." Even as I speak, Snape does just what I predicted. "See? Told you."

"Wow," Crabbe says, looking impressed. "You're so smart, Draco."

You don't really need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what a Hogwarts teacher will do after someone's injured, because accidents happen so often here. Even more so, I heard a 7th year say to me in my 3rd year, after Potter arrived. I guess he's some kind of Harbinger of Doom, minus the big cape and crap. "Er, right, thanks. We should go back to the common rooms, then. I still have Prefect duties." I frown as I try to remember who I'm with on my shift. "Fuck, I'm with Weasley," I mutter angrily. Anyone but him - that snivelling little idiot. To be honest, I'd hoped it would be Hermione. It would be a good chance to talk this through with her.

A little more seduction couldn't hurt, either, though I think I've done quite a lot of that to her already.

I guess what makes me like her is the fact that she doesn't fall at my feet at the slightest hint of interest that I show - not like most other girls. She plays hard to get, and these days, for a guy with my looks, girls who willingly and naturally play hard to get with me is uncommon.

Very, very uncommon.

An hour later, I stand calmly inside McGonagall's office. I don't know why it's always her that we have to report to - why not Professor Snape or someone? Maybe it's because we don't normally do duties with the other Prefect from our houses, but instead with one of another house's. But still, I don't see why we have to report to a Gryffindor teacher, of all houses.

"Weasley's late," I remark casually. McGonagall throws me a dirty look. "Whoops, look, there goes the minute hand. He's 3 minutes late now. He should really get a detention to learn about promptness."

"Mr Malfoy, kindly be quiet," she barks. "I'm trying to mark some essays here, so if you can keep silent I would be very grateful."

Bored, I drag a chair around the wooden floor, making loud noises. "Mr Malfoy!" McGonagall yells. "Shush!"

I open and close my mouth a few times, like a fish, and stare at her with big eyes.

At that moment, Weasel finally arrives. "Sorry-I'm-late," he gasps, clutching his side. "Ran from the common room. I nearly forgot I had duties! Hermione reminded me." To my pleasure, McGonagall looks at him sternly, obviously not pleased at his excuse.

I make a big show of looking at my watch and shaking my head. "Tut, tut. Weasley, you're exactly 7 minutes and 38 seconds late. I'm thinking you should make up for your tardiness by staying after duties tonight." I smirk at him. "I suppose you can call it a detention."

He glares at me. "Shut up, fe- I mean, Malfoy," he snaps. "Being a Prefect myself, I use my right to refuse to do this detention because it's totally stupid." He scoots closer and mutters very quietly, "And I wanna have a word with you later."

"Hmph," I say to both his comments. "We'll see."

"Alright, you two, please be quiet," the Professor said loudly. "Tonight you are to patrol the second floor area. Make sure no-one passes you after 9pm - lights out time. Including your friends," she adds, with a very obvious emphasis on 'including'. "I'm sure you're all familiar with this routine now, so you may go." She waves a hand at the door dismissively. Weasel and I trudge out unwillingly. Man, this is going to be a loooong and very boring night.

I am right about the boring part. Mostly we just walk around in silence, me looking around and him humming random tunes under his breath. After an hour he finally pipes up. "Malfoy, was that Hermione sitting next to you today? On the bank of the lake?"

I freeze. "Where?" I ask, to buy more time. So he knows - probably he was the one Hermione saw when she looked around. That's why she left so suddenly. Well, at least now I know who she was talking about.

"On the bank of the lake," Weasley repeats. "Under that oak tree. I know you know what I'm talking about."

Honesty is the best policy, I think as I open my mouth. So out with it! "Yes. It was. So what?" Weasley stops in mid-step and slowly raises his gaze to glare threateningly at me. I turn to face him, a sneer on my face. "What, are you going to fight me for her?"

"So you do like her," he says in a soft voice. He assumes a fighting pose. "Well, I'm not going to let you have her, of all people," he snarls.

Oh, that hurts. Me? What's wrong with me? At least I'm better than that piece of weasel shit. "Bring it on," I smirk, dodging nimbly as he swings at me to officially start the brawl. "Oohh, you're serious?"

He responds with a low kick. "I'm always serious when it comes to Hermione," he says, breathing hard with anger. This one nicks my shoe but I manage to get away from the worst of it. Time to fight back. I take a jab at his stomach and land an easy hit - he was too occupied trying to hit my face to realize I had found an opening. He grunts and staggers back a little.

"Come on, let's stop before you get internal injuries or a few broken ribs," I say cajolingly. Obviously, I am the better fighter here, since I have been in more physical arguments than he has. But I also remember how bloody stubborn Weasley can be. I decide to list a few more things that will happen to him, should he keep fighting. "Or maybe even a busted bladder, kidney or internal bleeding. A concussion, if you're unlucky."

"..." he stops for a moment. I smile victoriously. Since he forfeited, I guess this makes me the winner. But I am unprepared for the punch on the cheek as he suddenly swings a fist forward out of nowhere. "You bastard! I'm not giving up now!"

I glance at him, wiping blood from the corner of my mouth. I hope he didn't dislodge any teeth. "Well, if you wish," I say with a shrug, and smirk. "Let's go."

Half an hour later, the two of us lie down on the ground, bleeding in various places from cut lips or from being slammed into the stone wall. "Damn, it hurts," he says, groaning in pain. Weasley is clutching his side. I raise an eyebrow. I probably snapped a rib there or something. "Why did you punch so hard?"

I snort derisively. "You wanted to go all out. In case you forgot, I gave you several chances to stop during these last 30 minutes, but you just kept going." I bite my lip and instantly regret it as more blood trickles out. "Ouch." I sit up against the wall and put a finger to my mouth. "Fuck."

"So, who won?" Weasley asks, staring at me.

I stand up uncertainly. "I can still keep going, if you want to fight more," I say, wobbling a little. He got my ankle, that little rat. So now the best I can do is hobble around like an old lady.

He laughs weakly. "You don't look very convincing."

"Probably not," I agree, sitting down again. "Phew. That's better." Looking over to the redhead, our eyes meet. "So what are we going to do about this whole Hermione thing?"

Weasley smiles. "You can have her," he says softly after a pause. I detect the sadness in his voice, and wonder what it took for him to blurt that. Gee. I can't believe I'm actually feeling respect for the hotheaded idiot. "You fought me for her, so it's obvious you really like her. Or even love her," he says, barking a laugh. "All I can say is that you deserve her more than me, at least."

"I don't love her," I say irritably.

Or do I? It's hard to tell, sometimes. I didn't know when me liking her crossed the border to me loving her, but I don't think I have crossed the line. Yet.

It's so weird. I don't think I've felt this way about a girl before.

Man, that sounded so stupid and corny. Like I'm some kind of lovesick fool or something. A Malfoy, thinking something like that? Jesus. What is the world coming to? "Stop it," I mutter to myself.

"Er, Malfoy? What are you mumbling about?" Weasley's curious voice floats into my thoughts. "You'd better be serious about Hermione - if you only fought me for the sake of it, I'll be happy to take her back."

"Nothing, nothing," I say absently. "Of course I'm serious. I just don't love her, that's all. I like her. It's just like another one of my previous relationships, except this time I don't like her just for her looks."

Weasley raises an eyebrow, grinning. "Ooooh, lovey-dovey boy!"

"Fuck off," I say, grinning in spite of myself. "Look at you, you're the same."

"So you like her even though she's trying to kill you," he says matter-of-factly. "Well, I'm satisfied. She's on her 7th mission, you'll only have to endure another three before you can properly admit your feelings to her."

I glare at him. "I'm not going to 'admit my feelings'. I'll ask her out and that's that. No hassle, no fuss."

He returns the glare. "That's just like you did with Pansy! Except it was the other way round, of course. But still. You have to tell her you love her or she won't say yes. Maybe 'like' will do the trick, maybe it won't. But she'll need proof that you're not kidding around. She's not like most girls - as you probably know by now. And if you don't take Hermione seriously, you can be sure Harry and I will beat you up - every day."

"Man, you sure seem to know about how Hermione's brain works," I say, rolling my eyes and ignoring the last part. "Weren't you guys together at one point? Hey, I know! So that's why you want her too. She dumped you, right? And you still love her?" I smirk. "What a sad ending. Too bad you won't be getting her back."

"Shut up," he says hotly, a blush rising to his cheeks. "We were never together - I wish, though - and I didn't get dumped."

I nod. "Right. Whatever you say."

The next morning, I wake with a big headache. Maybe it is because of that talk Weasley and I had last night, about Hermione. Most likely, however, it is probably because of the fight. After we both stopped talking, I'd taken him to the Hospital Wing. Pomfrey had to be woken up by me banging outside her door and howling like a maniac. Weasley gave me a funny look when I was doing that. Dunno what that was about. Maybe it reminded him of Lupin or something.

Anyway, eventually the woman got up (finally) and told Weasley to stay the night at the Wing. "What happened to him?" she'd asked. I told her he fell down and she looked apprehensive. "Right, and the ground gave him a black eye, a cut lip and two broken ribs," she said drily. "You may leave now. He'll be back for duties by tomorrow. Mending bones won't take too long." She also gave me some potions to drink, since I didn't look too good myself. Lastly, Madam Pomfrey healed my ankle with a tap of her wand.

After that I staggered back to my dormitory, dead tired and fell into my bed after undressing.

"My head," I mumble as I sit up slowly, my tongue feeling like sandpaper. Quickly I duck into the bathroom and wash my face in cold water. Ahhh. That's better. Now I feel properly woken up. The headache recedes to a faint pulsing behind my forehead.

I decide to get some breakfast. Glancing at my watch, I see that it is only 6:15am. Being a Saturday morning, hardly anyone is up at this ungodly hour. Sighing, I walk very slowly down the boys' dormitories only to be ambushed by a certain girl with a big chest and black hair. "Draco-darling! How are you today?"

I pry Pansy's hands off my shoulder and glare at her. She shrinks back a bit, but still looks enthusiastic. "Not too good," I say, coughing fakely. "Atchhooo! Whoops, oh, I have a cold. You'd better not hang around me or you'll catch it too."

"Awww, I don't mind getting a cold from my darling!" she coos and gives me a full-on snog. My eyes widen and I nearly throw her off me. She staggers back, surprised at my force. Hurt dawns in her eyes as she stares at me, confused. "What's wrong, Draco? You must really be sick to not enjoy a kiss from me. Here, lie down," she says, acting like a mother. "I'll get you some water.

"Thanks," I say as she quietly walks towards the common room kitchen.

What made me push her away like that? Normally I would have just let her kiss me and take it as another snogging practise. But now... it's strange, but it's almost like I don't want to kiss anyone else, now that I've officially made my affection for Hermione known to one of her best friends, albeit the most angry one. Like I'm feeling that I shouldn't kiss anyone else now that I'm in - like with her.

Oh, what the hell. It doesn't matter whether I kiss another girl or not. I'm Draco Malfoy. I can't just let a stupid girl tie me down. Especially someone like Hermione. Ha! What a joke.

Fuck it. Who am I kidding?

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I'll leave you guessing as to what the last line means. But I'm pretty sure you guys all know, lol... man, I'm so predictable... XD

Responses to a few reviews:

Jinenji: LOL! I think I'd run out of ideas by the 35th feat. :D

Animagious-White-Tiger: Thanks for your insightful reviews. Maybe I'll look into the points you said for my next fic. For now, I'll be writing this in my own style and pace. I appreciate your criticism, though. And LOL! I really doubt Dumbledore did it on purpose, but who knows what's in that man's brain... O.o

w1nd3y: Ehh... so YOU were mystery... lol.

true-slytherin05: Thank you for giving me the longest ever review I have gotten in my life! XD It was fun to read, and I'm happy you took the time to read all 25 chapters and liked it. -Glomps-

moony's number 1: Hahahaha! Sorry! Didn't realize. -Is too lazy to change it- But I'll keep that in mind for the future. XD Croonies... that's probably cos my friend told me that was how you spelt it... blame her! -Runs- I really can't imagine Crabbe and Goyle 'crooning', hehe... my mistake...

chadick: I'll try not to make them OoC. Sorry if they're already OoC (which I think they very much are...). :P

And this goes for EVERYONE: please, do not leave reviews saying (in response to the first chapter) 'it's called the Sorceror's Stone, not the Philosopher's Stone'. I'm sure you're right, but here where I live (New Zealand) the book is published as 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'. I have heard of the Sorceror variation, but since I am more familiar with the former title, that was the one I used. Sorry if I sounded arrogant, but I've had about 3 or 4 reviews saying that, and it really gets on my nerves. D:

Thanks, minasan! -Drowns everybody in hot chocolate- Yum! X3 And I apologize for OoCness. Ron probably isn't likely to be not hateful to Draco, but I need this... otherwise he'll just be the angry best friend again.

One last thing... the talk between Draco and Ron is VERY OoC, but yeah. Kick me if you must... I'm not changing it. :P


	27. Chapter 27: Hermione

Because it was requested, I'll give you guys an estimate of how many chapters are left. It's approximately 3-4 chapters for each method of murder (XD), and there's 3 methods left, plus a few chapters to sum it up, and maybe an epilogue (maybe)... I'd say there's a good 10 chapters left, give or take a chapter or two.

drunkonlife: Lol, I used to be as clueless about all these acronyms on FFnet as you... Ahhhh, the good old da-

-Is smacked-

Random voice: Get on with it!

Me: Sorry! X.x

OoC means Out of Character. :) Sorry for the randomness... I'm writing this at 11:15pm... so tired... I think I got the flu. :(

& bwhahahahah...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 27

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HERMIONE

I think Ron's onto something.

After all, I know it was him who saw me sitting with Draco. Hopefully that's all he saw... I mean, if he tells Harry, then I'll be in for a big, totally unnecessary lecture about how Draco Malfoy is vermin and how I shouldn't be seen closer than 5 metres from him, let alone hang out together.

But still... it's not like I intentionally stalked him and pretended to casually walk up to him to talk. It was a coincidence. Surely he'd understand that much.

Maybe I should have given Draco a few kicks and punches for good measure.

No... I probably couldn't, even if I tried. We've interacted so much because of my plans that it's getting harder and harder to perform them to him. But last night, I steeled myself and poured the Mandrake Potion into his goblet anyway.

I was almost relieved when it was Goyle that we saw twitching on the ground, not the blonde. Seeing his ugly mug never gave me more joy before. Actually, Goyle's face has never given me a spark of pleasure to look at, so this was a great achievement.

The strange thing was, after Prefect Duties that night, Ron had been sent to the Hospital Wing, where we are right now. I don't know what happened, but I do know Draco was with him. Maybe they were attacked by someone? Nah, that couldn't be right. Hogwarts is a apparate-free area, so a mad axe murderer couldn't have just appeared out of nowhere. And the reason that Madam Pomfrey was told, by Draco - Ron falling over - seemed unlikely as well. One of his eyes is swollen and there are various cuts and bruises on his face, and all over him.

That only leaves one thing.

Draco and Ron fought each other.

"Madam Pomfrey, when Dr- Malfoy brought Ron here, was he in bad shape too?" I ask, carefully helping to apply healing balm to Ron's arm. He grunts in pain as I spread the ointment into a cut that is deeper than most, near his shoulder. "Your fault for 'falling down'," I scold him as he tries to twist away. The reason why he hadn't completely healed was that last night, his body had concentrated on mending the broken ribs that he'd acquired.

She looks thoughtful. "Now that you mention it... yes, Mr Malfoy didn't seem too well, either, but he didn't have any serious injuries, so I managed to fix him up quite easily."

That must be it. Ron's expression is one of horror. "How did you know?" he whispers. "What made you ask that question?"

I roll my eyes. "You look beaten up to me. It's not that hard to tell, Ron. I mean, how many poor, unfortunate people get broken ribs when they trip over?"

Ron grins. "I guess you're right." He sighs, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. "We got into another fight. It started from a argument, as usual. He was a bit pissed off that I'd given Blaise a good beating-" I notice that he left out the part, in the fight with Blaise, where he got pummeled. "- and decided to get revenge. Of course, I was unprepared, so..."

I leave Ron exaggerating his story of last night to Madam Pomfrey, who is preoccupied with a pile of papers on her desk. Occasionally she gives a nod or a 'really, dear, that's lovely'.

So Draco beat up Ron. At least he had the decency to bring him to the nurse, but then again, he was a Prefect. If Draco hadn't he'd probably have lost his privilege over all the other students.

Selfish git! And here I was, thinking he could be trusted and might actually be friendly. Damn him!

"Ron," I declare. "I'm going out. Harry and I'll visit you later, I promise." The reason Harry's not here right now is because, being the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain, he has to oversee all of the practises. Of course, Ginny's in the team too, so it's almost like multitasking (even though boys can't multitask, but they can try) for him; flying around on a broomstick whilst occasionally swooping next to your girlfriend and giving her a quick snog, at the same time looking around for a gold glint in the air. Phew.

"W-wait! Where are you going?" I hear Ron's voice faintly behind me as I sprint out the door. "Where's my goodbye kiss? You're so cruel! I'm dying here!"

I roll my eyes in spite of myself and keep running. Gosh. A large amount of boys I know always seem to think they are God's gift to women and expect random kisses every now and then to keep their ego boosted. Well, I certainly am not going to inflate Ron's already-ginormous ego any further.

Now, now. Where could Malfoy be hanging around? It is a Saturday, just after breakfast. He could be still in his common room but that's unlikely.

"Hey, get your bloody team off the court! It's our turn to practise. You've been hogging the pitch for the last few days!"

I turn towards the Quidditch pitch, where Harry's voice had come from. A group of scarlet-robed figures are floating at one end of the pitch, while the other bundle of people with green robes swoop around the goals of the other side. Harry is at the head of his team, looking furious and shaking his fist at the leader of the Slytherin team, who is also about a metre in front of his group, lounging lazily on his broomstick.

I roll my eyes again. Typical Draco. I climb over the gate and land lightly on the other side, too lazy to unlatch the gate.

"If you need proof, then here," Draco flies over easily and shoves a slip of paper into Harry's face. Even from this distance I can see the green tint of the paper and know that it is a valid permission slip. "Signed, _Professor S. Snape_. That enough? Or do you want me to ask him personally - and bring him here to order you to let us play here too?"

"This is beginning to feel really familiar," Harry mutters. "Like that time when Flint was hogging the pitch from Wood... and he had a slip too. Malfoy's every bit as arrogant and snotty as he was..."

Draco leans forward towards Harry. "Pardon?" he asks politely, pretending to dig out his ears. "Maybe I heard wrong. Arrogant and snotty, did you say?"

"I think you heard right," I say loudly, waving up and Harry, who looks delighted and a bit relieved to see me. Another person to back him up. "And that's an understatement."

The blonde looks down at me, surprised. Then, a smirk graces his lips. I can't help but stare at them as he speaks. Oh my God. What is happening to me? AHHHHH! Unfortunately, because I can't read lips, this means that I didn't catch a word he said. "Come again, Malfoy?" Better not call him by his first name, even though I'm used to it. Harry might throw a fit. E.g; _why are you friendly enough with Malfoy to call him by first name terms blah blah blah._

Draco scowls. "Oh, for fuck's sake. Never mind."

"Don't you insult my friends," Harry whispers in a dangerous voice. Oh. Obviously, what Draco had just said had insulted some of us - me, Ron, Ginny, Neville, etc. Good thing I didn't hear it, or I might get spurred on to perform ever-more deadly plans on him.

Not that the one I have in mind isn't nasty enough. I mean, OK, a few insults here and there isn't enough to provoke me, but beating up one of my best friends? That is just unforgivable. Something has to be done to teach him a bloody lesson.

_--- Plan 8: Push Malfoy off the Astronomy Tower_

_When: Sunday night_

_Why: For beating up Ron! How could he? That bastard!_

_How: Lure him up to the tower, talk about the weather and nonchalantly push him off the edge of the top platform. Good thing it has no safety bars, only a few metal slots for telescopes, so that they can be easily fitted in any direction. Which means, a great chance to push him off without too much struggle!_

"Ohhh, I'm scared, Potty," Draco hisses back, amused. "What are you gonna do?"

"Why you little-!" Harry finally loses his temper and his face begins to turn red.

I wave frantically at him. "Don't! Ignore the ferret scum. He's just baiting you!"

"Sticking up for your pathetic friends, are you?" Draco sneers at Harry, before looking over at me and rolling his eyes.

I can see that Harry's fuse is about to blow. Already Georgina and Heather are pulling Ginny back. She is bright red and seems to be struggling to land a blow on Draco's smug face. I don't blame her. In her place, I'd probably be doing the same thing... well, maybe.

Damn. That sentence would have been much easier to say a few months ago... but now, I'm not so sure.

"You bastard!" Harry yells, and starts to bend down onto his Firebolt to accelerate. "You just wait! I'm going to come over there and skin you alive! And roast you over a open fire for the whole world to see!"

Um... Harry? If you did that, I think that the girls would not be very pleased. But of course I don't say this aloud, or I would be the one at the end of Harry's screaming right now.

Draco cocks an eyebrow and smirks in that sexy way. Oh Gods. I have to look away - or else I might suddenly do something stupid... like what Harry and Ron nearly did when they first saw the Veelas. Urgh. That wouldn't be very nice.

"Come get me, Potter."

The chase is on. Harry streamlines himself and hurtles towards Draco, who quickly spins out of the way and accelerates himself. Soon they are nothing but scarlet and green blurs around the pitch. After a while, they slow down, both evidently getting a bit tired. However, both are also too stubborn to give up, and Harry nudges his Firebolt, while Draco does a figure eight on his Firewhiskey, a new broom that had just come out. It isn't really an upgrade to the Firebolt; that broom is simply too good to be upgraded just yet. More like a much better version of the Nimbuses. Much, much better version. It practically matches the Firebolt in both speed, endurance, control and all the other things that Firebolts are so special for, and popularity. There's so many debates in the smaller columns of the _Daily Prophet_ about which broom is better that hardly anyone, except for broomstick or quidditch fanatics, reads them anymore.

"Get-back-here! Malfoy, you slimy git! Wait til I peel you alive..." I barely hear Harry hiss through gritted teeth. I break out in giggles. At that moment, the aforementioned ferret sees me laughing and raises an eyebrow.

"Something funny, Gran- ARGH!" Apparently, seeing my face made him lose concentration and he bursts into one of the stand-towers. There is silence for a few seconds as we all register what happened. Even Harry stops to look at the gaping hole in the thin cloth. Everyone's face is in shock, and Ginny stopped struggling long enough to strike a very odd pose, in which her arms are being pulled back by her fellow Chasers and her mouth is a wide 'O'.

"... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Just as suddenly, he zooms back out of the same tower, making yet another huge hole in the cloth. Bits of blue cloth cling to his clothes as he crashes through. "Watch out!" he screams, until he looks right in front of him.

At me.

"FUCK!" Draco yells. "DAMNIT! Hermione, why'd you have to be in the way?" Too shocked to do anything, I nod my head like a broken doll. "DUCK!" Too late. He pulls the broomstick beside me and falls off. The Firewhiskey spirals off into the distance but comes whirling back, stopping slowly near the goals behind Harry's team.

However, we are not so lucky. Draco's leap - well, fall, to avoid hitting me and making a human pancake out of my body - yes, yes, very sweet, isn't it - meant that he landed on top of me. We roll to the side for several rotations, from the force of impact, until we stop. With me, grabbing him very tightly, on top of him.

"Oh my God, Hermione and Draco are hugging each other tightly!"

"And Hermione's on top! Rawr! Never knew she was the dominant type."

The comments make my face flush crimson, and I would jump away from him, if I could. But no; Draco just has to keep holding me for all it is worth, as if he is deliberately trying to fuel the whisperings. "Let me go," I say quietly, grinding my teeth. "Harry's here. You don't want to make this public just yet." Suddenly I realize what I just said. "Oops. Scratch that."

He smirks his famous smirk that somehow, strangely, I am beginning to find very comforting. "So you're admitting we have a relationship. Fast mover, aren't you?"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and fail.

Just then, hands grab me around the waist and tug up. Surprised, Draco lets me go, and I find myself thrown into Harry's arms. There is a shriek that sounds suspiciously like Ginny. I glance over at her sheepishly, and mouth the words _it's not like what it looks! I swear!_

Harry seems quite flustered to be so close to me. "S-sorry, 'Mione," he says rapidly, babbling a little. "I just wanted to f-free you from Malfoy and-and-and then you kinda got thro-thrown back to m-me so I'm sorry sorry..." OK, babbling a lot.

I break away quickly. "You know Ginny's going to kill you, right?" I murmur from the corner of my mouth, whilst maintaining the look of a forgiving maiden. "I think I heard her screech when you grabbed me."

"Damn," Harry groans, putting his head into his hands. "So I didn't just imagine that scream. It was her."

"Hey, isn't anyone going to help me up?" Draco says pathetically from the ground. I glance around, surprised that the girls hadn't rushed to help him, but soon see what they were busy doing. Because none of the Slytherin team were girls, that only left the 3 on Harry's team - Ginny, Georgina and Heather. The latter two were restraining a yelling and cursing Ginny, who I can't tell if she's screaming at me or at Draco. But seriously, it wasn't my fault, so I don't see why she'd be screeching at me...

While thinking all that, I walk over absently to Draco and hold out an arm. "Here, ferret. Don't do that again, 'k? This is what'll happen to you." I lean closer. "And you just fought with Ron... you must be hurting all over."

His face pales. "You know?"

I snort. "Obviously. I know enough to understand that you started a fistfight with Ron, whom came out worse, and you very nearly left him for dead - if you weren't concerned about you bloody badge." I'm exaggerating a bit here, but I'm sure he knows what I'm getting at. Or else the fight knocked him silly.

Not a good thing. Not at all.

I mean, who else will be the person who I can constantly bicker with, without a reason?

"If I don't keep the badge, mother would go into depression," he mutters. "I'm the only thing she can be proud of at this stage."

Something 'ping!'s in my chest cavity. I'm guessing I just felt a tingle of pity for the poor guy. No! That's not right! This is Malfoy we're talking about here.

Alright, alright. I admit it. That excuse is getting invalid. Draco Malfoy is the one I have the most fun with, sometimes...

But still, he beat up Ron! That's an awful thing to do, and I shouldn't be feeling pity for the beater. He doesn't deserve it! It's the beatee, lying in the Hospital Wing, that needs my pity... or my care... or, at least, my attentions.

"Run along now, Malfoy," I say loudly. In a quieter voice, in response to his appalled expression, "I'll see you later. We'll talk tomorrow night. Look out for an owl from me."

He looks up at me questioningly, but I shake my head and push him away. "Alright then," he says, playing the part of an offended egotistical male perfectly. "Stupid Mudblood. Thinks she can boss me around... hrm, I'll show her..." Personally, I think he's showed me, more than required, that he likes to be the dominant 'bosser-arounder' - in all kinds of situations.

"Yeah, sod off, Malfoy," Harry adds. "Finally. We can practise in peace."

Draco's team looks amazed that he backed off so easily, but I suppose that, from the way that they followed without protest, even they thought that being chased on a broomstick - a Firebolt, of all brooms - by Harry Potter, yougest Seeker in a century (another title to add to his growing collection), crashing through a stand-tower twice and falling off a broomstick is enough to discourage someone from practising in that area after all that happened.

What a fun day. Now all I have to do is perform my next plan... without chickening out.

Maybe I should put a few mattresses underneath, just in case he goes 'splat'?

Ew. Now that just brought some gruesome mental images to my mind... I really shouldn't have thought of that.

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Yes, yes, I know that 'Come get me, Potter!' line was dripping with sexual innuendo - and yaoi, too - but I couldn't help it. I just imagined Draco looking so damn sexy while on a broomstick, doing that 'come - bring it on' hand movement and smirking. Ahhh... -Fangirl sigh- So secksy. XD

Mmm... maybe I should do a fanart of Draco in that scene... hmmm...

Oh yeah, and for those who haven't visited this place yet: http / www .contraveritas. com / why. php It has several essays/proof of why Draco/Hermione could possibly be canon... just take away the spaces, and hopefully it'll work! YOU MUST GO VISIT! It is teh cool! Especially the proof that D/HG exists in the book - most of you D/Hr shippers/fans who have read the whole series probably haven't even realized some of these scenes. I certainly didn't, and I even got my friend to lend me all three movies just so I could search for Draco and Hermione scenes. :P


	28. Chapter 28: Harry

Hello! Been busy lately, so haven't had a chance to write much. :O Anyway, thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated.

A few comments:

Neth: Wow! You printed out my chapters? ;o; -Is very teary-eyed- Thank you for reading!

Christi-McIntyre: I do not have an obsession with Draco Malfoy! -Shifty eyes- Yeah, he does look awful in the third movie... except for the snow scene, where Harry sneaks into Hogsmeade. He looked OK there. But his hairstyle... -Gags-

Madam Whitbrook: I can see why you're getting complaints about your honest reviews. XD But thank you for the constructive criticism. Even though I'm sure I've mentioned somewhere that I'm going to continue using underline whether people like it or not, because that's what I've done so far. So, sorry if it bothers you.

& hehehe...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 28

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HARRY

Why do things like this always happen to me?

I mean, I saved my best friend from the clutches of an evil ferret. What's wrong with that? I don't know, maybe Ginny has PMS or something, but she's being awfully high-strung. I only held Hermione for a millisecond, and here she is, stomping around like a stampeding rhinoceres.

"Uh... Ginny?" I say meekly. "Is something wrong?"

She turns to glare at me. "Of course there's something wrong!"

Oh boy. Here it comes. "Is it... about Hermione? And what happened at the Quidditch pitch?"

"Bingo," Ginny replies, folding her arms. To my surprise she has stopped fuming so much and calmed down. Phew. Maybe she saw the sense of what I did and decided not to pick at it anymore. "It's about Hermione, definitely. What happened at the Quidditch pitch further confirmed my suspicions."

Is she jealous of Hermione?

Maybe Ginny thinks that I'm suddenly in love with her instead?

Oh, honestly. There's no bloody need to be jealous of my one of my best friends! So what if she's a girl? Aren't boys allowed to be friends with girls? I mean friends in a platonic sense, of course. I am in love with Ginny. So why can't she just accept that and not bicker about every little thing that seems like I'm flirting with Hermione? Of course I would do no such thing. Hermione is very pretty and intelligent, but I think she's a tad too smart for me.

And as much as Ron's totally ditching the platonic part of being best friends with Hermione, I don't think he'll have much success with her either. Hermione's shown absolutely no interest, sexually speaking, in Ron at all. She probably can't even imagine him as anything more than just a good friend.

Boy, do I feel sorry for Ron. His crush is definitely very one-sided. Poor guy.

"Ginny - it was an accident, I swear. I didn't mean to hold on to Hermione for so long, you know that." Better add something physical to that statement. Quickly I give her a lingering kiss on the lips.

She frowns as we part. "What are you going on about, Harry? I know that grab was an accident, and I know you're just best friends with 'Mione, nothing more."

I blink. "Oh."

Ginny blinks back, confused.

Inside, I heave a sigh of relief. That's one matter off my chest.

Now what is Ginny talking about? "Ginny? If you weren't complaining about that, then what are you talking about? I can't think of anything that Hermione did at that practice. If you ask me, I think it was that dumbass Malfoy that was ruining the whole thing..."

"Exactly my point," she declares triumphantly. "Don't you see? Malfoy and Hermione are having some kind of secret, undercover relationship that we don't know about! First, I didn't hear a single insult about Hermione when he was badmouthing the rest of us. Two, when he fell off his broom, you had to pull Hermione off him. There's no way she'd publically hold tightly onto Malfoy, but you never know, it could be the other way round."

Malfoy and Hermione? No bloody way! They hate each other. But somehow, the things Ginny said do, somehow, make perfect sense. I remember faintly about how Malfoy seemed to have had held Hermione to him while she was struggling to get up. Maybe Hermione was just too shocked or winded to move, but then she wouldn't have been able to stand up after I freed her.

Oh gods. What is the world coming to? Now I'm starting to really feel sorry for Ron. Of all the male competitors he could have had, he's had world-famous Quidditch player, Viktor Krum, and now? Draco Malfoy. The number one boy that pretty much all the girls (and some guys) want. And also the one whose looks seem to make him shine amongst a crowd. I don't know what he did, but during the summer he's suddenly gotten a lot more good-looking.

And that's coming from me, a one-hundred percent straight male, who is completely devoted to his very pretty, cheerful girlfriend. So who knows what girls think of him? I'd hate to know what kind of sick fantasies the less shy ones have in their minds about Malfoy...

"I'm not saying I accept this," I begin. "But how did you notice all that? I thought you were just struggling to beat Malfoy to a mushy pulp." And any of you, if you'd been there, would have thought the same thing. The way Ginny was yelling and waving her fists about would have scared anybody - Malfoy or not.

Ginny preens. "I have eyes, you know. And ears. I can't believe you didn't see it. It was so obvious."

I scowl. "OK, OK. I admit it. I can't multitask like you. And it's not like I actually suspected anything, so I wasn't looking out for signs."

"You should learn," she purrs. "Multitasking, I mean. Could help you do stuff... like kissing and fighting off admirers at the same time." She giggles. "It'll be really fun to watch."

"We'll see about that," I smile.

Ginny glances at her watch. "Where's Hermione and Ron? It's 8pm. They should be back from Prefect duties by now. They left quite a while ago - way before dinner, wasn't it?" She frowns. "Don't tell me they're being lectured by McGonagall again... God, she's a good teacher, but she sure knows how to drag out her talks."

"True." I remark. "But at least this gives us some privacy. It's so rare not to have Ron hanging on to our every word in case either of us says anything suggestive."

She laughs. "Yeah, he's almost like a second shadow. It's amazing how he can follow us everywhere. Remember the time we went to Hogsmeade on a date, and we found phantom footprints following us? I thought it was a ghost. Nearly screamed my head of and pulled your arm out of its socket by grabbing onto it."

I snicker, and wince at the memory. That had hurt. "Yeah, until I stamped on his foot and Ron's voice started howling in pain."

We both chuckle at the memory. Ah. It hasn't been all that long since Ginny and I started dating, but so many things have happened. Namely amusing dates like that one, and also, Hermione's plans to murder Malfoy.

That also nullifies the possibility of the two having a relationship. I mean, what kind of deranged girl cooks up plans to do things like poison her boyfriend, just for the sake of it? I can't say Hermione isn't like that when she gets really mad, but still... there's a limit to how crazy she can get.

"So how should we make the most of our time alone - short of tearing each others' clothes off?" Suddenly, her eyes light up. "Hey! Harry, I know! While we have this precious privacy, let's go to the Astronomy tower! It's the place for all the couples in Hogwarts. The romantic ones, that is."

It's hard not to notice the tone of her voice. Obviously she wants me to take her there. She flutters her lashes and I feel my heart going a lot faster than is healthy. Looks like Ginny still has that pulse-speeding effect on me. Sighing, I take her hand. "Let's get going, then," I say, grinning as she beams at me and runs ahead enthusiastically, pulling me along.

Minutes later, we arrive. I'm hardly panting, since I come here every Wednesday night for Astronomy. But Ginny, who isn't used to going so far in the castle, huffs a little as she tugs me up the staircase. "How... many... more... to go, Harry?" she asks breathlessly. "I feel like my feet are going to rot! These stairs are killers."

"If you're already tired, then I have bad news for you," I grin. "We're nearly halfway."

Thankfully it's still quite early in the evening and there are no teachers about. Ginny's curses echo throughout the tower. I clamp a hand over her mouth and she starts giggling. "Shhhh," I hiss. "I lied. We're nearly there. And you know there's always a teacher on duty at the Astronomy tower - although they've given up trying to stop students making out here, they still dish out detentions for people who swear." In a remote part of my brain, I faintly think of the words 'making out'.

Gods. I shouldn't have said that. Now Ginny probably thinks that I'm coming here just to try and stick my tongue down her throat or something.

Yuck! That is disgusting. I would never ever think of doing that. Never - though I know a few people that would...

"Oh my God! Somebody, come help! Help!"

Someone's screaming interrupts my thoughts. Exchanging nervous looks, Ginny and I speed up the rest of the steps in record time and burst onto the Astronomy balcony.

And see... nothing.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asks a person next to her. The girl points at a spot near the corner of the balcony and all of a sudden, I see the hand that is hanging on to the ledge.

"Shit," I mutter. "Someone's fallen down!" Quickly, grabbing her hand, the two of us push to the front.

Ginny rolls her eyes at me. "And you tell me not to curse?" she throws at me as we struggle through the small group of people, some standing nearby, watching fearfully while the rest (a few, the more burly guys) try to pull the fallen person up. I glance down and spot a blonde head. Oh. It's just Malfoy.

Wait a sec... who's that brunette girl hanging onto his other arm? "HERMIONE!" I screech and throw everyone away. "Hermione, is that you?"

"Harry?" her panicky voice shouts out. "Oh, thank God you're here. Now pull us up!"

I grab at Malfoy's arm. "Watch it!" he yelps as something clicks in his elbow. "That bloody hurt!"

"You're not exactly in a good position to argue with me, Malfoy," I say through gritted teeth as I try to grab onto his elbow and pull. "One... two... three..." With Ginny holding onto my wrist, we both pull at the same time. But Malfoy has a hard time letting go of the edge, because if he does, and we don't get a good grip on him, he'll slip and die. Also, he can't exactly let go of Hermione to climb up. No exactly good choices to make.

What to do? What to do? SOMEONE, HELP! Mentally I cry this message out. Not that anyone would hear, but still... it's good to think that I'm trying to get help in some way.

Soon, Ginny and I fall back, defeated. The other couples had either gone for help, run off or are standing around us watching. "Is Draco going to be OK?" asks a blonde girl timidly. Her boyfriend shoots her an angry glance that she ignores. I shrug. Her eyes start watering and she sobs into the guy's chest.

I roll my eyes. God. Why do all the girls care about Draco's safety, but hardly even noticed Hermione was there? People these days...

"What should we do?" Ginny asks. She's still pulling on Malfoy's arm so he doesn't get too tired and let go. "Quick! We don't have much time! He seems like he's going rubbery." Hm. Like my arm when Lockhart did his spell to try and fix it. Fat lot of help that did. I'm glad he's still in St Mungos - maybe I should sneak back there and perform another memory-loss spell on him so he stays there for good...

"HARRY! Stop dithering and hurry up! Summon a broomstick or something - just get us up!" Hermione's shrill voice cuts through my fond memories. Oh. Right. Get them up here. Of course.

"_Accio- _ARGH!" Something big, black and hard crashes into my face. Ginny shrieks and leaps back, letting go of Malfoy's arm. He nearly falls off, but thankfully Ginny had the sense to run back quickly and hold on to him again. "What is it? Get away!" I swat at the air in front of me and my hand bangs into something that feels suspiciously like bone. "Yikes!"

People are staring at me oddly. "I think he's gone hysterical," a girl with chestnut hair mutters to her friend, who nods vigorously.

"I'm not bloody hysterical!" I yell at them. "Can't you see- oh," I say softly. A bony, black head with empty eye sockets nuzzles my pockets, looking for treats. "It's... a thestral." The 'horse' gives the slightest nod.

_Indeed. Did you not call for us?_

I stagger back, the mental words booming in my head. "Ca... call for you?" I try to remember anything about summoning a big black skeletal horse - with wings - and come up blank. "Er... sorry, but I really don't recall."

_Oh? So you do not require my help? Strange - I could have sworn a plea for help came from you._ The thestral tosses its head, confused. Pawing the ground, it flaps its wings a few times, getting ready for flight.

Help? "Oh! I remember! I did call for you! I think I mentally..."

"Wait, don't go!" Ginny's voice rings out amidst mutterings from all the other people. "Can you please help these two up? They've been hanging here for the last 10 minutes. Or even longer, maybe. So if you could fly down and help them out...?"

Whoops. I totally forgot about that in the shock of seeing the thestral. I slap my forehead. Thank God for Ginny, or those two would be dangling there all night.

Some friend I am!

_Of course._ The creature beats its powerful wings and lifts off. Even those that can't see it, i.e those who have never witnessed a death, feel the gust of wind and screech.

"OMG! What was that?"

"Is there actually something there?"

"Maybe... oh my God, this is totally creeping me out. Let's get out of here."

With that, the rest of the students who were here hurry away. "Good luck with your invisible friend!" a Gryffindor seventh-year that I've seen a couple of times calls out. I roll my eyes and watch nervously as the thestral flies away in order to circle back. Why is it taking so bloody long? I mean, I really appreciate its help, but it doesn't need to show off its flying skills. I seriously doubt that it needs to fly halfway to the Forbidden Forest just to wheel around to change direction.

_I can hear your thoughts, _an amused voice says in my head. _My wings are much larger and are not as agile as birds. It takes longer for me to turn back than them. I am sorry for any inconvenience, but this is as fast as I can make a turn._

Embarrassed, I quickly apologize in my head. Argh. How humiliating.

"Potter! Will you hurry to fuck up? At this rate I'm going to be hanging onto this ledge till tomorrow! Tell that thestral thing to beat its bloody wings faster, because my fingers are starting to numb!" Malfoy's angry voice shouts.

"Shut up, Draco! It's doing it's best!" Hermione snaps back. "I'd like to see you getting us, up if you're so damn superior."

That silenced him, if for a while. The black shape that is the thestral starts to grow steadily larger as it flies towards us through the hazy night air, and Ginny and I cheer. "Go, go, go!" I mutter. "Before those two go splat on the ground..."

Suddenly, Malfoy's fingers slip with a small 'squeak'. "Fuck! Help!" he screams as his hand is separated from the ledge. I rush forward and dive onto the ground to get a hold on his wrist, and grab wildly at his fingers. I hear Hermione's terrified yell and silently urge the thestral to fly faster.

_I am trying my best. I should be able to get to them before they..._

Before I hear the rest of the sentence, Draco's hand slips away from mine and with a piercing shriek from Hermione, the two of them plummet towards their doom. "THESTRAL!" I scream. "Hurry! They're falling!" I almost lean forward enough to fall down myself, if Ginny didn't grab my arm to pull me back.

"We should have tried some levitation spells," she says, shaking her head. "Like _Mobilicorpus_. Or something."

I shake my head furiously as I helplessly watch the flying horse zoom, with its wings nearly close like a diving falcon, towards the falling shapes. "No. Remember? Flitwick said those spells are just barely enough to lift a human, let alone two near-adults. We'd probably have lifted them enough for Malfoy to let go of the edge before they fell."

Eyes glued to the diving thestral, I dimly feel my heart pounding like a gorilla at my ribcage. Is it going to make it? What if it doesn't? What if Hermione falls to her death? It would be all my fault... I should have checked up on her using the Marauder's Map. Or at least asked around where she might be! Oh Gods. If she dies I'm seriously going to suicide. I shut my eyes, wishing hard that the thestral would get there on time... before their heads crack open like eggs on the stone ground.

"Harry!" I flinch and open my eyes cautiously. "They're OK! They're alive!" Ginny is shaking me ecstatically, her eyes teary. Her cheeks look wet. Obviously she'd cried in relief and then wiped the tears away quickly.

"Really?" I ask, a bubble of happiness swelling inside me. "Where are they?"

She looks around and points to a black dot in the distance. "The thestral's taking them to the Hospital Wing, at my request. I think they have the right to stay there for a night, after all the trauma they went through."

I sigh in relief. "Thank God."

As the two of us walk back to the Gryffindor common room, spirits soaring, I think about how Malfoy and Hermione could have gotten there in the first place. Could it have been another of her plans? No; it would be going a bit far if she tried to really kill him. I don't think she tried to push him off the edge of the tower or anything - that would be murder. And I know for a fact that Hermione definitely isn't a murderer. She may be a bit odd at times, but she's not psycho like that.

Oh well; I guess the only way to find out is to ask Hermione herself when she comes back.

I really hope I'm right.

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Woo! A slightly more action-packed chapter than usual... O.o I think. Well, Draco was hanging there for quite a while because of Harry's indecisiveness about what to do to help them, but good thing he survived...

Review please. :D


	29. Chapter 29: Draco

OMG... I've read HBP... NO! How could JK do this to us D/Hr shippers? Ahhhhhhhhh! Die, Ron, Die! I can't believe she put Ron and Hermione together. (Well, it was pretty obvious that it was coming, but still!)

I shall always be a Draco/Hermione shipper! T.T -Strangled sob- Even though it'll never be canon...

On a happier note... WHOA! I reached 1000 reviews! So happy! -Dances around crazily- Thank you so much!

About the Ginny seeing thestrals thing - my bad, my bad, I forgot she couldn't see them. Just pretend she pointed in the general direction of the Hospital Wing when Harry asked where they were, and that she only knew the thestral was there because of Harry's mumblings.

I'm also sorry about underlining so much, I'll try to emphasize less words from now on. U.U But I'm not going to change to italics, because I'm a perfectionist, hehe. :P

& let's go...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 29

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DRACO

_"I'll see you later. We'll talk tomorrow night. Look out for an owl from me."_

That was what she said. I wonder what she wants to talk about. Maybe she wants to beat the crap out of me for beating the crap out of Weasley. That would make sense, but she'd be pretty dumb to think that she, a girl, could beat me up.

And Hermione is definitely not dumb.

I pace around the Slytherin common room. Unfortunately, it's just after dinner on a Sunday night, so the room is pretty crowded. Which means that I am forced to pace in a very small area of space while around me, idiots are giggling and playing games like Exploding Snap or Gobstones, primitive forms of entertainment that I have never found very amusing.

Except when a card explodes in someone's surprised face, or they get squirted with stinky goo. Now that's what I call entertainment.

"Draco-poo, want to play a game of Strip Poker?" Pansy coos. The room falls silent at her question and all stare at me hopefully. What the fuck? She only asked me to play a game. It's not like she asked anything obscene.

Oh wait. Did Pansy say 'Strip Poker'? Are my ears deceiving me? "Wh-what did you say, Pansy?" I ask, just to make sure. Not that I mind playing such a game, as long as Parkinson's not there to ogle at me the whole time.

"S-t-r-i-p Poker, darling," she says, spelling it out like I am some kind of retarded person. My hands itch to smack her head until her neck has the flexibility of an owl's, but restrain myself by deep breathing. In... out... in... out... Phew, that's better. Yes, think calm... think meadows of flowers... and crystal clear lakes... with piranhas on the lake bed, snapping their jaws.

Ahhhh. Very relaxing, thinking of killer fish.

I think for a moment, deciding whether to keep pacing or play an innocent game of Poker. "Sure, why not?"

At my words, the whole room starts cheering and crowd around the centre of the room, where Pansy leads me to a table inhabited by Blaise (oh God), Zack (a cute-looking brunette boy who recently started hanging out with Blaise and co.) and a few others I don't quite know the names of. One is a tall boy with cropped, dirty blond hair; the other two consist of a pair of giggling girls that, I find, is the source of the loud giggles I had heard earlier.

If they keep that up, I might just resort to Spellotaping their lips together.

"Hey there, Draco," Blaise says, his eyes sweeping from my ice-washed jeans to my hooded red and white jumper. I am suddenly glad that I didn't decide to wear a t-shirt or anything less revealing than what I have on now. Blaise had always said he wanted to be a fashion designer when he left school, but when he looked you up and down you could never be sure if he was just having a look at your outfit or if he was checking you out.

Fuck, that brings a shiver to my spine. Quickly I sit down on the thick carpet next to Pansy and the tall boy. _What's his name again? _I wonder as Blaise explains the basic rules.

"Before we start, I'd like to get a few things sorted. First, the teams." Blaise motions with his hands to Zack, Pansy and one of the girls. "Zack, Pansy and Laura will be in my team. Draco, your team'll be Kyle," he pointed to the boy sitting next to me, who nodded in acknowledgment. Oh, that's right. Kyle. Isn't he in the Quidditch team or something? I'm sure I've seen him there when I give out pep talks. "Natalie and... whoops. We've got seven people." He turns to the crowd. "Anyone up for a game of Strip Poker?"

A few hands raise eagerly, and at last a goth with short, spiky black hair and pale face sits down next to Kyle. "Your name is...?" Pansy asks, raising an eyebrow. The boy isn't ugly, but his nosering and several earrings on each ear gives him a foreboding air.

OK, well I'm guilty of having pierced ears too, but not that many.

"Nathan," he answers casually. Natalie and Laura start giggling again, much to my annoyance.

Blaise starts speaking again. "Right, now that we have equal numbered teams, I'll just go through the rules.

"First of all, and most importantly, you need the willingness to bare it all." Blaise and I exchange smirks across the table. "I think that, because we're in the presence of younger people, we'll stop the stripping at underwear. You're allowed no more than six items of strippable clothing. Socks, gloves, etc. count as two."

"Damn," I hear Zack mutter. Glancing at him, I see that he is wearing enough clothes to survive in Antarctica. I stifle a laugh as he is forced to take all his extra jackets and sweaters off. Most of the others take some clothing off too, since it's approaching Winter and the weather is getting cold.

"First we split the 9s, 10s, Jacks, Queens, Kings and Aces from the deck of cards. Then we lay two cards face up in the middle of the table. One team asks a question, which they must know the answer to. The other team gets 10 seconds to say the answer. If the answer is correct, they get to pick a card and the other card goes to the other team. The group that asked the question must also take off one item of clothing. If the answer is wrong, the team that asked the question gets to choose the card and the answering group will be the ones stripping.

"When both teams have 11 cards in their hands, the team with the most clothing on wins." Blaise looks at me.

I smile at the cue. "Well then," I drawl. "Let the game begin."

Blaise's team wanted to ask a question first, so we let them. "Who likes Hermione Granger?" he asks.

Oh fuck. Could he know? I search his face for signs of smugness but find none. Phew.

"Four... three..." Kyle mutters next to me.

"Ron Weasley," I say loudly. Beside me, Natalie cheers while Kyle looks dumbstruck. Obviously he doesn't know who any of those people are, strangely enough. Oh well.

Zack groans as I pick a card - an Ace - and slides the other one towards them. "Come on, take it off," Nathan cajoles evilly. Zack glares at him and reluctantly takes off a sock. Laura and Blaise do the same, while Pansy takes off her woollen jumper to reveal a pink tank top. I roll my eyes. Typical Pansy.

"Our turn," I say. "Alright. In my first year here, Harry Potter went through a series of ordeals in order to get to Voldemort, each set by different teachers. What was Snape's?" Professor Snape had told me a few years back, when I had asked him. I doubt anyone could answer that, apart from the trio themselves.

A few seconds passed. Suddenly, Blaise speaks up. "A logic puzzle, involving bottles of potions."

Dammit! I forgot that Blaise was there also when Snape had told me. I grumble a bit and take off a sock. The rest of my team follow suit, except for Nathan, who is barefoot. He is forced to take off his black jacket. Zack laughs at him, and he does the finger back.

The game progresses for a while longer, until both of our teams have 9 cards in our hand. Their team, mostly due to Pansy's fast mouth (and usually wrong answer) suffered the most, having had to take off 5 pieces of clothing. They are all pratically in their underwear. Zack looks very embarassed, while Pansy doesn't seem to mind a bit.

However, my team isn't too well off either. Us three guys are all bare-chested due to the fact that none of us wanted to give up pants just to keep our tops on. Natalie's face is flushed bright red, and I don't blame her. I mean, she's surrounded by three guys, one of which is the hottest in the whole school (I'm not bragging, just relaying what other people say of me), and the other two fairly decent too. The girls in the crowd are all swooning and are egging us on.

At that moment, a snowy white owl swoops through an open window and lands on my head. "Don't you dare poop," I hiss as I pick up the letter it had dropped in front of me. I recognize the owl as Potter's - Hedwig, I think it's called. It hoots indignantly and jumps off my head to land on the table, and pecks at the cards. Unfolding the letter, I absently shoo it away and start reading.

_Draco,_

_Meet me outside Snape's classroom. We're going to the Astronomy Tower to have a little friendly chat. I'm sure whatever girl that is clinging onto your arm at this minute won't mind too much if you go for a little walk. _Without _her, mind you._

_Hermione_

Astronomy Tower, huh? Isn't that the unofficial official spot for all Hogwarts couples to snog their throats out? I smirk to myself and refold the letter. The owl, seeing that I had read the contents of its delivery, hoots one more time and escapes from the clutches of Laura, who was hugging it tightly. A few white feathers fall from its tail as the bird zooms up through the window and away.

"Sorry guys," I say. "I've got to go. Maybe I'll play again next time." The crowd gives a big, disappointed 'awwwww' and watch me as I put on the shirt I was wearing and stuff my jumper into my bag.

I head out of the common room and walk slowly towards the Potion classroom for us sixth years. What could Hermione want? It's unlikely she called me out to go to the Tower to do what everyone else does. I really don't think she's the type, even if I myself wouldn't really mind.

Maybe she's going to try and push me off the tower in revenge for physically bullying wimpy Weasley. Hm. That rather has a ring to it. Wimpy Weasley. Sounds like a good nickname to me. It doesn't matter that we don't happen to be as spiteful towards each other as before; I still reserve the right to mock him freely.

But still. Hahaha! What a joke. Even she's not that violent.

I think.

Well, even if she tried, she won't succeed. I'm stronger than her. She won't have a chance to do anything funny to me.

Moments later, I arrive at the designated spot. Stopping a few metres away, I watch as Hermione glances at her watch a little agitatedly, and keeps looking around. After sweeping the surrounding area with her gaze she spots me. "Oh, good. You're finally here." A idiot wouldn't have missed the heavy emphasis on the word 'finally'.

I roll my eyes. "What am I, 20 seconds late?"

She grumbles at my remark but says nothing. Motioning for me to follow her, she starts striding briskly towards the Astronomy Tower. Shrugging, I jog to catch up and walk alongside her. The silence, strangely, isn't the usual strained, uncomfortable type, but somehow more casual and almost... friendly.

I must be imagining things. OK, I might like Hermione but it's unlikely she'll ever return my feelings.

Urgh. I'm going all soppy and lovey-dovey. Man, the things I say... sometimes I scare myself with what comes out of my mouth.

Ten minutes into the walk, we enter the more populated areas of the corridors. A group of girls walk past and give me seductive looks. "Hey, sexy," one says boldly, batting her lashes at me, while her friends giggle.

Hermione frowns at them. "Don't you have better things to do than flirt with him? In any case, you're blocking the way."

The girl who spoke looks slightly abashed and glares at her. "No one spoke to you," she says, with a venomous edge to her voice. Her friends blatantly refuse to move when Hermione tries to walk through them.

I sigh. "Move," I command. Immediately a path is cleared. "Thank you," I say, smiling graciously at them. Several girls titter and blush. I turn back to Hermione as we amble away. Her face is stormy as she glances irritably at me. "There, that wasn't too hard, was it? You could have just asked me to tell them to get lost, you know."

"Oh, for goodness sakes, you don't need to show off your hypnotic power over females in front of me, you know," she says, looking peeved.

However, she's bound to get more peeved. As we pass by all the people, a large amount of girls - those who aren't too shy to look at me - flirt outrageously with me or at least give me longing stares. Hermione's face, at first with a politely interested smile, slowly turns stony as if she's been petrified, until by the time the fourth bunch of girls had bid me goodbye she looks really to murder someone, anyone. "Hey, if you keep your face like that, it'll stay that way forever," I warn her. "Not that it looks much worse than your normal expression..." I add as an afterthought.

The punch I receive is almost expected. "You're a real bastard," she mutters. "The next time those stupid girls come giggling, I'll show them..."

I snicker. "What are you going to do, lecture them to death?"

She glowers at me. "Wait and see, Draco."

Almost as soon as she finishes her words, we pass by a large gang of 7th year girls. Just as I thought, because they are older, they have more confidence and wasted no time showing their interest in me. "Hi there," a girl who shows every sign of being a bimbo brushes my arm as the group stops next to us. "My, you're a handsome one. Are you single?" She gives a disdainful look at Hermione, who did not seem to notice.

To my surprise, she speaks up. "Sorry girls, this one's mine," she purrs in an almost Pansy-like manner, at the same time grabbing my arm and leaning her head on my shoulder. I smirk. Where Hermione learns things like this, I'll never know.

The 7th years hardly seems put off by her display. "Why do you go out with someone like her?" the same girl asks, looking like there is something smelly under her nostrils. She puts a hand on her hips, showing off her figure and pretty face. "Dump her and come with me. I'll fulfill your wants much better than that girl."

"Still not convinced, are we?" Hermione says pleasantly. "Draco, I think we need a bit more exhibition." She puts her hand on my chest and digs her nails in. Taking the painful hint, I circle my arms around her waist and am shocked when she tips her toes and starts to kiss me.

And I'm talking a real snog, not a lip-to-lip peck. Of course, dumbstruck as I am, I return the kiss. Might as well take advantage of the situation. When we break apart, the look on the girl's face is priceless.

"Damn slut," she mutters ominously as she stalks off, but finds her path blocked by me. "What do you want?"

I place a finger under her chin and force her to look into my eyes. "Did I hear you call my girlfriend a slut? Because if you did..." I make a threatening gesture with my hands and push her back roughly. She glares at us, but I detect the trace of fear in her eyes as she hurries away with her mob.

Hermione gives me a high five as they disappear around a corner. "Nice job, you caught on fast," she says, beaming. "That girlfriend bit was awesome. She looked so scared! I should have taken a photo of her face!" She chuckles. "Well, let's go."

Before she turns I grab her wrist and pull her close. "I know there's a part of you just screaming for that to be true," I whisper throatily. "Isn't there?"

She blushes crimson. "Shut up! I'm thinking no such thing. Hurry up, and stop asking stupid, pointless questions like that!" She pulls her arm away from me and walks very fast to the base of the stairs to the tower. "Oh damn, I hate this part. At least it's good exercise..."

I smirk. Her expression pretty much gave away the fact that I'd be right. Maybe the feelings are more mutual than I'd thought.

Twenty minutes and a long climb up the stairs later, we finally arrive at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Here, couples can be seen entertwined with each other very tightly. Most are also practically sucking the other's face out with their passionate snogging. I glance at Hermione and notice that she seems vaguely uncomfortable.

"We look a bit out of place here, don't we? Maybe we should imitate everyone else," I say conversationally. She throws me a dirty look and beckons me over to the very side of the platform, where the telescope is. "What, don't tell me all we're coming up here to do is look at the stars."

"Well, we're certainly not going to do that," she says viciously, jabbing a finger over her shoulder at a pair in the corner who are obviously playing tongue tennis.

I stifle a laugh at her nervous look, as though just looking at them might spur me on to do the same to her or something. "I don't force girls to do anything," I reply lightly. "It's all up to you, Hermione."

She rolls her eyes. "Come over here," she says, sounding annoyed. "Look at Jupiter. It's so big."

I obey and stare through the telescope. "I don't see anything."

"Turn it, dumbass!" she says, as if talking - though rudely - to a three-year-old.

I scowl and do what she says. Still nothing. I turn around rapidly, a bit pissed. "What exactly am I lo- holy shit!"

"DRACO!" Hermione screams as the force of my impact upon bumping into her when I turned pushes her off the ledge. Quickly I grab her arm to stop her falling, but the gravity pulls me down too and in the end, I'm left hanging onto the ledge with one hand while grabbing her arm with the other.

Shrieks ring out from the top of the platform. "Oh God! Someone get help! Somebody's fallen over the edge!"

Minutes later, I hear a laughing couple come up. The voices sound very familiar... _Potter and Weaslette!_ My mind realizes as Potter's face materializes above us. "HERMIONE!" he screeches. "Hermione, is that you?" Oh yes, some welcome I get.

"Harry?" Hermione yells back. "Oh, thank God you're here. Now pull us up!"

Pulling us up took a very, very long time, and we didn't even get back up. Somehow Potter managed to involve a bloody thestral and when my fingers slipped, it caught us, thankfully. At least the thestral was useful. More so than Potter, that's for sure.

_Are you alright?_ The skeletal horse asks us when we land on its bony back, and after the initial shock had worn off.

I massage my back and glare at it. "Not particularly, no. Next time, bring a cushion, will you?"

Hermione thumps my head. "Draco! Thank it at least!" To the thestral, she does a little bow and says curteously, "Thank you for saving our necks. If it weren't for you, we'd be human pancakes right now, plastered to the stone ground by bl-"

"Skip the details, Hermione," I snap. "I really don't want to visualize my pancakerized body right now, not when there's still a chance it might happen."

_I assure you, I will not let you fall off, _says the thestral, sounding a bit ruffled. _Clinging on tightly enough, however, is up to you. If you fall because you did not hold on, then that is not my fault._

I snort. "Yeah, that really makes me feel better." After a slight pause - "Thanks, anyway."

_You are most welcome. _

The thestral lands gracefully next to the Hospital Wing. I pat its neck as I slide off and rap on the door. Madam Pomfrey's face appears at the window and the sound of bolts and locks being opened is heard. "Yes?"

"I dunno," I say blankly, after a few moments of silence. "Ask the thestral."

Hermione and I don't hear what the thestral says, but obviously it said something that satisfied Pomfrey, and we are led inside. "Goodness gracious, fell off the edge of a building? The Astronomy Tower, of all buildings, too!" She clucks and tells us to lay on two beds in a room in the corner. "Get some rest, you two. I'll get some shock medication for you now."

I shut the door as she leaves. Hermione looks a bit panicky at the prospect of spending the night in the same small room as me, and on beds that are so close by. "God, I'm not going to rape you or anything," I sneer when she sits on the bed farthest from me.

She flinches. "I never said you would," she says loudly. With a slight blush, she lowers her voice, glancing around. "Whoops."

"I think," I begin quietly so not to wake up the other patients, advancing towards her with a smile. "that I deserve at least some kind of repayment for the mental trauma that I went through up there. After all, it was all your fault for asking me to go up there and look through the telescope."

"It was your fault for bumping into me," she retorts, folding her arms across her chest. "Watch where you swing that big butt of yours next time!"

I laugh. "You're saying I have a big butt? That's like the pot calling the kettle black."

She flushes. "I do not have a big bum!" she complains. "You-"

But she is silenced as I put a finger on her lips. "Shh," I whisper. "Is the nurse coming?"

Hermione shakes her head, looking confused.

"Good," I smirk, and lean down to kiss her hard on the lips. Her response is almost immediate; I guess she was half-expecting it. Slowly the kiss deepens and I push her down onto the bed, one hand supporting myself, the other holding one of her wrists down. I move my lips down, past her ear, to her neck and then flick my tongue at her collarbone.

"Draco... no, don't, not here," she moans softly, trying feebly to push me off. Enboldened by her pathetic, half-hearted attempts, I start to undo the buttons of her blouse with my lips when suddenly the door handle turns and Madam Pomfrey's head appears in the doorway. The two of us stare at her like deer caught in headlights, her lying underneath me on the bed, me with my head lifted a few inches off her buttons just in time.

"Well, well, well," she says, an uncharacteristic smirk flickering to her mouth. "You two definitely don't look like you need any medicines. You seem healthy enough - or maybe this is something that'll help you get over the shock? I'll just leave you to it then, Mr Malfoy and Miss Granger. Please don't make too much noise, there are sick students next door." With one last wink, she closes the door.

Embarrassed, and as if suddenly realizing what had happened, Hermione nearly kicks me off her and stands up, buttoning her top as fast as her fingers will allow her. I am also surprised at the very unexpected response from Pomfrey. Kicking us out in disgust was something I would have bet that she'd have done, but encouraging us? Maybe she was sex-deprived in her late teens and so, supported people like us.

Though I wasn't really going to get as far with Hermione back there as I might have with any other girl. I mean, we're not even going out, so I don't really have the right to shag her...

_Not that you minded with most of your other relationships, _an evil little voice says in my head. _Half of your sex partners were girls that you weren't even dating._

Oh, shut up, I think dismissively, and shut the voice away into the back of my head. Hermione is very different from them.

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I had to do quite a bit of research for the strip poker rules... XD I hope you liked that. Anyway, guess what? Tom Felton is a proven D/Hr fan! -Dances around in glee- I'll get the link to the page where he says that up as soon as I find it again. Basically, the question went something like this:

Q: So, who do you think Draco will end up with, girl - or boy wise? (Gotta love the slash.)

Tom: Well, I still think Hermione's going to turn bad and go out with Draco.

HeheheHE!


	30. Chapter 30: Ginny

One of my reviewers just reminded me that Ginny should be able to see thestrals, because she was in the room when Sirius died! Wasn't she? Correct me if she wasn't, I can't remember at the moment.

And the link some of you have been waiting for: www. livejournal. com/ users/ dawniky/ 185985. html Remember not to just paste it in, you need to get rid of the spaces first. :D Enjoy! And have a look at her recent journal entries, there's one about several suggestive quotes in the book that hints at all sorts of crazy couples (they weren't meant to be suggestive, of course).

Replies to reviews are at the end of this chapter (that's why it is SO long). They take up like half the length of this chapter... I'm sorry for the REALLLLLY long thanks part, but just read it up to there and find your name with Ctrl and F (if you reviewed the previous chapter). I hope it doesn't bother you too much. X.x

& whoopeee...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 30

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GINNY

Thank God Hermione is safe. If she ended up as a stain on the ground, destined to be walked over by thousands of Hogwarts students, that would be horrible. I probably would have dived down and joined her.

But that's beside the point. What matters is that she's safe now...

_Safe, and with Malfoy in the Hospital Wing. Where none of the other students are conscious. Which means...! _A voice, which started reasonably, ends with the last two words at a screeching volume inside my head. _He could be trying to do hanky-panky with her! Ginny, you gotta go save her!_

She'll be fine, I think to my inner voice irritably. She knows enough self-defense - both magical- and physical-wise - to keep Draco away. Hopefully. Anyway, a little bit of hanky-panky'll do Hermione good. Maybe she'll loosen up a bit and not be so uptight about everything.

_Ron won't be so happy about that,_ the voice warns. _You know how he likes her and all. He might get, er, a bit violent._

Oh, shut it, I reply.

I consider what that distant part of my brain had argued. Nah. Ron will be OK with it, I'm pretty sure. I think he knows she doesn't like him that way by now. Alright, I admit it; she might have had feelings for my brother once, but definitely not anymore.

That'll be a crushing blow to his inflated ego, hehe.

"_Silverfang. _Ginny, duck," Harry's voice floats into my thoughts. I start and realize that we are already at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Before I can do anything, however, he grabs me around my waist and throws me, as gently as he can, through the hole and onto the velvety soft carpet of the common room floor. I giggle helplessly as I land in a heap on the ground and climb up. Good. No bruises. Not that I would have gotten hurt from a little fall like that.

"Wheeee!" Harry jumps through the hole, the painting shutting quickly behind him and smacking him on the butt. "Ow!" The hit throwing him off course, he lands a few feet away from me, face first. I can only guess what he was trying to do originally. Quickly I stand up and hurry over, lifting his head onto my lap to make sure he hadn't broken his nose in the crash. "I'm OK, I'm OK," he says into my skirt. I can feel the heat of his cheek on my leg.

"You sure? You don't look so good." That's an understatement. There's a bump the size of a gobstone on his scalp, and there are patterns squashed onto his face from his hand being under it when he landed. All in all - he doesn't look too good. "Maybe you should have an early night. What were you throwing me and leaping around for?"

He blushes as he stands groggily. "Sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" My shake of the head seems to make him feel better. "Good. I was going to... um... jump on you... since we didn't get a chance to do anything at the tower - but that didn't work very well, did it?" Harry looks abashed, like a guilty puppy.

I start to laugh. Harry's face goes even redder, which seems to make me laugh even harder. Soon I am rolling around on the floor, gasping for air and trying to stop myself giggling hysterically any more. The stitch in my side is starting to hurt. "Oh, Harry! I never knew you had it in you to think of something like that," I say, grinning. "You're so unpredictable. That's one of the things I love about you." I twine my arms around his neck, attempting not to snort with laughter into his face, and failing several times.

Harry looks happier and kisses me on the nose, despite my snorting. "Goodnight, Ginny," he says, before I give him a kiss on the lips. He blushes and bounds away, nearly tripping over the dormitory stairs and breaking his neck as he does so.

I shake my head fondly. Harry may be the Boy-Who-Lived AKA The Chosen One AKA Potty AKA 1000 other titles, but he's still as clumsy around me as any other boy around their girlfriend. Chuckling, I head up and into the fifth year girls' dorms, ready for a good night's sleep after that crazy, nerve-wrecking event.

The next morning I look around for Hermione. Hopefully she'd come back during the night/early morning and could join us for breakfast. But, no luck - 20 minutes of waiting later, there's still no sign of her, even though Lavender, Parvati and all the other girls in her dormitory had long gone out to the Great Hall.

"Damn," I mutter. That means my inner voice could very well be right. _Told ya so, _it said at that precise moment, in an irritatingly nasal voice. "Shut up," I reply loudly, and several first-years, who are poring over their books (much like Hermione), stare at me with unconcealed fear in their eyes.

At the Great Hall, I am surprised and very happy to see Hermione in her normal seat. "'Mione!" I screech, and give her a bear hug from behind. I can faintly hear Harry and Ron's sniggers through Hermione's choking noises.

"Gi-Ginny," she gasps, clawing at my arm. "Let go... I'm going to die from lack of oxygen! HELP!" Her face is rapidly turning a bluish white color.

"Oh, sorry! Are you alright?" I say apologetically and quickly let go. Immediately her face returns to its normal tint, albeit it being slightly paler than usual. Hacking and coughing, she gives me a shaky grin and shakes her head to indicate I'd been forgiven.

I take my seat next to her and pat Hermione a few times on the back. She is smacked forwards and her face lands in her plate of baked potatoes. "Shit!" I swear loudly, and earn disapproving glares from several Prefects, as well as most of the other students. A few hide grins, and the Slytherins are looking hopefully at the Prefects, as if willing them to deduct points from Gryffindor. "Sorry," I say in a small voice, and everyone returns to what they were doing.

When I turn around, Ron (typical) had already helped Hermione wipe the potato from her face. "Ginny! What was that for?" he asks hotly. "You could have broken her nose! That would have ruined her bea- er..." He turns slightly pink as I raise a mocking eyebrow at him.

"You were saying, Ron?" To Hermione, I quickly raise my wand to _Scourgify_ her face but she puts a hand on my arm to lower it.

"Uh, Ginny, don't worry. I can get all of it off with a tissue - I think. I'll pass by the bathroom after breakfast." Another shaky smile. This one I return and decide not to help/hinder her meal anymore.

After I finish drinking the cup of pumpkin juice beside my plate, I sneak a glance at my timetable. It is still hard for me to remember exactly what class comes when, even though it's been four months since I'd received my fifth year timetable. Oh well. I guess short-term memory runs in the family, I think as I catch Ron's eyes darting towards his own timetable under the table.

"Damn," I hiss. Hermione glances up at me, her face potato-free. "Potions!"

The word is pretty much self-explanatory. Harry, Ron and Hermione all shake their heads sadly in unison, looking amusingly like those nodding dolls that you put in cars. Dad had one of those in his car, until Bill got so pissed off at its constant nodding that he threw it out the window to the chickens, who pecked it viciously until it lay, battered, in the dirt. "Poor you," Harry says, putting an arm around me. I kiss him on the cheek and he turns crimson.

Ron makes a noise of protest in the background. Dean, who is still pining a bit after our breakup just before school started, turns his talking volume up a notch and is now practically yelling into Seamus' ear. The latter is moving slowly away from his friend, trying to cover his ears as discreetly as possible. Parvati looks a bit jealous of my openness with Harry - apparently she used to like him, after he'd asked her to the Yule Ball in until sometime early last year.

I smile to myself at the commotion that little peck on the cheek caused around us. I was a little bit sad about dumping Dean, but he was like Ron - talking about football all day, like my brother blabs on about the Chudley Cannons and Quidditch in general all the time. It was bad enough having a brother like that who lived with you; I didn't think I could survive a boyfriend of the same sort too. Dean was a nice guy, and pretty handsome (partly the reason why I chose him in the first place), but he just didn't really appeal to me in the long run.

"I guess I'd better run, or Snape'll have my head," I declare, standing up. Hermione nods at me, smiling, and Ron grunts. Harry jumps up and offers to walk me there. "I'm not a baby, Harry," I say teasingly. "I don't need to be followed everywhere. It's not like a mad axeman will jump out from behind every corner and dice me or something."

Unfortunately, the mental image of what I'd said seems to make Harry more determined than ever to accompany me. Oh well - I didn't really mind. The more time I spend with him, the better.

We chat idly as we walk towards the dungeon. It's amazing how comfortable I feel around Harry. I can talk about nearly everything and not feel too embarrassed. Minutes later, at the entry of the classroom, I stop and stand on tiptoe to give Harry a long, deep parting kiss.

"20 points from Gryffindor for showing an unnecessary amount of affection in public," a voice drawls icily from behind me. I jump and bite Harry's lip as we part in shock. He puts a hand to his mouth and winces slightly. I give him an apologetic look as I hurry into the class, waving goodbye. "Miss Weasley, don't let me catch you doing that in front of my class again," Snape says coldly as he follows behind me. "You may be the 'Golden Couple', but that doesn't give you the right to do such filth right in front of the classroom."

"Your fault you came at that moment," I mutter under my breath as I find my seat next to Georgina.

He stops. "What did you say, Miss Weasley?"

I look up, the picture of innocence. Well, maybe my big smile is pushing it, but oh well. "Er, nothing, Professor Snape! I was just remarking to Georgina how much I love Potions." Beside me, Georgina rolls her eyes but puts on a painful smile when I elbow her.

"Ye-yeah, that's what she was mumbling about," she says brightly. Snape hmphs and walks away to the front of the class. "Phew, thought he was going to take points off," Georgina says, sighing in relief. She turns to me, eyes accusing. "And what 'filth' were you doing in front of the door? Don't tell me you were getting it o-"

I clamp a hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" I hiss, turning a bit red. "He can hear us, you know. Well, he can hear you."

Georgina smirks. "So you were-"

"I was most certainly not!" I say indignantly. "It was just a little goodbye kiss. You know Snape, I don't think anyone's kissed him except his toad. He makes a big deal out of any public display of affection."

After that, there was no more time to chat. Snape immediately made us start with a pretty hard potion, reminding us that OWLS were this year and if we didn't do well enough, i.e. anything less than a E, we wouldn't be staying in his class. Not that we'd want to, but Potions is important in many big jobs, such as Aurors.

I work hard, but as usual my potion is a few shades off from what it's supposed to look like. The book shows a bubbling violet potion, but mine's more lilac than anything else. Snape lip curls upwards as he stops at my cauldron. "I suppose bad potion-making skills run in the family," he says, sneering at my putrid-smelling potion. Funny that. I was just thinking the same thing.

"I think so, too, sir," I answer sincerely.

His eyes flash dangerously. "Another 20 points for answering back," he hisses. "If you don't improve your behavior, you'll be responsible for Gryffindor losing the House Cup with negative figures in points, with the help of Potter. You'll be cleaning up the classroom after class, along with Davidson here." He jabs a finger at a boy with cropped black hair, who glares defiantly at me. I can clearly see why he was also made to clean up.

After everyone else had packed up, and a failed attempt by Georgina to help me tidy the room, the Davidson guy and I are left in the class while Snape checks some of his ingredients in the back storeroom. I resist the urge to lock him in; there would be no point anyway, since he probably knows a lot of unlocking spells and I don't know many locking spells.

Hmm. Isn't Davidson in Slytherin? A bright spark of an idea comes to me. "Sayyyy, er, Davidson," I begin cautiously.

"It's Elliot, bimbo," he snaps back straight away, glaring up at me from his task of scrubbing the floor.

I recoil with surprise and shock. Wow. Talk about fast responses. "Um, OK, Elliot then. Do you know Draco Malfoy?"

He rolls his eyes. "Is this some kind of trick question? Who doesn't know him?"

OK, this guy is really starting to grate my nerves. I grind my teeth and force out a smile. "Oh, really. He's that famous?"

Elliot gives me a disdainful look. "Du-u-uh. Do you live under a rock or something? He's practically a god in the Slytherin community. Girls worship him."

No surprise there. "Does he have a girlfriend - or a love interest, at the moment?" I probe as subtly as I can. Annoying as he is, Elliot is probably the best chance I have of getting information about Draco from a Slytherin. It would look suspicious if I just went up to a random Slytherin during lunch or something.

"Don't tell me you're interested in him," he groans. "That's like, the 100th time a girl's asked him out."

"I'm not asking him out!" I yell, then quickly lower my voice. "I was just asking if he has a girlfriend. God."

Elliot smirks, like a true Slytherin. "Alright, keep your panties on." At this remark I am ready to clobber him. A nuisance and a pervert. Not a good combination. "No, he doesn't seem to have a girl he hangs out with more than others, but he's been seen with this Gryffindor girl a couple of times. Plus he talks about some chick called Herry or Hermy or something sometimes, to that Blaise guy. You know, the bi one."

I think everyone knows about Blaise's sexual nature. But what I'm interested in is what he said about the Gryffindor girl. It's got to be Hermione, despite the bad eavesdropping skills of Elliot. Herry? What the hell? "Hermione? Is that her name? And is that girl brunette?"

"How would I know? Jeez. You're so nosy. Are you sure you're not some kind of stalker? Cos I don't think you stand a chance next to all those other pretty girls queuing up to date him." He wrinkles his nose as he shoves the mop into a dusty corner. I cough as he shakes the mop around, grinning. "Whoops. Sorry."

"Bastard," I mutter rather audibly, and he whistles.

"A foul-mouthed chick," he says, sounding delighted. "Just my type. I mean, if you squint your eyes and tilt your head this way..." he does so, and looks extremely retarded - "... you actually look passably pretty."

I smile sweetly at him, ignoring his jab at my looks as I clean up the last desk and put my soiled rag onto Snape's reports, making sure that it is wet and grimy. Enough boys have asked me out for me to know that the statement contained hardly any truth at all. "Sorry, I'm taken. Ever heard of Harry Potter?"

He stares at me, mouth wide open. His mop trails on his shoe, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Well, he's my boyfriend." Opening the door, I give him one last glance before leaving. "So personally, I don't think you stand a chance next to him."

That night, exhausted by the day's classes, I collapse onto an armchair in front of the fireplace. The common room is fairly quiet, with most of the students doing their homework - there's been a big increase in the amount of fifth year people reading or finishing off essays now, since it's the year for OWLs. I still have a few assignments to do, but they aren't due anytime soon, so I don't think about them too much.

An hour later, I am woken by someone gently shaking my shoulder. "Ginny, get up," Hermione cajoles, and when I do, she steals my seat and sighs in comfort.

I fold my arms crossly until I remember what Elliot had told me. I snap my fingers. "Hermione, get up and follow me," I say. "I want to have a girl talk with you."

Hermione raises an eyebrow but does as I ask.

Once we are in the privacy of my dormitory, I motion for her to sit. "Hermione, I want to ask you something."

"Shoot," she says, shrugging and peering suspiciously at me. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh no, nothing's wrong. Hermione, are you in love with Draco Malfoy?"

Her reaction is as expected. Her mouth falls open and she falls off the bed with a thump before springing up quickly again, smoothing her hair down. She gapes at me for a few seconds, like a fish out of water, before finally finding her voice: "Wh-wha-what made y-you think th-that, G-Ginny?"

I smirk. "Do you? A reliable (cough) source told me that you've been seen with him on several occasions, and apparently he likes you. Or that's what he told Blaise, anyway. And you know how Blaise is not exactly the best secret-keeper in the world, so Draco must really like you to tell him that."

"I... I don't know," she says after a long pause. "I can't say that I still hate him, like before - that'd be a lie. But I don't know if I love him..."

"You like him."

She blushes. "I-I guess you could say that. But not so directly, Ginny! Learn to be more subtle, will you?"

I sigh. "What's the point of being subtle with this subject? I now know how you feel about Malfoy. Ron won't be happy, but that's life. So what's next? Are you just going to conceal your liking for Draco forever, turning him down out of embarrassment when he asks you out?"

"If he asks me out," she corrects me. "I have a feeling that even if we get together, it won't last. Our personalities are most definitely going to clash. Plus, he's not exactly the commitment type of guy. It's like he has commitment-phobia or something."

"Not really," I say, secretly glad that Hermione is thinking about the future with him already. This means she really does like him a lot, no matter what insults she blabbers about him. "He went out with that girl... Ana, for about six months. That's a pretty long time for Mr Commitment-Phobic."

She wriggles uncomfortably. "Well..."

I pat her arm. "Think about it, Hermione. You know how you really feel. I'm not forcing you or anything, but you should give Malfoy a chance. Harry and Ron hate him, but it's something they'll have to accept, if you feel strongly enough for him." I grin. "I know that sounds like one of those muggle romance novels or something, but it's the truth."

Hermione stands, sighing. "I'll think about it." Walking to the door, she spins around and gives me a glare. "This doesn't mean that I'm in love with him, you know."

Chuckling, I watch her leave and lie back on the bed. Ah, this is going to be very interesting.

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Here comes the long list of thank-yous...!

(Replies are for people who reviewed after I posted chapter 29.)

quidditchgirl13: Thanks. :D

Moonlightshadows: No, I don't mind if you borrow the rules (after all, I got them off another site). Go ahead at use 'em.

Boonzie: Yes, Pomfrey is getting rather odd, isn't she... XD

Antanaqui: O.o Whoops, didn't realize that, lol. Well, I would have put 'boyish-looking boy', but since Zack is a boy anyway, it wouldn't be much of a description. Thanks for the review! And I totally agree with what you said about Ron, he's so damn re- er, hopeless, yes, hopeless.

blueskyshymoon08: Yeah, at least Tom's on our side. Maybe he can persuade the rest of them, too. :O

FlairVerona: Oh, don't worry, you'll get your wish soon enough. I mean, it's been 30 chapters already... hehehe.

BeautifulMisconception: Thank you for your support. Yup, JK will always have a legion of D/Hr fans behind her, waiting to pounce on any DracoxHermione scenes.

roleena kashka: It makes me feel good when my reviewers babble. :D I know what you mean, I didn't go as far as shut the book anywhere, but I shed more than a few tears when Sirius died. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment!

OrgnlAmagic: Thanks. I always thought Strip Poker would be harder and more complicated than that, too. Guess we were both wrong. :P

Venus725: Hey, no fair, you can't just hog Tom all to yourself! XD

the girl trapped in a dream: Thank you! Yup, yay for Tom being a fellow D/Hr fan!

AJ01: Hello! Trust me, if I make my chapters any longer, you'd probably have to wait another week in between updates. So you have a choice: longer chapters, updates once 3 weeks to a month; or updates every week or fortnightly, with shorter chapters:D

elle6778: Glad you liked how it turned out. Thanks!

degrassichick: Phew, I was lucky that none of my family were really that interested in reading the book (my mom encouraged me to collect the whole series, but apart from that she doesn't know anything about it). Hehe!

NicoleFelton: Thank you!

pat-nosferatu: Lol, thanks!

The Gryffindor Drummer: Hehe, thank you.

Goodybad: Well, now we all know for a fact that, as one of my other reviewers also told me, JK Rowling should never be a romance novelist. Her reputation would go kaBOOM! She should stick to action/adventure. I loved all the events in the previous books, but somehow this 6th one didn't seem quite so action-packed as norm. O.o

Isabel: I'm not much of a romanticism writer but don't worry, the real relationship is coming very soon. I promise.

bean-e-babie: Yup, there sure are a lot of D/Hr shippers out there. :D

Ilujna: Oh yeah, Hermione was knocked out during the fight with the Death Eaters in book 5. Forgot that. Well, IMHO Harry and Draco made it quite clear that the invisible thing was a thestral, so hopefully it was enough for her to know what it was...

me: Lol, nice name. XD Thank you!

livie1313: Alright, there's the next chapter for ya. :D

natyslacks: Oooh, haha! I never realized! What a coincidence that I picked your name. XD Does the name Natalie have anything to do with your penname? Cos now that I look at it... 'naty'slacks... hmmmm...? And I'm sure Draco has a nice rear. Maybe Hermione will find out, hehe. -Cackles with you- Actually, on second thoughts, she probably already has...

preciousonee: Yeah, I think that journal entry is getting quite famous. :D

AttackingHentaiChibisLoveFluff: Thanks, dude/tte. XD

Captain-Ammie: Thank you!

Sayaku-chan: Wouldn't it be scary if Tom Felton actually reads fanfiction? O.o

Midnights.Angelic.Reality: Lol, that definitely makes him cooler than he already is. And don't worry... I updated. :D

chadick: Yeah, Hermione/Draco would be more interesting to write about. I mean, Hermy and Ron are already best friends, their relationship won't be much different to Ginny and Harry's. Wahh. -Pouts-

diabolicalone18: Thank you for putting me on your alert list. :)

570l3Nxh23r7: Lucky! Now that I've written about it, I want to play Strip Poker, lol. Was it fun?

jamie: You'd be surprised how many reviews I've gotten already about it being the 'Sorcerer's Stone', and how many comments I've made back to those people. I'll say the same thing to you. Thanks for taking the time to point it out, but apparently JK meant for it to be called the Philosopher's Stone, and the name was changed in the US. I don't know, but on my copy of HP it clearly says 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone', in big, bold letters.

MegTao: Thanks! I'm glad you were glad I updated. XD

anusha: Aw, thanks, I'm flattered. -Preens- :)

hanna: I really enjoyed reading your review! It's people like you who make me want to keep writing... -Teary sniff- I won't ruin the latest book for you if you haven't read it, but let me just tell you that it's not a big step for us D/Hr shippers. :( Don't try to think hard for ideas, usually inspiration comes to you (and me) at the least expected moments (for me, usually before I go to bed, which was the case for this particular fic). Good luck with your writing!

EquestrianBabe: Thanks for the compliment! -Hugs- If you're still looking for good fanfics, you should probably look on well-known HP writers' favorites lists. They usually have loads.

xOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: Hello again:D Thanks for yet another review. -Glomps-

kayla: Glad you thought so. Thank you!

Artemis: Thanks. :)

True Slytherin Witch: Hehe, I'd hoped you'd like the Strip Poker part. Thanks for the review!

sexyslytherin27: Thanks. Thomas Andrew Felton? I never knew that was his full name. :O I think I watched a few episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air a few years back, but I can't remember anything about it except Will Smith or someone was the main guy. Care to tell me why that show has anything to do with your fic?

Amin Vanima Mellonea: Thanks for your detailed review! Yeah, I reckon Tom should read some fanfiction (though he'll be amazed at the things authors put Draco through... XD). Lol, wouldn't it be funny if we D/Hr fans did make an underground community? That would be hilarious! It would be like some kind of Harry Potter mafia gang or something. O.o

Black rainfall: Join the club! We're all D/Hr fans here. :3

Izumi Rules: Yeah, it wouldn't really fit if Hermione became evil. o.O

youngwriter56: Lol! Thanks!

Chocolate Concrete: It's about time she kissed him instead of him kissing her all the time. X3 Thank you!

xXWitchXx: Hope you enjoyed both the chapter and the link. :D

Michelle Felton: There's the link for you. :) Have fun reading.

MugglebornWitchy: LOL! Yours has been the most amusing review I've gotten in a while. I didn't know my story was that funny... O.o

ISpikedThePunch: Haha, eccentric? That's a new word! Haven't heard that one being said of my story before. Glad you liked it:D

Arita Oak: Draco turned bad, but after that Dumbledore scene it's unlikely he'll stay on the Dark side. Well, I hope, anyway!

ILoveMyDraco: I can't remember either... Thank you for reviewing, though. :)

JamPotter12: Lol, thank you.

Whisper's Song: Hiya! Hehe, meh happy that you liked it.

Forever Evil: Lol, it's very weird, isn't it? Yay! I'm glad you like the (-Drum roll-) 10WtKDM!Draco. -Feels proud-

American Deer Hunter 73: Er, I'm sorry if I offended you or anything, but what exactly are you calling crap? I don't know what you're referring to - the fact that they were making out, or the fact that Hermione's plans never succeed? They have actually worked before, if you read back. Personally, though, do you really want to see Draco's guts splattered all over the ground? Thank you for the reviews, btw.

TigerLilly1889: Haha, was it that surprising? XD

sarklover826: Thank you!

weasleytwinsrock41: No, it didn't work at all... O.o Thanks for the comment!

warpaint13: Thanks. :)

Maddy-Black: 'Smuttily entertaining'? XD That's a new one! Thanks for stopping by.

pluto: Thank you. :D

Terry Moon: Lol! Too bad though, I kinda hoped that Hermione and Draco be a bit more canon at least (i.e. her and Ron not getting together), but oh well. It was pretty obvious that it was coming. D: Thanks for the comment.

TheLovelyLily: OK, I will keep it up!

Zekintha: I wonder if Tom Felton's even read all of the books. I'm sure he just likes Emma and also likes their strange relationship in the movie. :D

Paranoid Sarcasm: Haha! You read slow. -Points and laughs- -Is shot- And poor computer. -Pulls stick out of bum- I hate it when my computer just restarts by itself. Nearly as annoying as your computer, especially when I'm in the middle of something.

spicygreensalad: Yup, they do look good together (or it's our HG/DM biased minds telling us that). It would be cool if they went out together, but personally I'd be kind of scared if fans started pressuring me to go out with a co-actor, lol.

homestar-fan: No, pushing him off didn't work at all...

fille-chica143: Corny? Oh, whoops. Didn't mean for any of this fic to be. :P But it's hard to write romance without a bit of corniness... O.o Thanks for the review!

foxeran: Thank you! I tried to make the recap as short as possible, but you have to know what happened. Otherwise it would be like a big gap in the storyline.

kitty-lover66: I'm happy you enjoyed that scene. :D I liked writing it, too. Hehe!

GoldenTwilight1: I thought Emma and Tom had something going on, but in his blog he denies it. But he does admit she's really pretty and nice. -Cackles evilly as well-

Aurora Slytherin: Oh well, that's still over 100 points. :D Thank you!

dookie xp: I did my best to keep them in character... but too bad. I'm just not good at that. D:

fanatic: You're right. I totally forgot about the _Reparo_ spell...

Remusluver: Thanks!

Light-On-In-Chicago: Lol, now I know what I can kill you with! -Evil laugh- But I updated, so there. :P

Hermione490: You could just add me to your Story/Author alerts if you want an email alert of updates. :) My list of stories can be viewed at my FFnet front page. Just click on my name. Thanks for the review!

lilithofunderworld: Thank you. I also can't believe she killed off -beeeeeeep-! How could she do that? -Beeeeeeeep- was so cool! ;..; -Teary eyed-

Kewlpoohgirl: Lol, thank you! -Agrees with you- Well, in the movie Tom looks better. :P Apparently they had to airbrush their acne out, hehe.

Hawaiian-Rachael: Yeah, Pomfrey is getting a bit senile, I think. XD Thank you!

crazy azn angel: Hehe! Why do you hate Emma? She's not that bad. O.o Thanks for the review!

sonya: Lol, thank you.

Strong Tower: OK! Thanks.

Stubs4him08: Thank you for the compliment! -Blush-

Megan: Haha! You should have gone to bed 2 hours ago! XD Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read all of my fic, I really appreciate it. -Hugs-

Also thanks to:

Midnight's.Angelic.Reality, iluvdustinbarnell, Rainan Strife, diabolicalone18, Captain-Ammie, Izumi Rules, cenagurl, speechdisappearsintosilence, Kylz, TheScarlettSecret, youngwriter56, . . .TeMpTaTiOnZ. . ., Kelz, Gallaz, Black rainfall, BA de Danone, Onigiri Momoko, theseahorse, Blue Dragon Skies, angeldust893, smile13a, Neth, Christi-McIntyre, Turtle Sister, The Lady of the Four Leafed Clover, Taffy-Isabelle-TaffCunns, Miss Hermione Jane Granger, RAIN3Y, limegreenbeanbag, ITSaBROWNthing92, snowmouse, Rachel, DarkAngelTorchic, Deana, ClassiestMokuren, Norah, Ewanaddict, Animagious-White-Tiger, KitArchivist, thebrinkofdisaster, I Dream of Draco, WannaBArtist, Karriya, rani singala, bangbangxx, plooshgirl, VampireMasquerade, potc-and-hpfan, CaptainDuckula, jesska-14, skinnyrita, koalainglasses, Madam Whitbrook, seamusismyprince, Deadly Storm, cierra, lovebunny91, meeka, cherry arrow, moony's number 1, angledust-893, Gi Xian, ducks-rule-world, Jess, PranksterPrefect, lilacblu, The Notorious Wookie, harry potter hermione granger, theBomb, anya, Morbidly Ori, Signature F, Jen, darkjaguargoddess, drunkonlife, Karana Belle, QiRa, tearfulrose, iheartdraco4lyf, madameclover, RitaL.Black, eLiZaBeThBeAr, P.A.W.07, -Lily Evans 4 life-, EvilsmileyfaceofDOOM, wata rat, AX2, monkeybitmytail, MisticElf, chadick, Wolfsblood, Deadly Hope, CrazyChick15, lilchica, princess-yumin, SleepyHead22, Smile88, cyancrystaldolphins, yuna-ynnah, magicalworldwithyou, Drunk Cat, FallingWithGhosts, Brittany Malfoy, w1nd3y, SweetiePye2332, Crystallized Snow, Kioana, sami, Bull, Irena(plus)Sooie, wockygal, FireGuardian, ezza, Kiwi-San, waterprincess, tomfelton'sbabe429, Lady-Crymsyn, cornelia1715, xputteck, DiguisedInnocence, powerelite, Bookworm1214, ChRoXus NicLypes

-Faints from overtyping- Well, I'm really happy about this very long list! Thank you to everyone! I think next time I do a thanks part, I'll only reply to people whose reviews ask something that needs to be answered. Otherwise the scrollbar will be microscopic...


	31. Chapter 31: Hermione

Everyone, PLEASE READ THE FOOTNOTES after you finish this chapter! It's important! (Well, to me anyway.) And that scene I've been planning is in this chapter. :D Enjoy! This chappie is a little more serious that usual, so there will be more drama than humor, I think.

Hahaha! I was very surprised to find that several people liked Elliot Davidson from the last chapter, and a few even suggested a Elliot/Ginny pairing! Lol. This is the first time I've introduced an OC in this story, and it's the first time anyone's liked the OC enough to want to pair him up with a canon character.

BTW, I know Draco has grey eyes, but since I started him with blue ones I'll keep them. Hope it doesn't bother you too much! And thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed - I can't express my gratitude! -Teary eyes- I would reply to a few reviews but since FFnet doesn't let you reply directly to reviewers anymore (I think, a friend told me and I don't want to risk it), I'd better not... -Glances at previous chapter nervously-

& la lee loooooo...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 31

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HERMIONE

Oh man. Ginny knows. That girl is just too clever for her own good. She may not be the most academically smart person in Hogwarts, but when it comes to human nature, especially the sort between boys and girls, Ginny sees all. I don't think Malfoy and I were exactly subtle, but no-one else picked anything up except her.

Gah.

When I exit the fifth year Gryffindor girls' dorms, I find most of the common room empty. Ron is sitting in an armchair near the fire, his face turned away from me. I bound over and give him a friendly whack with my History of Magic textbook. "Hey, Ron. Why the long face?"

He nearly jumps a foot off the armchair. "He-Hermione! When did you get here?" he says, looking flustered. "I didn't even hear you!"

"Yeah, the fire was so interesting that you didn't even notice one of your best friends approach. Jeesh. You're such a good mate."

Ron grins. "Uh... haha. Ha. Hehe. Hee."

I stare at him for a moment as I put down my book on the nearest table. "Er, Ron, are you feeling OK? Sure that fire didn't fry your brains? 'Cos you sound a bit... retarded, if you don't mind me saying so."

"Retarded? Is that any way to describe your... friend?" he huffs.

I notice the lag between 'your' and 'friend'. "Is something wrong? You know, if you have a problem, you can talk to me or Harry. That's what best friends are for, we're not just accessories."

Ron sighs and massages his temples. Finally, he stares hard at me. "Hermione..."

"Yeah?"

"I... I... Oh, bloody hell! Give me a moment, 'Mione." He breathes in and out a few times before looking up at me again. I'm still standing, though I'm not sure why. I guess I'm just eager to hear what he wants to say, although a dreary part of my brain already knows what is going to come out of his mouth. "Hermione, I - love you." This last part is said quite loudly.

There is silence in the common room. Then a few older students whistle. Ron turns bright red, making his head resemble a large, oval tomato. I stare at him for a long time. After a few minutes, when everyone else has given us huge winks and have left the room, Ron breaks the silence. "Hermione. Say something! Anything! This is killing me as much as it's shocking you, you know."

I tremble slightly as I sit down. All those times we squabbled over silly things and those odd, undecipherable looks he's ever given me, come flooding back into my memories. I admit, I did like him a little bit. But just a teeny bit, back in 2nd year. He was always my friend, and stood by my side. I can't imagine life without him, yet spending the rest of my life with him, as more than his friend, doesn't seem too appealing. Not in that way, at least.

Ron was always my favorite debating/arguing partner. We would bicker over everything and anything, and most of the time it was only petty things. I enjoyed it, and though he was irritating when he disagreed with me, it was still fun to see him losing himself to my logic. And now...

"Ron..." I can't look at him. It's too painful. "I-I'm sorry, but I'm in- I like someone else."

He doesn't look particularly surprised, and though he hid his hurt expression well, I can still see it under the smile he wore. "Draco Malfoy, am I right? Hermione... I'm amazed you'd like him, but I wish you happiness." A tear seeps out from the corner of his eye, and he hurriedly wipes it up. "God, I'm such a sissy. Can't believe I'm actually crying. Fuck."

Taken aback, I stand up. Ron hardly ever says fuck, only when he's very distressed. I'm sad about rejecting him, but it just doesn't feel right to be anything more than friends with him. Hugging him would be pushing it, kissing him? Definitely not. It seems as unnatural as it feels natural when I do that with Draco...

Oh boy. I'm so falling for him. Why me? Why him, of all people? He's my enemy, and Harry and Ron's enemy. Draco's been hostile towards us since day one, yet I could never bring myself to hate him as much as Harry seemed to. Even the slap in third year was because I was tired and traumatized, and Draco's stab at Hagrid had been the last straw. But it didn't mean I hated him.

"Ron..." I say softly, unsure of what to do. I feel tears springing to my own eyes, but quickly blink them back. I feel awful. My stomach is queasy and it is as if I'm not going to be able to hold on to my dinner. "Sorry, I have to-" I stumble blindly past him and rush into the toilets. I lock myself into a cubicle and throw up everything I had eaten that afternoon. My eyes water and bile stings my throat, the bitter taste making me throw up more until there is nothing left.

A week or so later, with the tension between Ron and I slightly less tight, I sip my cup of coffee while sitting on one of the armchairs near the fireplace and flip through the same History of Magic book I had meant to read when Ron confessed to me. My hands don't shake anymore when I flip it, and I am secretly glad I didn't throw the book into the fire, something I had first considered after that night. The clock opposite the fireplace announces, in a squeaky, mouselike voice, that it is 8pm.

As if it was a cue, I shut my book with a 'snap' and stuff it into my bag. Then, I run up the stairs and leave my bag in my trunk next to the four-poster bed I sleep in. Satisfied that everything is tidy enough, I make towards the exit of the Gryffindor common room.

"Sometimes, I really hate Prefect duties," I mutter under my breath. "They take so much away from my study time. Which is next to none as it is." Climbing nimbly out of the portrait hole, and hearing the 'thuk' of the painting of the Fat Lady swinging shut behind me, I look around and start to walk to Professor McGonagall's office. Suddenly, I freeze and turn my head very slowly to the left. Was it me, or did I just see someone standing there?

A very familiar-looking blonde head, one that I haven't seen except during class for a week, lifts up and icy blue eyes stare into my own. I rub my eyes quickly to make sure I'm not seeing things. When I look again, Draco's still there, and now advancing towards me.

"Hermione." I shiver slightly. That one word had a lot of force behind it - not the pushy kind of force, but something else... something I can't really explain.

"Yes? What do you want? Don't tell me you were going to ambush me."

He chuckles. "I'm above that kind of thing. You know that. Anyway... the thing is..." he pauses, and clears his throat. "Go out with me, Hermione."

My brain stops at this point, and tries furiously to decipher his last words. Unfortunately, my heartbeat had been pounding so loudly in my ears that what my mind produces is a gurgled, 'gootwimiiiime'. "Er... come again?"

Draco scowls impatiently. "God, woman! Are you doing this on purpose? I said, go out with me!"

I nearly faint in shock. Draco Malfoy, Slytherin sex God, want to go out with me? But then again, after all those 'encounters', I find myself not too surprised. After all, we've been doing just as much snogging as the average Hogwarts school couple, even though we're supposed to be enemies. "Um... I'll have to-"

"Teeeheeehee!" Someone giggles and there is the sound of shoes scraping against the ground. I spin around but didn't catch anything but the train of someone's black robes.

"Fuck," he mutters. "Someone saw - and heard - us."

Sighing, I lean against the wall. "I have a funny feeling it's someone like Lavender or Parvati. They're talented at nosing around and 'accidentally' running into random couples, or to-be couples." I blush a bit at the prospect of the two of us being one of these couples, and then scold myself almost immediately. I don't even know if he is serious, or if he is kidding around. "Anyway..."

Draco interrupts me. "I know what you're going to ask. Am I for real, or am I playing you?" He shakes his head. "I'm serious, Hermione. The thing is, I've been thinking these past days. And I'm a bit tired of the fact that, even though we make out probably more than Potter and Weaslette, we're still not official. We're rivals, enemies, whatever we were before, but now..." he makes a face. "I really, honestly think I lo- like you. A lot."

My face immediately turns a vivid shade of fire engine red. "U-uh..." I stutter. "You- I mean, I guess you're right. At least, about the kissing thing. Harry and Ginny hardly ever snog, or at least to my knowledge, and they've been going out for a while now, hahaha. Well, they don't do it like some people, us included..." I trail off lamely, avoiding his eyes.

"You're babbling," he says simply.

"Eh... well, I tend to do that when I'm nervous..." I smile weakly, still unable to quite believe what had just happened. "And being asked out is one of those times."

Draco smirks. "You know, if you were a little more confident, you could have a trail of boys behind you. I'm sure of it. But... now, I won't let there be a trail." He touches my cheek gently. "Because, you know and I know, we both want each other. Am I right?"

I snort, but denying it would be lying. "Ye- no. No, no no no!" I groan and clutch my head. "Oh God, what am I saying? Who wouldn't want you? But I just don't want to cause a commotion. You know as well as I do that if I say yes, your fangirls will be all over me, tearing my hair out. And I want to keep my hair, thank you very much."

"I don't care what they think." He leans in and gives me a light kiss on the lips.

"Well, you won't be the one getting torn apart," I hiss, not pulling away. The thing is, once we're officially a couple, there wouldn't be any need for excuses every time I'm seen with him (and not trying to murder him for whatever evil deed he's done). That's one of the ideas that attract me the most to saying yes. "And stop trying to convince me physically. I still have to decide."

He grins. "Damn, you saw through my plan." With a final peck on my forehead, he steps back and puts his hands into his pockets. "Well, whatever your answer, tell me tomorrow morning. And you better make it good."

"You're practically ordering me to agree to go out with you," I grumble. "That's called peer pressure. You don't pressure girls into going out with you, you know. It doesn't matter how easy all those other girls have been, but I'm not caving in that easily."

A smirk flits across his features. "Oh, I'm sure you won't dampen my mood tomorrow," he says, smiling. "You like me too much."

I glare at him. "Pffft. Keep dreaming, ferret-boy." Draco laughs and walks off, waving goodbye without turning back. I roll my eyes at his back and go the other way to the Transfiguration classroom. Somehow, though, I think he's right. I doubt I'd turn him down. But there is Ron, and Harry's reaction to think about... especially Ron. I feel a mood of foreboding just thinking about it.

Ginny already practically knows, so she won't be a problem. That's one person on my side already, at least. Sighing, I enter the classroom, prepared to be lectured long and hard about punctuality. I was not disappointed.

Throughout the whole patrol, Ron and I keep a safe distance, and the little conversation between us is forced and polite. Draco's words run through my mind non-stop, and as much as I would have liked to bang my head against the nearest wall to shut my brain up, I am afraid of getting a concussion and thus delaying my answer to him. Ron keeps giving me odd glances. Maybe it's because of the fact that I am running towards every solid wall and then, a few metres from it, stopping suddenly and wheeling around.

After duties, I say goodbye to Ron. The 'goodnight, 'Mione' he gives me is clipped and the smile on his face seems unnatural. I have to shout out when he collides into the side of the staircase while attempting to walk up the stairs, and Harry comes out of the boys' dormitories, looking sleepy. When he sees Ron lying in a heap on the ground, and me trying to help him up, he quickly casts _Enervate_ and helps him upstairs carefully. "How was it?" Harry asks me quietly.

"It was... forced," I manage to say after a pause. "We both had things on our minds."

He smiles tightly. "Yours had Malfoy in it, right? Did he say anything to you?" Ron groans in pain and Harry moves up a few steps, all the while staring at me.

When did Harry get so perceptive? Ginny must be rubbing off on him. "Um..." I look around uncomfortably. "Not now. I'll tell you tomorrow, OK?"

He shrugs, smiles at me and enters the dormitory. I do the same after a while of staring at the entranceway where Ron and Harry had just entered. I'm definitely not going to have a night of sound sleep tonight, with my head going through all those things that happened today.

The next morning, I wake with a groggy head and bleary eyes. Walking over to the bathroom in the girls' dormitory, which, thankfully, isn't occupied by one of the others girls who would inevitably spend half an hour in there just to put on makeup, I wash my face quickly and brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. The same old brown hair, brown eyes and slightly pretty, but more on the average side, face. Booooring. I can't see why Draco would want me to be his girlfriend. I'm nothing like those pretty, model-like girls he dates.

Well... I know he's not lying about all of this. He seemed completely truthful when he confronted me, and I know that for something like this, Draco's not the type to say that much to me just for a dare or something stupid like that. Blushing furiously again, I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head to clear it.

When I reach the Great Hall, the people nearest to me fall silent and the silence spreads to the rest of the students in the hall. Bewildered, I find my friends and notice that Ron's face is deathly pale. Harry and Ginny cast worried glances at him and then at me.

_"Look... there she is, Hermione Granger..."_

_"I hear Draco Malfoy asked her out? Are you kidding me?"_

_"... she's really smart, but not exactly a glamour girl, is she?"_

_"Ha. Not an eyesore, but seriously, out of all the girls Draco could have picked... including me... -Sniffle-"_

_"Still..."_

_"... I totally know what you mean... but she's nice, apparently. And she's really smart - top witch of the school."_

_"... when your looks won't get you anywhere, I guess you gotta rely on charm and brains."_

Oh. No wonder Ron's face looked like a dead fish. I turn to him nervously, throwing dirty looks at the end of the table where Lavender and Parvati sit, grinning at me and waving. So it was them who saw Draco and I, and spread the news. Well, I have to admit, it's probably one of the most interesting rumors this year - though this one isn't really just a rumor.

After I take a few nibble of my food, I finally can't take the tension anymore. "Look, Ron. I'm sorry, but you'll have to stop this."

"Stop what?" he asks innocently, his face still the color of white paper.

"All this forcedness and unnatural behavior. I apologize for not returning your feelings, but-"

Ron bangs the table. People around us stare at him, looking scared. Several move away until there is a clear ring of space around Ron, me, Harry and Ginny. "Oh, so you rejected me just to go out with that ferret bastard? Why? I never knew you were like that, Hermione! Draco Malfoy is our enemy. He's not someone you should be going out with!"

I glare at him, my temper rising. "Well, sorry mother, for not letting your control every aspect of my love life! Why shouldn't I date him? It's not like he's a Giant Squid or something. He's a human being, just like you and me! So tell me, why is he off-limits? Oh sure, he's not our best friend, and I know he's done some horrible things to us, but he's still got a heart, down there - I mean, in his chest cavity somewhere!"

Ginny giggles at the 'down there' remark, and I flush, poking my tongue out at her. Harry flashes me an encouraging grin. I smile back. Ron makes a strangling noise, then 'hmph's and starts fidgeting, openly trying to ignore me. I shake my head, still fuming.

After I decide not to eat anymore - not that I had eaten much - I start to leave the Great Hall. I glance around for signs of Draco, but can't see him amongst the crowd of people milling around, all trying to get to their first class. Harry and Ron are walking with me, the latter looking reluctant and pissed off. I do my best to ignore him.

"Hermione." Someone taps my shoulder and I whirl around. Draco's face is a mere inch from mine and his trademark smirk is on his face, full force. I squeak and jump backwards. Harry glares at Draco, who glares back, and Ron just glances at him without any feeling. Strange. I would have thought he'd make the biggest fuss about it. "So, have you thought out your answer yet?"

I pull him to the side. "Did you hear those whispers this morning?" I mutter. "God, I am so going to kill Lavender and Parvati!"

"Oh, so it was them," he says, keeping his voice low. "Well, no matter. Everyone would have found out sooner or later."

"But the thing is, now that they all think we're going out, we can't do anything but reinforce that rumor!" I wring my hands agitatedly, though a part of me is cheering at the prospect of doing what I just said. "Man..."

Draco frowns. "You do want to... I mean, you're gonna say yes, right?" There is a thread of worry in his voice.

I smile at him, then glare back at Ron. "Of course I'll go out with you, Draco," I say, loud enough for Harry and Ron to hear. When I turn again, Ron's face is deathly white again, and Harry hardly seems surprised. He only raises an eyebrow at my tactlessness, but seems to understand my anger. He motions towards the hall, signalling that he is going to go ahead to get to Charms first, and Draco and I are left alone.

"Was that just for show, to piss Weasel off, or was it your real answer?" Draco's face is serious. He seems a bit angry that I had appeared to use him just to make Ron jealous, but of course, that wasn't it.

I cup his face with my hands and pull his head down a little for a peck on the lips. When we part, I pat his cheek tenderly. "It was my real answer. That you can be sure of."

He grins, all anger gone, and I am a bit amazed at my own boldness. But before I can do anything, his mouth is on mine and he is kissing me furiously, tongue seeking entry to play tongue tennis with mine.

Oh hell. Might as well cooperate with him, since it's guaranteed that we'll be doing a lot more of that soon.

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Why is there no plan in this chapter? You'll see soon enough... and I think this story is going to be longer than I expected. O.o Eeek! Hope you don't get bored, things are going to get interesting from here on. Maybe this chapter was a bit sudden, but oh well.

OK, now here's the deal: did you like Elliot or not? Would you like him to make another appearance later on in the story? It's all up to you, folks, so leave your opinion in a review. :D


	32. Chapter 32: Draco

Sorry for not updating earlier! X.x I had science fair (basically a big science project involving me doing experiments and doing research), plus some Graphics homework (designing a TV cabinet). Of course, there's still another project to finish. -Sighs- Sometimes I hate being in the top class at school... and no, I'm not that smart. -.- Well, not in my own opinion, anyway.

Thank you to all 118 reviewers (wow) that reviewed my previous chapter. I was so happy when I broke the 100 mark for one chapter! Let's see if you guys can help me get past it again this time. :P Again, thank you SO much! -Hugs and glomps each reviewer individually- XD

& here is the next chapter (after a long break)...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 32

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DRACO

So. She's finally mine.

It took a while, but Hermione Granger, school know-it-all with a personality to match, is my girlfriend. Oh yes, she took her sweet time, but now we don't need an excuse everytime we're seen together. And that look on Weasley's face was priceless - though I won't mock his expression any more than that, because we aren't really deadly enemies anymore.

But I do wish I had a camera with me. The only time that having Colin Creevey nearby would have proved useful, rather than just annoying.

"Um... Draco? Why the happy grin?" Blaise's voice says cautiously.

I look at him, smiling soppily. "I have a new girlfriend."

He rolls his eyes, combing a hand through his black hair. "That's nothing new, though I've never quite seen you like this over a new girl before. Who is it?"

"Surprise," I say, mockingly clapping my hands together like a baby. Blaise rolls his eyes again. Is it possible for someone's eyes to fall out from too much rolling? Because if it is, I'm pretty sure it'll happen to him soon.

"Out with it," he barks. "Whoever it is, it can't be that much of a shock to me. So spit it out already."

Glaring at him, I sigh resignedly. "Alright, alright. I'm amazed you haven't heard the rumors yet. Hermione Granger and I and now officially an item." I grin at the look on his face. "Told ya so."

"WHAT?"

"I said, Her-"

Blaise shakes my shoulder with a force enough to knock Hagrid out. My teeth chatter as I am pushed and pulled back and forth repeatedly. "NO! Why her, of all people? That's even worse than if you were gay with me! She's a Gryffindor, for God's sake, and plus she's not even hot (well, she kinda is, but that's besides the point)! What's wrong with you, Draco? Has she cast a love spell on you or something? You're not usually this dense about women. I mean, even Pansy's better than Granger, and Pansy's the slut of the century."

My eyes narrow until they are mere slits. "Are you insulting my girlfriend? And let me correct you on one thing - going out with Hermione is definitely not worse than being gay with you. Because, sorry to say, I'm one hundred percent straight. At least, I hope so anyway." I pull back sharply from his grasp, rubbing my shoulders and wincing. "You didn't need to grab my shoulder that hard. Ow... I think you dislocated a couple of joints..."

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. "But still...!"

I press a hand on his head. "Say no more, Blaise. I know you're just gonna oppose this full force, so there's no point listening to you blabbering on about how Granger might infiltrate my brain with Gryffindor cooties. I would have gotten them already from all that contact with Potter and Weasley, anyway. So... thanks for trying to protect me from cooties, but I lo-gleeegh her and that's final."

Blaise sighs dejectedly. "Dammit. I was hoping for a chance that you might be into guys, after rejecting Pansy for so long - after all, she does have a great body and a pretty face, and boys tend to cling to her like iron filings to a magnet... but oh well. STILL...! Granger, of all the hot little Gryffindor beauties you could have had... what a waste! Honestly, Draco. You shoulda picked that chick, Parvati or something. She's tons better than Hermione."

"Are you still trying to change my mind?" I ask, not really listening to what he's mumbling about. After all, Hermione's my girlfriend and no amount of persuasion from my friends is going to make me dump her for someone else. We've had all those experiences together, which is something irreplaceable, so no other bimbo - pretty or not - is going to catch my eye.

"To tell the truth, yes," he says.

"Then you can keep talking, and I'll just grab my bag and go. I've got to go to our next class." I wave at him. "See you later! Try not to be too late, or Flitwick will give you a hell load of homework."

As I walk down the corridors to my Charms classroom, I think over what Hermione had proposed for a first date. 'Let's go to a Muggle shopping mall,' she'd said to me excitedly. Then she said something about how it could make me more aware of the Muggle world so that I stop saying bad things about Muggleborns. Well, it's not my fault I'm a Pureblood. I just can't resist showing of my bloodline and mocking other people's. I guess you can call it a bad habit.

I poke my head into the class when I arrive. Excellent. Double Charms with Gryffindor. I catch Hermione's eye and she motions her head ever-so-slightly towards the empty seat next to her, which she had piled a tower of books on top of. Weasley is glaring sourly at her leaning tower of books, looking as if he's itching to shove it away and sit next to her himself. I clear my throat majestically as I enter, not spotting Flitwick's head behind the desk.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy," he squeaks. "Kindly do not interrupt the class when you enter late. I know you love to announce your presence to the whole class every time you enter, but try to do it in a quieter, less disruptive way."

A few Gryffindors titter, who stop abruptly once I give them the eyebrow-nostril combo, a mixture of a raised eyebrow and flared nostrils to illustrate the fact that I am non too pleased. "Sorry, Professor. I'll clear my throat more quietly next time." He gives me an appraising look but doesn't say anything else. I quickly move to my seat and, sighing, remove all the books carefully and sit down.

"So what did you decide about my idea?" she mouths as she waves her wand around a few times. The cushion in front of her starts to unsew itself and soon, a large mound of thread lies on her desk, entangled in the pile of cotton that was inside the cushion.

I watch her do the reverse charm and then glance at Flitwick as he demonstrates the unsewing charm over and over again. Soon, I get the hang of it. "Well... I guess it's a change from all those Hogsmeade dates I've been to so far."

She grins hopefully at me. "Is that a yes?"

"Hmmm..." I pause for dramatic effect. I can tell Hermione is a bit nervous about the whole dating prospect, and it's quite funny watching her fidget as I consider my answer. "Yeah, OK then. What time?"

"Yay!" Hermione cries, and earns a disapproving glare from Flitwick. The rest of the class falls silent at her outburst, and she covers her mouth quickly, face crimson. "Whoops. That was a bit loud. But I'm really pleased that you're going to be seeing more of the Muggle world, and maybe realizing that it's not nearly as bad as you think it is!" she adds in a whisper. I spot Weasley and Potter over her shoulder, the former trying to eavesdrop our conversation. He keeps dropping his cushion in a very un-accidental way and bends down to grab it, at the same time knocking it as close to Hermione's chair as possible before picking it up slowly.

I smirk at his pathetic skills. "What are you doing, Weasley? Trying to look up her skirt?"

He jumps and knocks his head on the corner of his own desk. Glaring at me amidst sniggers from the Slytherins, and the occasional giggle from a Gryffindor girl, Weasley's face is an amazing shade of tomato red. I didn't even know people's faces could go that red. Well, I guess you learn something new everyday. "Shut up, Malfoy," he hisses, trying to look threatening and rubbing his head where he bumped the table. At that moment, I suddenly remember our peace pact that we had made after having that fight, and make no further comments.

"Mr Malfoy! Please, no more interruptions, or I shall have to take points off Slytherin!" Flitwick squeaks indignantly, and punishes me by making my cushion whack me repeatedly on the head.

Soon, the day of the date to the Muggle world dawns. As soon as I get up, I flip through my wardrobe and after about 10 minutes of searching, I settle for black jeans with chains and a navy sweater over a long, pale blue shirt. Putting on my favorite silver skull necklace, I slip on my sneakers and stuff my wand in my pocket just in case. Hermione had told me to wait for her outside the Slytherin common room, but maybe I'll surprise her by going to the Gryffindor portrait hole early instead.

Grinning, I walk casually along the corridors, fending off the occasional fangirl as I make my way to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Good. No one there yet. I lean against the wall and shut my eyes, listening for people coming through the portrait hole.

Half an hour later, there's still no sign of Hermione. Had she slept in, or worse - forgotten about our date? Nah. She wouldn't forget something as important as this, something that could change my attitude towards Muggles completely. In fact, she'd be up bright and early... Shit! I open my eyes quickly and run back to the Slytherin common room, dodging random suits of armor and shuddering every time I rush through a ghost. By the time I arrive, I am shivering with cold but I look around frantically for signs of Hermione.

Where did she go?

"Draco!" someone yells behind me. I whirl around and see, to my disappointment, Elliot Davidson, a 5th year famous for his smart mouth. He runs a hand through his cropped black hair and jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Some girl's looking for you. It's that brunette one that you're always talking to... what's her name again?"

I smack his arm in gratitude, and he stumbles back. "Hermione, and don't forget it. Thanks a lot, man!"

10 minutes later, I am trailing behind a fuming Hermione. "Where the hell were you? I thought I asked you to wait outside your common room! Geesh."

I roll my eyes at her back. "I was trying to look for you. Sheesh. Where were you?"

"I was up bright and early, hoping to be there when you came out! And what do I find? Some 5th year telling me that you've already gone somewhere else!" She turns and glares daggers at me. Guess my hypothesis about her getting up early was right, after all. I sigh, and smile, before enveloping her in a hug. Hermione snuggles her head against my chest and sniffles regally. "Well, guess I'll forgive you. You'd better not do it again."

Heheh. Hugs can convince a girl to forgive nearly everything. I smirk to myself and plant a kiss on her lips before we continue walking slowly. My hands dangle at my side, not used to being unused - usually on the first date the girl grabs my hand whenever we stroll around and grips it like a vice. I guess Hermione's not that forward. Holding hands probably comes on the menu somewhere on the 7th or 10th date.

Well, I'm not waiting that long. I locate her wrist and grab it, and slide my fingers down to hold her hand. She jerks away involuntarily. "Sorry," she says sheepishly, rubbing her hands as if she'd received an electric shock. "I... I'm just not used to holding hands. Is it OK if..."

I fold my arms, amused. "Let me guess. Your hands'll start sweating? Is that it? Don't worry, I don't mind. I've had plenty of experiences with girls with sweaty hands." I make a face. "It's not... pleasant, but I can stand it."

"Are you trying to put me off holding hands with you forever?" she snarls, balling her hands into fists. How cute. She's so pretty when she's angry. I chuckle quietly. "What are you laughing at?" she asks, confused. "I don't remember telling a joke."

"You didn't," I say, grinning. "It's just that you look so cute when you're mad. Makes me wanna..." I cup her face in my hands and kiss her deeply. "... do that."

She blushes crimson and gives me a sidelong glance. "You're very good at cooling girls' anger. Then again, you've probably had lots of experience doing it."

"How did you guess," I say dryly. "I had to practise it, or I'd be dumped more than I do now. Or actually, before I asked you out. No way I'm letting you dump me so soon, anyway."

We reach the exit to Hogsmeade. Hermione goes ahead to explain what we are going to do and where we are going to Filch, who glares at her and relents only after seeing the untidily scrawled permission form by Professor McGonagall. When I pass him, I smirk at him and his glare sharpens until I can almost feel his gaze cutting into my back as I walk through the door. "Urk," I say, and stride as fast as I can until I can't see him anymore whenever I look over my shoulder in a paranoid fashion.

"What on earth are you doing?" Hermione asks cuttingly when I turn around for the 4th, and last, time and sigh in relief. "Don't worry, I have permission. No one's going to expel us."

"No, not that. Never mind. Let's enjoy ourselves while we're here."

She laughs. "We're not there yet. This is Hogsmeade - the Muggle world is beyond it. After all, this is the only village around this area that's jam-packed with wizards and witches. Elsewhere it's just all non-magical folk."

I look around one last time at the familiar sight of people of all ages wandering around in vivid cloaks. "Well, then... let's go."

A few moments later, we exit the Hogsmeade village via a small gate near the Shrieking Shack. Outside, there's a big sign displaying the words 'CONSTRUCTION SITE - DO NOT ENTER' directly over the gate. I guess that it emanates some kind of spell that distracts Muggles and stops them coming close. Kinda like those spells around the World Quidditch Cup stadium here in London.

We walk past several old buildings, until finally, the amount of people on the streets get larger and larger. Of course, these people aren't the brightly robed witches and wizards of our community, but instead have on casual clothes like Hermione and mine. Businessmen and -women in suits stride briskly past us, and one particularly burly woman bumps me roughly and doesn't even look back. My fingers instantly fly to my pocket where my wand is, but Hermione grabs my wrist and gives me a warning look.

"If you hex her, I will blow you to smithereens, I swear," she mutters. "Well, if not me, then the Ministry of Magic."

"Call it the Automatic-Malfoy-Self-Defence movement," I say, assuming a casual pose again as we stroll around. "You tend to develop movements like that when your dad hangs around with Death Eaters all the time."

She snorts, but doesn't say anything in response. We pass a shop full of little glass figures, and I stop to stare. The sunlight reflects off each face of the glass, and makes them look... almost ethereal. I pull Hermione by the arm into the shop, causing quite a scene with her struggling and my dragging. "Take a look at these! Look, there's a serpent. I should buy one of these for Snape and maybe he'll let me off the hook next time I break a couple of school rules. Or should I buy this little Cupid here for him...? You think that maybe it'll make him feel better about not having had a girlfriend in his entire life?"

Hermione's giggling attracts more stares and whispers from the other customers. "That's so mean, Draco! Just because you've had more girlfriends than the amount of socks in Dobby's sock collection, it doesn't mean you can make fun of other people's romantic lives." In spite of her righteous words, her giggles don't stop and she is soon hiccoughing and laughing at the same time. I pat her on the back, grinning.

"Hmm... do you think the shop keeper would notice if I made a few of his glass figurines invisible? He'd be scared out of his wits when he discovers that there's something on the shelf, but he can't see it!" I grin wickedly and quietly whip out my wand. Tapping the glass, I mutter the spell I vaguely remember from Transfiguration a few weeks ago, and wave my wand around as unnoticeably as possible. The glass shatters with an ear-splitting shriek, much like a banshee, and Hermione jumps backwards quickly, eyes wide.

The explosions triggers a chain reaction and the glass sculptures next to it crack and shatter. Fuck. "Draco! What the hell did you do?" Hermione hisses through her teeth as she attempts to smother the statue about to explode with her scarf. Bits of glass pierce the fabric. "Ouch! Ow, ow owww! Man, these little bits of glass hurt!"

"Hey, you kids! What are you doing there?" The shopkeepers yells. Many of the people in the shop had left in a hurry when they heard the shattering noise and the banshee scream, and now the few that are left are huddled in a corner, looking terrified. One tried to escape but the shopkeeper caught him by the scruff of his neck and threw him back. "Sonny, you haven't paid for that yet. I know it's your dear old granny's birthday, but you're not stealing from me to give it to her!"

"Er, I sneezed and the force of impact made the glass break," I say in my most innocent voice. Behind me, Hermione's hold on my arm tightens as she tries not to laugh out loud. "I've been told that I have a very strong sneeze, sir. It seems that this time was no exception. Rather the opposite, actually."

The man folds his arms across his chest. "Yeah, and your one little sneeze made a whole row of my glass sculptures explode. What are you, the big bad wolf? If you're going to blow something down, go do it in another person's shop! I don't get enough business as it is, without you scaring my rare customers away." He glances at the remains of his figurines and slowly looks back up at me. "I expect you to pay for it all, of course."

Hermione and I exchange helpless glances. "How much?" she asks tentatively. "We'll resort to fixing it by magic if we have to," she mutters out of the side of her mouth to me. I nod.

"Hmmm... good thing those that you smashed are the cheaper ones. Another row above or below and you'd be paying a fortune. You owe me... about 700 pounds."

"Se- SEVEN HUNDRED?" I shout angrily. "That's outrageous, for those cra- I mean, delightful little sculptures!"

Hermione quickly pulls me back. "This isn't galleons, Draco!" she says in a low voice. Smiling brightly at the shopkeeper, the corners of her mouth twitch as she tells him that we would fix it, if they would just leave the shop for a while. "We happen to be skilled repairers of antiques, you see," she explains. "Unfortunately, my boyfriend's sneezing often causes problems with our customers. So we're looking for a way to stop his forceful sneezing... ahahaha... so yeah."

The man looks at us skeptically. "You can fix it right here and now? Well, you might as well try - those pieces of glass aren't going anywhere except for the rubbish dump if you don't succeed." He motions for the other customers to finish paying and then he leaves to the back of the shop, all the while glaring at us until the door shuts.

I raise an eyebrow at her. "Well, might as well get started," I say, rolling up the sleeves of my sweater. "_Reparo_! _Reparo_! And _Reparo_!" The glass reassemble themselves smoothly and full figurines are soon lying on the ground. Hermione keeps an eye out for people watching and occasionally mouths the spell herself.

When we are done, she places them on the shelf and claps her hands. "There. Done. What's the time? How long did we take?"

"Er... about 20 minutes." I glance at my watch and back up at her quizzically. "Why? How long do Muggle antique repairers take to restore a few glass sculptures?"

"Damn," she says. "I don't want to wait here for hours. Let's just go. Leave a nice surprise for the guy." She grabs my hand and pulls me out like I pulled her into this shop in the first time. Her hand is warm over mine, and I grip it tightly. This ought to be in a history book. 'Hermione Granger, best friend of Harry Potter, grabs Former Nemesis Draco Malfoy's hand'. Ha.

Out on the street, strange metal buggy things move at a very fast pace along the road. I start to walk across the grey path when one of them stop suddenly next to me. I stop, surprised, and Hermione claps a hand over her mouth to suppress a scream. "Kid! Watch where you're fucking going! Haven't you crossed a road before? For fuck's sake, teenagers these days..." A man swears loudly at me from inside the car. Ahhh. So these buggys are a form of transport.

I fix him with a cold stare. His gaze wavers and he looks down. "Mind your language, bastard," I say, and do the finger at him. Muggle world or not, the finger seems to be a universal rude sign, because all the students in Hogwarts seem to understand it and not all of them come from pureblood wizarding backgrounds like me. The man's face turns beet red and he starts yelling obscenities.

Hermione runs up to me. "Get moving, Draco! You nearly got run over! You're lucky that guy stopped in time. He could have killed you!" We walk quickly over to the other side, where a bunch of raggedy looking boys are hanging around. She slaps her forehead. "Oh yeah, I forgot. You've never seen cars before. Well, those things are called cars, and they can easily squash you into human pancake just by driving into you."

A few of those teenage delinquents whistle as Hermione and I pass. "Nice girlfriend you got there. Care to share her?" The leader, a handsome boy with dark brown hair and casual clothes puts an arm around her waist and pull her to him, nuzzling her cheek and staring at me defiantly with a smirk, as if challenging me.

The look on Hermione's face is pure horror and she attempts to elbow him in the stomach. "Let me go!" she protests, but the guy just holds onto her tighter, his smirk grower wider. "Uh, Draco? Some help here, please!"

I crack my knuckles, smiling pleasantly. "Don't worry, Hermione. I'll get you away in no time. Man, it's been a long time since I've clobbered someone properly... thanks for giving me the chance to brush up on my fighting skills, you fucktards." I feign a swing to the boy's face, which he ducks, and at the same time he throws Hermione to another of his friends. While he is distracted I step closer and bring my knee up quickly and it hits his groin. His eyes widen and I punch him in the face.

"M-my nose!" he screams, clutching his bleeding nose, which is most probably broken. "Y-you bastard, what was that for? I was just joking around! Fuck, I'm going to bloody kill you! Jeff, Kyle, get him!" Two of his straggly friends quickly come at me from both sides. I grab the skinny one called Jeff and smash his face onto my knee. He runs away, howling much like the leader, and the the other guy stops mid-step and back away.

I wipe blood off my hand and sneer at him. "What's wrong? Why're you backing away? I thought you boys wanted to have some fun. Don't chicken out now; I'm just starting to get warmed up."

The three boys cast terrified glances at me as they stagger away, tripping over their own feet as they try to run away as fast as possible. "H-he's a demon! What the hell... I've never seen someone who fights like that!"

"Let's just get out of here-!"

"Yeah, g-get moving!"

I laugh at their backs as they disappear into the crowd. People stare at them as they run, blood spurting from their noses. A large Muggle in a tidy uniform frowns at the blood on my hand, then at the guys who had just run away and starts piecing two and two together. He advances towards us, and I grab Hermione's hand and we run away as fast as we can, laughing all the way. Finally, we outrun the man and, panting and giggling, she leads me to a cafe where she orders a coffee and we sit down in stylish, black chairs around a small circular table.

"You were scary," Hermione confesses to me after a while of drinking our coffees in silence. "I turned around and that brown-haired guy's nose was bloody... wow. Do you study streetfighting or something?"

I smile. "No. Call it experience. I do it all the time when some girls' boyfriends find out they're cheating on them with me. You know how some guys tend to get violent when they've been cheated on. Me included."

She shudders. "I'm definitely not going to cheat on you, then. I feel sorry for those people that you just beat up, even though they were being really uncivil to me." Shaking her head, she laughs quietly. "Thinking back now, I can't believe how Ron could have gone through that fight with you with only a few bruises to show for it. He must be a lot tougher than I thought." Hermione nearly chokes on her coffee. "God, I can just imagine it now... Ron, in a black leather jacket, and black leather pants, with nose piercings and chains hanging around his neck..." She giggles, though it has a slightly sad edge to it.

"You still remorseful about your rejection of him?" I ask, trying to look nonchalant. Inside, however, I am a bit annoyed. Why is she still feeling depressed about that? After all, she did reject him herself. I didn't pressure her or anything.

Hermione shakes her head again quickly. "No. I'm happy with you." She smiles softly, and leans over to kiss me. I gladly kiss her back, careful not to spill my drink. Her mouth tastes like coffee, but it's a nice tinge. The kiss deepens until I spot people staring at us from the corner of my eye. I rest a hand on her leg and she breaks away, sniggering a bit. "That tickles!"

I laugh. "Sorry." The rest of the time in the cafe is spent in comfortable silent, with the occasional snog when we get bored.

Looks like the Muggle world is a lot more interesting - and dangerous - than I'd thought. I definitely wouldn't mind coming back here, if it's just to sit in this coffee bar again to talk and kiss.

With the latter being first priority, of course.

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And Draco gets a taste of the Muggle world, and seems to have fun in it! Let's hope he doesn't get run over. XD That would ruin the whole mood, wouldn't it?


	33. Chapter 33: Ron

Thank you again to all my reviewers! I love you all! -Wipes away tears-

Since several people have asked before, this is a very brief explanation on how you update to FFnet:

1. Sign in.

2. Upload your document (chapter) by clicking on Document and following the instructions.

3. Go to Stories, then New Story. Do what the instructions tell you and then fill out the required fields (Title of story, Summary, etc).

4. Use the chapter you just uploaded, and voila! You're done. :D

Btw, it's nice when people tell me to update soon, but when it gets to 'hurry up and update, it's been ages' or something like that, it doesn't make me feel very good (makes me feel guilty U.U). So I'm flattered you want me to update that much, but please have patience, OK? I go to high school, and I get homework like everyone else. And unfortunately, I'm not constantly inspired for the next chapter 24/7. It takes me a while to think up plot ideas, since I've gotten this far in the story and I have to keep it interesting. Cut me some slack! TT.TT

& now we move onto...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 33

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RON

Oh, bloody hell. What has Hermione gotten herself into this time? Well, OK, I knew this was going to happen. The signs were obvious, plus Malfoy actually confided in me that he wanted to go out with her. But... urgh. I guess I was a fool for thinking that my declaration of love would waver her stubborn mind. It didn't.

But it made me feel a little better that perhaps, had the circumstances been different - without stupid Malfoy meddling with her heart - then she might have felt the same way towards me. After all, all those times in the past when she'd acted with me as though she was more than a best friend (according to Ginny; personally, I didn't interpret those as signs of anything apart from her constant irritation with me).

Well, I might as well keep dreaming, but it's unlikely now that Hermione will ever become my girlfriend.

Sigh.

I trudge through the corridors with these sorry thoughts in my mind. For once I was glad Ginny and Harry were off somewhere (probably making out), so I could have some privacy without the sting of watching another couple showing their affection right in front of me. Not that they do it intentionally, but when you're with your boy/girlfriend you kinda can't help but exchange corny smiles and hold hands.

"God, why me?" I mumble to myself. First my best friend gets a girlfriend before me, now my other best friend rejected me for my worst enemy. This world is just crazy. Shaking my head forsakenly, I continue to wander around until someone runs past and knocks me on my shoulder hard. "Watch out!" I yell at the figure, glaring full-force at them. The surprised face of Blaise Zabini stares back at me.

There is silence for a few moments as each of us inspect the others' face. "Hmph. Weasley. Seems you've recovered well after that beating I gave you." I hear a little 'that's good' muttered under his breath, and my face grows pale. "Well, anytime you want another whipping, come back to me and I'll do it." He smirks at me in a Malfoy-like way and then leaves. I stand staring at his receding figure, thinking over his words and comparing them to what I've heard about him before.

Isn't Blaise gay or bisexual? My blood suddenly runs cold as I piece his words and that bit of information together.

'That's good'. He was glad I recovered from his beating. Well, that would be obvious, since we had fought quite a long time ago and I had been well-off enough to stagger back to the Gryffindor common room after the fight. And he certainly did NOT give me a beating - I was a fair challenge for him and we ended it in a draw. Yes. A draw. Ahem.

But what kind of guy gets into a fight with someone, and then is glad when they recover? Unless... Urgh. I don't even want to think about it.

Shuddering, I quickly stride back towards the common room to warm myself at the fire. Unfortunately, when I kick the 3rd year that was on the armchair closest to the blazing fireplace, not even a house elf's specially toasty fire could unfreeze my mind from the shock - the shock of the prospect that Blaise, the most famous bisexual in the school, could possibly be acting caring towards me.

YUCK!

"Ron, what are you doing, sitting here shivering?" Harry's inquisitive voice asks me.

I glance up quickly at him and smile blandly. "Er... nothing."

He sighs and runs a hand through his messy, jet black hair. "You're so easy to see through, you know. You really need to work on improving your lying skills. Ron, what is it? What's bothering you?" He attempts a joke. "Something happened between you and Hermione?"

Ouch. That struck a nerve. I sigh in a depressed way and nod. At least the memory of the rejection could maybe help cover up what happened with Blaise before. That is one memory that I do not want to keep in my mind. Not that I want to keep the image of Hermione's face when she told me she didn't feel the same way as I did in my head forever, but I have to prioritize. Personally, I'd rather have Hermione's face in my mind's eye forever than Blaise's.

Oh great. Now I just reminded myself again. "AGRAAAAAARGH!"

Harry takes a step back, startled. "R-Ron? What's wrong? Are you feeling OK?"

"No, I'm not OK!" I yell, earning stares from the whole common room. Quickly the younger students scurry away, and the older ones turn to watch the spectacle. "Harry... Hermione, she... oh, never mind."

"What happened to Hermione?" Harry asks. "Don't tell me she's being threatened by some Slytherin girl for being with Draco."

I sigh again. "Well... you know how I used to... well, like her?" By the amazed look on Harry's face, he didn't seem to have known. "Anyway," I continue quickly. "I kinda told her how I felt, but I didn't know she was already a couple with Malfoy. So I got turned down. Rejected. Whatever you like to call it."

He makes a strangled gasp. "Jeesh... Ron, if you felt that way you could have told me, and I would have subtly told her ages ago! Why did you have to wait until this year after Malfoy turned a bit more civil and Dumbledore introduced the Gryffindor-Slytherin Prefect duty pairs? You know how they both have strong personalities, and wherever they go they clash horribly. Not all of that clashing results in hate."

I stare at him. "Did Ginny tell you this?"

"Um... actually, yes." He gives me a sheepish grin and I feel a little better. Looks like Harry is no better at analyzing Hermione's feelings and thoughts than I was. Although I have to admit, Ginny was right - Hermione and Draco Malfoy had been bitter enemies for ages, and both indeed had dominating personalities, although in different ways. She was a more quiet, caculating and authoritive figure; Malfoy was commanding, cold and very upfront. I still don't understand how those two managed to become an item, but I guess it's true that opposites attract.

Just then, Ginny sprints down the steps to the girl's dorms and gives Harry a big hug from behind. "Harry! Good, you're here. I couldn't find you after dinner. Do you want to go to the library to finish some homework?"

"You two, get a room. Honestly." I roll my eyes playfully, though the sight still twinges a small part of my heart. Must be heartburn, I tell myself firmly.

She pokes her tongue out at me, and frowns. "Hey... Ron, I could have sworn that you had Prefect duties tonight. Something about supervising a detention?"

Shit! I totally forgot about it. If I'm late again, McGonagall will seriously kill me. "-Bleeep-"

"Mind your language! There're a couple of first years here, you know." Ginny shakes her head at me. "Ron, you're so hopeless. If you don't get your act together, Harry might be replacing you as Prefect." She coos at him, smiling.

I scowl at her. "That's my business. Thanks for reminding me, though. See you later, Harry."

Rushing as fast as I can, through the portrait-hole, past many classrooms and nearly falling off a staircase when it made up its mind to shift itself, I finally arrive at the doorway of McGonagall's Transfiguration room. She gives me a disapproving glare but doesn't say anything about my late appearance. I turn my head and groan. Of course. Hermione'd had Prefect duties with Malfoy earlier, so to preserve the balance of how often each Prefect did duties, I would be forced to pair with the other Slytherin Prefect - none other than Pansy Parkinson.

She flutters her long, black lashes at me and flicks back her hair. "Hi, Ron. We're going to oversee a detention today! Isn't that just lovely?"

To be honest, I don't find anything lovely about that. Stuck in a classroom with a bunch of rowdy teenagers, and with the girl who practically broke my back with her 'massage' when she tried it on me before, isn't my idea of perfect night of duties. But I put on a forced smile for sake of appearance in front of the Professor, and sit down as far from her as I can. McGonagall raises an eyebrow at my behavior but continues outlining our duty. "Mr Weasley and Miss Parkinson, tonight you will be on your best behavior. The students in detention will not benefit if you slack off on duty and do not oversee them properly. Furthermore, if you do not do a good enough job - we will be able to see what you are doing at anytime with Professor Dumbledore's Seeing Orb - we may have to strip you of your authority as one of the Prefects."

She pauses to give us both a terse look. "You will be in charge of a class of 3rd years, so they shouldn't be too much trouble. Remember - no spells allowed, no talking if possible, and make sure nobody takes in or uses an automatic quill for their lines."

I nod, and Pansy does the same with an unusually serious look on her face. I have to admit, she's pretty, but after what she did to me I would be insane to consider her as a possible girlfriend.

_You know, you're trying pretty hard to forget about Hermione,_ a snarky little voice says in my head. I growl unconsciously at it, and McGonagall's eagle gaze instantly turns to me. "You have a problem, Mr Weasley? Perhaps you could enlighten us as to what you object to."

"N-no, it's nothing," I splutter. "I was just scaring away a mosquito."

"Oh, Ron," Pansy giggles. "You don't growl sexily at a mosquito to scare it away! You wave your hands around." I nearly gag at the 'growl sexily' part, but keep my face as straight as I can.

Professor McGonagall clears her throat. "Well, that is all I have to instruct you. The detention room is on the next floor, in the room with a Christmas wreath hanging on the door."

"It's not Christmas yet," Pansy says, confused.

The woman turns to her, smiling slightly. "No, it isn't. The wreath was from last year. Nobody quite got around to taking it down. And it serves as a mark for that classroom, I suppose. Now, off you go. I expect to see a orderly class when I look in the Seeing Orb later." She claps her hands to dismiss us.

Pansy and I head out the door and I walk a few paces in front of her. "Aww, Ron! Don't leave me, I hate being alone."

"Well, you can probably stand loneliness for as long as we get to the next floor, can't you?" I say back, emotionless. I don't want to sound too angry or she might attack me. After all, this corridor is pretty empty.

"Roooon! Wait up!" she wails, obviously not listening to a word I say. She runs up to me, her high heels clacking on the ground, and clings onto my arm. "Please wait."

I sigh. "Alright. Hurry up then. We don't want to be still wandering around when McGonagall checks up on us, do we?" She shakes her head quickly and is soon dragging me along as she sprints along the corridors, up the steps and around the corners with amazing speed. "Ow! My arm! Pansy, stop running so fast!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she squeaks, and rubs my arm. "Would you like me to massage it, honey?"

"No!" I snatch my arm back, a frightened expression on my face, and move a metre away from her. "I mean, I'm fine," I add when I see her hurt expression.

Pansy lowers her eyes. "I'm sorry. I hurt you last time with my over-enthusiastic massaging, didn't I? Draco scolded me about it, after your friend Hermione came up and yelled at him about it. It's all my fault... now Draco-poo hates me." She sniffs, then tears start dripping down her face and splatter at her feet.

I start to panic. Oh no. A girl is crying right in front of me. What do I do? What do I do? Do I smack her and tell her to stop blubbering, or do I do what those romantic Muggle movies show and let her nestle into my arms? Well, that's what Harry and Hermione told me, anyway. I haven't seen any of those movies myself, I assure you. I'm not that corny.

Honestly, I'm not!

"Er... um... Pansy... it's OK. I'm sure, uh, Draco-poo doesn't hate you. He's just annoyed. Anyway, Hermione's a very scary person when she'd mad, so it's no wonder he yelled at you after she yelled at him." I pat her on the shoulder awkwardly.

She sniffles and raises her head. "Really? You think so?" She thinks for a moment. "Hmmm... true, Hermione Granger is going out with him, so maybe he told me off because he felt guilty about me hurting one of her friends."

Malfoy, guilty? Impossible. But he did probably scold Pansy because he already liked Hermione back then, and wanted to seem heroic in front of her. So back then their strange relationship had, really, already started. God... how could I have been so blind? Well, nothing to do now except just to get over it.

"Yeah, maybe," I tell her absently.

A few moments later, we stand in front of the classroom with the Christmas wreath on the door. Inside, I can barely glimpse a noisy class, with random black shapes jumping and running around. Pansy and I exchange dreading glances before pushing the door open. "OK kids, BE QUIET!" I shout in my most commanding Prefect voice. I expect that the whole class will shut up.

Nothing happens. The 3rd years continue screaming and laughing. I turn to Pansy helplessly.

She grins at me. "Watch this," she says. Unbuttoning the top two buttons of her blouse and therefore showing off her black lace bra and cleavage, she bends over the desk and says, in a very provocative voice, "Ooh boys and girls! Come on, back to your seats before I get angry." She pouts for effect and giggles.

Immediately half the class (namely, the boys) start drooling over their desks. The girls glare at Pansy, and then at them, but reluctantly do as they are told now that half of their force is paralyzed with love. "Oh, honestly. These boys are pathetic." One girl mutters.

"I know! Haven't they ever seen a D-cup sized cleavage before?"

"The way they're staring, I doubt they've ever seen any real ones apart from porn magazines."

"Hahah... not so loud, those Prefects might dock points. Who knows how sensitive that girl is about her boobs?"

"Obviously not sensitive enough to keep her blouse buttoned..."

I clear my throat loudly, making sure to cast the magnifying-voice spell that I'd seen Ludo Bagman perform on himself at the Quidditch world cup a few years back. The noise echos around the classroom, and snaps the male students out of their reverie. Pansy rebuttons her top and adjusts her Prefect tie, making herself seem as tidy as someone like Hermione, who likes to wear her tie everyday just to show her status. Lately she's eased off a bit on that habit, but she still puts it on more than necessary. "Alright. Today Pansy-" I nod at her - "-and I are going to supervise this detention. Remember, just because we're 6th years doesn't mean that we don't have most of the authority of the staff.

"We can take off points from your houses just as easily as a teacher, and we can also add house points if your behavior is good enough. Failure to obey us may, and probably will, result in another detention." I sigh to myself in relief as I conclude my 'Prefect speech', the speech that all of us Prefects have to memorize and say to an audience when an occasion like this arises. I nudge Pansy, who lifts her head quickly and glances at me. "Next part," I hiss out of the corner of my mouth. "Go!"

She nods. "We expect your behavior tonight to be as if we were your most strict teachers. You wouldn't yell or run around during one of their classes, so neither should you here. Of course, you're allowed to talk, but try to keep your voices to a whisper or we will be forced to cast a charm on you to shut you up."

I smother a laugh. The last bit wasn't part of the actual speech, but it was a good touch that would definitely make the 3rd years do as we say. Muahahahhah! And if they don't, they'll be in for a rough night in the Hospital Wing.

A girl with red ribbons in her hair raises her hand boldly. "Yes?" I say, snapping out of my cruel daydream. "You have a question?"

"Well... it's not a question exactly, but... can we play spin the bottle with you two? We've kinda been here for a few hours already, and it's getting boring." She smirks in a very familiar way, and I am again unpleasantly reminded of Malfoy. The rest of the class shouts out their agreement and I raise my wand threateningly. They immediately stop.

Pansy raises an eyebrow. "Spin the bottle? This is a detention, you know." She looks at me with a hint of pleadingness in her eyes. Of course, Pansy Parkinson is the one girl whose favorite game just happens to be spin the bottle. I sigh and roll my eyes. Would a game of that take my mind of Hermione and Malfoy, and also the strange encounter with Blaise this morning?

But then there's also the fact that McGonagall was spying on us from the orb. "Better not, or we'll get caught," I say in a low voice. "I'd rather pass on a game of spin the bottle with a bunch of 3rd years than get caught and be stripped of our Prefect title."

She sighs. "You're right. Oh well... too bad Draco-poo isn't here, he'd have agreed in a second."

I grit my teeth. "If you're trying to compare me to him and making me feel inferior, it's not going to work." After all, Malfoy was the Sex King of the whole school, and spin the bottle was nothing to him. However, it wasn't nothing for me to kiss a random girl that I didn't know - I had more integrity than that.

"Awww! I was hoping I'd throw you off so that you would relent. Too bad. I wouldn't have minded kissing you, you know." She winks at me and starts humming as she tells the girl that, unfortunately, as much as she'd like to play it, McGonagall was keeping an eye on them and if she caught them, they would be in deep shit. I stare at her, open mouthed. Did I hear correctly? She wanted to kiss me? My eyes bug out and I hear a few people snickering behind me. I ignore them, too caught up in my surprise to notice.

The ribboned girl shrugs nonchalantly, her face blank if not a little disappointed, without a trace of a blush of embarrassment. God. Kids these days. So... forward, I guess would be the word. I decide not to take Pansy too seriously, with her reputation to flirt with every decent-looking guy she came across. But that would mean she thinks I am decent-looking. A little part of me cackles gleefully, while the rest of me tries to stay modest and dismiss the thoughts that are dive-bombing into my mind.

The detention is passed quietly, almost too quietly. I keep snatching suspicious glances at the students, unable to believe that such a rowdy class has quietened down so easily, just because we didn't let them play a game they wanted and showed a little authority. Maybe they are afraid of being seen by Professor McGonagall. After all, there's always a chance they could be expelled if their school records were bad enough.

At 9pm, I clap my hands to get the class's attention. "OK, people. Time to go back to your dorms. Great behavior from all of you today - try not to get into detention next time, OK?"

There is a bit of whispering and chattering, and random glances from the 3rd years. Pansy yawns and heads out the door first. "Come on, Ronald, let's go. Don't want to stay here any longer than necessary, right?" I grimace at the 'Ronald' but nod in agreement. A large gaggle of the class gather behind me - I don't know why, since the detention has already ended and we're all out the door, meaning they're free to go. Maybe they like us too much to leave us. Har har. Since when did I become a 3rd-year magnet?

Suddenly, I am pushed forward towards Pansy as somebody giggles loudly behind me. "AHHHHHHH!" I scream as I fall right into her shoulder. The last thing I see is her amazed face before my own is smushed into her chest. "GRAHHHHHHHHH!" I continue yelling, though now my voice is muffled due to the obstacle in my face. I crawl up from where we fell and turn on the 13-year-olds, face beet red and wand raised. They screech and laugh, and run away like little garden gnomes.

"OMG, did you see his face?"

"That was priceless!"

"... it's what he gets for making us do absolutely nothing for so long."

"Hahahaha!"

I boil in anger, my face a deep shade of fire-engine red. Pansy has just climbed back onto her feet, looking dazed. I turn back to her. "Look, Pansy... I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do that - those bloody kids pushed me."

"Oh, Ron! You're so forward," she titters, batting her lashes at me. "You definitely deserve another of my massages!" She giggles and latches onto my arm again, though not before planting a kiss on my ear. "Oh, your face is so hot... let's get you into bed, shall we?" Giggling a second time, she pulls me along the corridor, to who knows where. I try to free myself but her grip is like iron.

No! I must get back to the Gryffindor common room somehow. But how? I can't even get away from her. Pansy's strength is amazing for a girl.

I knew I should have told McGonagall I was sick tonight.

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Ron's quite popular with the Slytherins, ne? XD Please review - I can't guarantee it'll make me update faster, but it'll definitely spur me to update.

I've been obsessed with the online game Maplestory recently... O.o Does anyone here play, or has heard of it at all?


	34. Chapter 34: Hermione

Phew! Another fairly long break (for me). I had exams... x.X And yes, it was awful. I'm pretty sure I failed my last one, which was Social Studies. ACK! How I hate that subject... I was never very good with maps and history and things like that. I'm just not interested. U.U

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my new piece of work. :D

& after a night of writing...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 34

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HERMIONE

I never thought I'd be saying this, but Ron's been spending a curious amount of time lately with Slytherins. And I don't mean those nice, respectable Slytherins, but Pansy. And Blaise, but he's not that bad. Still. I'd have thought that last time, when she nearly snapped his spine with that massage of hers, he'd learn to keep his distance from her. But nooooo, he just has to go back for more. This time I wouldn't be surprised if he got shipped to St Mungos or something.

Ah well. It's his life, so he makes the choices, however stupid.

And NO, I am not jealous of Pansy - I was over Ron completely since 4th year. I'm just worried about him as a best friend. It's not exactly a common sight to see Ron Weasley being dragged around by the arm by Pansy Parkinson, or deep in discussion with Blaise Zabini - all of which some of my friends witnessed. Most were very disturbed by the expression on Blaise's face when he was talking to Ron. I'd hate to imagine what it was like.

Let's just hope Ron'll emerge from all this alive.

I walk down the corrider to the Great Hall and sit down in my usual spot next to Harry. Ron's here, surprisingly - lately he'd eaten most of his meals with Seamus and Dean. He gives a grunt of acknowledgement when he sees me and Harry shrugs helplessly at me. Oh well. A grunt is enough for now. For the last few days, he's hardly even noticed when I entered the same room he was occupying, and whenever I tried to talk to him he'd either say nothing or tell me he didn't feel like talking. Of course, as soon as I leave him he'd start chattering animately to the person next to him, ignoring their bewildered expressions and my hurt looks.

I smile slightly and scoop up a spoon of mashed potato. It's a little bit too salty and I find myself gulping down mouthfuls of pumpkin juice after I finish. Soon my cup is empty and when I pick it up to drink, there's nothing inside.

There is a sigh, and then the sound of someone yelping in pain. "Want a refill?" comes a gruff voice laced with agony. I look up at the source and find myself looking at Ron, who says with a grimace on his face, "Well? Do you want one or not? My arm's going to get bloody sore if you keep this up."

"Of course I do," I reply, grinning from ear to ear. Reluctantly he cracks a smile too, and moments later he, Harry and I are talking together, like the best friends we are. There's a warm feeling in my chest as I leave the hall with my friends and in the spur of the moment I pass by the Slytherin table and plant a big kiss on Draco's cheek. The surprised but pleased look he gives me makes me laugh and I run off, smiling like a maniac. I guess Ron thought everything through and decided it wasn't worth becoming enemies with me just because i rejected him.

Before I forget, let me recall what happened after Draco and I left the cafe in the Muggle world. Basically, I did my best to keep him from sprinting across the road, laughing as he tried to maneuver around all the cars. He seemed to find it funny whenever a car screeched to a stop right beside his legs, and the driver opened the window to yell at him to watch out. However I did not find this very amusing, as it could easily cost the life of my boyfriend.

Old ladies also seemed rather smitten by Draco. Whenever we passed one of them he'd be grabbed by the old lady, who would ask us for the time and then spend 10 minutes cooing over him. Disgusting and disturbing as it was, Draco seemed to enjoy the attention and being fussed over. I would have to drag him away from charming the skirts off those old women, but he'd always make me feel like I was the person he really cared about afterwards by all sorts of gestures - kisses, hugs, arms around my shoulders and laughing and joking with me. I had never really gone out with someone like him before. All the other boys I'd been with before were all either awkward and shy or arrogant and didn't think girls were for anything but to snog.

Not exactly what I'd envision my perfect boyfriend to be like.

Draco is probably the smoothest guy I've ever known. OK, he could be an arrogant ass when he wanted to be, which was most of the time for the first few years I knew him, but as I got to know him he became less of a bastard and more of a gentleman. He was still mean to Harry and Ron but, I don't know if it was puberty or what - he was suddenly a lot nicer to most girls. Excluding me.

Well now there's no doubt why he was still so evil to me when other girls thought he was the most amazing guy they knew. Like they say, you always pick on those who you like.

"Ouch!" I exclaim as I am snapped nastily out of my reverie by being bumped by someone with an overpowering smell of a kind of deoderant I recognize from the Muggle world as Lynx. For those of you who have never smelled it (lucky you), it's like a mixture of toilet spray, women's deoderant and insect repellant. Yes, that does add up to a very strange and unpleasant smell.

"Watch where you're going," an amused voice says. "You were swaying drunkenly all over the place."

I flush crimson immediately. I was swaying like a drunk? In front of all those people going to their classes? "Er... thanks for stopping me then," I say, averting my eyes. I catch a glimpse of short, black hair against a pale face and piercing eyes before I lower my gaze to my shoelaces, showing unnatural interest in them.

The boy laughs. "You're welcome." I look up gratefully, and see him narrow his eyes at me. "Hey... aren't you that 6th year who's going out with Draco Malfoy?"

Suddenly, a deathly silence falls on the people around us. The girls glare murderously at me, looking as though they want to strangle me and scratch my eyes out on the spot, while the boys give me a look of huge relief that I'd taken hold of Draco Malfoy's heart, meaning he wouldn't be showing any interest in their girlfriends. This mixture of looks and moods makes the atmosphere around us very tense but somehow a little relieved and light. If that makes sense. I give the black-haired boy a look that says _What on earth were you thinking? Now I'm going to be stalked by murderous girls wherever I go!_

The apologetic shrug and responding look he gives me tells me that he doesn't really care. "You know Ginny, right?" he carries on brightly. Slowly the people around us stop staring and move on, whispering and muttering ominously. I gulp nervously but try to keep a tough front and smile blankly. "I'll take that as a yes. Could you introduce me to her someday? I kinda made a bad impression the first time I met her." He pokes out his tongue, looking slightly embarrassed.

I raise an eyebrow. "You do know that she has a boyfriend, right?" I say as I gesture for him to walk with me. If I don't start moving I'll be late for Charms, and although Professor Flitwick is half my height his wrath is still an awful thing to bear. "Harry Potter. The Harry Potter."

He sighs. "Yeah, I know. She told me last time I talked to her. Actually, she kinda grinded it in. I know I don't have a chance next to him but I can at least try to get on her good side, right? I mean, if they break up I'll be the first to-"

"Stop right there," I interrupt. "You've only met her once. What's with the whole lovey-dovey thing? And for your information, Harry and Ginny will probably never break up. They've gone a long way and they're not going to give up now."

"I guess you can call it love at first sight," he says with an exaggerated loving expression. "But to be honest, I do like her. It's not often you find a girl with a personality like hers. She's so... fiesty."

I smile inwardly. That's our Ginny for you. She could be as sweet as a lamb, but if anyone said or did something she didn't like she'd turn into an Amazon warrior in a second. My guess was that she didn't quite like this boy very much. Strange. He seemed nice enough. "That's definitely true," I say. "So you want me to introduce you, as a friend. Well, wouldn't it be a little hard, seeing as she's already met you? And left with a bad first impression?"

He shakes his head, groaning. "Oh God. There's no use, is there? I can't turn back the clock and change what I said to her. She probably hates me now."

"What did you say to her, anyway?" I ask, curious.

"Oh... nothing too important. I kinda forgot." He waves a hand breezily and I get the feeling that he's not quite telling me the whole picture. Then again, if I said something embarrassing to someone I like, then I wouldn't really want to tell others either. "But it definitely made her mad. Very mad."

I giggle. "OK. I'll tell her about you. What's your name?"

"Elliot. Elliot Davidson. I don't think she'll look too happy she hears my name." He grimaces.

"Alright, Elliot. I can't guarantee she'll want to be friends with you, but I'll see." I pause. "Oh, and if you're thinking of going any further than being just friends with her, I think you should just give up now. She and Harry are very happy together, and if you try to break them up you'll have all her friends, including me, screaming hexes at you. You might be able to dodge a couple of spells but you can't possibly escape a whole group of them." I give him an evil look, and he shrinks back, startled. "Well, I have Charms now, so I'll talk to you next time I see you. Bye!"

During Charms, I tactfully don't mention my conversation with Elliot to Harry, or he'd probably go all capslock on us. I stick to safe topics such as, 'Doesn't the ceiling look bright and sunny today?' and 'Ron, what do you think of my little pincushion?'. Ron and Harry look at me oddly as I chatter away nervously, but they don't say anything, obviously thinking my babbling has something to do with being glad that Ron was talking to me again.

I wonder how I can tell it to Ginny. Elliot seemed like a nice guy but it's likely he wasn't quite so nice to Ginny when he encountered her. And would she even consider being his friend? If Harry found out I was helping some guy get close to her then he'd probably flip.

Why am I even helping him anyway? He's just a random guy that I met in the corridors who told me I was stumbling around, and somehow the topic moved on to Ginny. Sure, he's attractive, but that's not something that would distract me ever since I got involved with Draco. Of course, hardly anybody in Hogwarts can compare to Draco, so looks isn't something that can persuade me to help someone.

It must have been pity for the poor guy. Yes, pity, That's it.

I think about this as I head back to the common room in the evening to find Ginny. The faster I talk to her about it, the better. Unfortunately there is no sign of the redhead and after a fruitless search in the dormitories, I come up with nothing. Oh well. I guess the subject will have to wait. Out in the main area of the room, a small group of people are gathered around something while more people are looking on from the sides.

"Hermione! There you are," Lavender screeches, grinning widely and breaking out of the group when she sees me. "Been waiting for you forever."

"Er... really?" I say with a hesitant smile. "What for?" Don't tell me they're having a study session and are waiting for me to provide all the answers.

She smirks. "What else? We're having a party! Gryffindor won against Slytherin in the latest Quidditch match. Ha! Served them right." Her tone changes immediately and she sighs. "But the sad thing is, Draco suffered a defeat... that's the only sad part. He looked so forlorn... I could have gone up and snogged him to make him feel better." She glances at me and notes my sour expression with a look of fright. "Oh right! I forgot. You're going out with him, aren't you?" She mutters something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like, '... how come some people get all the hot guys...'.

"Yeah, I am," I say, feeling oddly proud. "So what's with the crowd?"

"That's what I'm talking about," she grins. "In celebration, we're holding a little game, for 6th years only. Actually, it's called The King - OK, the name sounds really lame, but once you start playing, you'll get hooked. Come on, I'll show you." She pulls my arm and drags me over to the bunch of people, who look up and greet me rather giddily. "There's butterbeer, in case you're thirsty," Lavender announces, as if reading my thoughts.

"NUMBER 1, TAKE OFF NUMBER 5'S SOCKS!" A shout of laughter rings out as Dean Thomas gapes at Seamus, who'd yelled the order. Everyone is giggling and laughing as Dean reluctantly tugs at Parvati's pink striped socks. She slaps his hand away, giggling and retracting her foot.

I grin and look over at Lavender, who winks at me. "See? It's a lot of fun. I'll put in an extra stick in the pile for you."

"How do you play?" I ask, feeling adventurous. "It looks kinda... explicit."

She laughs loudly. "Don't worry, it's really all up to the King. Well, basically, you have this pile of sticks with numbers on them. The number you pick represents you. If you pick the stick that says 'K' on it, it means you're the King and you get to command any two numbers to do anything, within reason. For instance, if I'm the King, I could command you and someone else to snog." She smiles. "Of course, if something like that turns out to involve two people of the same gender, the King'll rechoose a number. Do you get the gist of it?"

I nod and think of Draco. He'd probably love this game. That reminds me... I haven't seen him since I kissed him on the cheek earlier today. Already I miss him and his charm. I guess this is what you call love.

Love? Are we really in love? Or is it just a deep crush? I still don't know at this stage. But we've been 'together' for so long, it feels as if it might really be love... after all, I've known him for 6 years and this year, we've really started progressing with our relationship. Before it was more of a 'I hate you!' thing between us, but now since we're both 16 and hormones are kicking in, the whole mutual hate thing has changed direction and turned into attraction.

I shake my head. These matters were still a little to early to think about. We've only been going out for a few days.

"OK, Hermione's playing too!" Lavender announces, and a small cheer rises from the ring of people. I find my spot between Harry and Lavender, and when the pile of sticks is passed to me I hesitantly pick the one in the middle. 12. I hope nobody calls that number. I wasn't really ready to do anything outrageous when I'd just got into the game.

Parvati whoops and stands up, grinning evilly. "I'm the King!" she shouts, and Seamus groans. Everyone laughs as she tries to stand as close to him as she can so she sees his number. "Um... 6 and 1, sing the most stupid song you know!"

Harry clutches his head and laughs helplessly. I erupt in a fit of giggles as he and Lavender go into the middle of the circle and discuss with each other for a few seconds before Harry starts by chanting, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" I crack up laughing. Last time he'd visited me in my Muggle home, he'd been exposed to a few episodes of Spongebob Squarepants and had loved it ever since.

Lavender responds by screaming, "SPONGEPUFF SQUAREPLANTS!" All the half-bloods or people who came from a family that lived among Muggles start laughing hysterically. The chanting and responding goes on until the whole group is clutching their stomachs and laughing until they cried. The butterbeer must have infested the atmosphere because although I hadn't drunk any, I was starting to feel light-headed with laughter.

The next round started, and the King turned out to be Dean Thomas. He has a glint in his eye as he says, "2, pass a lolly to 9's mouth with your own!" There is a gasp and giggles as people look around for who the people are. I look down and groan. 9. Who was 2? I looked around and to my horror, Ron steps out from the crowd, and catches my eye. The look of shock on his face shows his feelings clearly.

"It's Hermione and Ron!" someone yells, and Harry pales. The rest of the crowd start cheering and urging Ron to go for it. I'm too shellshocked to blush, but Ron's face turns a spectacular shade of red. He takes a lolly from the tray offered by Dean and walks towards me slowly, stopping an inch from my face. He stares at me as he puts the sweet between his lips. I expect him to put it in his mouth, but realize what he's going to do. I smile in relief. It wouldn't even really need our mouths to touch - he'd just need to move his mouth close enough so that I can get my lips around the lolly.

He tilts his head and I try not to move backwards. He puts a hand on the back of my head and lean in suddenly. The sweet pops into my mouth but Ron doesn't stop and move back. Instead he kisses me for several seconds before he pulls away, still staring at me. I glare at him, wiping my mouth quickly, feeling stunned. The people around us turn silent as their gazes move from him to me and back. "Hermione..." he starts, but is stopped short as I slap him across the face. Giving him one last filthy look, I fling my numbered stick down and stomp away. I hear Harry and some other people calling my name but don't stop as I exit the common room, shoving the painting aside. Ignoring the Fat Lady's shriek of surprise and the curses of her friends, I run towards the place I know I will get comfort and relief from what just happened.

"DRACO!" I yell as I arrived at the Slytherin common room entrance.

There is some commotion inside and finally, he comes out, looking amazed. "Hermione! What are you doing here? It's way past curfew. Filch'll have your head." After a moment, he smirks. "Ah, I get it. You missed me and came to find me!" Then he sees the look on my face and the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. "Come here," he says softly, and I lean into his arms. He envelops me in a strong hug and I nestle my head into his shoulder, trying not to let the tears come out. "Whatever it was, it's OK now. I'm here." I put my arms around his waist and hug as tight as I can, wanting to feel the comfort of him against me.

I knew I shouldn't have played that game tonight. If I'd known it would lead to this... with Ron kissing me when he didn't have to, and showing that he obviously still wasn't giving up on me despite my rejection... and me, not even trying to pull away when he planted his lips on mine - and as much as I hated to admit it, I'd enjoyed the kiss slightly. It was definitely true that there was still a little chemistry between us. The guilt was niggling at me and I made a promise to myself that next time he made a move on me, I'd move away as soon as possible. That is, if I let him make another move on me.

Oh, what to do? I really am in love with Draco, but if he ever finds out about the fact that I still have some leftover feelings for Ron, he'd break up with me. And that was the last thing I wanted.

There was only one thing for it. Get rid of the last few shreds of Ron in my heart and fill it up with Draco. Draco. Draco. Only Draco.

_--- Plan 9: Declare my love for Draco Malfoy_

_When: Whenever I feel is the right time - but soon_

_Why: I love him._

_How: Find a good opportunity and say it. Remember, must be fairly dynamic so it makes an impact on him._

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Getting rather dramatic now. :D I know I haven't even mentioned the fact that Hermione used to like Ron apart from when she said she liked him a couple of years ago. But as you know a long crush always leaves remnants in your heart -Cue soppy music- and that's the case with Hermione and Ron. Anyway, in the book they're practically together so you get a good idea that she did like him before.

And for the people who care, the case with Elliot and Ginny will come up later, I promise. :3


	35. Chapter 35: Harry

Thank you for all the positive feedback. :D I had a little writer's block for this chapter but after I thought of some ideas I started writing really fast... O.o That's the weird thing about writing fanfiction, when you run out of ideas you don't want to even touch the keyboard, but as soon as a good idea forms in your head you start typing at a superhuman speed. Hehe.

And some people have been lamenting for Ron... yes, Ron is indeed pitiful right now but we'll see about him at the end. XD I don't really hate him that much apart from the fact he bagged Hermione in the books, so he won't have too sad an ending. It's not like I'll slaughter him viciously... though that would make an interesting turn of events... lol. Nah, I'm not that cruel. Of course that won't happen. -Shifty eyes-

& toodle doo...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 35

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HARRY

I can't believe Ron did what he just did.

He kissed Hermione. Sure, that in itself isn't that big a deal. But Hermione is very obviously taken, by Malfoy might I add, and she had openly rejected Ron already. I don't know what he was thinking when he made that move. Now their friendship'll be on the line - if he doesn't stop chasing her, she'll have to avoid him; if he sulks, she'll have to leave him be; out of a total of three main possible outcomes, only one is positive and that's if they both come to terms with each others' situations and remain best friends. Hermione's already told Ron very plainly that she's in love with Draco Malfoy, and he even seemed to accept the blow when she rejected him.

And though I'm a little pained by it, she did reject him outright. She didn't just go to Malfoy and assume Ron would take the hint.

Well... although I'm Ron's best friend and a guy, I still think he was wrong. I know better than to intervene, though; if I did Hermione would get pissed by any comment that suggests I'm on Ron's side and Ron'll get pissed when he realizes I'm on Hermione's side. Basically, if I got involved in their feud I'm come off worse in either scenario. Which is not good. Not good at all.

"Looks like Ron's still not over her," Lavender, who is standing next to me, comments offhandedly. I stare at her. She looks up at me, eyebrows raised. "What? Don't tell me you didn't realize what happened. Ron Weasley, who was only supposed to do what Dean told him to, gave Hermione Granger AKA Draco Malfoy's girlfriend a full-on snog. Phew, that was a confusing sentence, wasn't it?" She pretends to wipe her brow and I roll my eyes. Ever the drama queen, Lavender is.

"So what's gonna happen now?" Dean comes over and asks, looking worried and casting glances at Ron, who is sitting sullenly in a armchair. "I know Hermione'll blame me... after all, I made the task up. But how was I supposed to know 2 and 9 would turn out to be those two, of all people? And I never would have guessed Ron's reaction to it! I heard all about when Hermione's rejected him... boy, do I feel sorry for that guy. Makes me remember how sad and traumatized I felt when Ginny dumped me..." He sniffles a few times for good measure until, speak of the Devil, the redhead herself comes elbowing into our little group.

My heartbeat skips and I feel an odd spark of happiness growing in my brain. It's weird how Ginny can affect me like this. Kind of like how I used to like Cho and felt all strange and nervous around her, but on a greater scale. After all, I never really got serious with Cho, because she always seemed to be with or thinking of Cedric and I didn't want to feel bad by getting together with his old girlfriend when she's clearly still hanging on to his memory. Nowadays she's not so bad as she was, and occasionally I see her with other guys. Meaning that she's getting over Cedric's death and moving on.

Very touching. But let's get back to reality.

"Cut out the emotional crap, Dean," Ginny laughs. "You weren't even that disappointed when I dumped you."

Dean put on an insulted expression. "How could you say that to me, your ex-faithful boyfriend for the summer?"

Ginny and Lavender giggle. I feel a little pang but say nothing and grin. "I'm sure that Muggle girl living next door to you comforted you enough," Ginny says, smiling. Then she hooks onto my arm. "You have her, I have Harry. Happy ending." She snuggles into me and plants a kiss on my cheek. Lavender rolls her eyes at the public display of affection and Dean pretends to gag. I just feel bliss. Ahh. What a life. Awesome friends and Ginny holding onto my arm. This is all I could ever hope for.

Until Hermione bursts back into the common room, glares at Ron and marches up to her dormitory. Good thing there's nothing but a curtain between the common room and the dorms, or that door would probably be broken and hanging off its hinges right now. Everyone in the room gulps silently at the confrontation between the two that would obviously occur tomorrow, and although they are eager not to be caught in the middle of it, they are also equally eager to watch the spectacle. I sigh. I'll be the only one trying to break them up and likely to be in the middle of much aggressiveness from both parties.

"Come on, Harry. Let's get to bed." At Ginny's words and tugging on my sleeve, I snap out of my sombre thoughts and realize what she says. Instantly my face flames red. Noticing my change in color, she frowns in confusion, tries to recall her actions or words and starts laughing. "Aw, you dirty-minded boy!" she smirks. "You know I didn't mean it that way... or are you thinking about that already?"

I shake my head furiously, flustered. "N-no, no! Course I have- I mean, haven't! Haven't!" Obviously that's a lie. It's a little hard not to daydream about it sometimes... but I didn't want to seem like a typical horny male to her. Ginny would be disgusted with me. I mean, I've kept up the whole good-boyfriend thing - buying her the occasional present, snogging regularly but not going much further and going on dates. I don't want to ruin it... after all, we've only been going out a few months. I don't know if that's long enough to start thinking about... that. You know. And plus Ginny's only 15. I'd feel like a paedophile.

She laughs. "It's OK, you know... I know loads of people who have started doing it only a couple of weeks into their relationship. And they're 4th years or the same age as me. Not meaning I want to start too," she adds quickly, blushing. "I'm just saying that we can start talking about it, if that's what you want."

Boy, this talk is getting pretty serious. I check for eavesdroppers and continue talking. "Well... of course I'll wait until you're ready. It's the girl's permission that matters."

"Harry, you're such a gentleman," she winks and kisses me, sliding her arms around my shoulders. The kiss deepens and I find myself trying not to be a typical male and slide my hand up her top. Argh! What are these urges? It's killing me. Oh well... I might as well enjoy a snog for now.

"Get a room, you two," Seamus laughs behind me. I jump a feet in the air and the two of us leap apart as though electrified, even though everyone knows about us and it's not such a big deal anymore. It's still embarrassing to be caught french kissing in public... and as I look around, we're standing right in the front of the boys' dormitory entrance. No wonder Seamus had to get rid of us.

Ginny pokes her tongue out at him and dashes over to the girls' side after pecking me one last time on the lips. "Spoilsport," she says, making a face at the other boy and then heads into the dorms.

"God, she's such a vixen," Seamus says, sighing and then laughing as I poke him hard in the ribs. "Ouch! I was kidding, kidding! I wouldn't dare make a move on her, she's all yours. I swear."

"You'd better not, or you'll have me hexing your butt all the way to Hogsmeade. And I promise it'll be fun - for me." I smirk at him and the two of us head inside, laughing and talking together. Seamus is a good guy. Even though his parents might feed him the occasional rumor, setting him against me, he's always come back to my side in the end. Plus he's a good laugh.

As I bid goodnight to all of the boys, with Ron grunting in response, I lie on my four-poster bed and stare at the dark overhang. I wonder what Hermione and Ginny are thinking right now? Hermione's probably pissed off; I don't know where she might have gone after she rushed out. Maybe she went to vent her anger out by docking points off some poor 1st years or something. Nah... she's not like that. Even when she's angry Hermione stays fairly rational and she wouldn't do something as unfair as that. Well yeah, in 3rd year she punched Malfoy in the face after he insulted Hagrid, but that was because he was a right git. And anyway, look at the two now - they're a couple. Not bad for people who practically _Avada Kedavra_'d the ground each other stepped on.

And Ginny. We'd brought up a pretty heavy subject and she seemed to handle it well... but who knew what she really felt inside? She could be quaking in fear about the prospect of doing it. Or she could be eager. OK, it's unlikely she'd be eager OR quaking in fear but which side of the scale does her feelings about it stand? The latter or the former? I hope it's somewhere in the middle. I'm not dying to get it on but it's something we would want to think about.

Unless we break up. Which we hopefully won't.

Ah, this is too much for my brain at this time of night. I take off my glasses, rub my eyes wearily and shift around until I find a comfortable position, and close my eyes.

The next day arrives far too soon. What seemed like only minutes after I fell asleep, Neville is shaking my shoulders and telling me to get up, or I'd be late for my classes. "Harry! Get up! Harry? HARRRRRRRRRRRRY!" The last syllable rings in my ears and still does as I walk dazedly down to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast. Ron comes up by my side a few minutes later, and settles into his usual spot next to me at the Gryffindor table. I glance at him but he doesn't seem to want to say anything other than the mumbled 'Good morning, Harry' he gave me. Turning my gaze, I spot Hermione talking in low voices with Ginny, who keeps casting glares at her older brother and sweet smiles at me. Occasionally she gets confused and glares at me by accident, then wrinkles her nose and starts wolfing down her food. I find this behavior a little weird, but keep it to myself. Ginny has been known for her odd moments, and after being around Hermione so long her odd moments don't really seem that odd.

All throughout the morning Hermione avoided us; Ron for obvious reasons, and me simply because Ron chose to stick with me. Unfortunately this meant I couldn't ask her for tips during the lessons, and more than once Ron cast helpless looks at her but then remembered the situation and sighed to himself. In Charms, Ron failed horribly at the Freezing Charm, and ended up exploding the centipede we were supposed to freeze into an ice cube. Centipede guts flew to all parts of the classroom, but he suffered the most, being right in front of it. It took several creams from Madam Pomfrey to get rid of the acid burns that the guts had caused.

Care of Magical Creatures wasn't much better. It seemed as though today was a centipede-themed day because Hagrid also had a kind of centipede for us to handle. Except, as always with Hagrid, the creatures were a dozen times the size of the ones from Charms and Ron stood to one side behind me, looking fearful in case they exploded in his face again. Hermione didn't even bother to laugh at him. She must be really mad to give up a chance to jeer at Ron, which was something that came straight after 'Bickering with Ron' on her list of hobbies.

Unfortunately it was Double Care of Magical Creatures, and as usual we were with the Slytherins. Hermione spent most of her time with Draco, talking and laughing occasionally. It seemed as though Malfoy was doing a lot of flirting, because her cheeks were always red and her expression always grinning and content. A big change from the stormy banshee (OK, she didn't look as bad as that, but you know what I mean, right?) we were unlucky enough to encounter last night. And part of me even felt thankful to the ferret for cheering her up, because none of us Gryffindors seemed to be able to have done the same, to such an obvious effect.

I sigh. What am I doing? Sticking up for Malfoy instead of my best friend? I must be mad.

"Harry... do you think I should apologize to her?" Ron asked me finally during dinner, albeit in a rather muffled voice through a mouthful of sausage.

I glare at him until he swallows. "What about... YES! And why didn't you think of that earlier, genius? If anything, Hermione's gotten more and more angry throughout the day. I don't expect an apology'll help much at this point but it'll stop her blood pressure from rising anymore at the sight of you."

He flinched. "Ow, that was harsh. But I don't feel too bad about what I did... I mean, I still do like her."

"It's the truth, Ron, and the truth hurts. Accept it. And you know Hermione's not going to give up Draco to be with you. Anyway, even if you two did eventually get together I'd feel left out of the trio." I spear a piece of chicken and jam it in my mouth in a a-best-friend-who-is-annoyed-because-you-won't-apologize-to-our-other-best-friend kind of action. I hold back tears when the heat burns at my tongue and guzzle down the whole cup of pumpkin juice as fast as humanly possible. Which isn't such a wise thing to do because hot plus cold equals sore stomach.

Ron spent the rest of dinner simultaneously stuffing himself full as usual and practising things he could say to Hermione to make her feel better. "'Hermione, your hair looks wonderful today.' No, that would be a lie... Hermione's hair isn't frizzy anymore but it's not exactly sleek either... er... -Swallow- 'Have you gain- no, lost weight?' Nah, too personal... -Gulp- -Swallow- Um... Harry, any helpful suggestions?"

I roll my eyes at him. "You know I wouldn't be any help to you. For this kind of thing you have to consult another girl." He sighs tragically and continued muttering to himself. I grin and pat him on the back. "Good luck, mate." He mutters ominously at me and I start laughing. "See you later! Hopefully by then you'll have made your apologies to Hermione. I don't think I could stand another night of tension between you guys."

"Yeah, you're right about that part," he says, and then I leave. Ginny's already gone and Hermione is now talking somewhat unanimately with Lavender. Those two aren't exactly the most compatible of friends... gee, she must really be pissed if she won't even sit next to me when Ginny's gone. I shake my head sadly and walk towards the common room to get some homework done.

Minutes later, I approach a corner and hear voices. Stopping despite myself, I lean my back against the wall and listen, feeling a little guilty about tuning in on someone else's conversation - most likely a private one, judging by the fact that they weren't attending dinner when the desserts had just barely arrived before I left.

"... go away! I already told you, I have a boyfriend!"

"I don't want to be your boyfriend. I just want to be friends. Hear me out, OK?"

"Oh yeah? Then why are you- Harry!"

I'd heard enough and stepped out to stare at the scene before me. Ginny is enveloped in the hug of some guy with a dark, cropped hair and by the looks of it, she's struggling pretty hard to get away. I'd heard anough from their conversation before revealing my presence that Ginny was innocent, but the boy? He wasn't going to get off lightly from this one. I consider using my wand to hex him, but if Filch heard the noise he'd definitely put me in detention. I'd suffered enough detentions in my past years to not want another one anytime soon. "Ginny, step aside," I snarl and land the first hit on the guy's cheek. He staggers back and Ginny runs up to me to stop me.

"Harry, no! Don't start a fight because of me! It wouldn't be worth it if you ended up in the Hospital Wing," she cries, dragging me back. I gently but firmly throw her off and duck as a punch zooms past the top of my head.

"Who the hell are you?" the boy asks rudely, glaring at me and rubbing his grazed cheek. "You throw a pretty tough punch."

Secretly delighted at the sort-of compliment, I put on a courageous expression. "I'm Harry Potter. Ginny's boyfriend, in case you haven't realized yet."

He smiles. "So you're the boyfriend she keeps going on about! Harry Potter, huh? I know you. Then again, who doesn't?" He narrows his eyes. "I admit you're famous and all, but you're not that great on the eyes."

All my respect for him disappears and my expression turns into a grimace. "OK, I didn't want to pick a fight with a random guy, but you're just asking for it." I headbutt him and ram him to the ground while he's standing there looking surprised, and start kicking him. I don't want to break anything, but I do want a couple of good bruises on him as a memorial. Resisting the urge to stomp on his chest and thus break through his rib cage and squash his internal organs, causing a bloody and gory mess, I settle for continuous kicking until he springs up and twists my foot away - rather fast for someone who just banged his head against the ground and had the wind knocked out of him. He holds on to my foot and looks as though he's prepared to break my ankle before Ginny jumps on his back and sticks her wand into the underside of his arm. He yelps in pain and drops my leg, and I quickly crawl away. Although he hasn't done any lasting damage, he's twisted it more than a foot is supposed to twist and now there's a throbbing pain in my right foot.

"Ha! Take that!" Ginny yells triumphantly, and runs to my side. "Are you alright, Harry? He hasn't broken anything, has he?" I shake my head and am rewarded with a long kiss. Behind her, I see crop-boy making lovey-dovey faces at us, and when he spots me glaring at him he smirks. Instantly I know by that smirk that he is a Slytherin. Probably another Malfoy idolizer.

"I see you two have already gone quite far," he comments when our kiss outlasts 10 seconds. "But I'm guessing you're still holding back in public... boy, you should see Draco Malfoy - even in public he doesn't hold much back when he makes a move on a girl. Amazing confidence, I tell you."

I knew I was right about the idolizing thing. "And I care about Draco Malfoy because...?"

"... because you could learn a thing or two from him about pleasing girls." He winks. "If you know what I mean."

Ginny throws him a dirty look. "Don't be so vulgar, Elliot," she says crisply to him. "God, you're still as... urgh as ever. Get your mind out of the gutter and keep it there!"

He grins at her and blows her a mock kiss. "Whatever, Ginny. Enjoy yourselves. I guess since you're such a perfectly happy couple, I won't try to intervene anymore. But that doesn't mean I'll keep away from her, which is probably what you're hoping for in that cramped little mind of yours."

"Elliot..." she says in a warning voice as she lifts her wand. I do the same and we must have looked very threatening, because he quickly walks away. Laughing at his receding figure, Ginny hugs me and helps me up. "Can you walk? No, wait. I'll support you. By the look on your face, you look like you could pass out any moment."

I laugh weakly. "Well, it didn't start out this painful, but it is now. Sorry for being a burden and not beating him up. It seems like I can't beat anyone up these days. Last time when Blaise snogged you... I wanted to rip his lips off his face and burn them in a lamp, but I just didn't have the guts to go up and challenge him one on one. And now... Even Hermione's doing better than me when it comes to violence."

"Hahaha! But then again, Hermione's always being an overly violent person, hasn't she?" Ginny says, giggling. "So it's no big deal if she's more violently active than you. And anyway, you didn't lose this time - Davidson gave up the fight himself."

"Only because you tuned in to your inner warrior spirit and jabbed him," I smile. "Though you really should have aimed for somewhere that would... hurt more. But I understand. After all, if you did your wand would be kinda tainted right now."

Ginny grins at me, props my arm around her shoulders and the two of us make our way back to the Gryffindor common room, with me hobbling like an old man without his walking cane and her supporting me.

Ahhh... even if I suffered a painful twist of my foot, it was still worth it if it meant I was getting a chance to put my arm around my girlfriend without seeming sappy and over-possessive. Add on the fact that I hate acting affectionately in public, and this opportunity almost seems golden to me.

I still hate you though, Elliot Davidson. And I'm pretty certain I always will.

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This chapter, apart from featuring hardly any D/Hr, seems a little shorter than usual... or maybe it's just me. Ah well, this is what happens when I multi-fic and try to update both fics normally at the same time. X.x Forgive me! I promise next chapter will feature lots of Hermione/Draco and will be longer. I swear. -Runs away screaming from the legions of people throwing things at her- I PROMISSSSSSEE!


	36. Chapter 36: Draco

Ack, multy-ficcing is a lot harder than I'd initially thought... x.x Good thing its the holidays, otherwise I'd probably never get this done in time before you guys start throwing random unhygienic objects at me. XD Too bad there's only one more week to go before school starts... T.T And with school naturally comes homework, meaning I'll have even less time than I do now to write my fics.

Most likely I'll put S U R V I V O R on the backbench for a little while, because it needs reference anyway and you guys are probably used to me hardly ever updating that. Sweet and Sour will continue, mostly because I have the next couple of chapters typed out, which should last me until the next break, during which I will be writing like crazy. And of course, all this leaves more time for my main fanfiction...

& so here is...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 36

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DRACO

It's a beautiful day today.

The birds are singing their hearts out; the cicadas are chirping from their many hiding spots and the sky is completely blue. Not a trace of cloud can be seen for miles on end, and the sun shines down from directly above us.

All in all, it's basically another boring day, and it hasn't been made any better by another boring lesson that I am currently suffering through. I sigh and flick a ball of parchment at the back of Blaise's head.

He spins around almost immediately and I try my best to keep my face straight, nearly losing control of my expression when he glances around wildly like an idiot. Professor McGonagall notices his frantic movements and fixes her glare on him. "Mr Zabini! Stop wriggling in your seat and pay attention," she barks at him. He quickly turns back and gives her a sugar-coated smile. When she faces the other way he does the finger to her back. A second later a small paperweight flies into his face, which makes Blaise yelp in pain and fling it away.

The offending paperweight then soars, as if in slow motion, towards the rest of the class. It bounces off the heads of Pansy, Goyle and a couple of others. Immediately shrieks of pain (from Pansy, of course) and grunts of protest (from Goyle) fill the room. McGonagall looks up, realizing quickly that using a solid object to punish a student isn't exactly the best idea due to the fact that it can be thrown around - especially a paperweight with a bouncing charm on it.

Suddenly, the shrieks get much louder. I look around and see a huge rat running around squeaking at the heels of all the girls. Some idiot must have transfigured it as a joke. Soon girls are screaming their heads off and jumping around, clinging to each other and wimpering. The boys try to snatch the creature, resulting in several heads being bumped on the edge of desks and even one guy who gets knocked out cold. Only a few of us are still sitting calmly at our desks, including me. I stifle a yawn as the Professor shouts loudly for everyone to get back to their seats, and for the silly person who transfigured it to own up. Obviously no one did, and I snicker as I watch the havoc that resulted from just one little bit of parchment.

By the end of the period, none of us had learned enough about the spell _Opaludum_ - which confused the victim - to put into an essay. It also seemed as though the look McGonagall sent me when she announced our homework was more venomous than the one she gave everyone else. Or it might have just been my imagination. _Well, not that it matters much,_ I muse as I head towards the common room. _She already dislikes me enough as it is. One more little incident won't make a difference. _I say the password and head inside, sprinting to my dormitory as fast as I can and dumping my Transfiguration books on my desk. Then I run back out and crash right into someone with long brown hair.

_Hermione, _I think and quickly grab her to help her up. "Sorry, Her- oh."

The girl standing in front of me blushes and lowers her eyes. "U-u-um... sorry! I'm really sorry!"

"It's OK," I mutter, picking up my books. Now that I look at her, she looks nothing like Hermione except for the hair. How could I have mistaken her? Or maybe I was just thinking about her too much. Lately we hadn't been able to go out very much, and she seems to be spending a lot of time with Weasley - probably patching up their friendship from the last time she was angry at him. But still... it would be good if we could get together more often. I sigh. It was startling and a little scary how she was infiltrating my thoughts all day, every day. Sure, there had been plenty of pretty girls that'd had me hooked at the beginning, but none that had lasted long. Certainly not this long.

During Potions, Snape gives us a surprisingly simple tough concoction to make. I squint at the board and sigh when I read the instructions: '_Put in sliced leeches and stir precisely 67 degrees counter-clockwise, then 549 degrees clockwise'. _What the fuck? I estimate 65 degrees and stir, hoping it would be close enough. By the muttered protests from the people around me, I wasn't the only one having trouble. Snape glides over to me. "A little more clockwise, Draco," he says through the corner of his mouth so that only I could hear. I smirk and thank him by inclining my head in a neck-only bow, and do as he says.

At the end of the lesson, only my potion had the right consistency and the color was close to the lime green that was said on the board. Goyle's had turned horribly pink and spat out sparks whenever it was moved, while Millicent Bulstrode's had set like cement in her cauldron. When Snape sees my potion, the corner of his mouth curls up and he mutters something about 'being around Granger' and 'increase intelligence'. I pretend to ignore him and stalk out, nevertheless amused by his comment.

Snape's still as mean as ever towards Hermione, but he seems to think that she has a positive influence on me. I smirk at the thought. So what am I doing? Influencing her negatively with my charm and dropping her IQ by taking up so much of her study time with snogging? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that was really the case...

As I pass a gaggle of 6th years, I unwittingly catch snippets of their conversation:

_"... heard something about Hermione Granger... Weasley doing some kind of dare... turned pretty ugly..."_

_"... really?"_

_"... yeah, he, like, snogged her or something..."_

_"... my God! Teeheehee... that's so romantic! Taking advantage of a dare like that..."_

_"... likes her or something, otherwise he wouldn't do that - I mean, they're best friends! Come on..."_

_"... true, but I can't _believe_ he was dumb enough to do it in front of everyone..."_

Something screeches in my brain and I resist the urge to turn back and interrogate the girls for more information. What was going on? Hermione and Ron? Was this true? The urge to go back and threaten the girls for more info grew stronger and I nearly stopped, but I calmed myself down and thought about things logically.

Anyway, I'd heard enough. It was plenty for me to know what was going on with those two.

I can't believe she would do that kind of thing, though. Hermione never struck me as a cheating type... which means it must have been Ron who made the move, not her. The thought made my blood boil and I started to imagine all sorts of ways that I could murder him. Skin him alive, piece by piece? Making him drink a ton of water and then forcing him on a see-saw until the water moving inside his gut made him explode? Dunk him in hot oil, then cold water, and then hot oil again?

By the time I reach the Slytherin common room I have thought up 257 ways to make him die horribly. Some were similar to each other but all of them were satisfying, even to fantasize. Occasionally I would get carried away and bang the table or make a peeling motion along with sound effects, which earned scared looks from the people around me. By the time I stopped myself the room had become a lot less populated from when I came in.

All through my afternoon lessons I feel like some kind of bird in a cage. I want to smash up Weasley yet I can't exactly just walk casually out of my class and into his class, beat him up and then stroll calmly back to my classroom. I mean, how would I explain my bloody knuckles and the small sprays of blood on my clothes? In the end, the only satisfying lesson is Histroy of Magic, where I take out my parchment and quill, and instead of writing down notes (which pretty much nobody bothered to do anyway) I draw some gory cartoons depicting me holding various sharp objects and poking Weasley with them. Of course, I end up being sent outside for disturbing the class with my evil, maniacal laughter.

At dinner, Pansy plagues me in her usual annoying manner, although oddly tonight she seems a bit more intent on arguing with Blaise than cooing over me. Not that I'm complaining, but it's just weird. Normally Pansy and Blaise get along pretty well, but at the moment they look more like a couple who have been married far too long than good friends.

I really wonder what they're arguing about. But they're turned away from me and the noise of the other people clacking their cutlery on their dishes drown most of the conversation out. "Shut up! Stop banging the plates!" I yell at one point. The thought of Hermione and that Weasel kissing are filling up my head, making me even more unable to stand the noise than usual. Everyone around me looks frightened and immediately stop their clacking. "Thank you," I mutter, and spoon some mashed potato into my mouth.

I decide eventually that rumors were just rumors. I wouldn't assume anything or do anything to anyone until I got solid evidence that something was indeed up between those two. _I should have spent more time with her_, I think regretfully. Since Weasley's always at her side, maybe she felt lonely and took comfort in him... or whatever.

I shake my head firmly. My imagination was starting to run wild all over again.

That night, I opt for an earlier bedtime rather than try to finish my homework. My heart just wasn't in it. I could scribble some rubbish and hand it in to the professors, but it would probably get me an F. I never did develop much of a talent for speed-writing essays.

After about 5 minutes of tossing and turning, I get up and take a drink from the pitcher at my bedside.

Another 5 minutes later, I try lying on my stomach and smothering myself in my pillow. It proved to be rather uncomfortable.

Yet another 5 minutes later, I can't stand the insomnia anymore and decide to go out for a walk. Maybe it would tire me into falling asleep when I got back.

Now, where is the most tiresome place I can go to around here?

Instant answer: Astronomy Tower.

From my knowledge and experience, the stairs are bound to make me dog-tired as soon as I get up to the top; walking down again will be just a guarantee that I would start snoring as soon as I crawled to my bed. Not that I snored, of course. Malfoys don't snore unless they are forced to, due to the fact that everyone in the family gets their tonsils removed quite early in their life. Snoring is for uncivilised brats like... oh, say... Weasley?

I navigate my way to the tower, avoiding the ghosts and trying not to alert Filch or Peeves (who would bring Filch, which basically means the two options are the same). It was harder than it seemed, because the ghosts kept popping out of walls from right in front of me. It took a lot of self-control - possibly more than I had exerted in a looooong time - to not yell out in shock and surprise, especially when they dove right through you.

The climb was horrible, as expected. By the time I got to the top I was wheezing. I'd never really ascended all 1379 steps of the tower in one go, and I wasn't used to this much stair-climbing. I walked at a snail's pace and sat down on the telescope platform, leaning against the telescope stand while huffing and puffing.

I feel like going to sleep already.

After half an hour of dozing out here in the open, the cold evening breeze starts to get to me and I shiver. "Better get back," I mumble to myself, yawning and rubbing my arms to keep warm. The moment I stand up, I hear footsteps from behind me. I freeze. Could Filch have climbed all the way up here to catch me? No, I doubt it; Filch isn't exactly the fittest person in the castle, and it isn't likely that he can make it up this far without collapsing.

But there is a chance that he saw me go up somehow and is waiting at the bottom for me to come back down. I turn pale. Suddenly coming up to the tower doesn't seem like such a novel idea after all. I bite my lip and kick the telescope stand.

"Whoa, calm down," someone says in an amused voice behind me. I whirl around and see Hermione standing there with her hands on her hips, a grin on her face. I look closer and notice that the grin doesn't seem quite natural. "What a coincidence. Great minds think alike, don't they?" She notices me staring. "What are you looking at?" she asks playfully, leaning down to tweak my nose affectionately and plant a warm kiss on my lips.

I shake my head as she sits down. "It's nothing. You just look a little stressed, that's all."

Her mask slips a little and I see a sad look fleetingly cross her features. Instinctively I put my arm around her and she leans towards me, sighing. "You're more perceptive than ever, Draco. But it's nothing big, just a little something I have to settle with a certain someone." She spits out the word venomously, and I am taken aback. If I was right in guessing who it is that she's going to settle things with, I would definitely not expect her tone to be like so.

"Is it one of your friends?" I ask innocently. Her head turns sharply, confirming my thoughts. "Ah, I guessed as much. Who's bothering you, Hermione? Tell me. I'll settle things for you with Mr Fist here." I wave my hand in front of her face and she giggles.

"I don't really think I want you to help me, in that case," she says, grinning. "I'd rather they not end up in the Hospital Wing with several broken limbs. I know how you can get carried away with you get into scuffles, Draco."

I poke my tongue out at her. "Guilty as charged." She laughs but doesn't say anything. I make a lightning-fast decision and decide to ask her about those rumors I heard. It's going to be hard to confront her, but I'm not used to feelings of betrayal and it's getting hard to keep a lid on my emotions. Before, it was always me who occasionally cheated on my girlfriend but I had never had the same done to me. It wasn't something I was proud of but I always took it in my stride and never really looked back on it.

God, how had things become so twisted all of a sudden?

"Hermione," I began cautiously.

She turned her brown eyes towards me. "Yes?"

I rub my temples slowly. "OK, I'm just going to say this. Lately I've heard rumors about something going on between you and Weasley. Apparently it was during some kind of game. I don't want to sound like I'm smothering your social life but..." I sigh. "Someone kissing you is just overstepping the line."

Judging by the paleness of her complexion, I've probably hit the mark. So the rumors are true then. An unpleasant feeling settles and makes itself at home in my gut, and a small wave of anger washes over me. "I-I... Draco, I have to explain this to you. It was nothing, just a mistake. I'm sure Ron didn't mean it."

_Yeah right_, I think sarcastically. Weasley had made his feelings clear more than once, but Hermione had never really took notice or just didn't see him that way. It was obvious her feelings for him were platonic because she made the decision to go out with me. It wasn't like I blackmailed her or forced her in any way. And yet, that fucking idiot still doesn't see what's right in front of him and give up his crush on her. I mean, she even agreed to go out with me in front of his stupid face. What would it take for him to realize that Hermione doesn't like him?

She belongs to me. And he is certainly not taking her away.

I stare at her. She fidgets and her face is pink. "W-well... OK, it started with Lavender. She invited me to play some game where someone dares random people in the group to do something. In one of the dares it happened to involve Ron and me, and things started to get a bit hectic..." I raise an eyebrow and motion for her to go on. She does so reluctantly. "And he... um, well... I suppose I have to admit he did kiss me. But I'm sure he... he didn't mean to. After all, the dare was for him to transfer a sweet to me by mouth. It's a little hard to avoid lip contact in that kind of situation."

Jealousy rears its ugly head inside my mind. I wave it away, wanting to stay rational for at least a few more moments. "But why did you accept the dare if you knew what it involved? Couldn't you have backed out or something?" I know I am questioning her into a corner, but I can't help it. I have to know the details, or I might go mad.

"Draco... I was caught up in the game. It didn't occur to me that I should back out, or even that I could back out. All I thought about was keeping up the fun for everyone else." She lowers her head, but not before I see tears glinting on her face. "I'm sorry, Draco. It's all my fault."

I grab her chin and force her to look at me. "It's not your fault. It's Weasley's. I don't care what you think, but I'm going to make his life a living hell until he begs forgiveness. It's what he deserves, the bastard." Cupping her face in my hands, I kiss her deeply but she doesn't respond.

Her eyes are wide and she jerks away from me. "Draco! You're not going to hurt one of my best friends, no matter what he's done! OK, he's done some pretty weird stuff and I know that in your eyes they're infuriating, but I won't allow you to do anything to him. You two have already fought enough in the past years to last a lifetime. And that's only the fights that I witnessed." She turns her best glare on full-force, and starts to stand up.

I tug on her wrist and pull her back down, pushing her against the cold, stone ground of the tower stand. I see a trace of fear in her eyes, but there's also an unmistakeable look of anticipation mingled with surprise in there. "Hermione. You're not going anywhere until I'm done with you," I hiss. My hands slowly unbutton my own shirt and I take it off, seeing the look of shock and sudden realization on her face.

"No! Draco, I order you to let me go this instant!" she yells, flailing her arms and trying to kick me off her. I pin her wrists to the ground and look right into her frightened eyes. "I'm not that kind of girl," she breathes, fixing me with another glare. "I'm not going to do anything here with you. So you might as well give up now."

Shaking my head, I peck her on the eyelid and smile down at her. "I'm not going to do that," I say. Then I sigh. "It's been hard on you, with all that trouble between you and Ron. I know I've caused you a lot of stress, especially between your friends. And I'm sorry for that." She looks surprised, and her eyes rapidly lose their frightened edge. "I've been a bad boyfriend, maybe. I haven't taken you out every possible moment and I haven't spent all my free time with you. I spend time with other girls - just kidding!" I chuckle, seeing the indignant and shocked look on her face - "But I've done what I can. I'm not a natural 'perfect' boyfriend. We've probably spent more time snogging when we're together than anything else... however," I pause for dramatic effect, grinning at the expectant look on her face. "I do genuinely care about you."

"Draco..." she says softly, putting her arms around my neck and pulling me close. "I'm really, honestly happy about what you said and I'm not going to see it as a 'I want to do the magic 3-letter word beginning with s' speech." She smiles. "But I guess this is what it's going to become, isn't it?"

I smirk. "As usual, you're perfectly right." I lean down and kiss her all over her face, pausing only to stop at certain places to lick her skin. Slowly and gently I move my mouth down from her chin to her neck, and eventually to her collarbone. Her top soon becomes an obstacle and I lift my hands from where they had imprisoned her wrists. As my fingers move to undo her buttons, I lean down and whisper in her ear,

"I'm going to make every single inch of you forget that bloody Weasel. I promise."

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I do not write sex scenes, so you'll have to make do with this. :D

This chapter wasn't that long, but I hope you enjoyed it. I wanted you readers to actually read an update rather than have me think up more things to make the scrollbar smaller. Ehehehe...


	37. Chapter 37: Hermione

Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait! Urk... I can't believe I haven't updated for 2 months and a half... I had half of the chapter done about a month ago but then I got writer's block for the rest. T.T Anyway, enjoy this chapter! I'm already starting to plan the end of the story, so that'll be coming up soon. Quite soon, I believe. I really don't think I should carry on for much longer, anyway... there IS a limit to how many chapters I should have for this story. -.-

PS: Thanks so much to my wonderful readers/reviewers! Your reviews have helped me greatly in getting off my lazy butt and writing... -Hugs tightly-

& whoop dee doo...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 37

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HERMIONE

I didn't really expect Draco and my encounter last night to go as it did. I thought it would just be a light talk, some laughs and off we go to bed. And when I say bed, I mean the ones in our dormitory, not the verb.

Not that I'm complaining about what happened or anything.

But I do suppose it took my mind permanently off Ron. The experience made me remember why we started falling for each other in the first place; and why I rejected Ron in favor of Draco. Sure, sure, Ron was one of my best friends and I've known him for ages, and feel completely at ease around him. However, Draco was different - his presence made me feel an edge that I'd never known before. And I love it.

Opening my eyes, I look up into the grey sky tinted with pink. I am surprised to find that it is only dawn. I feel like I've been sleeping forever. But then again, it was good that we hadn't stayed that long; otherwise, the next student who came by would have a nasty shock. I turn my head slightly and look at the boy lying next to me. He had his robes over him like a blanket, and as I watched he drew them up to his chin and continued to sleep.

As much as I would have liked to stay like this, my arm was starting to go numb from being squashed underneath my head and I was pinned by the arm Draco had slung over my waist. "Draaaaacooo-poo," I coo softly, grinning.

"Urgh... Pansy, go away..." he mumbles in his sleep, lifting his hand from me to swat an imaginary fangirl away. I sit up and start to get dressed, but soon I feel Draco's eyes on my back.

"Morning," I say, without turning around.

"Mmmhmm. Hello. You're up bright and early, aren't you?"

I lie back down, fully clothed. "Well, I don't really want to be caught out here. People would hound us to no end if someone saw us." I pull a face. "Not that I care what they think, but I really don't want a train of girls trailing after me and giving me evil glares every half a second."

He laughs, and pats my head. "Don't worry, I'll chase them away."

"Yeah, right," I say. "Actually, that might work, because then they'll all cling to you instead." I laugh as he makes a choking noise.

The next few minutes are spent in companiable silence, and I mull things over in my head. My watch says that we have another hour or so before the earliest risers start going into the Great Hall for breakfast. Which means that if we want to get back to the dorms without being seen, we should leave as soon as possible. I lift my arm and reach for the telescope stand above me, and pull myself up. Draco watches me, raising an eyebrow. "Leaving already?"

I nod. "We've only got about half an hour to get back. And who knows how early Filch starts roaming the school? Better not chance it."

He sighs. "Alright, alright... I still feel tired though. Last night took a lot out of me." He smirks at the blush crawling up my neck. If only there was a hard object that I could throw right now... he would definitely be on the receiving end of the throw.

Just as he yawns and starts to prop himself up, I remember the plan I had thought up some time before. I smile, imagining the shock that would be on his face. "By the way, Draco," I say, and he looks up at me questioningly. "I love you!"

The look on his face is priceless. I try to stifle my giggles unsuccessfully. He opens his mouth. "What did y- ARGH!"

There is a loud thumping noise, and he suddenly falls backwards, his eyes rolling back. I stare at him. Blood seeps out from his forehead and slides down his face. My eyes travel slowly to the very tough-looking telescope stand directly over his head and realization dawns upon me. "Oh my God... Draco!"

Several moments later, after I had towed Draco down the steps, I successfully manage to find Professor McGonagall in her office, marking some of our essays from a few days ago. I hesitate, not wanting to disturb her in fear that we wouldn't get our results back ASAP, but the thought of Draco lying there, bleeding, overrules every instinct and I burst through the door, screeching for help. "Miss Granger! Please, calm down and explain what happened!" she barks at me, covering her ears. I take a few deep breaths and babble out my story, tears welling in my eyes.

The walk to the bottom of the Astronomy Tower steps seems to take an eternity. Professor McGonagall strides forward agonizingly slowly, and I almost want to scream at her to hurry up. But then again, she is old enough to be my grandmother, so I contain my nerves and keep up the slow pace. However, it takes every bit of self-control I can muster to refrain from losing my temper when she stops to chat with several staff members about NEWT exams, the weather and whatnot.

We arrive at the bottom of the steps. I do my best to stop blubbering at the sight of Draco's seemingly lifeless body, but a few tears escape and dance their way down my face. "There he is... oh my- Miss Granger, what happened here?" Professor McGonagall rushes over and checks his pulse. Satisfied that he is still alive and not so well, she conjures up a stretcher.

At that moment, Professor Flitwick, with whom she was conversing with a few minutes ago, walks by and sees us. He stops and runs over as fast as his little legs can. "Goodness, Minerva - what's wrong with the boy? He's bleeding!"

I resist the urge to snap back 'that's obvious' and look away. "Miss Granger, he'll be fine," Professor McGonagall says soothingly to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. Then she lifts the stretcher a little higher and walks away with it floating behind her like a ghost.

The day passes like a blur. All throughout the day people tell me that I look either stoned, stupified or dazed. I don't know which is the most flattering but none of them really appeal to me. Still, I can't stop thinking about what had happened; and how the one plan I had made up to not kill him had done possibly the most damage to Draco, out of all my plans so far. _That's irony for you,_ I think wryly.

"Granger, kindly stop slobbering over your desk," snarls Snape at Potions when he catches me while I'm thinking. I give him an indignant look and continue on, but it doesn't take long for me to fall into a stupor again.

"Miss Granger!" squeaks Professor Flitwick during Charms. "Please, pay attention! This is a very complex charm, and unless you watch carefully not even you might be able to get it right!" I nod with a blank smile and stare at his hands as they flutter around, hypnotized.

"Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall tells me after Transfiguration while everyone is leaving. I signal to Ginny, who's closest, that I'll be a while and that I'd meet them in the Great Hall for lunch, then turn back to the Professor. "I noticed that you didn't seem to be paying much attention during my class today. I know what happened this morning was rather... a shock to you, but you mustn't let it influence your academic work. I assure you that Mr Malfoy will be perfectly fine. He only suffered a very minor concussion, and although he will most likely be unconscious for a few days, there is nothing to worry about. Madam Pomfrey has already healed the cut on his forehead, and now all you need to do is to carry on like before, because he will be fine and dandy in just a few days."

I smile genuinely at her, gratified for her news update. She gives me a rare lift of the corner of her lips, but then frowns.

"Mind you... what on Earth were you two doing up the Astronomy Tower that late up anyway? Did you stay late for Astronomy class, or did you just doze off during it?" She gives me what appears to be an awkward kind of motherly smile. It is obviously something that she isn't very practised at.

Uh oh. I had known for a while that this would be coming, so I quickly whip out my best innocent smile that I had been perfecting all day. "Oh, we were staying late to watch the... uh, beautiful planet Venus as it made its way across the brilliant, black night sky."

Professor McGonagall looks at me a little strangely, but seems to accept my explanation. However, I notice her opening her mouth to possibly interrogate me more, so I mutter something about checking on my lovely house-elf friends and hurry out the door before she can say a thing. Phew. The more she questions me, the more suspicious the situation will seem; although I don't mind if news spreads about me and Draco, it wouldn't be pleasant if it came from Professor McGonagall, of all people. Snape would probably hate me more than ever for somehow 'manipulating his favorite little boy onto the Gryffindor side', and people would think I blabbed because even the teachers know.

It would probably be better if I just avoided any questions for now, until we go public with our new relationship status. I'd rather people find out from us than hear that we spent a night together on the Astronomy Tower, which is rather famous for being a good rendezvous spot for couples. If word leaked out... then there would be no doubt what we had been up to, and it certainly wouldn't be about us tracking Venus all night.

I trudge into the Great Hall and find my friends. Ginny raises her goblet at me when she sees me, and Harry turns around. Ron kind of peers sideways and then shifts his eyes back. I roll my eyes. I don't really find myself pondering over that kiss anymore. I know who I'm in love with now, and unfortunately, it's not Ron.

And I doubt he really 'love loves' me anyway. The way he looks at me isn't quite the same as the way he looked at Fleur or Lavender. Although he wasn't really in love with either of them, he was probably struck momentarily by Cupid and it was enough to tell me about his lovestruck behavior as compared to the way he acts towards me. I suppose the fact that I'm his best friend also changes things. You can't really just pop up one day and say you're in love love with your best friend instead of the friendly love before. Of course, I have no doubt that he does have at least crush on me (he's pretty much told me as much), but I have a hunch that it's like I'm someone... safe that he can easily confess to, rather than someone he likes but doesn't know very well.

Meaning that I'll have to break this stupid tension once and for all. Now, the question was when I would be able to do that. Lately Ron and I hardly ever spend time together alone. Whenever it seems like we will, he'll suddenly rush off or call someone to join us. It's annoying, but I guess I know how he feels so I don't blame him.

Suddenly, a simple option dawns on me. Prefect duties! We're usually scheduled to patrol together every 4th duty night (so we get a chance to work with Prefects from all the other houses equally), and the last time I went on patrol I was with a Ravenclaw girl. Now there was just Ernie left to do duties with, and then it would be Ron again.

Feeling determined and satisfied that I had finally come up with something, I start chomping down all the food on my plate ravenously, earning very scared looks from nearby first-years, some of which following my example and piling up their own plates.

The next few days seem to pass agonizingly slowly. I have an outline of how our conversation would go like;

Me: Ron! Stop your ridiculous behavior this instant!

Ron: Oh I'm so sorry, Hermione! Please forgive me! I think you and Draco make a fabulous couple so I'll just go back to being my old self. -Grovels-

Me: Hmph, that's better.

There would probably be a few deviations from my plan, but I guess that's how I want it to go. Except maybe the grovelling part, but that would be an added bonus. Sighing, I check my watch for the umpteenth time. Amazingly enough, I was actually wishing class would go by a bit faster. The seconds seemed to drag by and the room was hot and stuffy and making my head hurt. It was impressive enough that I was still conscious, let alone feeling eager like I usually was.

Finally, the bell rang and I sped out of the class, my books already packed into my bag. It feels like I'm carrying a few dozen bricks in my bag, and I curse the manufacturers for not charming the books to make them lighter. I'm pretty sure this is the reason why so many witches end up as hunchbacked, wizened crones that give the witches in Muggle fairytales their alleged appearances. It's actually rather accurate, but I still shudder whenever I imagine myself being like that in a few dozen years. I quickly shift my bag over to the other shoulder, trying to give both shoulders an equal amount of time carrying the bag.

Once I get back to the common room, I pore out all my homework on the table I always occupy, and start writing. However, as soon as I write my first sentence on my Potions essay I know that I won't be very productive tonight. And since none of this is due tomorrow... for once, I, Hermione Granger, the Girl-Who-Always-Does-Her-Homework-On-The-Same-Day-She-Gets-It is putting off homework for a night. Meaning I might be a little overwhelmed tomorrow, but that can't be helped.

Prefect duties start at 8:45pm tonight. The extra 15 minutes before curfew is so we can have time to get organized and talk to Professor McGonagall about details for tonight's duties without staying later in her office than 9pm. I personally wouldn't mind if someone was running off to their common rooms at 9:00:01pm, but it seems Filch does care. And with that annoying cat of his keeping an eye on us, we have to do as we are told. Even if it means giving detentions to first years who get lost trying to get back to the common room in time and end up crying for help from some remote broom cupboard several floors away.

Quite tragic, I must say.

About half an hour of lazing around the fireplace later, Ron finally comes down from the boys' dormitory and quietly mutter something about leaving. "What's that you said?" I ask loudly, and grin when he fixes a familiar indignant glare at me. "Loosen up a bit, Ron," I say as we head towards Professor McGonagall's office, with him powerwalking in front and me struggling to keep up. "And slow down, for goodness sakes! What do you think I am, a marathon runner?"

He grudgingly abides and slows down a fraction, which really doesn't help. But at least he responded.

I'm getting there.

Inside the office, the Professor's voice seems rather odd to me tonight. "Blah," she says. "Blah blah blah. Blah? Blah!" And so it goes on. Soon I lose interest and nod at regular intervals, an art that is harder than it seems. My mind wanders to something more important.

Like why the hell Ron kissed me anyway. It's annoying having to think about it so often, but I really do want answers. I'm quite sure it wasn't an accident, because accident kisses don't last more than a second and his was more like 10 seconds.

After a few moments, Professor McGonagall releases us from the office. From the irritated look on her face, it seemed I wasn't the only one who tuned out. As I turn towards Ron I notice him giving himself a little shake of the head, and then he smiles blandly at the teacher. She sighs, and closes the door behind us.

"Well, Ron," I say once we are out of earshot of her office. "I'm sure you know what I'm going to pester you about all night tonight."

"Jeez, I wonder what it is," he says sarcastically. Surprisingly enough, he doesn't wither from my venomous glare, and I suppose he's been thinking about it too. "Storytime for you, I guess," he sighs after a moment of silence.

I pretend to cheer. "Whoop-dee-doo," I say, a part of me actually slightly excited about the fact that he was finally opening up. "Spill."

"Firstly," he starts. "I'm really sorry for that... er, incident. I wasn't thinking. Really. The opportunity was just too easy for me to take. It was halfway between instinct and want, I suppose. I kinda wanted to kiss you even though you were going out with someone else and had blatantly rejected me." He sighs again. "But..."

"But?" I prompt as he stops for a while, apparently thinking of a good way of wording his thoughts.

"But I didn't feel that it was too special. It wasn't like the fireworks-inside-my-head thing I was expecting. It was kind of like kissing Lavender. And that really wasn't very exciting, even if it looked very graphic." I pretend to gag and he glares at me, but I can feel the tension between us lifting slowly with every word he spoke. "And anyone else would probably think, well if Hermione's already rejected you there's no point making it worse by trying to win her by force, is there? Like I said, I wasn't really trying to force you. It was more of an experiment; if it turned out well, I'd continue pursuing you. If it didn't - which was pretty much what happened - I would stop. Though either way, the rumors would spread and... well, it'd get messy for a while."

I mull this over. It's not often Ron speaks so maturely - I'm used to him being an idiot - but when he does, it's usually surprisingly mature for someone his age.

So I suppose there is a brain under that thick skull of his, after all.

"But why did you do it in public then?" I ask, even though I remember what he said about 'opportunity'. But surely there were other chances? With less onlookers? I nearly walk into a wall and quickly change directions, ignoring the snigger coming from behind me.

"Well, if I suddenly kissed you in private you'd probably think I was turning into a rapist or something." He makes a face. "Which isn't how I want one of my best friends to think of me as."

I start to laugh. "You? Rapist? Don't kid me," I chuckle. "But then again, who knows what could happen to a guy who's as girl-deprived as you?"

He starts turning red. "Girl-deprived? What are you on about? I've had... um, plenty of girlfriends! Lavender, for instance! Look where we got to. Snogging in public. Pretty impressive, huh?"

"Not really," I say loftily. "And it seems Lavender's the only girl you've managed to go anywhere with. I don't even think you two were having a relationship other than a physical one. And that was apparently just to make me jealous. Not that it worked, of course."

"Oi!" he yells, obviously embarrassed about his lack of romantic experience. "What's wrong with not getting a girlfriend at 16? There's plenty of guys like me who just want to study at school, instead of thinking about girls all day."

This coaxes a hysterical fit of giggles from me. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all day," I gasp between my laughter, clutching my belly. "That's about as likely as Snape being fond of Harry!" Another spurt of laughter makes me stop to breathe in and out deeply.

Ron stops too and a weird shudder passes through him. "Urgh. Snape, being fond of Harry? That is disgusting, Hermione. Absolutely disgusting. Almost as gross as how Pansy drools all over me." He suddenly brightens. "Oh yeah! Pansy! She's shown quite a legitimate interest in me, too. I'm sure you've seen her cooing at me before."

The thought of Pansy reminds me of the time when I heard about Blaise hitting on Ron. I immediately stop laughing and assume a very sombre expression. "Well... Slytherins are all well and good, but do try to keep your love interests... female." Then I realize how homophobic I sound. "I mean- But I mean if you swing the other way, that's completely fine! I don't mind! I accept you for who you are, Ron, no matter what your preference. You're still my best friend."

He looks befuddled. "What are you babbling about, Hermione? What's this about me swinging the other way?"

"Um... er... nothing," I say quickly. "Nothing at all. Just telling you that if you... oh, never mind. I can't say this properly without sounding accusing."

"What?" His expression changes from bemusement to outright confusion. "Are you saying Pansy's not really interested in me?"

I hardly ever appreciate Ron's simple-mindedness, but this is one of the times. If he had realized that I had practically called him gay, then I doubt he'd be very happy about it. And I know Ron's definitely not gay. I don't know how I had even suggested it.

Oh God, my mind is such a mess today. I'm better off not thinking about it and just being thankful of the fact that we're back to normal again. But just to make sure...

"Ron," I begin. "From now on, you won't be doing anything rash and completely stupid like that 'trial' kiss. At least talk things out with me first. Even if you know I won't consent, I'd still like to be aware of what you're thinking. And I'm very flattered that you like me, but I'm gonna have to tell you that I'm not interested. Not now, not ever. You're too good a friend to turn into a boyfriend. Speaking of boyfriends, I already have one and we're happy together."

He looks sheepish. "OK, sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. And I get what you're saying." He frowns. "By the way, how're things going between you and Draco? Broken up yet? Has he abused you at all? If he has, I'm definitely going to kick his ass so hard that it'll be numb for the rest of his life."

That last part brings up some rather amusing mental images, but other than that I have no intention of telling him how far we've gone. "Um, nope. We're still together. He hasn't abused me, I promise. If he does I'll be the one to introduce his ass to my boots first."

"Hah, that's probably true," he laughs. "So how is it, going out with your worst enemy?"

I don't even pause to think. "Excellent," I say with a smirk. Of course, he won't know exactly how excellent it is. And I have no plan to tell him, either. Hehehe.

Gosh, I sound like such a lunatic.

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ZOMG! I'm finished! -Dances gleefully- Good thing I got this done before my class trip/camp, or it'd be another week before I got this posted. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed it! Holidays are in a week so I'll be writing more then.

Toodles! -Blows kiss-


	38. Chapter 38: Ginny

I'm trying to update this more (not much more, you might say) to make up for the lack of updates for S U R V I V O R. There is a reason why updates for the aforementioned fic is so unoften (is that even a word?), and I think I've probably mentioned this before.

I'm basing S U R V I V O R on a book which I don't own a copy of. Therefore, I have to take it out of the library every time I want to write the next chapter. Obviously, the book isn't just going to be sitting there waiting for me to pick it up, so I usually have to wait for the person who has it to return it to the library so I can take it out. All this means there's a delay of at least 1-2 weeks from when I feel like writing, to when I really start writing. That, plus the fact that I have 2 other fics to maintain, a lot of homework and exams, and writer's block adds up to long overdue updates.

I'm really sorry to blabber on about my woes, but I just thought you might like to know if you're sitting there wondering what the hell I'm doing taking so long to update S U R V I V O R (and I must admit it's been a while).

& here ya go...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 38

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GINNY

Well, I'm glad to see that Hermione and Ron have finally made up once and for all. Ron's constant whining and complaining was starting to really annoy me. I mean, really. There's only so much that a little sister can endure before she goes nuts. Good thing I escaped before I reached my limit. Otherwise more than one person would be hurt by the outburst that'd follow.

And no, I'm not a violent, chainsaw-wielding maniac when I get mad. I just... get a little unreined. But it's still not a good idea to test exactly how unreined I get.

"Ginnnnyyyyyyyy," Georgina coos in my ear. "Look which stalker's here!"

I spin around at her words. Sure enough, I spot the familiar cropped head of none other than Elliot. He seems to be looking around for someone. And I might just know who. "Ack," I manage to say, before elbowing my way through the crowd and away. I don't really need an awkward encounter with him of all people right now. "Come on, Georgie. Away!" She follows me, attempting to hide me by standing directly behind me and trying to conceal my vivid red hair by repeatedly bashing me over the head with her parchment - which, I suppose, wasn't her intention. But it still hurt. "OUCH! Georgina, watch what you're doing with that parchment of yours!" I yell, and realize a split second later that, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that?

Too late, however. I can almost mentally see people staring at us, and see Elliot's head whip around at the sound of my voice. I start sprinting, and when I turn around I see the odd sight of Georgina struggling with Elliot, trying to hold him back by tackling him while telling me to, "Run for your life, Ginny, runnnnn!". I do as she says and reach the girl's bathroom before collapsing over the sink, not quite sure what made me do what I'd just done.

I mean, it's not as if Elliot is really a stalker or anything. But for some reason, I don't feel very comfortable talking to him. He's probably angry about the fight between him and Harry, anyway. I don't really want to hear him yelling at me about what an ass my boyfriend is (because he's not, though he does have a nice one- well that's besides the point).

Half a minute later, Georgina rushes into the bathroom, her hair wild and mussed up but with a huge grin on her face. "Boy, Ginny, that Elliot's a wild one," she said, smirking. "Even I could barely hold him down. He must be really into you, eh?"

I roll my eyes, thinking back on our first meeting. "Um, not really. Really hates me now, yeah probably. But a definite no-no for attraction." Well actually, he probably does like me, but no one needs to know that. Really.

"Riiiiiiiight," Georgina drawls in her famous cowboy accent. "You just keep telling yourself that, honey. If he doesn't like you, then I don't know who does."

"Everyone except him, I suppose," I say darkly. "Enough about me. What about you? What happened out there? You look like something nested in your hair - for days." I laugh as her eyes widen and she frantically searches her bag for a comb. I offer her mine and she plants herself in front of a mirror, brushing her curly blond hair back into shape.

After finishing her tidy-up, she turns back to me. "Hmmm," she says thoughfully, recalling the events. "Well, after you started running, he came up past me and had this weird glint in his eye, so I decided to do the heroic thing and grab him." I roll my eyes at this, but motion for her to continue. "Anyway, he started letting out a string of curses and expletives, so I distracted him with a little lecture about respecting his peers and not uttering such profanities to them. He kinda got annoyed at me, so I had to resort to tackling him to keep him back, and after you escaped into the bathroom he got really irritated and we had a friendly little wrestle. Good thing I managed to come out on top, though. All that quidditch practise really helped."

I can just imagine Georgina beating him up; of all my girlfriends, I'd say she was the roughest and toughest. Of course she doesn't look or act it, but she has that streak in her. Which would have made her a perfect Beater for the Gryffindor team... except she decided to trial out for Chaser instead.

Such a waste. She'd be better than the two guys that are Beaters anyday.

"Ginny?"

I quickly clamp a hand over Georgina's mouth. "It's him," I hiss when she looks at me questioningly.

"I can hear you, you know."

Oops. I'd forgotten that the bathrooms had a tendency to echo - and since there was hardly any soft surfaces, not much sound gets absorbed. Too late now; I shut my eyes and pray that he'll go away, thinking he was hearing things or that I wasn't me.

"Come out, I wanna talk to you."

Georgina mimicks him and puckers up her lips. "Ginny, I've always wanted to tell you... I love you!" she mouths, and I punch her on the arm rather audibly. She yelps in pain, then covers her mouth quickly.

"Just to let you know, I'm not going to profess my undying love to you. So get your mind out of the gutter."

I was so not thinking that. Really.

"But I can't say I never liked you at all."

Sigh. So he's still on this same old track.

"Though your boyfriend beat that out of me a while ago. So no, we're back to square one."

Yay! Looks like that fight seemed to have done its job. Even though it wasn't particularly violent or impressive, it was still effective, judging by Elliot's change of mind.

"So, you gonna come out or what?"

"What about no? Not until you leave, at least," I say after a long pause. Georgina grins at me, and I hear him chuckle.

"Come on, I'm not that repulsive, am I? I mean, even if you're taken there's still probably tons of other girls who are eagerly waiting for me to notice their existance. Why, I could be the next Draco Malfoy, if I tried a little harder!" His tone takes on an admiring air, and I roll my eyes. What is Malfoy, some kind of new teenage idol for all boys to look up to and imitate? Sure, he does happen to have all the right qualities for a guy, and girls chase after him like cats chase after mice (OK, not the best metaphor but it'll do).

But still. He could have chosen a more appropriate idol. Like Harry, maybe. I giggle as I imagine Elliot trying to grow his hair out and draw a scar on his forehead to imitate him. "Seriously, Elliot. What are you trying to achieve by coming here and explaining your unrepulsiveness to me? I know what you're like. I've had personal experiences of that."

Beside me, Georgina boredly picks her nails and starts flipping through her Transfiguration notes. So I guess she'll be tuning out until I'm done. Satisfied, I move towards the exit of the bathroom and lean on the wall.

He stays silent for a while. "Are you trying to make me apologize now?" he says after a while.

I laugh. "If you think you should be apologizing to me, you might as well. I mean, when we first met you were extraordinarily rude to me; then after that you tried to hit on me and then fought with my boyfriend. Gee, I can't say you're the politest and most subtle guy I've ever met."

Another pause. I wait patiently for his next sentence.

"I'm not going to apologize to a girl whose boyfriend gave me multiple bruises and whose best friend tackled me," he declares finally.

Well that was unexpected. Surprised and annoyed, I bang on the wall behind my head. "What are you doing here then? Go away and leave me alone."

He sighs. "But... I do admit I acted rashly," he says sheepishly, then adds quickly, "Not that you didn't deserve it, of course."

Again, I pause, momentarily shocked. Elliot is so full of surprises. I guess that's probably one of the only things I like about him. I start laughing. "That's pretty much an apology, Elliot. Why don't you just say the magic words - 'I'm sorry'? It's a lot easier for your puny brain to process." I imagine him scowling at my words.

"I don't wanna." A pouting tone.

"Don't be childish." A gentle but firm rebuke.

"Why should I?"

"Why not?"

"... Fine." There is a lengthy pause as he deflates his ego enough to pronouce the 3 syllables. "I... I'm sorry, Ginny."

"For what?" I grin.

"For God's sake," he yells. "I said sorry already. Man."

I say nothing.

He sighs again. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry for being rude to you and Potter. I'm sorry for fighting with him. I'm sorry for trying to molest you. Happy now? Huh?"

"Now, that wasn't too hard, was it?" I smile at Georgina, who had looked up in amazement at the apology. I motion for her to get up and she shrugs good-naturedly, following my lead. I take my bag and head outside to where he's standing with a scowl on his face. Just like I'd thought. "Good boy, Elliot! You're learning to become more social. I assure you with those two simple words, you'll get very far. Especially with girls."

"Girls like you?" he said, his smirk back on his face.

I roll my eyes. Some people never change. "No. And you'll never get anywhere with me. I told you already. Now, I hope there won't be any more awkward confrontations like before. Right?"

Elliot smiles. "Sure. I promise." He starts to put an arm around my shoulder, but I duck away. I hear Georgina snickering in the background, but ignore it, knowing that if I turned to look at her I'd lose my calm composure and start blushing like mad. "What's wrong? I'm just being friendly." He looks bemused at my behavior.

I wag a finger at him. "We're friends, but I don't want you getting too touchy-feely. I'm sure you understand."

"Ginny... honestly," he huffs, folding his arms across his chest and looking annoyed. "I wasn't thinking of getting touchy-feely. Of course I wasn't."

"Of course you weren't," I agree, and walk on the other side of Georgina until we reached our next class.

I feel somewhat giddy. There's no word that comes to my brain that can describe exactly how I feel right now. It's a bit like the feeling you get after you... I dunno, score a spectacular goal in Quidditch, and everyone sees it? Or maybe when you slug the person you hate most while they're in a full-body bind. Or... well, the list could go on and get more and more wild, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Through the next few periods, I get told off by several teachers for things that I didn't intend to happen.

During Potions I do my best to restrain my random giggles in order to not get 50 points shaved off Gryffindor, but end up choking into my cauldron. Thankfully Snape doesn't notice and I carry on stirring my potion, sniggering every half minute as if I were a nutcase. Unfortunately I think my saliva got into my solution and my potion ended up contrasting starkly to everyone else's, and the points I had been fighting to preserve were taken off anyway.

In the middle of Charms, we had a lesson on learning to control _Wingardium Leviosa_ so that we move the object exactly as we want. We practised with cushions and getting them to stack on a small table in a precise way so that it doesn't topple, but one of my friends said something that made me laugh, and my cushion went so wild and out of control that it hit several people hard in the face and toppled more than one person's cushion tower. I was treated to some very nasty glares and a scolding from Flitwick at the end of the lesson. I suppose I deserved it.

And finally, at Care of Magical Creatures, we were studying Slippers, a type of very slippery and ferocious lizards. The professor noticed how some of us didn't seem all that convinced about its 'legendary soaplike slipperiness' tried to prove it to us by asking for a volunteer to try and hold it. That ended up being me. I managed to grab one, but I held it so tightly that it popped out of my fingers and went sailing into the air. Unfortunately the lizard broke its fall by clamping its jaws onto one of the Slytherin boys' groin, and the scream that was uttered was purely bloodcurdling. I'm sure I'll have nightmares about it for days.

So it's probably no surprise that by the end of the day, I am feeling rather dejected by the pain and trauma that I had caused in mere hours. I think about asking Georgina to cast a Cheering Charm on me, but she had gone off with her boyfriend and I don't want to interrupt them just for that. And I don't trust anyone else enough to get it right, except for one person... Hermione. But she is nowhere to be seen either.

I hang around the common room (looking quite a lot like a friendless loser), waiting for the trio to arrive. As people trickle steadily through the portrait hole, I spot Harry and Ron clambering through and run up to them, glad to have company. "Hi Harry, where's Hermione?" I ask.

"Hey, you forgot about me," Ron complains, pulling my hair. I squawk and bat his hand away impatiently. "I feel so unloved... even by my own little sister..." he sighs dramatically. "Oh, woe is me..."

I roll my eyes and Harry laughs, then turns to me. "I have no idea, actually. She might be at the library, but I haven't seen her since dinner."

"Maybe she's off somewhere with Malfoy," says my brother darkly. "I still don't understand what she sees in that git... geez..."

"So much for trying to get rid of him, huh?" I say, grinning. "Looks like that part didn't work out so well. But seriously, I'm amazed that she even did some of the ones she told me about. They were so un-Hermione."

Ron snorts. "You never know what Hermione can do when she puts her mind to it. She's full of surprises, that's for sure."

"I second that," Harry says matter-of-factly.

I laugh at their pretend seriousness. "I'm sure you're both right." Then I brighten, and link my arm through Harry's. "Harry, let's go for a walk! We haven't done that in ages and I feel like talking to you. Some very interesting things happened today..." I say as we slowly walk towards the portrait-hole. Behind us, I hear Ron protesting about us leaving him alone, and then muttering something that sounded like 'gotta get a girlfriend'. I grin and hang onto Harry tighter.

Somehow, I had a funny feeling that Ron is right about where Hermione might be, and running around trying to find her while she's with Draco might not be such a great idea.

Don't as me how I know. It's a girl thing.

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Phew! Done! xD OK, I dunno how long this chapter is, but it seems decent... I was starting to run out of ideas as to how to make this chapter longer so I didn't want to make up lamer dialogue just for the sake of chapter length. -.-;;

Oh, and I'm pleased to say I've made it into the finalist round of the 'He Had It Coming' Dramione awards! If you have ze time, could you please drop off a vote for me? I'd be really happy if you did! The link and info is on my profile. :D -Hugs-


	39. Chapter 39: Draco

Whoa whoa whoa... it's been a while, hasn't it? This fic is on the verge of completion, which is why I've updated now rather than later. I'm trying to motivate myself to write by not letting myself start any new fics until this one is finished. Oh, and this is probably going to be the 2nd-to-last chapter unless I go mad and decide to add more stuff. New fics, here I come! x3

Btw, I leeched another idea from Owl Posts by Farangis. Honestly, that fic is starting to grow on me. It gets better every time I read it. x.x"

PS: I take so long between updates that I tend to forget what happened in previous chapters. So if somehow my timeline of events doesn't quite make sense, then just blame my memory problems. I'm also lazy which is why I don't bother rereading my chapters...

& after a surprisingly short amount of time of writing, I present to you...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 39

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DRACO

Before I forget, I must say that last night was great. Well, they always said it was the bookish types who were the best in bed. I never used to believe that saying but now I'm having second thoughts.

And it's hard to imagine that it had been Hermione's first time. Either she'd been doing some research or she was a gifted natural.

Ahem. Anyway... moving on.

I open my eyes and stare up at the now familiar white ceiling of the Hospital Wing. Yes, that's right. I'm back here again. For the umpteenth time. I could almost call this place my second dormitory.

I roll over, grimacing as a streak of pain shoots through my head like lightning. I gingerly touch my forehead, where a thick plaster resides. I peel it off and feel the skin. Perfect. Madam Pomfrey may be a fussy old woman, but she sure knows her recovery spells.

At that moment, the door bursts open, and I barely catch a glimpse of the intruder's thick brown curls before they rush over to me and envelop me in a tight hug. "Draco! Are you alright? How's your head?" Hermione screeches in a most un-Hermione-like way.

I decide to play with her a little. "Who are you?" I say, putting on a blank expression. "Where am I? Who am I?"

She stops dead in her tracks. "D-Draco?" she asks shakily. "Do you have amnesia? I'm Hermione! Your girlfriend!" She starts muttering about how it was all her fault that I hit my head hard enough to shake my brain and make me forget everything. Again she hugs me, and plants a kiss on my lips. "It's me. You'd better remember or I'll clobber you until you do."

I am not particularly in favour of a beating so I start to smirk. "Of course I remember you, Hermione. I was just kidding. I don't have amnesia. I'm perfectly fine. See?" I point to my forehead, which shows no sign of ever having a huge cut in the middle of it. "I've just got a headache. That's all. Nothing to worry about."

Unfortunately, Hermione does not seem to care and stares at me with a funny look on her face. Then she grabs a nearby pillow and proceeds to smother me. "Take that! That's for making me worry! Do you have any idea how scared I was after you hit your head and got knocked out? And this is how you repay me for my trouble! By pretending to forget me! ARGH!"

OK, so that was a ill-humoured prank. I'm starting to have trouble thinking of ways to apologize to her due to lack of oxygen. I grab at her arm and she lifts the pillow up, a glare on her face as I take in deep breaths. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Just stop trying to kill me. Do you know how much my head hurts already without you helping it?" I lift my hands up in front of my face in defense.

She turns pale. "My bad. I just got... so annoyed." Then she smiles. "You can have the honour of knowing that you're the only one who can make me feel that way."

"Thanks," I say dryly, smiling despite myself. Inside, my ego is inflating like a balloon being pumped.

She drags a chair over from a nearby corner and sits down beside me. "Oh, that's right. Your friends told me to bring you this." She smirked as she brought out a bag containing all kinds of sweets, a few bottles of butterbeer and a copy of PlayWizard. I feel myself going pink, and snatch it off her quickly and place it on the bedside table on the opposite side of where Hermione is sitting. "There's no need to be embarrassed... after all, I have two guys as best friends. You get used to things like that after a while."

I roll my eyes and tactfully go on to a new subject to prevent more awkwardness on my side. "Tell me... how did you get me down here without anyone finding out what we were up to? I mean, I wasn't even dressed when I went unconscious."

To my surprise, she flushed bright red. "I, uh... I had to dress you. Then I carried you downstairs and found McGonagall... and you can work out the rest."

"And she didn't find the fact that we were up alone on the Astronomy Tower strange?" I say, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"I made up an excuse. A lame one, but then again it's not like I stuck around long enough for her to get suspicious." She smiled. "Thanks to someone I'm getting good at making up excuses."

We talk for a while longer, and then she leaves to go to the Great Hall for lunch.

I stare at the ceiling again. Sigh. I should be in the Great Hall with everyone else, but no. Instead I'm stuck in the bloody Hospital Wing. Damn Hermione for surprising me with her declaration of love. It wasn't a bad moment, but I was in a bad place. But I find that I don't feel angry at her at all. After all, she did say she loved me. Which is pretty amazing considering Hermione Granger said it to Draco Malfoy.

Bored, I decide to try getting out of bed. Gingerly I sit up, and am immediately hit with an incredible wave of nausea. I shut my eyes and try not to throw up, and lie back down. OK, bad idea. I sigh again, feeling like an invalid. It's amazing what a migraine can do to you.

With these thoughts in mind, I drift off to sleep, head throbbing all the way.

When I wake up again, I feel someone beside my bed, holding my hand. I rub my eyes blearily, and blink a few times. I turn my head a little and see Hermione slumped in her chair, apparently asleep. I watch her for a while, marvelling at how innocent and peaceful she looked when she was asleep, and then give her hand a squeeze. She jolts awake, and looks around wildly. "It's just me," I say, grinning. "Why so shocked?"

"Oh my God, I can't believe I fell asleep!" she said, shaking her head. "I was supposed to help you get out of the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey said I could. So... think you're up for it?"

"Of course!" I say indignantly. I try sitting up again, and this time the only thing I feel in my head is a slight dizzyness. "Well, I still can't say I'm in great shape but I think I can survive getting out of bed. At least." Hermione leans against the wall and makes no move to help me as I swing my legs over the side and try to stand up. She knows how proud I am, and being helped just to get out of bed would embarrass me to no end.

I mean, I do have an ego to maintain.

I shakily step forward and promptly lose my balance, and support myself with the chair. "Are you OK?" Hermione can't help asking, with a concerned look on her face. I must look pretty damn weak.

"I'm fine," I say, flapping a hand carelessly. "I can do this." As if to prove my point, I let go of the chair and walk around the room slowly. I am pleased to note that my head gets better with every step I take. Good. At this rate I won't have to stagger around in front of everyone and make a fool of myself. "OK... I think I'm good to go." I look at Hermione, who steps away from the wall and walks over to the door, holding it open for me. I head over to where she stands waiting, and stops. She looks at me questioning. "I'm going to hold onto your hand for support," I announce. "Whether you like it or not."

She laughs. "I like it. Go ahead." I take her hand and we walk outside. Finally... out of the miserable Hospital Wing and back into human society. With Hermione's help, I manage to make it most of the way to the entrance to the castle, where I spot Potter and Weasel standing around talking. When they see Hermione, they start to head over to where we are, not looking pleased at the fact that I had a firm grip on her hand. I smirk at them.

Another point to me.

Unfortunately, my head chooses this moment to go crazy and I start feeling really, really dizzy. So dizzy that I have trouble standing up and I topple over, bringing Hermione down with me. She falls on her back and I collapse on top of her, groaning in pain.

Why does this always happen to us?

"MALFOY! Get your bloody ferret ass away from Hermione RIGHT NOW! You're doing this on purpose just to piss me off, aren't you?" Weasley roars, his face red as he tries in vain to lift me up. I yelp in pain as he comes dangerously close to dislocating my shoulder. Harry stands aside, looking amused while Hermione starts laughing. "Hermione! What's so funny?" Weasley asks, looking confused and annoyed. He lets go of my arm and I sigh in relief. One more tug and I was sure that my arm would have come clean off.

Fucking Weasel.

"Ron, don't strain yourself. He's a dead weight," she giggles.

"Hey," I wince. "Its not my fault my head is killing me." I roll off her and lie on my back in the grass for a while as Hermione climbs up. She offers me a hand and I stand up, brushing grass off my jeans.

"Let's get you back to your dorm, alright?" Hermione says, walking ahead by a few paces but staying obviously behind Potter and Weasley. The latter keeps throwing irritated glances at me, which I continuously counter with a smirk. Eventually he starts walking faster to put distance between us and Potter turns around briefly and catches my eye, looking like he is trying very hard not to grin.

Well at least now I seem to have support from one of the Golden-Trio-minus-Hermione-since-she's-on-my-side. I couldn't care less about Weasel, but Potter has a rather large fanbase and it wouldn't do to have them stalking me, trying to hex me in my sleep.

Of course, much of his fans are also my devoted followers. So I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway, no matter which way things go.

By the time Hermione and I get to the dungeons, I feel well enough to walk without some form of support. I tell her as much and she nods, backtracking to where her friends are waiting for her at the entrance to the dungeons. I slowly stride my way to the Slytherin common room, and head inside.

As soon as I show my face, the whole room goes into an uproar and everyone crowds around me. The girls simper and ask if I'm alright, while the guys pat me on the back for spending a night on the top of the Astronomy Tower, which, as everyone knows, is the place where nobody goes to watch the stars. At least not the ones in the sky. I throw them all off, and crawl into the boys' dormitories and into my bed. A few minutes later, Blaise comes in.

"So, Draco, how was it?" he asks, smirking.

"How was what?"

"Stop playing dumb. You know what I mean. How was Granger?"

I chuckle. "Great. Not that you'll ever find out how great, of course."

He wrinkles his nose. "I swear, the things you come up with these days... why would I ever think of going after a Gryffindor? Especially one like her."

"That 'her' that you're talking about is way better than those random chicks that you pick up anyday," I drawl, turning the other way to signal that our conversation was over.

There is a pause as Blaise gets over the initial shock of being ignored. Soon enough, he picks up where he left off again, and I find myself grimacing into my pillow. "And by the way, did you hear about Pansy?"

"What about her?" I say wearily. "This better be good, or I'm gonna rip you a new asshole tomorrow morning."

He seems to tremble a little at this but ploughs on. "Well, this happened about a week ago, but she's got something going on with Weasley. Weasley," he repeated, as if to clarify his point.

Pansy Parkinson and Ron Weasley? That's impossible.

Well, apart from the time when she was let loose in the Gryffindor common room and wrecked havoc on his spine, but that was typical Pansy. She would have done the same to any other guy. Weasley was just the only one stupid enough to stay with a 5 metre radius of her when she was in one of her moods where she is determined to massage someone. Anyone.

Seriously, I thought Blaise could come up with more believable things to hold my attention.

"Alright, Blaise, you better cherish your last night as a guy with only one asshole," I say sleepily. "See ya tomorrow."

He thumps me on the back. "I'm serious, Draco! Didn't you notice how Pansy wasn't all over you the moment you got in the common room, like she normally would be? She told me she was going to go look for Ronny-darling." He smirks. "I think you've got competition, Draco. If you're not careful Pansy's gonna go to Weasel's side."

Hmm. That was quite strange how I wasn't being strangled by Pansy the moment I entered the room. I'm starting to find this idea slightly believable. Everyone knew that Pansy would never give up a good chance to molest me, especially in public. It was unheard of for her to throw away such a chance. However, if she was pursuing a new target... that would explain it.

I start to laugh. "Oh, God. I almost feel sorry for Ron. He's going to get more of those massages if he's not careful. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes anytime soon..."

Blaise seems relieved that I finally believed he was telling the truth. That, and the fact he now could have more time as a normal human being instead of a mutilated freak. "Yeah, I gotta agree with you there."

"Anything else?" I ask, covering a yawn with my hand and turning around again so that my back was towards him once again.

"Not really. Goodnight, Draco," he says with a shrug, and leaves.

I grin as he shuts the door. Now Weasley'll get a taste of what I had to go through all these years at the hands of Pansy. Sure, she was pretty hot, but I swear she had a brain the size of an ostrich's and not nearly as functional. Or maybe it was just taken up with too many lecherous thoughts. Well, at least she'll distract him from trying to steal Hermione from me. I suppose Pansy could be helpful sometimes, when she put her mind to it.

I think I'm going to enjoy the next couple of days, or maybe even weeks.

Very, very much.

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Wow. That was a fast chapter, for me. XD OK, OK, it was kinda short but this is the 2nd to last chapter after all.

It seems like there's going to be more about Ron and Pansy, isn't there? Sadly I don't feel like writing about their 'blossoming relationship' so I'm just gonna leave it at that. And this way he'll earn more sympathy from you readers. :D -Evil laugh-

Review and I'll pump out the next chapter ASAP! Heheh. Oh, and if you read my manga I'll update even FASTER. My manga can be found via my profile. It's my homepage. -Shameless promotion-


	40. Chapter 40: Hermione

Well, here it is. The last chapter of this epic Dramione tale. Hopefully you all enjoyed it - I'll miss writing it. D: Well, there's always S U R V I V O R and Sugar and Spice to keep me occupied... the latter of which I haven't updated in a long, long time... -Guilty look-

& the story concludes here...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 40

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HERMIONE

Now that Draco is fine and dandy... I'm starting to worry about where Ron might have disappeared off to. Prefect duties are in about 10 minutes and I can't exactly go alone.

He isn't in the common room, or his dormitory, or the boys' bathroom according to Harry (unless he is having a severe case of diarrhea and was too embarrassed to answer Harry's yelling or he was getting in touch with his feminine side and putting on makeup in the Prefects' toilets - both of which seem quite unlikely). I can't think of anywhere else he might be, especially since we're his best friends and he always spends his evenings with us.

Unless... he's with the Slytherins?

But there's no reason he would be. We haven't had a fight or anything (or at least our last one had been resolved already), and Ron's not exactly on good terms with any of them. Nor is he somehow attracted to any of them, the last time I checked. Well, I hope not, anyway.

I wait another few minutes, becoming more and more agitated as the seconds tick by. Eventually I give up waiting and decide to head to Professor McGonagall's office by myself and hope to meet him there. As soon as I push the portrait open and step out, I hear someone running toward me and turn around just as Ron collides into me with the force of a running buffalo. Not that I've been tackled by a running buffalo, but you know what I mean. I didn't stand a chance in the impact and is thrown unceremoniously to the floor. "HERMIONE!" he gasps breathlessly, helping me up with all the grace of a gorilla. "Help me! I gotta get away from that... that thing chasing me!" He jabs a finger energetically behind him, looking around fearfully as he does so.

I look at where he points and half expect to see one of Hagrid's 'pets' set loose, but instead I see nothing... until I spot a familiar black-haired girl apparently looking for something - or someone.

Suddenly everything clicks and I realize what is going on. So my nagging suspicions about Ron and the Slytherins were right! Trying hard not to burst out laughing, I push Ron in front of me to prevent him being seen by Pansy and we hurry toward the Transfiguration classroom. "You have a lot to explain, young man," I say, grinning as Professor McGonagall shoos us out of the room after giving us our usual instructions. "Since when did you and Pansy get together? You could have told us, you know."

"Since never!" he huffs indignantly, looking somewhat offended and embarrassed. "Do you really think I'd go out with her, of all people? Honestly..."

"Well you never know," I say innocently. "Stranger things have happened. Like, oh, me and Draco, for instance." Ron groans in exasperation.

The night passes uneventfully, and soon I am in the girls' dormitory getting changed for bed. As I crawl under my blankets, I muse at how us Gryffindors have gotten closer to the Slytherins this year. Draco was somewhat the one who started it, albeit unconsciously, with his looks attracting the attention of girls from all over the school. But I actually got past the mere attraction level and went to the relationship stage with a Slytherin, with my plans to kill Draco (which I can safely say did not succeed the way I planned). And now, not only is Harry more tolerant of Draco and perhaps Slytherins in general - excluding Blaise, of course - even Pansy is chasing after Ron. For some reason I find that... amusing.

Though I suppose I should have seen it coming after that time when she stormed into the common room and gave him that unwanted full-body massage. Heh.

The next morning at breakfast, Ron tries his best to huddle between me and Harry and cover his very obvious red hair. "Please don't see me, please don't see me," he mutters under his breath, like some kind of mantra to ward off evil spirits. Unfortunately this causes the opposite effect and Pansy walks by right behind us on her way to the Slytherin table, and upon hearing the chanting, stops to see who it is.

"Oh! Ronnie-kins!" she half-shrieks in delight when she spots him. "What a coincidence, seeing you here! It must be fate! Come, sit with me!" And without asking for his opinion, she drags him away in a flurry of robes, upturned plates and flailing arms as Ron tried unsuccessfully to get away and only ended up tripping over her robes and demolishing our plates. Almost as a reflex I mutter '_Reparo!_' and the plates are restored. Sadly, there isn't a spell to restore Ron to his original seat and he is taken away, a panicky look on his face.

When I turn back to Harry, he has a half-strangled look on his face. "Well," he says carefully. "I'm glad to see that... Parkinson's getting over her weird infatuation with Malfoy. Which is good for you, 'Mione, of course." He smiles grimly as he watches Ron suffer at the Slytherin table.

"Except now she has an infatuation with Ron," I say easily, grinning as I help myself to some toast and occasionally glancing over to the other table.

"Works for me," someone drawls behind me. I almost leap out of my seat when a pair of hands find themselves on my shoulder. Judging by the surprised and dreamy looks on some of the girls' faces, I can guess who it is.

Harry makes a face. "Malfoy, save the affection for when you guys are alone," he grumbles, but I catch him eyeing Ginny as he speaks.

I grin to myself and bat Draco's hands away. "I'm having breakfast," I say, glaring at him.

"Today's Saturday. You can eat whenever you want," he shoots back.

"Breakfast is important."

"So I'm less important than that piece of toast you're eating?" Draco raises an eyebrow, pretending to look sad. "I'm hurt."

I know he's trying to win me over with his charm, and as much as I'd like to say I resisted and continued my eating, I couldn't. Soon I find myself bidding goodbye to Harry and walking away from the table, with a satisfied Draco beside me.

"I guess now your life's going to be a whole lot easier without Pansy," I say once we're out of the Great Hall. "Unless of course, you liked having her fawning over you all the time."

"Do I sense jealousy?" he smirks, until I step on his foot. Then his smirk turns into a grimace.

"Did you say something?" I ask, a dangerous smile on my face.

He coughs quickly. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Good." We continue walking slowly until we get to the edge of the lake, which can probably be voted as our favorite spot. As I sit down and glance at Draco to see if he would do the same, I notice that he seems to be thinking about something. "Something on your mind?" I ask as he lies down on the grass, making sure to keep an eye on the Giant Squid in case it tries to pull him in. He sighs, then coughs, then starts fidgeting. I didn't imagine someone like Draco would fidget, but I suppose you learn something new everyday.

"Just... about that night."

I feel like my heart has turned into a large toad and is now jumping merrily in my throat. It's interesting what mere memories could do to me. "... Yeah?"

"I was wondering... if you... well." He pauses. "If you had any regrets. Not saying that I did," he adds quickly, when I turn to look at him with a rather murderous look on my face. "It was great. Better than great. Awesome. Fantastic. Smash-"

I put my hand over his mouth to stop his blabbering and hear a string of muffled noises before he trails off. "What do you think? Of course I have no regrets. If I didn't like what was happening at the time, you know I wouldn't have hesitated to grab my wand and hex you where it would really hurt. But I didn't, and I still haven't. So you can be safe in knowing that I didn't... mind... it." I feel a blush crawling up my neck and I turned away from him to hide it.

If it were possible, I can almost feel him smirking widely at my back. "Well, that's settled then. I was just making sure... to protect my health in the near future. Just in case you had something against it. Not that you would have any reason to... pretty sure I made it enjoyable, hm? I mean, judging by the way you-"

"If you don't stop boasting about your skills in bed, your health in the near future will be jeopardized," I snarl at him, very aware that my face was now beetroot red. Thankfully there is no one around or I'd never live it down.

He starts laughing. "Come on, no need to be embarrassed!" he grins wickedly. "You- AHHHHHH!"

"_Acquapyro! _No - _PYRIFICO!_" The blue flames I originally cast at his robes soon turn orange, and very much real. "Now, that should shut you up."

For the rest of the time I spend outside with Draco, I watch, amused, as he takes off his robes in record time and in his panic, try all sorts of random spells to put out the fire (thankfully the cloth is wool, so the fire spreads slowly, giving him plenty of time to come up with something). A few that I witness include one that turns one of his sleeves into mush, another that makes the robe wriggle around weakly like a dying worm, and one that looks suspiciously like a Dark Arts spell that involves little vampire bats coming out of his wand and trying to 'eat' the fire, though they only end up getting burned into crisps. Eventually he stops trying and just throws his robes into the lake, where it sizzles slightly and the fire goes out.

"That... was unnecessary..." he huffs, glaring at me while casting mending spells on his damaged robes.

I smile innocently. "Well, you're going to be stuck with me for a while, so you might as well get used to it." I patted him on the back. "And congratulations on saving your robes before it disappeared."

He looks pleased. "That would be good, actually. You staying with me, not me saving my robes," he says, smiling a smile that, for once, did not contain hints of a smirk, a sneer, a leer or anything of the sort.

I suppose that it would count as a truly genuine smile. I'm hoping I'll be seeing more of those in the future.

"Let's go," I offer, starting to stand up. He quickly grabs my hand and puts an arm around my waist to help me up, the picture of a perfect gentleman. I grin, and don't let go of his hand the whole way as we head back into the castle.

Later that day, a very bedraggled-looking Ron stumbles into the common room, where Harry and I are writing our latest essay. As soon as he comes into the room, a sort of hush descends upon everyone as they all look his way. He stares back at them, and then at us. "What?"

Concerned looks and words greet him. "Ron, are you OK?"

"Hey man, you alright? You don't look so good. Here, have a seat."

"God, Ron, you look like a mess." This last comment comes from Ginny, who wrinkles her nose in distaste at the sight of her brother. "I hope you had fun."

Ron stomps over to his little sister. "Ginny, do I look like I had fun?" He points to his ruffled hair, his wrinkled robes and the top buttons on his shirt which had been ripped unceramoniously off.

She holds back giggles. "No, but you look like you were mauled by Pansy."

"Which is exactly what happened," he groans dramatically, showing a hint of Fred and George in his actions. At this, everyone starts whispering loudly amongst themselves, discussing theories on what could have occured between those two. "I can hear you guys, you know! I'm not exactly deaf!" he yells loudly when rumors in the making reach his ears. Finally, after a few more words with Ginny, he comes over to where we are sitting. I raise an eyebrow at him, smiling expectantly. He rolls his eyes back.

"So what happened?" Harry asks, semi-consciously dipping his quill in the ink bottle repeatedly as he looked at Ron, until the entire lower half of it was black with ink and his fingertips were stained the same color. "Judging by what happened last time you guys met... nothing good."

To Harry's surprise, and not mine, Ron breaks into a grin. "Actually, nothing bad this time. She was civil. Honestly," he adds when Harry gives him a disbelieving look. He also turns to shoo away the crowd of people who had been gathering around without us noticing.

"No wonder you looked discreetly pleased last time when you came back from Prefect duties with Pansy," I say, smirking. "So you guys are on good terms now. But what we want to know is - exactly how good?" Harry nudges him in the ribs, prompting him to answer.

Ron goes red. "We're not on good terms," he says quickly. "I just said she was civil. And how did you know I was pleased last time?"

"Girls notice these things," I say absently, scratching bits of ink off my nails. "And anyhow, you aren't exactly hard to read. Not for me at least."

"Yeah, you can't hide from Hermione Granger," Harry agrees, nodding sagely. "You can't hide anything. Nothing at all! Nothing, I say!"

I give him a weird look. "I'm sure we got the point the first time, Harry," I remark, giggling. I think being with Ginny makes Harry a bit high sometimes. I'm starting to wonder whether she's good for his health or not - but I suppose as long as they're happy, I can't complain.

We work on the essay for a bit longer, and eventually Ginny starts yawning. It looks slightly fake because it takes a long time with her mouth open before the yawn comes, but when she grabs Harry's arm and makes hasty goodnights to me and Ron, the reason for the pretense is obvious. I glance at the grandfather clock on the wall near the fireplace. Barely 10pm. I turn back and see Ron glaring suspiciously at Ginny and Harry's retreating backs as they slowly make their way towards the Fat Lady painting to head out of the common room. "I thought they were tired," he says, an annoyed expression on his face. "Honestly, these days... little sisters can't be trusted at all."

I laugh and look back at them again just as they climb through the portrait-hole. They look so happy and into each other that I can't help but feel that this year has been nothing short of spectacular when it came to relationships. There's Harry and Ginny, obviously, who have had probably one of the more tumultuous relationships so far with Blaise's random snog with Ginny, and Elliot's interest in the same girl and all the trouble that it caused. Then there's Ron and Pansy, who seems to have settled down a bit with the drama and action. Although they're not even close to being a couple, something tells me that Ron doesn't hate Pansy's massages as much as he says he does and Pansy enjoys giving him said massages more than she does with anyone else (except maybe Draco, but that's a different story).

And finally... me and Draco. Possibly the most unexpected two people to ever get together in Hogwarts history. If anyone had made a bet before this year on the chances of us becoming a couple, everyone would have betted against it.

I suppose that means everyone would have lost the bet.

At Potions a few days later, Snape seems to be in a foul mood again and starts picking on his favorite victim, Neville. This is a scene that is played out all too often and most of us are used to it by now - though of course that doesn't mean we like it. Funnily enough, although his memory is now much, much better than before, he still has trouble in Potions. Maybe Snape's mere presence kills his brain cells with the power of fear.

"Longbottom," Snape's silkily dangerous voice says. The Gryffindors stiffen, while the Slytherins look at each other and prepare for a good laugh. "I wonder... why is it that your potion is pink and bubbling like molten lava when the instructions clearly say that you should put one newt tail into your potion, not two?" He taps Neville's cauldron with his wand and as always when he does this, the concoction inside disappears and the cauldron is empty. Neville looks like he's trying not to start crying and slowly starts again.

The Slytherins laugh uproariously like it's the funniest thing on Earth, Draco with them. When he catches my glare he quickly stops and smacks Crabbe and Goyle, who also stop their stupid chuckling.

It's times like these that really make me wonder why I'm in love with a stuck-up ferret like him. Then, in a moment of déjà vu, I remember that everything started with a Potions class like this one, and I suddenly realize that I still have one plan of my 10 left. With a grimace directed at Draco, who seems not to be able to hold in his laughter again as Neville continues to make mishaps in his potion (not that I blame him - having Snape breathing down your neck while you work must be pretty frightening), I think of my final plan with a slight smile on my lips and my hands trying not to reach for my wand.

_--- Plan 10: Try _not_ to kill Draco Malfoy_

_When: Until the next time I change my mind (which could happen anytime, mind you)_

_Why: Because I say so_

_How: Must muster all the self-control and self-restraint I have so I don't punch him in the face or hex him into the middle of nowhere everytime he annoys me - I'm already using my wand way to much for that purpose these days, anyway_

And I sure hope that this will be the one plan that will actually go the way I want it to.

Got my fingers crossed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ahh, the end! The ending wasn't particularly dramatic or anything. Buuuuuut this wasn't a particularly dramatic story in the first place. xD This was, however, the most fun story I'd ever written (not that I've written all that many), and it helped me realize that I still have to improve HEAPS more with my writing. -.-;;

Just wanted to get some feedback from you readers (you don't have to answer if you don't want to!): what did you think was the funniest moment in the story? The most interesting? The most romantic? The most violent? -Laughs- You can also say whatever you want to say about this fic if you do decide to answer, cos it'll be the last time you can! Hahaha. :D

I seriously had a great time with 10WtKDM, everyone, and I hope you did too. Kudos and see you in my other fics (which need to be updated! -Nervous laugh-)! -Waves-


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